A Night To Forget and Remember


Why is it almost every single time, my heart is squeezed when I leave Al at the facility. I tell him I love him, and my eyes instantly start to water. I hate the gut wrenching pain I carry with me as I exit the building.

Tonight was no better. The facility had a Christmas party for everyone. I arrived to see a sad man. He pulled out a card he had received in the mail today and then started to cry. Then he started swearing. I thought, wow, who could have sent him a card that would make him this upset? I had already done the dirty work Al had asked of me. I had told the people that they should leave him alone, so what is this all about?

He gave me the card and I opened it. I will be full of crap and shoved in it! It was from the aunt who causes Al so much grief. Although it was signed in our loving grandmother’s handwriting, the card was sent from the aunt. I hate to blame anyone for anything, but this woman ruined Al’s day and party. I just wish she would butt out! If you are out there, and you or one of your friend are reading this, please leave him alone!!You are making him suffer even worse than the PD!!

I did convince him to go to the party. I told him all of his friends would be there. He did go. We sat with some of his friends and I had the opportunity to meet some lovely people, that new our mother when she was growing up.

The song leader  lead a chorus of Christmas carols and then there were foods to be nibbled on and Santa even delivered each of the residents a gift. Al didn’t want to open his because he was just not in a jolly mood, so he had me open it and then I had him take it out of the package. He asked me to bring it home, which I did. It was a nice fuzzy blanket throw.

After the party was over, Al got up to leave the table and his legs froze right there on the spot. I think he was humiliated and he started to cry all over again. My poor brother, I love him so much. I just wish anything or anyone that would cause sadness in his life would just disappear. I wish I could fix everything. I wish I could blink a way the nasty Parkinson’s Disease. I wish we could go back to six years ago, when all was fine.

I did my best to look cheery, and talk about nothing important. I did get these photos. I am thankful to the lady who took Al and my picture together. I wish I would have taken off my coat though. I look fifty pounds heavier in it!!! LOL

al and meAlchristmas partychristmas party 2

 

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27 thoughts on “A Night To Forget and Remember

  1. You should take lots of pictures of the two of you together. I’m sure there is always someone around who would be happy to do that. And then you can print out a bunch, and put them around in Al’s room. I’ll bet he would like that!

  2. I loved that photo of you and Al! So much seems bitter sweet . .and the aunt again. argh! God bless you as you are such a bright spot in so many lives . ..mine included!

  3. Terry, unfortunately there are always people, even in our families who aren’t happy unless they make others miserable. I have one daughter who does this every single Christmas…usually starting around Thanksgiving, and up until the New Year. She plays one sister against the others, and then does her best to turn it all on me. She had Jklyn in tears last week. In those times…I thank God that the 4 other girls and my stepson try their best to get along, and encourage each other when this one daughter starts in. It has become a saying when she starts in…”Well, it’s Christmas time officially because she has started up again. You might want to let the facility director know that it might be best not to give mail from this relative to Al, and instead give it to you first to protect him from the emotional upheaval she causes him. This would allow you to monitor what she does to him, and allow him to spend his days in peace.

    • I agree Bonita. I can say that I do not understand why anyone would want a terminally ill patient to suffer more than they already are. It is just beyond me. If they want attention, go somewhere else. volunteer at an animal shelter or read to the blind at the library, something besides pick on those who can’t fight for themselves

      • They do it out of pure selfishness. They are miserable with their own lives and making others feel that way seems to make them feel more powerful than they really are. Misery loves company…problem is they are bullies who look for that person that can’t put them in their place to give them the power they need to make them feel better about themselves. Problem is…it never will make them feel better and so they will attack even more people. The best we can do is protect the people they choose to bully…people like Al.

  4. I swear, every time that trifling heifer does something like that to Al it just makes me want to fly to the USA with no other purpose than to go to her house and snatch her bald-headed! In the time I’ve been following your blog, you and Al have come to mean so much to me. Poor Al, suffering from Parkinson’s and all that goes with it and you as the primary care-giver have both staked a claim in my heart. I’m so sad that Al’s postcards never made it. I had even added a separate card just for you. I can’t imagine who in the postal service decided it wasn’t worth delivering to you. I am sending your gorgeous self and your beautiful brother sincerest good wishes from the Holy Land! Merry Christmas!

    • I don’t know what happened Jim. They just never arrived. We don’t get hardly any Christmas cards, so I would have spied it instantly. I know that you care and I accept the warm wishes. Your words here are better than any card!!!!!! Hugs to you from Al and me. You could definitely put that woman in her place for me!!!! LOL

  5. Great photo of Al and you, I quite like you with the coat on.
    The card – was that from the woman that didn’t want to have anything to do with Al and you ???
    Just ignore … and pretend the card never arrived.

      • Good … leave it that now – she did her choice earlier. She had her chance. Terry, in all honesty I don’t know how people are thinking. Maybe she regret her behavior, but then she could had phoned. Al did the right thing.

      • I think so too. If only in these past few years, these same people would in some small way showed their interest in Al, things could be different in Al’s mind

    • I don’t understand people’s ways. I know my parents brought me up to respect each other, and this is the way I try to live. If someone told me they felt uncomfortable around me, I may try to make it right once, but I would not keep barging forth

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