A very dear friend of mine has shared this song with me. I love that some of you have come to my Facebook and asked to be a friend of mine. It gives me a chance to reach out and chat with others who may not suffer with PD. We all have problems of some kind. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but there has been a time that you need your friends surrounding you. A shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen to your woes.
I cried like a big baby when I listened to the words to this song. This is something that I try very hard not to be selfish, but darn, it is the most difficult thing I have done in many years. To sit back and not think of what I want.
I am weak and yet I have days where I am stronger than my worst enemy. But there is someone stronger than me. His name is Al. I have the opportunity to sit behind this screen and pour out my heart to you. Who does my brother have? He has his God. When I was cleaning his room the other day I was surprised at the wear and tear that is showing on his Bible. He uses it every day, several times a day.
This book that he goes to for comfort has torn edges and turned back pages. I imagine that if my brother goes before me I will treasure this Bible along with my hidden memories. I will pick it up from the shelf it rest upon and I will hug it to my bosom. I will cry for missing him and I will cry for his release from pain.
This song reminds me that each day Al lives he is nearing his wonderful journey home. To even write that sentence I felt the worst stabbing of pain. It branded my heart and sent tears to my eyes without my even realizing.
To lose someone is something we have all experienced. We send flowers, we show our love by going to the funeral home. We send cards and give hugs and words of encouragement.
But when it is all over, we sit in our own corner of life and we are forced to begin the healing process or we die inside. For me I am trying to start the reality of his journey ahead of time.
I have been in denial for a long time. I listen with intense burning at others words. I light candles for hope of a cure. I pledge myself for the cure of PD and I beg others to pledge along with me.
I look back to when my own Daddy was dying. I talked to every non-profit organizations. I walked for Light The Night for Leukemia. Yet God wanted my precious Daddy and he left this earth anyways.
This is the fight that is within me. The fight to never give up until the last breath is taken. This is where my pillar stands tall and the light on my candle shines brightest. I am going to lose this game, I know it deep in my pit. But until that day, that moment, that second arrives I will not give up. I will always have a glimmer of hope.
I will look at the heavens and cry for help. I will continue to come to my friends here at WP for added fuel. To God it is a blink of an eye in time, but for me it has been 57 years so far. If it be thy will Lord please let me have a few more years. But if you want him more than I do, I promise I will step aside and not stop you, but the tears will fall and I will be on bended knees and my heart will hurt.
Type Terry in the Search Views and please vote for my brother. Help cure PD. You can vote once every hour until the end of this month.
Please go and light a candle in Al’s name, a group you will find with his name. Please light the candle in Al’s journey.