Lies Can Be Beneficial

I was reading a blog post from my friend Julie. (

She blogged today about how she has come to the point where she has to lie to her husband, Ants, to save him confusion. Ants suffers from Parkinson’s Disease and Dementia.

I related to that easily. I used to have to lie to my brother, Al also. I hated it, I really did. All those seven years I took care of him while he suffered the effects of M.S.A. (Multiple System Atrophy) I never lied to him.

I waited until he was nearing the last two weeks of his life and then I began the lying process. Al fought going to heaven. It isn’t as if I decided he was going to heaven, or I was punishing him in any way because he wouldn’t pass into heaven.

Actually the only one who felt punished was myself. Doctors, ministers, and deep within Al and myself; we all knew his time was counted in hours. It may be five months since Al went to see Jesus; but believe me, it is like it was yesterday.

Al was worried about leaving me and his personal items. He fought through each day. He suffered from infections, holes in his ear and shoulder, high fevers, to remain here in his bedroom and with me by his side.

I began to tell him he could take everything he wanted to heaven with him. He had me get a piece of paper and a pen and he instructed me through mumbling of words what he wanted to leave me after he passed.

I explained that he was being very kind, but if he chose to change his mind, he could. Although Al could not write any longer, he insisted he sign his name to that piece of paper. With my help of placing the pen in his hand, and guiding gently, he made some marks on that paper. I knew after we completed his wishes, he did feel better. I still have that special signature yet today.

There came a point where the ministers had tried to encourage Al about how wonderful heaven was, but Al wouldn’t budge. One day the two of them told me to say anything to him that he may understand, so that he could be healed.

My heart stung, and the words tasted bitter on my tongue as I explained what finally Al understood and he felt comfortable enough to leave the sick body and go to heaven. If you remember or if you have never read my blogs, my brother was mentally challenged. I told Al, ” it will be like when we took your car to the shop to get its oil changed. You are going to do that too. You will leave, get a new body and then come back.”

I cried during those few words. It killed me knowing I was lying, but the reward was Al understood. I can remember clear as day his words to my statement. Is that all? That sounds pretty easy.

Within 24 hours, he passed. Oh how I miss him yet today. I realize two things. I.  I am not a good liar. My escape from being a liar is usually not to comment when placed in a position I may have to say something untrue. 2. Sometimes lies are beneficial. I know that in my brother’s case, it was suffering versus healing.Al and Rhino, Nov 1


I Am So Pissed Off




What in the world is wrong with this world? I am so freakin pissed off. I don’t usually get this way, but for heaven’s sake, there is a family somewhere out there that, that boy belongs to.

Would I want that to be my last visions if that was my child, laying in the street, uncovered, for all eyes to gawk at? I wasn’t there but the report says the kid tried to still cigars and roughed-up a store owner. I admit that is wrong, but should he be gunned down, when he had no weapons  on him? Should he be gunned down when he tried to give himself up? He was shot, still managed to stand once again, and shot to death, and then had to lay there all to bare.

I am sorry, but how many times is a human being going to be  shot by a police person who tries to surrender. I am so glad I am the age I am. I don’t want to see how much more wicked and cruel this earth can become.

By the way, what took so long for the EMS to arrive? Long enough for a large gathering to appear. Long enough to video the entire scene. I can hear the people screaming in the background, and I am not sure if I was there, I wouldn’t be screaming the same words.

God help us all. Satan is surely alive.

How do you fight Depession?


very interesting post

Originally posted on Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey:

Since Robin Williams suicide I have seen many articles,fb posts and blogs about suicide and depression.  The truth is unless one had been there so hard to understand why anyone would commit suicide.  But you don’t just wake up one day and go, Hey I think I’ll off myself today.

Before suicide is depression and swimming in the dark abyss.  Are we doomed,those of us who struggle with depression? I hope not.  I don’ t think there is any one way to deal with depression.  I think those of us who suffer from it must have an arsenal of tools available to us.

My wordpress friend, the pink agendist wrote this great blog on depression.  I found it to be very helpful and with his permission I have duplicated it here since his blog is currently set to private.

His advice is practical and logical.  Enjoy.

How do you fight depression?

View original 844 more words

Is Working Hard Worth It?

I don’t know about you, but I hear often about the people who live in the world who are hungry, have water that is unclean, or have little or no money. Is it happening everywhere, but in your neighborhood or is it happening next door?

I can think of a couple of people who I know that life could be much better who live near me. The circumstances are different but I believe the suffering is all the same. The first instance is a lovely lady who was once married, now divorced. She lives in a beautiful home and was rewarded the home through the divorce papers.

Is it a reward or can it be a burden? Is it a reward when the struggles become too  deep to keep the payments going? It has to be difficult to lie down at nights only to have these worrisome thoughts about losing not only the one you love but maybe the house you have become familiar with and have many ties with.

Always thinking up new ideas to gain a little money to keep all bills going. I guess a lot of it would depend on how much I loved that property compared to how much turmoil I wanted to place myself in. For others it may be a fight to win, to not have to give up or give in to someone who doesn’t give a shit whether I have my home or not.

Not being able to go to the grocery store and get the food needed or maybe having to seek aid for things needed. It is sad to me, that even with college degrees and all the work people can find, there is still risk of losing one’s home.

The other person I know is a sweet and lovable one. Also having to count pennies. Being retired and always having worked hard at a white-collar job, realizing now that all that hard work just doesn’t pay off real well as the economics are out of balance.

The government helps but not before you are on poverty street. People will not get help until they have less than fifteen hundred dollars to their name. This low amount of money allowed to keep is nothing to dance around about.

In today’s times fifteen hundred dollars is nothing. I know that sounds cold, but look at the prices of rental properties. In less than two months your money could be wiped out over having a place to meet.

Oh yes, you can get help from different programs, but the amount allotted is considered nothing above the poverty level. Somewhere the idea got lost that we, the people, have paid in our entire adult life, so shouldn’t we have a fair compensation when we grow to the point of retirement?

To realize there is little or zero work at that age and to receive a monthly check makes me sick to my stomach when you think about the years of hard labor and then you have to be even more cautious as you feel the pricking of aches and pains and the golden years.

Vehicle trouble is or can be very costly. What if we can’t afford that? After all we only have that level of money we are allowed to keep and a pension check. Car issues can start at a level of 100.00 and rise to very high levels. How do people get around when the car doesn’t run right or at all?

Having to count on a ride when we have been self-sufficient for so many adult years is embarrassing and humiliating. Maybe walking is too painful or the weather isn’t cooperating to get out. So many circumstances in our world, and so few ways to make life what it once was.

I am heading in that direction one day also. I am not married, I have no partner to help out. What monies I have I may not have long. What if I also one day only receive 100.00 for food stamps because of my lack of ability to work or my age. Could I make it on that amount of money when it is so easy to spend the amount entitled to me in one week?

What do we do when we are faced with life decisions like that? I have to say it is scary to me. The Lord will help me but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to have to worry each night I lay my head down to rest, about what am I going to eat the next day. Or how am I going to get to the grocery store, who can I bother to ask for a ride, or will I have a place to call my own.

Life is not as it used to be. We worked hard, we were able to save a few dollars back. Retirement was easier to work for and achieve. Pensions were better. Savings programs were options through your paycheck, but not now. Now we scrape by, working harder than ever, sometimes doing the job of two people for less benefits and money.

I don’t really feel any better writing this post as I realize I am also unable to help those around me that are suffering. I feel that the three classes of people are no longer there. The poverty, middle class and the wealthy. Now we have more poverty and the wealthy.

We are born, we live, we work and try to play and then we rest, but does  true rest  really come? Is there still the slogan called The Golden Years? I don’t think so unless you are very lucky. I think there will be even more suffering through the years to come.




Old Blue that was his name

The best damn dog I ever had

It almost seemed he could read my mind

He was always good, and never bad.


I found him on the back porch

He looked so thin and cold

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him

So I picked him up to hold.


He couldn’t have been no bigger

Than my two hands held together

His tail showed a little life

And I knew he would be mine forever.


I raised him all those days from there

Even taught him a trick or two

He was always by my side

The two of us were stuck like glue.


Then one day  I got old it seemed

And Blue he even got older

When  I went to give him his breakfast

He didn’t move and his skin was colder.


I  lost my best friend that day

Now I had no reason to live

Old Blue had kept me company

He had so much love to give.


I sit here with tears in my eyes

As I look out over the grounds

I sure do miss that dog I admit

Miss seeing him run around.


Lord you brought me a friend

And now you took him away

Do you think my day will come

When he and I can play?


I rock in my worn out rocker

And I look up to the skies

I thought I heard a familiar bark

Then I wipe the tears from my eyes.


Written by,

Terry Shepherd






Today I am

The youngest

I will ever be

Another minute

Hour gone

Dusk sits in

Replacing light

Softness fall

All around

And I listen

To the quiet

And I ponder

On tomorrow

Wondering what

Is in store

As I look forward

To being the youngest

One more time.




aug 4

Mystery of the Blondes, Part 2

” You, you killed him didn’t you? Why would you do that to John? What did he ever do to you?” Veronica slammed the door behind her and walked over to Veronica. ” I am tired of getting shit on honey. I give all I have to that man and every time I turn around he has a new woman. You must be the new woman. Well I am not going to take it anymore. I didn’t kill him though, although the idea had crossed my mind several times, but I think I know who did.”

Stella backed up a little. The hot, liquor breath was just a little too close. Veronica let out a wicked laugh. She knew she had her right where she wanted her. ” I am not the other woman. I barely know this man. In fact, I believe from our conversation that I am here on an interview for an assistant job, so you got it all wrong Veronica.”

” Bull shit, you come in here smelling like a whore with your cheap perfume. Your blouse half undone showing what you don’t have. What kind of position did you think you were applying for, bed partner? Besides, I have known John way too long. He don’t advertise, and he sure in the hell ain’t looking to hire no dame like you.”

Stella backed up until there was no more space to back into. Veronica put her hand in her purse and started to pull something out. ” No, Veronica, don’t shoot me, I swear I am an innocent victim here, don’t shoot.”

Veronica laughed a deep and husky laugh. Boy was this broad stupid. ” I wasn’t going to shoot you. Hell I don’t even own a gun. I was just grabbing my lipstick. I figured we are in the bathroom so I may as well do a touch-up job.” She continued to walk towards the mirror and applied her lipstick.

Straightening her hair and tugging at her blouse to smooth it out and show a little more cleavage she turned and walked out of the bathroom saying nothing. She sat down on the edge of the bed and hiked one leg up, posing in a provocative way.

Stella couldn’t help but notice the long slender leg showing and her eyes followed up the leg as far as was allowed. Veronica lit a long cigarette and took a puff off of it. She watched the circle of smoke while keeping an eye on Stella. Silence rang loud throughout the room as she smoked.

She squished the butt out in the ash tray and with a kitten voice said, ” Like what you see honey? Come on over here and sit by your new friend.” She patted the bed and Stella not knowing why her legs were moving, walked towards the bed and sat down.

” Ever been with a real woman doll? I saw you looking. I could feel your eyes burning with desire at what is under the skirt.” Veronica took Stella’s hand and placed it on her leg. She guided it up and down letting Stella feel the softness of her skin.

She laid down on her back and pulled Stella next to her. ” Kiss me honey. My mouth is wanting a taste of you.” ” No, I couldn’t, I am not that type.” Veronica pulled Stella closer to her. Their breasts touching, their lips begging for release. Veronica forced her mouth open and tasted the juices Stella had to offer.

She cupped one of Stella’s breast and with a groan that Stella didn’t know where was coming from, the two begin to probe each others bodies. Stella didn’t like it that her body was giving into this, that she actually was enjoying and wanted more.

The two stripped off their clothes and began to handle each other rough. Murmurs, moans and heavy breathing could be heard all around the room. The two were going at it hot and heavy when the door flew open and two gun shots went off.

Stella sunk over Veronica’s body. Veronica’s eyes had a look of pure terror in them. The two bullets had finished this little game. The killer walked over and stood staring down at them.

What a pure waste of flesh. I would have loved to get in on this scene, but that son of a bitch John owed me money. He had been slipping out the back door for years and now he won’t be slipping out any anywhere. I can’t have my money, and John can’t have his candy.

The cop covered the bodies up with the bed sheets. He went into the bathroom and took off his disposable gloves and flushed them down the john. Walking back to the front door he quickly glanced around the room making sure he had left no traces of him being here. Satisfied, he walked out the door and closed it softly behind him, thinking, paybacks are hell kiddos.


Book Signing

I am so excited, I just had to share with you, my friends. In my city, once a month there is a function that  happens called First Friday. Sometimes I go, when Al was here we went every month.

There was an ad in the local newspaper today. They were looking for local authors to set-up and sell and sign books they had published. I checked into it and was told they would love to have me be a part of it.

On September 5th, you will see me sitting under a tent with some of my books all ready to sell and sign. Yippee!!!!!

For God’s Sake, Where’s The Truth; or is this Fake?




By Jim Fetzer (with Sofia Smallstorm and Paul Preston)


“I have a lot of sources in regards to as to what’s going on with the president and the administration and so on, and every one of my sources said it was a false flag”--Paul Preston


Sofia Smallstorm, who produced and directed the documentary, “Unraveling Sandy Hook”, which many regard as the best video study of the Sandy Hook event, recently interviewed a Los Angeles school expert, Paul Preston, about Sandy Hook and his knowledge of what had transpired.




Governor Malloy had held a press conference that day, explaining that he and the Lt. Governor had been “spoken to” that something like this might happen, which raised the question, what “something like this”? Did he mean he had been told a school shooting massacre would take place? or a drill that would be presented as a real event?


Remarkably, we now have confirmation from an unexpected source. Paul Preston had obtained information from officials in the U.S. Department of Education of the Barack Obama administration, who confirmed to him on the basis of their own personal knowledge that:


1) it had been a drill;


(2) no children had been killed; and,


(3) it had been done to promote an anti-gun agenda.


Given his background of 41 years in the California public school system (from custodian to district superintendent) and having served as a teacher, coach, vice-principal and principal before retiring in 2012 as the superintendent of two charter schools, I thought what he had to say about Sandy Hook deserved widespread dissemination.


So when did a two-hour show on Revolution Radio, “False Flags (9/11, Sandy Hook and the Boston bombing)” on 30 May 2014, as the third segment, I included the second 30-minutes of Sofia’s interview with Paul Preston, which is archived on “The Real Deal” and can be heard here.


Because Preston is also highly trained in school safety issues and had himself organized drills of many kinds, including active-shooter drills, what he has to say is especially telling. He has a website of his own at, which he created to alert listeners to the perils of Agenda 21.





Transcript of 30-minute clip of Sofia Smallstorm interviewing Paul Preston


Transcription by Jeannon


S  =  Sofia Smallstrom


P = Paul Preston


S – Welcome back everyone to the Speed of Light on the Pure Momentum Network. This is Sofia Smallstorm and we’re listening to a very interesting discussion – Paul Preston, school principal, school safety consultant, teacher, coach, and superintendent. He has been in the California system for 41 years.  He is now retired.


So Paul, let’s continue. Can we get a little bit into Sandy Hook now and what set off your antenna about it?


P – Well, you know I’ve been involved in many many situations at schools that have been, you know, emergency type situations and was involved even to some degree with the Columbine situation in that we had an individual who as trying to blow up the school, our school, at the time. In a similar fashion to what was a predicted bomb threat that occurred at Columbine thee days before the Columbine shooting, and that’s how we kind of got in touch with the Columbine people. They got in touch with us because it turned out to be a similar neo-Nazi group that was related to the Trench Coat Mafia, of all people.


And so learning and watching ad seeing all these incidences play out, all these school shootings, I took an enormous interest in because we were doing a study trying to determine because the neo-Nazis we had been working with in our school along the same time of the Columbine incident were telling us that there was going to be some big event take place. And so our staff, myself, we all wanted to sit down and figure where this was all going to and we studied a lot of the Nazi websites and so on, and we figured out that yes, something big was going to happen.


Well then Columbine happened. So we watched with a lot of intensity and under with my own circumstances and also with watching the videos and replays of the other active shooter situations, I became sort of a specialist in that and applied it to my own active-shooter training that I was doing and conducting with my own people.


S – Right. And now can we get in to Sandy Hook?


P – Well yes. Of all the hundreds of hours that I spent watching these scenarios and investigating and reporting on them on my radio show, the first thing I noticed when I heard about Sandy Hook when I turned on the TV like everybody else …now I have always told everybody when you’re seeing these things play out in real time, the best news reporting is what’s happening in real time – that day of, you know, the moments that are around the incident. But document for yourself what’s going on because you’ll never see it again.


And the first thing that caught my eye as I was watching everything play out was the lack of intensity with which people were moving and that really disturbed me. It hit me within the first few minutes, watching the video, the helicopters flying around and so on. Things just didn’t seem to be right, like I would always understand in an incident command system. People weren’t rushing around.  People weren’t panicking.  They ran that one guy off into the woods and then they arrested him. They took him away and there was no connectedness to that.


I was also wondering why all the emergency equipment wasn’t around the school. And I didn’t see any students either and that really bothered me.




S – So, it was almost like too slow motion for a real event. Not enough panic. Not enough chaos. You had mentioned chaos earlier being a part of these real situations. And a lot of support people rushing around like press and police but not running fast enough, not running with intensity and alarm and panic and concern, I think.


P – None of that was there.


S – Yes.  So all right, and then what did you start thinking?


P – Well, just within the first 10 or 15 minutes, it just all looked too staged to me, and I know about staging these things since I’ve staged a number of them. And, like I said, then you stage something there’s a complete lack of intensity as you would have in a real scenario when there’s panic really taking hold of people and they’re really afraid and they’re screaming and yelling and so on.



But the one thing that really bothered me was where were the kids. You know they had how many hundreds of kids there at the school. I didn’t see them.


S – Right.


P – And there was lack of accounting for them.


And right away – and I’ll juxtaposition this with the situation that happened in Pennsylvania. You saw the kids right away. I know it’s a high school, but you know, you saw the kids right away and you saw their plan of evacuation of the school unfolding.


Now this is where it really falls apart with Sandy Hook for me.  saw…I saw no evidence of a real plan of student evacuation taking place. And that stuck to my head like crazy when I was in the moments watching this whole thing play out in real time.


S – That’s very interesting. No evidence of a real plan. Because only someone…I mean everybody had their own response to it. Some of us were already clued in from previous kinds of situations. All this has got to be not what they’re telling us it is. But you come from the industry, the business, and you felt that there is… I would say you knew … It probably was not even a feeling. It was like, you know, set in stone in your head. Where’s the plan?  I don’t see the plan playing itself out.  Right?


P – I saw same of your evacuation centers and I saw some of your colored tarps on the ground, the colored taps and so on, but even that pretty odd because normally if you have the tarps out there…in every active shooter situation you have ever see, there’s somebody on the tarp or there’s been some help that’s been given to somebody when somebody has been wounded, but none of that was even evident. And I don’t see anybody trying to rush to anybody’s help at all in a mass casualty situation.


See, when you don’t see that…I mean…I’ll go back to the example that I have before about the 13 who overdosed. We had people everywhere, and we had people everywhere until everybody was safe, which was 35, 40 minutes, almost an hour. And that was never happening there at Sandy Hook. You didn’t see the mass of people doing that.


S – Yes, it’s more like the press filled in for that missing element. The press sounded more concerned and panicked on TV as they reported but the actual participants were not so …And got, you know, long after the fact we got the supposed 911 calls, we got various people giving their versions of it on television as they got interviewed. But we didn’t see it on the ground. And so how long did you watch it for? Over a period of days, weeks? And what were your thoughts?



P – You know, I make it a study. I study these things intensely, and what really, what really put me over the top was the next morning with Robbie Parker going out there, and I saw that clip as it happened. And I said there’s something really wrong here.


And that’s when I started thinking about the …the actors. You can actually rent these actors out. In fact that put these things up for training all the time.


And I just said ‘this is not…first of all, his demeanor was terrible. I would never go out…and I know sometimes this happens but…to send a parent out to talk to the press in that fashion about the daughter that he just lost. None of that seemed to be appropriate.  None of it seemed to fit. And his behavior with the smiling laughing thing and getting into character that you could see. I said ‘ hmmm, I’m not buying this. I’m just not buying it.’


S – Yes, I know. Very few other people did.  So, did you contact anyone? Did you speak to anyone? I don’t mean officially but in your own network of friends.


P – Yes.


S – And what were their thoughts.


P – Almost everybody was unanimous that it was a false flag.


S – And when did you start looking it up on the Internet because I think people started posting immediately. You know, they were making YouTubes. The community began to express online. So when did you start looking into all of that?


P – We–a side note to this is that I have a lot of sources in and around and in that area. I have a lot of sources in regards to as to what’s going on with the president and the administration and so on, and every one of my sources said it was a false flag.


S – Now these are quasi-official… what kind of sources are these?


P – Let me say that there are the sources that are very close to this administration who knows what’s going on.


S – Really. So they are really like almost insiders then?


P – Oh yes.


S – And they all….they say it was a false flag because they figured it out like you did, or they had actually factual knowledge of such..


P – They had factual knowledge of such. That’s part of the plan.


S – I see. And so how much were they willing to tell you, and what else were they willing to tell you? Anything?


P – Oh, they told me quite a bit, and some of it I can’t reveal to you, but it fits the narrative of the anti-gun movement and the disarmament of America and that’s what the focus was.


S – And you realized that that’s part of the broader picture? That’s the Agenda 21 society?


P – Absolutely.


S – So do you want to tell us a little but about that or do you want to stick with the Sandy Hook material? I’ll let you decide.


P – Well, let’s go ahead with the Sandy Hook material and then we can jump into that.


S – OK, so we’re past Robbie Parker now, and what about the funerals? You must have known then that …Did you have any concept about victims or no victims, et cetera?


P – Well, that whole thing was pretty shaky. What was really starting to filter in in the system and was just confirming what I was already being told about these charity sites that had been developed. By the way, they were put up the day before the shooting. And I had gotten some screen shots, and I had confirmed with my sources. Some of them were thinking that it was a very sloppy operation actually.


But there were reassurances to me that there really were no victims and that everything’s being staged.



And of course the funerals to me…you go and look at the whole funeral process. It looked like they were all staged, from the Robbie Parker one in Utah, or the Sarah Parker one with the Parker family.


And then I started getting information from people that actually had attended that funeral who lived in Utah and said that was something very funny about it.


S – Now I would like to ask you whether your sense is that these are real families even, or are they patched together?


P – Well, you know, that’s a good question because, you know, the thing that rolls around in my head, you know, the actors type of thing, you know. You know because you can put families together and these acting programs will do that under certain training scenarios.  And so, it’s a good question. It really is a fair question to ask whether or not they were real families.


S – And then of course because they continue to speak and organize and be called upon to comment, they have to be formed into these family groupings over time. And remain grouped like that whether they are truly married or not.


You know, here’s one thing that I noticed. When you see a couple, if they seem really like an odd couple, then that kind of strikes you as weird.  And I saw that. I saw a very odd coupled-ness with lots of these Sandy Hook families. It seemed to me, why would this person marry this person and live with them?  They’re so totally different. That happens sometimes but in this content it really jumped out at me…myself anyway. I didn’t know if you noticed that…


P – It’ different to say, you know, when you saw them together whether they are natural families or not. That’s…I’m suspicious of that. And like I say, I’m suspicious because I know that you can put these families together, you know, with some of these acting companies out there. And that just kind of blends in with what I was already being suspicious about.


And so, there’s a lot of things that would go into the details of examining this. And I’ve see a lot of the pictures and so on, and some of the pictures don’t match up, especially the one of the Parkers in the White House. And it looks like to me that’s Sarah Parker sitting there that’s, you know, supposed to be a victim.


S – There’s no Sarah Parker…


P – Which one is it…maybe it’s not the Parker…


S – Oh, you mean with Obama…


P – Yes, right.


S – Emily or Madeline …those are the two order sisters, and a lot of people felt that that was Emily Parker leaning on Obama.


P – Yes, that was Emily Parker…



S – Have you seen the Super Bowl video?


P – Yes, I have seen that.


S – Well, there is a girl who looks a lot like an older Emily Parker in that video. So if that was Emily at the White House, or actually  I think…I don’t know if it was at the White House…but with Obama, she couldn’t be six in one picture and then just a month or two later, twelve or thirteen.


P –  Right.


S – That’s where we have to make a decision.


But what did you think of all the photographs of the children? Did you notice anything – the portraits that we were shown that these were  the victims? Did you notice anything about those portraits?


P – No, other than some of the malformations of different parts of their bodies – seemed to be a pretty obvious thing.


The whole thing …when you take a look at the totality of this, in my opinion, it’s very sloppily done.


S – Why would it have been sloppily done though?


P – Well, you know, when …and again, it’s kind of like sometimes there’s order that comes out of chaos. And when you have these chaotic situations, people want to put things back together as best they possibly can to feel more comfortable or to recover from it. And I didn’t see any of that. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anybody.  People don’t want to have that chaos. They want to heal. They want to come back together. They want to solve a problem so that they can move forward.


And that’s part of what happens when you do these drills is that you take a day or so and you talk about what happened so that you can improve upon and make it better. People do that naturally even when there’s chaos and there’s an emergency situation because they want to seek normalcy again.


I didn’t see the same kind of emotions, if you will, or the same kind of communications between parents, kids, that you would normally see in these situations. It just didn’t look…it looked phony to me.


S – So you mean the community itself, they did not try to repair in the organic way…?


P – I would say that is true, from the parents to the kids, to the entire community.


S – What do you think of this privacy issue that has been bandied about by the authorities, that all the privacy needs to be respected, and you can’t reveal this or that…?


P – That to me just adds more fuel to the fire because that’s not what you do in the normal situation of an incident command system. You get the facts out because you know oftentimes when you get the facts out, you’re also looking for criminal behavior, and the more information that you can get out that that’s way, the better.


And I’m certainly not buying the notion that the parents weren’t allowed to see the kids.


S – The bodies, identifying the…


P – I just…that to me…that should be a red flag to anybody who has looked in to Sandy Hook. The parents weren’t allowed to do that. What’s up with that?



S – And what did you think of the coroner’s behavior at his press conference?


P – Well there’s many things about him. I just …I …first of all, I didn’t understand why all of a sudden there’s 26 bodies and then there’s no coroner or doctor who’s looked at the bodies and they’re declared dead. And then all of a sudden the coroner comes out and everybody says that there was an automatic gun or a handgun that was used, and the coroner, on his own, comes out and says ‘oh no, that was an AR15 that was used.’


So there’s a lot of confusion, you know, about that coroner, his report, his reporting out.  Nothing seems very clear and concise to me. And you know I would argue that, you know, as I looked at him and watched what was going on, he seemed to be just answering question on the fly without a lot of knowledge behind the questions.


S – And this suggested to you that this was a sloppily created event?


P – Absolutely.


S – And would you say that that was because of the portent of the whole thing that they…there were people involved in this…let’s say Dr. Carver, the coroner, who had some idea, if it was a scripted event, it was going to go big, and really big? So do you think that the sloppiness of it was because in being organized, it’s very difficult to juggle how people are going to perform given that they know how big this thing could get?


P – Well, you know, what happens is that you…if you’re going to do these things and carry it through with the lie, everybody’s got to be telling the same lie at the same time all the time.


And I think with my judgments about the parents and the kids, and seeing them lie, I was seeing a big lie being perpetrated right in front of me because nothing seemed to be consistent. And like you said, which I thought was interesting, is that oftentimes the media would fill in a lot of the blanks for you.


A classic example of the blanks comes up when you talk about where are the kids that are evacuating the school. There were helicopters that were circling overhead. They certainly would have been able to show, you know, hundreds of kids exiting the school.




That was never shown. But you did see a picture out in a parking lot, which by the way if you take a long look at this picture of all these kids being led out, about 15 or 20 kids being led out by teachers and adults from this parking lot, if you take a look at the parking lot from the aerial views, you can see that there are different cars in the parking lot in that area. So obviously that was done during some sort of drill. That’s my opinion. And it didn’t match with what was going on at the time. So nothing is matching in real time for me.  That’s just another thing.


But where are the kids? Where were the kids? They weren’t present. They just weren’t there. So that’s the kind of stuff that wasn’t worked out and, you know, they were doing things on the fly. That’s why I say…I would say it was very amateur, very amateurish as to what was going on.


S – Which is surprising because in the powers that would have designed this thing – that it would be so amateur – but…


You are familiar with the character, Gene Rosen?


P – Gene Rosen – which one was …?



S – Gene Rosen was the man who was very close to the school and he took the kids in and offered them juice and cookies, and he gave many different…he recounted  his rescuing or fielding these kids differently in many interviews. So can you comment on that?


P – I can comment on this because this points to this proves my point that these kids …did they get off a bus? Where did they go? OK, I think that one of the stories was that the kids got off the bus and they made their way to his house, and there was all this panic or whatever was going on. OK, there’s something really wrong with that picture to begin with.


First of all, when you’re doing these scenarios and this school had to have been trained for this because FEMA requires these trainings, and if you’re getting safety monies from the federal government, which every school does, they have to follow the proper protocols and that’s the proper release of the students to their parents.


S – Right. He said, that children showed up on his lawn and they were with a bus driver, in one story. In another story, they were just there by themselves and they were repeating babbling that there teacher was dead. So what…would the protocol be that the children…the children, according to the story, left the school on their own.


P – Well, that to me, that’s very suspicious in and of itself.


S – Right, I mean the cops had not gotten there in the first five minutes. Apparently some of them could still hear shooting going on, and how did the kids get out and just run down the road, you know?


P – All that seems to be …and again, I want to go into the thing about the incident command system, evacuation, walk-outs and so on. None of that fits that protocol. None of it.


The story of Gene Rosen or any of that stuff — None of that fits. That to me is just more evidence that there were no students other than the actor students that were there.


S – Then what was the purpose of having the Gene Rosen player?


P – Diversion.


S – From what?


P – A diversion from the other realities going on and to add more hype about the story.  It’s the same thing about the guy that was chased through the woods. You know, they had a couple of guys that were chased through the woods. What were they all about?



And there were no answers about any of that, about where they came from and even my people couldn’t come up with an answer about that. Some of my people say it was very sloppily done.


S – These are your insider people, right?


P – Right.


S – Now did you see any of the videos of the people circling through the firehouse?


P – Yes.


S – And did that strike you …what did you think of that?


P – Well, I had already come to my conclusion that this was a drill, and again, being very suspicious of the Obama administration, Diane Feinstein, Second Amendment issues, using Agenda 21 in particular, I had not see that for quite some time afterwards, maybe a couple of weeks after.


We were engaged in our own things that we were doing in terms of investigations and stuff like that. We’re pretty intense about what we’re doing here on Agenda 21 Radio, and we have some very highly placed sources of information that comes to us and which we’re very grateful for.


I, for one reason or another, hadn’t seen that video maybe two or three weeks until after the incident.


There’s more evidence right there because what in the world were all those people doing there to begin with? You see, if you’re doing an incident command situation, there’s a place for those people and those people can be moved on rather than seeing that circus that was going on, which is what that was. That was all staged.


S – Right.  And these were far too many adults, no children whatsoever, no panic. And to me the people that were there-–they weren’t dressed for December. So some people have suggested that that particular drill, the circling in and out of the firehouse, took place a lot earlier, and it matches the time frame and the clothing of the children evacuated from the school. They did not have their coats.


And I was going to ask you, is it normal when there’s an emergency for the teacher to evacuate the children without letting them get their coats, or would they take the extra time and say ‘children go put your goats on as fast as you can.’ How does that work?


P – Well no. If there’s a signal to get them out of the building, and there’s always a signal of some sort to get them out of the building safely, they go directly out. Period. End of subject.


And if they can get their coat, that’s great, but the safety thing is to get them away from where there potentially is a threat and that would be the key thing. And again, you pointed to something else and I brought this up earlier about the drill that we used to run and people would always, you know, screw up the drill because they would knock on the door in an active shooter situation and the teacher would open the door.


Well, you know, how does that all play out? I was looking at things pretty much in real time within minutes of news being broadcast as it was happening from a helicopter. Now I am a real-time kind of guy. So I’m looking at maybe 15 minutes into the shooter, maybe 20 minutes into the shooter situation. I’m looking at clear video of the campus and so on.  I’m not seeing anything happening.


Where are the kids? The kids aren’t there.


S – Right.


P – And they should be released or what’s going on with them?


S – And there were some people said that they were in closets for up to four hours. That doesn’t make any sense either.


P – That does not many any sense to me because what happens, and again it goes back to the police, and back to Columbine, they will go in and check every nook and cranny. And quite frankly, I know how that’s done. We used to do that. We always used to look and check to see where people were.


S – Right. And you would not miss large adults hiding in small closets.


And the idea of Katelyn Boyd and some of these teachers bundling up all their kids into the bathroom and having a few sit on the toilet…I even heard the toilet roll holder, my God, that’s pretty tough to do even for a six year old. But what do you think of that?  That doesn’t make sense to me.



Sofia Smallstorm, “Unraveling Sandy Hook in 2, 3, 4 and 5 dimensions”


P – Well, you know, we tell people in an active shooter situation to seek…to hide or …if there is a shooter there to take the challenge. We used to do these things where we had these dummy books and we’d bring in an active shooter as the stage person and throw books at them, you know, because that really throws them off. You’re taught those kinds of little techniques to throw the active shooter off.


But I can imagine some people getting holed up in a closet or something like that if they haven’t been able to lock the door. And that’s one of the things we tell our people all of the time. Lock the door. And we made sure in all schools, and all schools should have the, the doors should have the inside key on them, you know, so you can use an inside key on them also as we could on the outside.


S – So we have a couple of minutes left at this first hour.  Do you have anything to say about Adam Lanza – fiction, non-fiction, real?


P – Well, just on the surface of it, and again I would throw out I’m highly specialized trained in drugs and alcohol recognition, obviously looks like he has some meds onboard just by the look. But you know if you couch that along the same lines that that this may be a fictional event, that he’s a fictional character, which fits his description of what I see there.


And of course if you’re doing a fictionalized event like this, you want to have the most crazed individual that you can have looking at you through the picture there, and that’s exactly what you have. That’s my speculation. I think that’s what they wanted. That’s what they did.


And he has a history and what is the history? We’re not real clear on the history. You know, first of all, they found out that he’s got his brother’s driver’s license. Then there’s some confusion. And you know it one of these kind of scenarios that just didn’t quite fit.


And as a school person that to me was one of the big pieces of evidence. Why does he have his brother’s license? And then they made contact his brother that I guess was in Jersey some place, wherever he was, and there was an investigation. That all seemed to be tracking with me as a distraction about what was really happening at the school.




Click here: “Conspiracy Analyst: Does Adam Lanza even exist?”


See, the more they under this situation… this is just my speculation – the more they could distract from the actual Sandy Hook school site itself and stage things away from there, the more they could sell the story of Sandy Hook on the whole.


S – That’s a very very good point, Paul. Excellent. And we should add that the mug shot that they gave us of Adam Lanza was very painterly. It wasn’t even a photo, and it did have that, you know, ghoulish expression on it to make us think this is a real lunatic.


But we are now at the end of our first hour and I really really thank you, Paul Preston, for being with us. And we will take up a second hour discussion in the Members Section. So this is Sofia Smallstorm thanking everyone for listening to this first hour and please do come to and join us for the second hour in the Members Section with Paul Preston, 41 years in the public schools and someone who has been through a lot of staging of drills and has a lot of drill understanding and experience.

A Quote Made Me Look At Myself

don't give upThis came across my Facebook this morning and I stared it at for a while. I thought about how I come across to people. Do I make you happy or sad? Do I upset you by my words?

I have always been the type of person who doesn’t like to hurt anyone if at all possible. This has side-effects though. It can cause me to be backed in corners I don’t want to be in. It can make me say yes when I really want to say no.

I have been working on trying to stand up more on my feet and think about me. I hate that in a way though. My mom always taught me to think of others first and myself last, so this is a hard habit to break.

I have written many poems on here, shared music that I love. I have whined and cried out to you while dealing with my brother’s illness. I have been a very needy gal this past year. Even today, I still need encouragement to go forward. You have taught me to remember the good memories. You have shown me that I am worthy of stating how I feel about various things.

I was thinking of all this and then I stopped as I thought; have I helped anyone else or has it all been about me? I hope that somehow I have made a difference in a life somewhere out there. I hope that maybe one story I wrote saved someone from a sad day. I don’t know if I did or not.

I just want to say so many of you have been here for me. I pray that I have been there for you at one point or another and I didn’t make you feel unimportant as I value your input and friendships very much.

night flower 4