I can not do what I have done in the past in following the rules for this award, but nor can I pretend not to be excited, for receiving this award from Bird.
Bird was the first one to read my blog this past March when I began to write. She was the first reader, the first comment, she gave me my first award, and although she is going through some drama, she always remains a follower to me yet today.
Why don’t you go over to her page and get to know her. You won’t regret it. You can find her at,http://birdmartin.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/blog-of-the-year-2012/#comment-10474
Bird, I want to take this moment to thank you for giving me confidence, to help me stand strong, and to remind me to lean on no one but God when days are filled with sadness. I love ya Bird!!!!!!
This one is sort of hard for me, because first I had to look back at the last time I had the
fight or flight mood happen. As I was going back in memory lane, it came to me. It was about a year and a half ago.
I hesitated to write about this, because it was a sensitive topic, and the person involved still can trigger emotions in me yet today.
The topic is something that I rarely speak about out loud, as if it will curse me. You know what I mean. You start saying something negative about your car, and boom, it happens, what you talked about running so good, or having no problems, all of a sudden, it happens!
I have a wonderful brother, who by now you all know, but Al and I also have a step-sister. A woman ten years younger than myself. I can remember a time when we were pretty close. It was the baby sister looking up to the big sister, wanting to be just like her, but things changed. Life changed, our father passed away. All three of us kids had the same father.
When dad passed a way, it was the worst time in my life, the worst tragedy that I have ever lived. It was worse than my divorce, or being more poor than I am now. There was a will, and that is when all hell broke loose.
Our father knew us well, he knew each of us and how we handled monies, and therefore, he made arrangements for each to have certain things at different times in our lives.
Dad was smart, I must say, he knew Al would always need extra help. Help with living arrangements, medical, and survival. Dad never knew that I took care of Al of course, but I guess that is hindsight, the real point here is that dad made sure Al would be alright if anything happened to him, dad.
Our sister wanted more than what she received, and so as a lot of people do, they attack the weakest, which in this case was Al, with his mentality. One day I went to the mail box, and there was that certain white, big envelope. The kind that sort of makes your stomach rumble as it doesn’t look like an ad or a bill.
I took it inside and opened it and learned that our sister was taking me to court to switch Al from my care to hers. I instantly got hot inside. I was too scared to cry, and I did not go immediately to God with my problem.
I sweated for the better part of these two weeks before the court date. Al and I cried a lot, for fear of being separated from each other. I think I bit my nails down to the quick, and I lost some weight also.
One day a few days before the court date, a friend reminded me to go to the Lord with this. He was the miracle worker, he was the one that saw things for what they truly were, and he knew what was right from wrong.
I got on my knees and prayed. I can still remember it so well. Al got on his knees also, and we held hands, he cried and I prayed, and when we were finished, I felt so much calmer. I had come to a realm of new realization. I had nothing to fear. I knew that I was doing the best I could with Al’s care.
The day came, and my stomach started to churn. I sat in the front of the court room on my designated seat. Before, the judge walked in, I silently prayed again, for God to use my mouth to form the correct words. Please Lord, do not let me make a fool of myself from my nerves. Help me to look calm and confident.
The judge entered and the questions started coming at me. One, two, three, four, five, and finally it was over. I made my last statement, and my voice never quivered. As soon as I was finished, the judge looked back at my brother, who was sitting in the background, and he asked him to stand up. Al stood up and the judge asked him if he had anything he wanted to say.
My brother started crying very hard, and somewhere in between the cries and the silence of the room, the judge and I, and all others involved heard my brother say,
Please don’t take me a way from my sister. I love living with her. I love her. We go places and she takes me out to eat and takes me to the Goodwill stores to buy coca-cola. I don’t want to live with the other sister.
I think when I looked or stared into the judges eyes as Al spoke, I could swear a saw one shiny tear fall from his eye. The judge coughed and cleared his throat, and looked back at me and said,
This case is a waste of my valuable time. There is nothing here to judge, as I can see Al is very well taken care of and is happy where he is living. Case is dismissed.
I said, I don’t know how many thank-you’s to the judge, as he leaned from his pulpit and reached down and shook my hand. He said for me to continue the good job. I walked quickly over to Al, and he was still crying. With his mentality problems, he didn’t comprehend what was happening, so I just said,
Hey bud, you ready to go get something to eat and go home?
He looked at me and asked,
You mean home with you? and I said yes!
I got the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life taking care of him. He got it! He understood, we had won, and she had lost. He grabbed his hat and waved at the people in the courtroom, telling them goodbye, and we took off to go celebrate.
What a wonderful God we have walking beside us. Some of you can sit and say, I may have won without asking for God’s help, but really, why would I want to take such a big risk of losing and counting on my own nervous self? No way, I wanted God on my side as judge and jury.
- Daily Prompt: Fight or Flight (burningfireshutinmybones.wordpress.com)
- (Inspired by) Cold Blood (angieinspired.wordpress.com)
- Fight or Flight, the Daily Prompt (keiththegreen.wordpress.com)
- Good Bye Grandma (randomnerves.wordpress.com)
- A Fall Without A Stumble (alittlebananas.com)
Granny, over at:http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com/ has nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger Award!
Granny is a wonderful person! I am so happy that we have crossed paths here at the blogging world.
Here is an excerpt from a page at her web address.
I am married to my best friend, hero and soulmate… Skip. We have 2 Pups named Sweet Chadwick Elsworth and Kissy Fairchild.
We lost our son, Tommy, who was a very important part of our world. He collapsed at the beach (Myrtle Beach, S.C.) playing with his little son, Taban, something he wanted to do. He died there with little Taban near him. Tommy had 2 blockages in his heart that no one was aware of.
Please feel free to stop over and visit with her.
Thank you so much Granny for this wonderful award!!!
I went to see Al today. I arrived during his lunch time, so I sat with him while he ate. No one said anything, but it was hard not to notice, that half of his food was on the outside of his mouth. It seemed like the tremors and the aim of judgement was off a little. He did feel it though and wiped his face off.
He was talking to his lunch mate and he was in a pretty good mood. He had eaten quite a bit in my opinion, but a strange combination also. He had the meatballs from spaghetti, no spaghetti, probably because of choking. He also had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, plus a grilled cheese sandwich and vanilla ice-cream, chocolate milk, white milk, and water. Wow, what a big lunch, and believe me, he ate every bite, and even wiped up the crumbs!
He told me again the story about how he can not go have therapy again, but he did wander into the therapy room this morning, and the therapist said that he could come in and visit anytime he wished. I thought I better check to make sure this was alright, and so I popped my head in and talked to them about what Al had said, and they said yes, he can come in anytime, because his legs are swollen.
They want him to keep his legs up in his recliner, and the nursing staff wants him to walk as much as possible. How do we make both departments happy? I don’t know and hope that they get it worked out.
His heart is being affected, so this is the reason for the swelling, and if you keep your legs down too much, they will swell even more. Al felt better knowing he could go in for help, and so I saw a few more smiles than the day before, which I am trying to forget.
He is going to play bingo tonight and he was looking forward to winning more snacks. He found out that the facility bus takes certain patients out to Wal-Mart once a month, so he is hoping he is going to be able to go the next time the trip is offered.
All in all, it was a good visit. No tears, more chatter. Even with the seriousness of the leg swelling, I was able to put that on the back burner. Some things we can not change.
- Fried Mozzarella Grilled Cheese Sandwich Recipe (dinosdiscoveries.com)
- Mini Grilled Cheese Sandwich Recipe (formulamom.com)
- Spicy Nacho Grilled Cheese Sandwich Recipe (dinosdiscoveries.com)
- Pesto Grilled Cheese Sandwich Recipe (dinosdiscoveries.com)
- Turkey and Cranberry Cheeseboy grilled cheese sandwich. Love it! (offonatangent.blogspot.com)