Anything Else?


Close up of a bright red mask (IMG_2815a)

It was a beautiful Sunday, God’s day of rest. Blue skies, a chill in the air. No heat on, but the electric fireplace, and definitely no air conditioning turned on. Windows all shut, and I hate this, because I love fresh air.

We had no plans, since I worked so hard yesterday, cleaning the house. I was going to laze and Al was watching television, when my son came down and invited us both to go to Fort Wayne to a car show, that just happened to be at the restaurant, The Quick Lube. Al loves that place. I posted pics of it a few months back. This place is all about cars and women standing near cars. Most of the women were at the back though, by the male restroom door, go figure. There are also real miniature race cars hanging from the ceilings. Al thinks this is cooler than the cat’s meow!

Although, he has great struggles with moving, his brain was anxious to get his shoes and socks and jacket on and said yes! I want to go, can we go nice sister? Get that, trying to butter me up by calling me nice. LOL I said alright, I know you would love it, so let’s go and save being lazy for another day.

We followed them up there and went to the restaurant parking lot, but there was no car show going on. We parked and my son made some phone calls and discovered it didn’t start until 4pm. He wanted to know what we should do since it was only 1:30. I suggested eating, as Al needs to be on his medication schedule, and they agreed.

We all got out and Al was slow but we all made it. Al just used his cane to go in, as the scooter would not be welcome in this place. As soon as we go in, Al has to use the mens room, and since I had to use the lady’s room, I walked back with him. I went and came out, and Al did not. I waited and waited, still nothing. I kept wondering to myself, should I ask a nice guy going in or coming out to check on him? Men came and went, but no Al.

Slowly, I cracked open the door, and yelled his name, and he answered. Well, he is still standing, I think to myself. I ask him  if he is alright and he says yes, that he is hurrying. Another ten minutes goes by. My son and his family have been seated now about fifteen minutes, and I am hoping they have taken the initiative to go ahead and order.

Finally, Al comes out, and he is just beaming ear to ear. I don’t know what could be so exciting about peeing, and I was not going to ask. I told him to let’s go, the others are waiting. We get to the main entrance where waiters and staffers are heavily trafficking, and all of a sudden, Al stops dead in his tracks. I think, oh no, his legs are frozen again. He says, Terry, guess what, and I look at him still smiling and slowly, with hesitation say what. He says I did it! I say you did what. He says I went poop and he shows me a diagram with his hands that it was definitely a large. He says this  in front of everyone, you don’t need to give me that poop medicine tonight, because I went a whole bunch.

I died, right there I died. I didn’t have to check myself in my compact mirror, I knew my face was burning hot. People around started snickering and laughing out loud. One kid I noticed plugged his nose and was laughing. I took a nice deep breath and smiling at Al, I stated calmly, that is wonderful bub, now let’s go to our seats.

We ordered and I tried not to look at the few tables near us that overheard Al’s exciting story, and our food finally came and we dug in. I never let on to my son what had happened, I just wanted to forget it.

When we got up to leave and everyone was outside, Al’s legs froze. No moving, no marching, no baby steps, no mother may I. He and I struggled for about fifteen minutes, and we were not being very successful. He would take a shuffle, then stop, then try again, then stop.

The car looked like it was ten miles away, and Al was bent over in half, telling me he could not stand up much longer. I begged him to keep standing telling him how cold and hard the cement was. Standing in the background was my son and his girlfriend,  just watching…..

I yelled over at my son and shook my head no, but he seemed like he didn’t get the picture, so I yelled, I need help now!! He walks over and says what, and I say please, please grab his other arm to help me to keep his balance. He says that I need to go get the car, and inside I am thinking uh yep, but how am I going to get it and leave him here with just you. I looked at him and Al and I said to my son, do you think you can hold him up while I run and get the car? I don’t think I waited for an answer, because all I remember is running, ya me run, huffing and puffing at my middle-aged speed. I got the car and raced over to where he was and I mentioned that I needed a wheelchair. My son says you don’t need no stupid wheelchair. I say yes we do, because by the time I get the scooter out of the trunk and all put together, he will have fallen to the ground. The cane is useless now. He is too weak for it.

I get him in the car, and then I light up a cigarette and thank God for helping Al to stand while I got the car. They wanted to go to the Halloween store, and so we followed them there, and this time, I got the scooter out and he rode it through the store, laughing at all the spooky items. After this store, they knew of one more, so I broke down the scooter by myself, and put it in the trunk,, and I had loaded Al already and we went to the other spooky store.

I unload the scooter again by myself, and put it together, and get Al out of the car and into the seat. We go in, and get about a fourth of the way through the store, and I saw this beautiful red, feathery, glitter face mask and I wanted to take a photo shot of it so I could show all of you its beauty. I handed my camera to my daughter-in-law, and she is turning the camera in the right position, and she drops it. It is in slow motion in my mind,as I am standing there watching it fall to the cement floor, lens first. Pieces break and scatter on the floor. My son tries to fix it but it can not be fixed. He was embarrassed I think, and she said that she didn’t mean to do it. I placed the camera back in my purse, and now I do not have a camera. I don’t know if they are going to try to get it fixed, or if I have to go buy a new camera,or maybe my son will try to fix it, I  just don’t know. I should not feel this way, but I felt like I lost one of my close friends.

By then it was getting late afternoon, and I think the camera incident sort of ruined the fun. They decided it was too late to go to the car show and they had to go pick up their son from family’s house, and so Al and I came home. On the way home, Al wanted a coke, so I stopped at a gas station and got some coffee and him a diet coke, and we splurged and each got a small cake doughnut.

As soon as we got home, he headed to his bed, and I am sitting here waiting for him to get up so I can fix supper

About these ads

44 thoughts on “Anything Else?

  1. Oh, Terry! I’m sorry you didn’t get the truly deserved day off. And I am so sad your camera is broken! I had to pawn mine this last week, and I know how you feel. It makes me feel even poorer than I really am. I pray God gives you an even better one. He knows what sacrifices you go through daily, and I’m thinking He is very happy to bless you. What’s replacing a camera for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, right? I hope Al will understand all that you have done for him. :-)

    • Oh bless you my sweet friend………………….Yes, I would have been crying from pawning the camera. This reminds me of when I was in a half in and half out marriage. We were so broke and we needed money so bad, that he convinced me to pawn a couple of diamond rings I had at the time. Each year at Christmas he would buy me a diamond ring. Well wanting the marriage to work so bad and needing the rent paid, I pawned alright, but they give so little that I had to pawn more than two, and he promised me he would get them out of pawn next pay day he had. I trusted and the next day he walked out…………………..I have never forgiven him and have learned not to trust men as easily as I once did.
      Yes, this camera can be placed but I will have to save once again. Thank you for caring my friend……………

      • I hate pawning things because I never really know if I will ever be able to get them out. Luckily, I only borrowed a little money on it, and plan to get it out Thursday. I use it for my job, so I MUST get it out….I’m so sorry about your rings. Some men don’t get how badly things like this hurt us!!!

  2. I still cannot believe that your son doesn’t see you struggling with Al and his chair or scooter…It sounded like it would have been a great time if the time had been right…
    Even looking at the Halloween things seemed fun though…So sorry about the camera…I was on the other end one time…At my future daughter-in-laws graduation from
    college with her parents…I dropped their camera…and I’m sure it was expensive…The look on their faces was enough for me…although they tried to be nice about it…I felt aweful!

    • yes, i think they felt bad, my son has said more about it than her. I think she feels ashamed and she should not, it was an accident, but still,,,,i will get a new one, as I can not live without my buddy

    • i will have another soon, i promise myself, my camera is my shadow of my soul…………..i am tired tonight Diane. It was a big day, and tomorrow is back to nurses and therapists, so just enjoying my evening doing nothing, and hopefully bed sooner than later……………..

      • it’s strange that they would see how you are both struggling and not even offer help, if i were a stranger and saw it i would offer. he didn’t even help Al in the mens room?

      • at first we were all waiting for a table, then Al had to use the restroom, so when our name was called, i told them to go ahead, never thinking it would take so long, but no he did not come back. i was about to go in myself, so i m thankful i heard his voice

  3. I’m so sorry about the camera, Terry. And about you not really getting enough help when you go out with family. But . ..you are a nice sister, indeed! And mom! :)
    The other night my special needs one says she has to do a #4. ! She was so serious, I didn’t say anything. Later I explained about about #1 and #2 and we laughed, deciding a #4 is when you have to hold it a long time.
    love and prayers for your Monday! And the rest of your night!

    • thank you Debbie and that was just the cutest story about the number 4. Al doesn’t understand the need for privacy and public, and it continues to get worse with his PD and dementia!

    • yeah, my heart sunk with the camera deal, it truly was my best friend, but we did get some laughs yesterday and the toilet episode, later last night when i was thinking about it, it then cracked me up~~~

  4. Gosh what a whirlwind of a story. It started brilliantly and I loved, just LOVED the story about the toilet! You should publish that in a magazine!

    But then it got harder and, yes, I agree with the others that your son’s behaviour was, at least, unfortunate. I think we forget that our children, even when adults, revert to a kind of child like attitude when they are with us. It is difficult to understand but I think he was just scared by the situation.

    Then the camera. Oh bless your heart what I horrible thing to have happen. I would have been absolutely FURIOUS so you showed so much more grace than I ever would. My hope is that, after some time, you can look back on this post of yours and in reading it again, re-feel the fun you had as the bad bits will have faded into the background.

    Bless you Terry!

  5. Okay time for a little more tough love this time on your son, i think you need to actually get him on his own and have a frank talk about why he stood watching you struggle, okay maybe he was scared but the right response would have been to ask you ‘what can I do’ if he is scared or worried about doing things wrong then you need to show him how to do things, what if you are ill or pull a muscle and really need help? If you teach him now then he will have the skills he needs should they ever be required and maybe if he realises just how tough it is he might just have a bit more respect for his mum than to stand and watch her struggle and wait to be asked for help

    • you are so right. i have asked him different times questions that have to do with Al, but he always has reasons of his own, that do not run true with my reasoning. i think he is afraid or nervous, but i wish things were different. i agree with all u say

  6. Happy over you good day in overall … and sad over your camera – to fix it will cost more than buy a new one and you will get no warranty on the repairs. Specially if it has gone into some pieces. Really sad, because I where expecting some shots here … when I start reading .. but shit happens – feel sorry for your daughter in law. Anyhow the most important thing is that you all had a great day. Camera is just a dead thing … and there is cheap good ones on Ebay.com – I bought mine there for 55% cheaper then in the shops. Never had a problem with it even if it was refurbished bought from Canon’s shop on ebay.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s