Child Abuse


 

English: This is a map of Kosciusko County, In...

English: This is a map of Kosciusko County, Indiana, USA which highlights the location of Monroe Township. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Second Woman Charged with Battery to Child

- Kosciusko County Sheriff’s Dept. officers arrested a second Warsaw
woman involved in allegedly striking a 4-year-old toddler. Deputies went
to the residence of Jolene Marie Swihart, 30, Wednesday and arrested
her on a preliminary charge of battery resulting in serious bodily
injury
to a victim less than 14-years-old. KCSD deputies and officials
with the Department of Child Services initially began an investigation
Monday at the same residence that led to the arrest of Sherena Michele
Harris, 26.

Every week here where I live a case is reported of child abuse. Each time I read about this topic my mind just explodes. Maybe it is because it touches my own life when I was very small.

Maybe it is because the punishments are not near severe enough. I have even read cases as of late where the abused child was returned to the home of the abuser. What is up with that crap?

Why isn’t the punishment so intolerable that an abuser would do nothing less than think over twice what could happen to him or her? Is child abuse so common that it is now coming out of the woodwork?

Has it been going on for generation after generation and MUM was the word? I was reading the comments about this particular case and someone stated, we really don’t know if they are guilty or not.

Pleaseeee, look at that child’s bruises. Look at the thin body. Take a look at the skin around the lips where duct tape was placed so the child would not speak.

Alright, maybe the person is the wrong person direct, but I bet a million bucks that they are aware of what was happening. Or worse yet a party to it.

So many of us, and I am guilty also, of asking, what makes that child be so difficult to raise?

Well, maybe there is so much information we were not privy to be shared with. Maybe there are months or years of abuse hidden in that child’s mind. Can an abused child be fixed? Who’s responsibility is it to pay for all the therapy?

These are questions I am throwing out here to you. I want you to voice or in this instance, write your thoughts.

What is it going to take to get this to stop? How long does the abused have to suffer? I don’t care if it is calling someone stupid, retard, fatty, four-eyes, sexual, emotional or mental, it is all abuse.

We were placed here by God for much  more than the cruelty that is allowed to happen to humans.

Oh Lord this world has turned upside down. There are many demons walking around in too familiar clothing. Help us Lord. Tell us what we can do to save these innocent victims. Show us how you want us to help. Amen

 

People Watcher


English: Join the movement to end child abuse:...

English: Join the movement to end child abuse: http://www.1stand.org

I didn’t want to get you sidetracked on my last post. I was talking about Al and wanted to stick to it.

While we were at Culver’s it was about 12:30. A good time on a Sunday to people watch. It was very crowded and I was thankful for the staff and visitors who helped open doors to get his wheel chair in and out. Also for checking out the Men’s restroom to make sure the coast was clear before barging in on some guy and scaring him so he couldn’t pee.

I love to people watch. If I can go to a mall and shop for a bit and spend more time sitting and people watching, this is what I would do. Today there were many people who had left church and headed here to eat.

It was so cute to see little girls in pretty dresses and white lacy anklets. Sort of reminded me of myself when I was little. There were ladies in dresses and men in suits. There were the relaxing folks with shorts and tank tops on.

I was really enjoying myself between keeping an eye on Al’s chewing. There was this one couple though that I found it hard to mind my manners.  I wanted to stare but I had to do it politely. They had to be young, well to me young. They were probably in their late twenties. I could tell from their outfits that they also had just left church to come here to eat. They had one daughter who was probably around 7 and another baby in a car seat. This baby wasn’t old enough to sit up yet. Cute little kids.

What gave me mixed feelings was my mind was thinking, nice church folks, pretty clothes, family, togetherness, comforting.

Then the baby would cry. I could see from my view that the Mama was trying to console the baby without having to pick he/she up, but the baby didn’t stop fussing. This was the first glimpse I got of mixed emotions. This is when the mixed emotions started flaring up.

Each and every time the baby cried, the Mama’s eyes got huge and she stared at her husband‘s face. The little girl became very quiet and stayed frozen in her seat. Finally the mom picked up the baby and gave up her hot food to comfort the little one.

The whole time she kept her eyes glued to her husband. There were no smiles or laughter or chatter. The baby quieted down and she laid it back in its little seat. Once again it cried. Instantly her eyes went to her husband again.

There was something familiar to me in that look of hers. It reminded me of when I was married to my last husband and I was always afraid of doing the wrong thing. The heart races, the breathing becomes rapid, but silence falls all around them and fear takes over.

Finally after the husband had finished his meal he took the baby from Mom. She could now eat her cold lunch. After he got the baby quiet the Mom’s eyes returned to normal. The little girl started to speak once again.

I felt eerie inside. I wanted to go over and ask the Mom or the little girl if they were safe, but I didn’t. I let it sit inside of me and stir like red-hot embers. I didn’t have any evidence.

I watched them leave and put my full attention back on Al. I felt ugly inside for not doing anything. There was a part of me that needed proof before I stuck my neck out. The only proof I had was my own memories of when my husband was not a very nice man, which is why I divorced him.

Kids or no kids if you are in a relationship that you don’t feel safe at all times, for heaven’s sake, get out. Get out and save your life, your sanity, and your children, if there are any. If you can’t get out because of no funds, do what I did. Save money until you can get out. I told my kids what was going on and I felt better because I had more pairs of eyes watching my life go by. If worse situation comes, walk out the door, call the neighbor, or call the police. Don’t hang around for love or security, you won’t find it.

I felt like something was going on inside that family, and I asked God to watch over that wife, mother and children, because all I had to go on was instincts.

Remember, abuse can happen to anyone. Church going people, teachers, preacher’s kids, your next door neighbor, your boss’s family, anywhere and anytime always be a good people watcher.

What Happened?


Cleavage

I am not bitching ; I am just wondering.

Today when I went out I had to go to the bank and have some papers noterized. Now I have gone to this bank for over fifteen years. Everyone in there knows me. There was one new girl working today. She could have been a fill in or maybe a new employee. It didn’t matter.

She gave me a hard time. My bank account number was not good enough. All the information I gave her verbally she could verify through her computer. She called over two other tellers and ask them if they recognized me. One said yes and the other said no.

I looked her in the eye and said, “how can you say this? You wait on me all the time. You and I set up accounts for my brother here”. She played dumb. I don’t know what was going on behind the counter at the bank today, but I didn’t want to be a part of it. After words were exchanged for several minutes, I finally got my way and left without saying goodbye.

The second incident happened when I was leaving the grocery store parking lot. I saw a cart to the side of my car. I checked to see how close it was to my car door. I know I should have taken it back to the cart storage area but it was windy and I just didn’t want to have my lungs have that much chilly air plus the winds so I left it sitting where it was.

I got in my car and a fancy white car pulled up in the same area I was only two car spots down. I started my car as the forty-year something guy got out of his car. He walked over to the cart that was by me and he swung it around in full circle.

He was not paying attention to my car or maybe he really was. He came so close to taking off the paint on my car that I actually ducked my head with my hands. It made me very nervous. He looked at me and mouthed something at me that didn’t look very nice. I swear I didn’t do anything. He must have been having a bad morning and decided to take it out on anyone near him.

What makes people lose the respect for other humans? If I would have acted like that with my mother around she would have reprimanded me so bad. What is the saying? Treat others as you would have others treat you?

This is not the only time I have observed such things in public. It always makes me wonder what goes on behind closed doors at home. I have seen kids running through the grocery store knocking things off of shelves while a parent is talking on a cell phone.

I have seen parents slap a kid right across the face in front of me. I have even seen couples arguing in public and have heard some pretty choice words being exchanged. I think it is so pathetic.

What has happened to society? Where did the rules change about public behavior? Family morals? Child abuse? I don’t understand anymore. Can I fix it? Definitely not alone, and I don’t even know if it can be fixed in group settings.

A lot goes on today that I do not approve of. The ones I see the most are the children. I have seen people stealing in stores. I have seen too many naked butts from guys wearing their jeans too low.

Oh believe me there have been times when I would be considered a tattle tale. If I think a child is in danger I will report it to a store manager. I have even reported teen guys with pants at the knees. I don’t want to see their butts or their boxers. To me this is a big turn off.

What about women and young ladies that have to show all of their cleavage or women who brag about the size of their chests. Who cares? Who really wants to know? There is so many more important things in life to be concerned with than  body size, at least in my opinion.

If things don’t change and some morals brought back into our lives I hate to see what will happen to our young grandchildren. How will they act? How will they treat their mates? Will they respect their parents or grandparents?

I don’t know the answers but I can say truthfully that I am so glad I am the age I am. I am all for having fun in life. Laughter is the best medicine of all. But when you degrade yourself as a person or a mate or a parent, you have crossed the line.

I hope the gentleman that swung the cart is in a better mood tonight. I hope that whatever was going on at the bank this morning was resolved. Life is good, let’s keep it this way.

Picture it & Write, January 06/2013


http://ermiliablog.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/picture-it-and-write-2/child smoking

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted to smack her! I am sorry but I have worked and worked with this child of mine and nothing has worked. I have three children. Holly is the middle one you see in the photo above.

I at first felt great guilt at yelling at her for smoking. I smoked also, so how could I tell her not to? She is a child, this is why. I am an adult. I know the sentence that could lie ahead for me with smoking, she does not.

She was always the one child who feared nothing in life. Holly dared anything she could get by with. Strong personality, aggressive in thoughts. The first child that learned to talk back at such an early age.

She excelled in school. Each teacher she encountered always made the same remarks about Holly. She was very smart and caught on to her school work quickly. Was she too smart? Was she gifted? Should I consider advancing her in grade levels. Does she need to be challenged more?

When it was her and I at home, she was defiant. It was like she had Edward Scissorhands;  daggers for me. Anything I asked she fought. If I talked nice to her, she mocked me. I was beginning to think she was the child from hell.

How could she fool everyone else but me? Teachers adored her. Classmates played well with her. It was only me, a single parent left to raise three kids alone. I had to work, I had to put food on the table and pay the bills.

I felt too much guilt for not being there when ever she needed me. I was so sure that I had done something wrong in my rearing of her, that I bent over backwards to give her all that I could.

Her siblings would tend to cause problems for me as it seemed like I treasured Holly more than them. This was not the case though. I was trying to get through each of my days in peace.

I had Holly tested in many areas with different specialists. Nothing positive ever came out of it. She always tested normal. I asked family, friends and even other children’s parents if they had children like this.

There responses were a laughing no. If they had children like that, they would provide them with a tough love. What was tough love? I had never heard of this? I researched it on the internet.

tough love

NOUN:

The use of strict disciplinary measures and limitations on freedoms or privileges, as by a parent or guardian, as a means of fostering responsibility and expressing care or concern.
Wow, I was doing it back words. I was carrying the guilt for not being there. I was letting her manipulate me. I needed to change and change right now. I decided the next day would start the new me.
I saw her after school smoking. She saw me coming near and the look she gave me was I dare you to do anything. I took her at her idol threat. I could not stand it any longer.
I pulled my car up along the curb and put it in park. I got out and went over to her and said, “Let’s go. Put the cigarette out and please get in the car”. She stood her ground and took a big hit off of her cancer stick. She replied with a catty voice, ” I will go when I am ready. I can walk home. I don’t need a ride”.
I took the cigarette out of her mouth and threw it on the ground. I stomped on it until the red glow was completely out. I took her by the hand and I pulled her to the car with her screaming at me. I didn’t give a shit who was watching me. This child was going home with me!
I got her in the car and buckled her up and went to my side and got in. I locked the doors and started the engine. Off we went for home. We were both silent, which was fine with me. I was thinking, what am I going to do with this child once I get her home. Talk to her? Scold her? Ground her?
When we walked into the front door of our home she began to rant. She was calling me names and stomping her feet. A very big tantrum for a child her age. I stood there quietly as she continued her performance and then I took her by the hand and sat her down at the kitchen table.
I said to her, ” I am your mother. I am tired of letting you control my emotions. You are destroying my days. I don’t know why you act this way with only me, but it is over. I will not tolerate any more actions from you. The smoking is over. If I catch you doing the smoking thing one more time, I will have to send you to boot camp for bad kids”.
She laughed and said, ” You wouldn’t dare. I will report you for child abuse. I will tell the police that you abuse me. I will run a way from  home”. I looked at her with an emotionless face.
The two of us became very quiet, as we digested what the other had said. After a few minutes had gone by she asked, “Why do you hate me so mother? Why do you treat me worse than the other two? What did I do to make you hate me so much”?
I looked at her and my mouth opened to speak. Be careful what you say. I know you want to lash out at her. You want to tell her how miserable she has made you but don’t. You love her, you just don’t like the way she is acting.
I spoke saying, ” I love you very much Holly. You get treated the way you do because mom feels guilty. Guilty for not being here for you. Guilty for the divorce and you growing up with only one parent”.
“But the other two, you must feel guilty about them too right? I mean, they are living with one  parent also, right”?
“Yes, this is true, but you are the one who brings about more challenges for me. You have tested me more than your siblings. I lose my patience with you Holly. You are always testing me”.
” I just want to know that you love me mommy”. Holly said crying.