I Didn’t Understand, So You Taught Me Another Way


Day 46: Inspired by Joyce Meyer

I can’t make sense out of this. I am sitting here in awe, trying to remember everything that Joyce Meyers is saying right now. I was channel surfing and came upon Joyce Meyers. I  usually watch it at 10pm, but right here it is in the afternoon.

I believe it is for me today. God wanted me to  hear it plain and clear. I am just over whelmed. No other words for it than this. The topic is on fear. I am a fearful person. Fearful of disappointing Al, God, my kids, friends, myself, you name it I am fearful, but my term for it has always been insecure.

I am not sure if they are one and the same meanings or not, but in this topic it is talking about people using you, and how you, me, let it happen. She says that I let it happen for fear of rejection, loss of friendship, family relationships etc.

I am listening to this intently, because every word, I  understand so clear. God, did you want me to watch this because you knew in my simple mind, I would make the connection?

I do things for people because I am afraid if I don’t they will leave my life. I let others run me over with a Mack truck, in fear of rejection. I think what got me though, right in the heart, was when she said, people who you let run you, never respect you.

I believe there is a difference in helping people who need it, or trying to be patient as someone tries to climb back up from the bottom. What I am talking about is when people use me over and over and I never stop it!

I am a middle-aged woman, and I should be standing more fearless, knowing God is behind me, beside me, and inside me. The holidays have stressed me out, and they are not even here yet. I worry why I don’t hear from my kids, and I realize they know how to pick up a phone, write an email. If they want to know how I am , they can figure out how to do it.

I am realizing that I am here to watch over and out for my brother, but I am not his keeper. I can not make him better, I can not wish away his illness, and most certainly, I can not let his illness take me down, so that I may take months to rise once again.

I have been ridiculed because I spend so much time on the internet, and now I am thinking, so, what is wrong with this? My house is clean, Al is being taken care of, bills are paid, so what is wrong If I blog more than others. If you don’t want to read my blogs, I know you know how to pass it by, just click DELETE!

Today, I have went back and forth in my mind because I did not feel like getting out of my comfy house coat and getting dressed. It is not proper, but who cares? If you stop by unexpectedly, will I not welcome you in and be my friendly self?

Wow, I don’t want to get all uppity and a know it all, but I am realizing that God wants me to be me for him and myself, not for everyone else. I am who I am. Thank you God for making me different! Thank you for giving me permission to do for me, sometimes, and not being ashamed. Thank you for leading me to this show today, because you have been trying to tell me, and I was not seeing or understanding, and you knew that I would get it, by watching at this precise moment.

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35 thoughts on “I Didn’t Understand, So You Taught Me Another Way

  1. Terry, you are doing more than most; don’t worry about what other people think. You are not alone in dealing with fear; we all have it at some point or another. God bless you dear.

    • Hi there my friend. So nice of you to stop by for a light chat!!!! Have missed you but know how busy you are. I have always been one of fear, but I needed that wake up call, and it is nice to finally let it sink in that I can be me, and not worry so much!!!!!

  2. This is the scripture I live by, but at times when fear tries to grip me, I do it afraid. But this scripture is so powerful, I just give it to God and do it. “God has not given me a spirit of tear, but one of power, love and a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7.

  3. Yay! I just love it when this happens and I’m so glad that it happened to you today! :) Blog away, Terry, and in your housecoat too, if you want! You are a blessing!

    • today has not been bad. i have been busy doing the normal things, cleaning, laundry and paying those first of the month bills. Al fell last night, so he is pretty quiet today.
      How are you Brian!!! What are your plans for this weekend? Here it is to be sunny and 48 most of the weekend

  4. Terry, I know it’s easier said than done, but God’s opinion of you is the only one that counts. And I believe he’s really proud of you. :) I am a 3 year breast cancer survivor, and I figure, if I could get through that, then I can do anything – and that includes feeling free to be my own person whom God created. I was so surprised to find in my cancer experience that people actually scolded me for choosing to not wear a wig or fake breasts. (I’ve done stories on that on sunshinefactor.wordpress.com and debbieloeselstanton.wordpress.com) Unbelievable! And it’s so mean when people tell you that you’re blogging too much. Don’t listen to them for a minute, we love what you say. I feel like I’ve met a new friend in you today! Sincerely,
    Debb

    • Hi Debb, so nice to meet you. Congratulations on the three years!!!! That is awesome!!!!
      People mean well when they speak, for the most parts, lol, but in the end, you are right, how we look to God and what he thinks of us is all that matters. I guess I always thought family would always be the one who watched your back, and were there when needing comfort. This is what my mom always told me, if you don’t have your family, you have no one. In today’s world, it is too busy, too full of greed, and too much about the, me syndrome. It is sad, the more God is taken out of the world, the worse the world and all in it become. But then again, this is supposed to happen isn’t it?
      Blogging is my outlet, and even when Al is placed or gone, and I go back to work, I hope that I never let my heart stray away from blogging, maybe not as much, lol, but never let it go away for good.
      Thank you for stopping by and chatting with me. It means the world to me.

  5. God I so know what you mean. I got an unexpected phone call today but it was exactly what I needed to hear from someone I trust anf care about. It was an unexpected message, delivered in a way that makes sense to me. I hope it gets easier for you. End of the day, we are the one’s living our lives, no one else so you know best in your own heart what is good for you and what gives you peace. God Bless!

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