Today being Father’s Day my brother asked me to take him to the cemetery. I didn’t want to go, but I knew he deserved to go. Just the mention of Father’s Day places a large lump in my throat, and I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off without breaking up at the cemetery.
I took him out to eat, since he hadn’t been anywhere the entire weekend. Not that I didn’t try, but he just doesn’t feel good. After we ate we went to a local department store and I bought Al straws to drink from. He is having trouble raising his arms far enough to get a glass or pop can high enough to drink from. He has been dribbling most of his drink down his chin from the level being off-balance. I got him some more pain pills and some good-smelling shampoo and body wash. I picked up some flowers for him and for me so we could each place them at the grave. Now we were on our way.
We reached mom and dad’s area, and Al just started bawling right there on the spot. He was crying so hard, he could not even get out of the car. I got out and went to the other side and helped him out. I handed him his flowers, and he went ahead of me. I stayed in the background, giving him his privacy, and when he was finished, I made my way to pay my respects. I wished my daddy a wonderful Father’s Day, and told them both that I loved them and missed them.
Next Al wanted to see grandpa’s site, so we went over to the next road and I waited while he paid his respect to all family members there. Then we walked back over to mom and dad and Al says to me. I am going to be right next to mom. I said huh?
He doesn’t say anything and turns towards the car. He gets back in and then I go over and get in my side. Before turning the car on, Al looks at me and says, God told me last night that I was going home sooner than he had thought. I asked what do you mean, what did he tell you? He says to me, God asked me if there was anything else I wanted to do before he took me home, and I said I wanted to forgive my dad. As usual, when I can not deal with something, I sit frozen and quiet.
Al tells me that he needed to see mom and dad today. He says that he asked dad to forgive him for anything he did, and then he said dad told me he did and also asked Al for his forgiveness. He then made the skin crawl on me and said to me, mom raised her arm and pointed to the side of her and said this is where you will be, right here with me. I asked, what does that mean? He tells me that he has a spot right there beside mom and that she patted it for him to come.
I don’t know if Al ever knew that he has a spot right beside mom waiting for him, or whether this really happened, but for my own well being, I choose to believe what he is saying. I never question what others say about God, because God shows himself to others in many ways. Al then speaks for the last time, and says God came to him again at the spot, and says your time is very soon.
We both sat there. I cried because I was already grieving for my brother, and also because I miss my parents so badly. Al cried, because he had done what he needed to do, and now told me he was ready to go. Not home, to heaven.
I started the car, and we drove home in silence, each of us consumed in our own thoughts.