Where Are You?


My brother is worse now than earlier today. He is hateful and mean. He told the aide that there was urine all over the floor. She and I checked but saw nothing. He was angry at his wheelchair. He was angry at everything, even life.

In the two hours I was there over supper I heard him talking  about guns and death. He said he wished he was dead. I let everything I ever learn slip out of my right mind, as I sat in terror wondering where Al was in his mind.

I had even stopped at his old place at work, and chatted with his old boss. He gave me a hat and shirt to take to Al. I just knew that would make a world of difference. He gave me the tiniest of smiles but that was it. He didn’t want to try the hat on or even hold it.

His head was about an inch from his plate. He seemed so weak, or tired or, oh crap, I don’t even know what the word is, different.

I am afraid for my brother, I can’t lie and try to make you believe that I just know everything is going to be alright, because I don’t.

I wonder where Al is in his mind. I saw glimpses but then he would disappear. I was a rattlesnake. My mouth hissed words out so fast. I know I was a rambling idiot, but evidently my fear was bigger than life at this time.

I came home and took a shower. I looked at all the crap back in my living room. The sale was a flop. I had like five people stop. Never again, or not for a long time will I have a sale. I donated Al’s too big clothing and a lot of my clothes to a shelter for men/Scary-Night women about half an hour a way.

Someone can get use out of these. Right now I wish I could donate everything that reminds me of Mom, Dad, Al, myself and Parkinson’s. I am not depressed, I am scared, and partially numb.

I am waiting on a call from the nursing home, as they have given Al more than ample hours to act more like himself, but he didn’t make the mark.

Oh, Al, where are you baby brother…………

A Busy Week


English: Yard sale on Green Street in .

It has been a busy week. The Ombudsman and I finally made a connection by phone. She was to go to the facility last Friday. She told me to sit tight until she got a hold of me. I have heard nothing as of yet.

I am meeting with the State people this Thursday. Al‘s budget has been set. Now he is going to ask me what I need help with for Al’s care and then he will go to the Day Program Director and meet with her on the same day. The Dept. will tell them what it cost for transportation, Day Program Services, and they will take the budget and make it fit for both of us.

There are also going to be between 30-50 hours that are budgeted too for his care here at home. I have had to choose businesses that will help me to get what Al needs. So it is looking real good at this point.

The State said they want Al home by June 1st. It may not be exactly on that day, but it will be real close.

Al fell the day before yesterday again. The next day he was not feeling well. He refused his meals but today when I went to see him, he felt better, but he was complaining of a lot of pain in his leg.

The facility wants him to go to exercise class they offer, but every time Al goes  he complains for a day or two of great pain. I don’t know if this class hurts him or helps him in the end. I just hate having his doses upped every time we turn around.

He gained one pound last week from the seven pound weight loss he had. I am anxious to see what he does this week. He has big red rashes on his skin where the pain patch is so powerful that it leaves like a burn mark on his skin. Then he scratches it as it tries to heal. It looks nasty but I am not going to worry as of right now it is scabbed over. Every three days they switch his pain patch to a different spot and also the new antidepressant patch he is wearing.

I am also getting ready for a yard sale this Friday. The money is nice but doing the prep work is not fun at all. My living room is a mess right now. I will be glad when the sale is over. Back to tidy tidy for me. I always hated messes. Guess I will never change.

I finally got Al’s scooter moved from his room out to the shed. He says he doesn’t want to ride it anymore. I have to wonder if he is strong enough to even run it, although it is battery operated, it still has some umph to it. He leans so bad I am afraid he will wreck and hurt himself. I am not going to get rid of it for at least now.

You never know, he may come home and perk up from being here. Maybe some things will change and I will see more smiles, or maybe I am just hoping. But either way, they are too expensive to just sell so easily.

Tomorrow I am going to work more on the yard sale prep work, and call the doctor to start getting the list of things started that Medicare and Medicaid will pay. I know that I need a hospital bed. I am so hoping that one of these two programs will pay for an XL commode. I think I can get bed pads, and briefs through RX. If you think of something I haven’t let me know. I want the better part of it here when Al gets here.

My son is going to install a shower grab bar in Al’s bathroom. I have changed the ceiling light in his bathroom also so it is much brighter. I have all  his summer clothes put in his drawers and the winter clothes out. I have some hospital gowns too. He may not want them now, but they may come in handy later on.

I am excited and nervous about him coming home, but in the end, it will be me that spends quality time with him instead of the nursing home. I think with all the hours of help that are being provided, and the fact he will go to Day Program M-F I will be alright.

Like I said, it has been a busy week. Well, I better get back to work because it is almost time for supper. I cooked two chicken breast and shredded it. I boiled some eggs just now. They are cooling, and then I am having steamed broccoli and a chicken salad sandwich for supper tonight. The weather is 80 degrees today. The windows are open. Fresh air is finding its way of clearing stale winter air out. The sun is shining. Al is coming home, and life is good for today.

Al and Me on Mother’s Day


By noon this morning I had received two text messages from two of my kids telling me Happy Mother’s Day. On my way to go see Al I stopped at the mail box and got my mail. Inside was a beautiful card from my daughter who lives outside my area. There was a very useful gift card inside. I had never received a gift card and felt a little embarrassed when I had to ask my daughter what to do with it.

She called me this afternoon and wished me a Happy day also. Then tonight I heard the door bell ring and there stood my one son’s better half and their two kids. They brought me a card and a pretty necklace.

I felt pretty darn special, let me tell you. It was real nice to have one day off from the bad crap I have been dealt with this week.

When I saw Al today it was a complete turn around. No, he still has Parkinson’s, but his attitude and personality was wonderful. The new anti-depressant patch had obviously worked. He cut up with jokes with all the staff that walked by.

He talked to me about different shows he had watched on TV last night. He even did some embarrassing things at the dinner table like farting. Each time he did it he just giggled. It was making my face turn red but he was really enjoying his musical talent.

The only thing that bothered me besides the toots was his one hand. All five nails were gray and stayed that way the entire time I was with him. Inside where I can’t see the Parkinson’s is doing its thing. I tried for the most part to ignore and not keep glancing at them. His other hand was normal color. I don’t know what that meant, one being gray and alvin graduation picturethe other hand pink nailed.

We had a good time. I took him soda and snacks for the week, and he sent me home with raisins and miniature snicker bars. He couldn’t get them opened by himself and when the aids helped him he couldn’t chew them. His jaw must be weak or his mouth or his chewing is becoming weaker. I know that he still chokes on foods so no more gooey snack foods for him.

So far we have taken out of his foods, any kind of stringy meat like roast. We have taken out jello because the tremors won’t allow him to keep it on the spoon. French fries have to be monitored if he eats those. Milk only once a day because of choking. Cake icing seems to get stuck in his mouth, so I monitor this. He can’t have any kind of white meat chicken, and all meats have to be ground. Most meats even ground are starting to make him choke. We are training him to take a drink after each bite of meat.

I stayed with him until he fell asleep in his recliner. About an hour ago I got a call from the facility. He fell again. No one was in his room, and according to the nurse, he must have reached behind him and unhooked the bed alarm and stood up to go to the bathroom. He walked three steps and fell hitting his back on the corner of the bed. She stated there are no bruises and no scrapes.

I was calm, and I do know that I have seen Al stand up and head for the bathroom and I will instantly ask him what he is doing. He says going to the bathroom. I ask him if he is supposed to be walking and then he says he forgot and sits back down. I always sigh a deep relief because when he stands it is only seconds and he is down. I think it is his Parkinson’s/Dementia causing him to think he can walk.

I hope he will be alright. My internal alarms are on alert basis now. Not only from the fall but it seems about every two weeks we head to the ER from more of those internal tremors in his heart and chest, and it has been two weeks. I am keeping my fingers crossed on this one.

#FWF Free Write Friday; M is for Mom


http://kellieelmore.comm-is-for-mom-2

Our mom was my brother and my step-mom. She was the glue that held the family together.

When she passed away in 2000, our little family slowly fell apart. Dad became lost in his own sorrows for a few years.

I never knew what to say or how to comfort and soon time separated us more and more.

It shouldn’t have been that way, but life has a funny way of helping us to either make or not through loss of parents.

I think my brother, Al suffered the most. His  suffering wasn’t done like ours by talking about her and memories. His was done internally. Somewhere inside of his head and heart he built a shell as hard as a walnut.

He became more distant from all of us. He buried himself in coca cola and things that he should have strayed away from. Pretty soon it was evident that our family had come unglued.

I didn’t realize it for a long time that a lot of my own personal problems were due to the lack of being able to go to Mom’s house and talk to her. I didn’t realize that I had counted on her that much in my life.

She and I were never close like chocolate and milk. We were more like apples and pears. I hadn’t seen that through the years that I was growing up. I had omitted to let her know how much she meant to me and how thankful I was that she took us two kids in under her wings.

That has to be tough for parents. I have never taken kids  in to raise as my own. I do know that I have children in my family that aren’t what people call blood related but I fell in love with them as if they were. I always include them when I speak of my grandkids. I don’t see them any other way.

But for a Mom or Dad to take this role on day after day after year I assume there has to be some big adjustment times for adult and child.

Today was a day from hell for my brother. Although his Parkinson’s has brought about some dementia with it and no matter how badly he hurts physically, he never forgets our Mom.

He was really sad today. The real truth is he misses her just as much now as he did years ago when she went to heaven. Mom’s birthday is three days after Mother’s Day and so to him it is a double whammy. I tried so hard to console him today but I know in my heart that he will have to work through this alone.

I know my heart feels the void and there are still many times I want to go to the phone and dial her number, but alas, I can not.

Mom, I never told you this too often. Most likely it was because I was a stubborn brat and didn’t want to admit I may be wrong. I love you Mom. I know I caused you grief. You had your hands full with a full-time job, a new husband, and two new kids. I want you to know how sorry I am.

I am so certain that you and Dad watch over Al and me even now. I hope that you both are proud of how I have cared for my baby brother. I hope you are both smiling down on us. I love you Dad and I miss you so much. I love you Mom and I am sending you hugs from this earth up to you. I will see you soon enough and then I will give you a real big hug. Happy Mother’s Day Mom. You certainly earned your title.

Love, Your Daughter

Terryme and brother

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

monarchfree-write-friday-kellie-elmore

I Can’t Even Think of a Title For This


Blue_candleI have been stressed out today. I know, I shouldn’t be this way, but it was just one of those nasty days from outer space. The bad thing is nothing is so major that I am going to have death knocking at my door.

It is all the little pieces of strings that attach themselves to me as I walk upon this land. To start off I checked the mail on the way to go see Al. There it was, that bill that the collection agency called me about. Oh no, it is for real.

There was nothing I could do at that moment. I was on the road. Going in to see Al was a disaster in itself. Al was crying and seemed so depressed when I got there. I wanted to turn around and run but thought to myself,coward.

While eating he was leaning forward so far that food kept falling back out of his mouth. He could barely hold his head upright to eat. Then he would get teary-eyed again because he was frustrated. Then his silverware started playing songs on his plate as his tremors decided to have a party during meal time. That made him cry more.

There was a part of me that wanted to leave, because I get so sucked up in his emotions. Another part of me wanted to pick him up and rock him, and the other part of me tried to be the big sister and calm things over.

Finally the truth surfaced. Sunday is Mother’s Day and the 13th, just a few days later is Mom’s birthday. Al loved Mom so much. He has always struggled with her death. I asked him if he would like me to pick him up and the two of us could go place flowers on Mom’s grave. That didn’t go over at all. Then he wailed. Tears and anything liquid that could run did. It took two nurses and me to calm him down.

I wanted to kick myself in the rear. Why did I ask him that? Darn Terry. The truth was I thought it may help him feel closer to her but that idea backfired. I stayed a couple of hours and then I told him I loved him, and would bring him back lunch, snacks and soda when I returned on Sunday.

I went to meet a lady who sold me six nice starter plants of mint and orange mint. They looked really healthy. Next I paid a visit to the collection agency with bill in hand. I was just sure that the medical billing company had not sent  his bill to the proper insurance company.

But that wasn’t the case at all. In fact it was worse. This bill was from 12/2011. I had just been working these past two weeks on Al’s inventory and I knew without a doubt there was no bill I paid for over one thousand dollars.

I asked the lady to get a hold of the company and she said she would get an itemized bill for me. I had also tried calling this company twice while visiting Al but only got those stupid leave a message recordings, and of course they never called me back.

The bad thing about it all now is the time limit is past. According to her you only have one year to declare any changes to address, insurance etc. So by now being almost a year and a half later, no one, not even the government, she said, will go back and pay.

I was sick at heart. Here I am trying to find a way to pay this huge bill the nursing home wants. By the way, I don’t know if any of you keep tabs on the web page link for Al’s fundraiser, but we now have a total of $335.00. Many of you have helped and I so appreciate it. I have emailed and or made comments on the comment page about my deepest thanks. Here is the link if anyone would still care to help him. I think I am down to 52 days left. The link is

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

So now I have this big debt and a bill for over a thousand dollars and no one will go back and pick it up. I was sad and frustrated and mad all at the same time. I asked her when she received the bill for collection and she stated a week a go.

I pinpointed that this was way past the year dead line and why did the company wait so long? Why did they never send me a bill? She said to go home and wait for the new statement to arrive which would be a week.

I came home and went through the file for that month. I saw where Al had been in the hospital. It showed the correct address and it showed where I had paid them. But guess what, no where in that month or following clear up to this day today was there one single bill from this company. Now I was turning in to Al. I once again cried. Now it is up to almost eight thousand minus the help you all have given for the two bills.

I went outside and tried to erase my mind and planted all of the mint.  After that I didn’t feel like cooking so I went to a nearby restaurant and picked up some supper and I can’t believe I did this, I just can’t believe it. I went through the drive-thru and when I went to the window to pay and pick up the food the gal was complaining of having a bad day.

So what did I do? Yep, you guessed it. I rattled on about the bad two days I have been going through and then I just let loose. I started bawling like a big old baby. I bet that gal thought I had a screw loose. I don’t know if she looked a way or at me but I felt an arm on my arm and it brought me a sense of comfort. A human touch is something I miss very much. I could see that while she was on the other side of the window she was showing me compassion. It helped and then I felt embarrassed because I showed weakness. I thanked her and told myself, don’t come back here until you know they have forgotten your face.

When I came home I found out that the Case Worker has Al’s budget. He and I and the Day Program will all be meeting next Thursday. They will now listen to my request for needs for him and they will discuss the cost to have Al at Day Program. This will all be divided up in his budget and then after this  is decided, it will be sent back to the State. He said he hopes to have Al back in his home by June 1. I was excited and called Al and let him know but he was so sunk in Parkinson’s and Mom that he just cried again wanting to come home tonight.

So we had some good news in the middle of the storm, and now I have to hurry and make sure our house is as clean and open for wheelchair before next Thursday’s inspection. Then I have to figure out how in the world to pay these two debts off. It still makes me angry that the medical place waited until after the deadline to file it with a collection agency. It makes me angry that they never sent one single bill. Unless someone knows of a way around this, I figure Al will be deceased before these two debts are paid off. Or he will pay them until his passing and then they will disappear??? I don’t know.

Life Sucks


"Kellogg" brand "candle stick&q...

I have sat down here two days in a row to write and can not. I am brain-dead I think, too much drama going on.

Al is having worse tremors than before. If he isn’t asleep the tremors are at full force. He wants to come home, and I can’t make it happen any quicker. Each day I wait for that phone to ring for the appointment to be made. This is the last appointment before he comes home and the phone remains silent.

I had a phone call last evening after business hours. It was from some collection agency wanting to speak to my brother. I explained that I was his guardian and he couldn’t speak for himself.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

They said they wouldn’t talk without the legal papers showing who I was. I said I would fax them, but then she told me it would go to another office and would be looked at this morning. I explained to her about the Hipaa laws and that I didn’t want just any eyes seeing private things.

She told me to fax it anyways but I refused. This morning I called this business and they had me on hold for quite some time. When they finally came to the phone they didn’t show any collections for him. They told me to call the hospital and doctor’s office.

I did this and still nothing. I know when I got off the phone last night it only took that one phone call to stress me to the max. I couldn’t do anything until this morning. I started fretting about what could be wrong. I always pay his bills, so what was up?

As I became more agitated I sat here at the computer and cried for no reason. I asked God, God can I put this in the worry basket of yours? I just can’t deal with anymore. I am tired Lord, oh so tired.

I don’t know if God took care of this or if this was a spam call, but there is no evidence of owed bills today.

I rearranged my living room and moved furniture into funny areas to make our home as open and wide as possible for Al’s wheelchair. My family is having issues that I can only be a good listener and a devoted Mom but I can’t fix anything.

I am just overwhelmed I think. The straw that broke the camel’s back was I do not usually go out after supper unless it is about Al or I am a tag-along with my son. I made special arrangements to deliver one of the pieces I sold from my antique site and the person was a no-show.

The gas was wasted and so was my mind and time. I came home and wrote an amendment  that from now on they have to pick-up. If they don’t want to show or have the guts to say they changed their mind, at least it isn’t my gas and time being wasted.

Wow, I sound like a harsh mean old woman. I am not really. I just get sick of crap, as Al would say. He says I am so sick of this crap. Parkinson’s doesn’t care if it ruins me. It doesn’t care if I spill my food all over me and the floor. Darn old Parkinson‘s.

I have to agree with you Buddy, some days life sucks.

No More Joking


I swear for the last time I am not going to make remarks or joke about things anymore. It always comes back to bite me in the rear.

One time many years ago I prayed for so long to lose weight. I got my prayer answered but it wasn’t God answering. I got deathly ill. I had a rotten gallbladder, gang-green and too many gallstones. I lost a ton of weight, in fact I almost died.

Another thing I joke about is when you see me skinny or looking just right, I will be sick. Now it is my brother who is losing weight. He lost 7 pounds two weeks ago. Last week he gained three pounds back, and this week he has lost 9.2 pounds.

No one seems to know the answer. Not the doctors or the nurses. I am wondering if it is the new internal tremors along with the outer tremors we see.

Is it the journey of Parkinson’s in itself? I am no longer laughing………….alvin and meLonely_candleI am thankful now that Al has some extra baggage on him. It is allowing him more time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

 

 

Nightmare at the Hospital


Today you will get a break from my writing. I am so tired and I feel like I can only write once today.                                                                                                                                            Blue_candlealvin

We all have at one time witnessed or been a  part of someone in great pain and maybe even dying. It is a horrendous time to go through, but we look at the end of the rainbow. We know this too shall pass. They will either get better or be pain-free in heaven.

Yesterday evening about 11pm I received a phone call from Al‘s facility. He had been suffering from chest pains. They gave him three Nitrates but it didn’t help. They were letting me know they were sending him to the ER.

I was shook up a little but sad to say I am getting used to the late night phone calls. I got dressed and went to the hospital. I beat the EMS by about five minutes.

I want to say to never get comfortable in your situation. Whether you hit the lottery, or you are barely making it, or as in Al’s case repeated trips to the ER should not be taken lightly. Life does change and when you think you got it all going on , things change.

I had never seen Al like this in my life. This pain was worse than any pain he suffers from the Parkinson’s Disease. He grabbed his chest I don’t know how many times. He cried and he kept crying out to any nurse that walked by saying, help me, help me, I am not going to make it.

He would be lying down and then all of a sudden jump up into a sitting situation. His eyes would be popping out pretty much and he would scream in pain. He was yelling my neck hurts, my chest hurts and my arms feel funny. The heart monitor went nuts. His heart was showing a heart rate at 300 many times.

They did many tests on him but the heart enzyme test came back negative. So thankfully he didn’t have  a heart attack. But in some ways I wish he would have because quite a few times people can have surgery to repair a damaged heart.

No this wasn’t going to be so simple. I was explained that there are muscles lining the heart and muscles throughout the rib cage. The Parkinson’s is fully engaged in his chest wall.

The nurse kept saying to me, his blood pressure and heart can’t take much more of this.

I was sick, not physically but mentally. My stomach hurt and burned. I couldn’t even cry I was so worried about him. To stand there holding his hand and have him tell me he wasn’t going to make it this time broke me up bad.

They couldn’t do anything for him until all the tests came back. This time period was four hours. After the doctor got the clear he gave Al an IV with morphine.  In less than five minutes he was out. The monitor calmed down and he was resting peacefully.

I looked at his gray nails and his pale face and I could not deny any longer this was serious. It was as if the Doctor read my mind. He came in and took me out in the hall. He said, Al can’t take much more of this. Although he is not having a heart attack, every time he has tremors in his chest cavity his heart is trying to adjust to the speed of the tremors. If you are planning on taking him home as you stated earlier, I suggest you get him home.

They kept Al another hour to make sure he was going to be alright from the IV. Along with his powerful pain patch, three nitrates and four baby aspirin and all the other medications in him, he had to be watched carefully.

I went outside and got in my car. It was so dark with a three-quarter moon, but yet so quiet and still. I felt funny inside and then I broke down. The problem with release was it didn’t come. Only a few tears fell and then I drove up to the front door and got Al in the car. I took him back to the facility.

I got home about five am this morning and slept for a few hours when the phone rang. It was the doctor’s office. They told me that they have increased the dosage of Al’s pain patch and have put him on another pain med.

Al seems to live on pain medications more and more and there is no hope or thought anymore that he may become addicted. I did say in an earlier post that I just wanted him as pain-free as possible and this is what the doctors are doing.

Please remember even one dollar adds up. Major credit cards accepted. If you use Pay Pal please make sure you mark it as a gift so you are not charged.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

The Meeting With the Top Dog


candle-animated.gifYesterday I called the facility to set up a meeting this morning with the Administrator. He tried to find out what it was about but I told him I would tell him when I arrived. This morning I said a small prayer to act like a responsible adult and not cry or act frustrated in front of this man.

I walked in calm and breathing normally. We shook hands. He smiled and I returned it. It is not hard to look at a young man with beautiful eyes and nice hair. LOL I told him everything. I spoke to him about Al sitting in the bathroom in his wheelchair while he had to figure out how to go pee when he didn’t need to.

I told him about the stolen candy. I mentioned the cookies that the nurse had made such a big deal about. I told him about my unexpected visits and how the two staff members jumped when they saw me there. I added that I want a staff to be near by when he is dressing in case of toppling over.

I spoke to him about the nurse who discussed Al’s weight loss in front of him. I explained how he went back to his room then telling another aide he was going to die because PD was taking his weight a way.

I tried to get my point across for the umpteenth time that no one should discuss Al’s health in front of him unless it is good news, as he builds a case around it for days.

I also reminded him that I had been talking with the nurses and charge nurse and I could get no where. Now I was at the top of the rank expecting help.

He told me to go out and replace the candy and bring him the receipt. He also said with a big smile that he would look into all of this. One thing I did appreciate was he was taking notes about the entire conversation.

So now I sit back and wait to see what happens……All in all I do pat myself on the back because I acted more like a mature caring adult then a hurt sister. But I did get the point across that Al is my brother and I will stop at nothing to ensure he is at much peace as possible through his journey of Parkinson’s.

I Don’t Know


M&M

My birthday did not consist of sleeping in today. Instead I threw on some plain clothes and sneaked into the facility where Al is. You ask why would I do that on a day when I could sleep in?

The answer is because I love my brother. I took some advice from a friend and decided yesterday to go see him on a time they never would expect me. It was 8:15pm and Al was in bed asleep.

Wow, I thought to myself. Talk about going to bed early. I woke him up and he didn’t smile. He didn’t talk for a few minutes. But when he did, he proceeded to tell me about the entire day.

He started off with the fact that the nurse was upset because he was eating the cookies I brought him. He then went to the fact he struggled for half an hour to get dressed because no one was there to help him. He told me about how they sat him in the bathroom door way for an hour until he finally had the urge to pee.

I figured out that when Al is upset and he can’t find relief he sleeps. I went out to ask the nurse how he had been doing this evening and she said fine. I questioned her on the walking bit. Al keeps telling me every day this week that they are trying to make him walk down to breakfast.

She stated that she highly doubted it, never having seem him walk. I think I figured out what that was all about. They ask him  if he would like to walk and he says no. They then tell him to push himself down to the dining room. The rules are that if Al is having a good moment he is to push himself down, if he tries and can’t do it, he is to ask for help and they push him.

I believe that Al doesn’t quite get it. He wants to be pushed all the time and I think they try to get him to push himself. He should also in my opinion try his best to go on his own.

While I was there I left him a bag of M&M’s mixed with Snicker miniature bars. He was too sleepy to try one so I sat them on his bed side table and told him I would see him the next day. He fell back asleep before I exited his room.

This morning I got up early and walked into the facility. I went straight to his room and Al was on the potty and the aide was telling him to get dressed. There was Al, one aide, and a nurse in the bathroom with him.

I quietly walked over and sat in Al’s recliner. The aide was telling Al to get dressed and the nurse was handing him a wet wash cloth. They turned to leave his room and jumped back startled when they saw me there.

They turned back around and the nurse washed Al’s back and got him dressed. She asked me why I was there so early and I told her I wanted to get to the bottom of Al’s complaints. I said what better way to find out than to be here.

Al hadn’t seen me yet and he was crying and telling the other two about his candy. I listened with interest as he told them my sister brought me a bag of candy. When I woke up at 1am I was going to have a piece and it was gone. Someone stole it.

I piped in and said that I had indeed brought him candy. I told them where I had left it and that Al was asleep when I left and had never touched the bag. The nurse said she would ask the second shift nurse when she came in.

I couldn’t help myself even at this early stage of the morning. I asked and started laughing, Do you really think anyone is going to risk their paycheck by admitting they took a bag of candy?

Both the aid and nurse just looked at me. Sorry, friends, but when I see the scales tipping in my mind, it is definitely going in the direction of lie and keep the  job. I told them I was irate. The candy doesn’t come cheap and if the staff had to stoop so low as to steal candy, then they better give a raise to these over-worked people.

I also brought up about the other nurse and the missing cookies. Making comments that he is eating sweets. This nurse told me they do encourage Al to not eat too many sweets. That his weight gain is their concern.

I said, I appreciate this fact that you are a caring staff, but the reason I have brought more garbage food in is because of a seven pound weight loss in five days, not weight gain. She said oh. He was dressed and ready to go to the dining room when the aide told him to get going. The nurse said, no, we push him down. The aide said, no we make him push himself down. I thought, oh wow, you two really got different stories here, in the same room, and right in front of me. The nurse than asked Al if he wanted to go on his own or be pushed and Al said to be pushed that his knees were hurting. She then pushed him down.

I searched his room and there was no ziplock bag anywhere. I went to search the other wastebasket and the aide said they already emptied it before I arrived.

So in ending this, Al is not actually walking I believe. He is struggling with pushing himself on his painful hours and gets upset because he has to asks so many people to push him down.

I believe as well as I am sitting here typing that there was no intention to dress him.  I had witnessed them both walking a way from him until they saw me. I also believe that there is an M&M and Snicker bar thief. It  happened somewhere after 8:30pm and before 1am.

This crap is going to stop. I don’t know how I will stop it yet, but when you start taking the candy that I bought and took to my brother, you thieves have crossed the line in my book. I want that candy replaced do you hear me staff???

I know it sounds funny, truly I do. To get upset over a bag of candy. But this isn’t the first time and I am sick of hearing story after story this whole week from Al about things that are happening and the staff says those three little words, I don’t know……