Al’s Secret Christmas Gift to Me


al at birthday partyToday, I went to see my brother, Al. He had wandered into the therapy, to ask the therapists to fix his legs. He legs were under the deep heat therapy, and his whole body was full of tremors.

He told me he woke up and did not feel right. He said when he got up, he felt like he was going to fall down. I think he laid back down and let the nurse know he was feeling bad. He told me his tummy hurt, and he just did not feel right.

No nurse came to me with any reports, but I did find out that staff wants him to start eating a little bit more food. He is beginning to taper off his appetite, due to constant pain.

He said that he had another unwanted visitor. This was the visitor that I had spoken to prior and said that Al did not really want her to come back. Al told me,” You would be proud of me Terry. I didn’t have to go get the nurse, I just told her to leave”. I looked at him and said”If this is what you wish, than I am behind you”. He replied back,”She says she will call you and tell you I would not let her in”. I thought to myself, Go for it lady.

A therapist came up to me and said that she thinks so much of Al and that all the staff is crazy about him. She and others were going to be his armor and help guard him from people who may upset him. I appreciated this, as I can not be there 24/7.

I took him the little ornament from Hallmark. It is the old-fashioned radio, that as you turn the dial each day, it says little messages up  to Christmas day. He smiled at me and told me thanks.

Most of my visit today was spent in the therapy room. He believes so much that they can help him, and although he is not scheduled for this process any longer, they do not want to burst his bubble.

When it was time for his lunch, I walked with him down to the dining room. I made sure he had his food, and then I told him I would see him the day after today. I said good-bye, and I always say I love you to him. For the very first time, Al smiled up at me, and said I love you too sis. My heart melted, and I smiled all the way out the door.

No one can do so much to me with their hateful words, or bad attitudes, to erase the beautiful moment, that Al gave me. What a wonderful Christmas gift I will always treasure.

 

Al, Pain & Me


I went to see Al this morning, and he was not having a good day. I stayed about an hour and a half, while he went through some deep heat therapy. His legs were in great pain and he was in freezing modes today.

The therapists and I could not get much out of him today, as the pain was bigger than the day. He even asked me to go get the nurse for some pain medications. The therapy has stopped for Al, as far as the physical therapy. The professionals say there is no more that can be done for his legs any longer, but when they see Al struggling to walk or his legs buckling, they haul him into the therapy room and use the deep heat to try to loosen up the nasty Parkinson’s.

I left him when I walked him down to the lunch room, and I saw three two-handled cups sitting there for him a long with weighted silverware. I am so happy they are having him use these, as the last time I took him out to eat, he could barely lift the glass to his mouth, and struggled to use a straw.

I am just amazed at how Parkinson’s can move along so quickly, almost like week to week you see changes.

I have had so much good advice from all of you on here about me. I have just been so far down in the dumps, I can barely climb out. Everything makes me cry, the dog is causing me more grief than pleasure. I just don’t think it was probably good timing getting such a young pup at this time.

I decided that I had to do something. I am afraid to remain like this in this stage, for fear I will slip into some depression and I want to fight it if I can, so this morning, for the first time in months, I put make-up on. I looked in the mirror and asked, is this really you?

After leaving Al in the pain that he was, my heart felt so much lower than ever, I got in my car and the car or God took over, or something grabbed a hold of me, and said press on young lady, you have a life to live, now get out there! I am sure it was my own self scolding me, but anyways, my car went to the beauty shop, parked, and went in, and when I came out, I looked like this!

It has helped some, I am back to my down feeling, but some good happened today also, so I am  hopeful.