Being Idle Could Have Got Me Arrested


Sunday noon and nothing to do. I am still not in the mood to pack more. I am going to save that for tomorrow. I should have packed and stayed inside where I belonged. I had fixed a crock pot full of fresh green beans, yellow and green squash, a few yellow potatoes, lots of spices with a smoked pork chop for added flavor last night right before bedtime.

This morning it smelled so good in the kitchen that I decided to have this delicious soup for brunch instead of my usual eggs. I ate about 10ish and then played on the computer. I finally decided to get dressed and I gathered up some coupons I had accumulated and headed for  coupon shopping at a local store.

I grabbed a protein snack and headed off. I ate this when I wasn’t  hungry because for weeks I have fought with my Diabetes sugar levels to stay above the low numbers; so I thought I was safe.  I had gathered up a bag of trash, my purse and headed out the front door. I locked the door and then it hit me; my keys are hanging inside on the hook. Oh crap, now what do I do. Fortunately for me I remembered a time years ago when I had done something stupid like that. I got a credit card out of my purse and worked it until the door popped open. I am a natural-born criminal I guess! LOL I got to the store and started my adventure of shopping. I went from aisle to aisle, department to department, comparing the prices against my cents off coupons.

I didn’t realize how long I had been there  and I forgot it was the last weekend before school, so the store was packed wall to wall. Kids and parents, college students everywhere. Then there were those of us old folks just trying to stay out of people’s way and out of trouble.

I completed all the non-perishables and had begun down the dairy section where the cheeses were. Suddenly out of no where I felt shaky. My legs began to feel like they were going to fall from under me. Instantly I recognized my low sugar numbers. I looked up at the wall clock and I had been there three hours. Wow, how time flies when we are having a blast?

Here I was with my cart filled with my hard labor of mind thinking and I have this come up. It seems that ever since I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, my sugar levels have dropped. I guess I am going to have to have a meeting with my wonderful family doctor soon.

At the far end of the store was the Bakery department. I hardly ever visit that area because I am weak to the sweets. I made my legs walk and I could feel myself getting light-headed; but I made it to that section.

I walked to the doughnut section and with all my energy I had left I opened the double doors and grabbed one of those little self-serve tissues and took  a cake doughnut; a blueberry one. I was careful enough to at least not get one of those with icing dripping from all sides.

I began to eat it right there, leaning on my cart. I probably looked like the town drunk the way I stood. ” Hey, you can’t just open up the doors and help yourself and eat here. You have to pay for that first.”

I couldn’t speak, I never can when my sugar is too low. I kept pushing the doughnut in as fast as I could, trying to speed up the process of bringing my sugar levels back up. I ignored her because I didn’t want to pass out right there. She walked over and said those words again and then she looked at my face.

She knew something was wrong and got me a chair to sit down. She stayed with me instead of calling the police for doughnut theft. When I could finally speak I explained what had happened and she laughed saying she had recognized that before with her grandma and she should have seen it in me.

I asked her how I should pay for an invisible doughnut and she told me what to say. I hadn’t finished my coupon shopping but chose to head  to the check-out counter and pay for my items. I did save thirteen dollars, yes! I somehow got my bags in my car and then plopped down on the driver’s seat and just sat there waiting for me to feel alright enough to drive home. When I got home I checked my sugar and it was 157. That wasn’t bad at all considering I had eaten a whole doughnut.

I act really strange when my sugar is low, so if you see someone acting like I did in a store, reach out to them and see if you can be of assistance. It is better to help than watch someone pass out to the floor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

police car

Who’s The Killer?


Who’s The Killer?


I was sitting in a parking spot, looking over my hair and face before going inside for an appointment. I looked around, just being nosy, to see if there was anyone I recognized and I saw this nice van sitting beside me.

Nothing special, just navy blue, looked like it is always kept in a garage type of clean. But what got me was a sign in the window. Now this was just an ordinary sign you can buy…

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Who’s The Killer?


I was sitting in a parking spot, looking over my hair and face before going inside for an appointment. I looked around, just being nosy, to see if there was anyone I recognized and I saw this nice van sitting beside me.

Nothing special, just navy blue, looked like it is always kept in a garage type of clean. But what got me was a sign in the window. Now this was just an ordinary sign you can buy at any variety store. It was the words that got my attention.

It said, Beware, wife buried in trunk. Now first off, there is no trunk in a van. So I breathed a short sigh of relief on that part.  I glanced around the parking lot as if I was waiting for the butcher to come get in the monster beside me.butcher

I didn’t see anyone who looked  like they may have killed their wife, but who knows what killers look like? Do they have a TM symbol on their forehead? I doubt it.

I clutched my cell phone and my legs tensed up. Should I call the police? Should I get out of the car or wait a few extra minutes? After all I am usually always early by a few. I sat there, barely breathing.

Eyes searching left to right without turning my head. I noticed inside the lady I was to meet was tapping her foot and pointing to her watch. She was wondering where in the world the lady was she was to meet with.

Right here, right here inside me car. Don’t you see me? Can’t you see that i am in a terrible situation right now? Can’t you read the fear in my eyes?

She didn’t seem to notice as she began to pace back and forth on that dull, gray carpet. I choked on my own lack of spit as I realized I had not breathed in seconds. Taking a deep breath I inhaled and licked my lips.

The lady inside was looking out one window and then another. She spotted me. Oh my gosh lady. I am not late. Please realize there is a killer near the two of us. Any moment he is going to come out those doors. He is going to realize by looking at my pale face that I know his secret.

She leaned in a little and recognized that I am the one she is waiting for. She taps her watch face and I can see the formed words on her lips saying, get in here. I want to be able to go to lunch on time.

I slowly put my cell in my purse. Taking the keys out of the ignition I drop them softly inside with my cell. I glance around trying not to let the lady realize that I am a big chicken, too afraid of who may get me.

I take a hold of the car door and start to release it to open when a man in a black suit  comes out of the door. He is walking towards me. He gets to the van and he hesitates a moment. He sees my big eyes and my ghost face.

He grabs a hold of his stomach and laughs just like Santa Claus would. I stare at him, my mind going blank.

He comes near me, and then before I know it he is right beside me. He taps on my window. I open the door a smidge waiting to see what it is he wants. He points to the sign in the back of the van window.

” Is that what you are scared about young lady? Don’t be frightened. The kids at my church are always pulling pranks on me. I get used to it. I used to scold them for being so ornery but then I discovered that things like this give me an opportunity to get to know  people and invite them to our church.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and a small grin came over my face. I got out of the car and the two of us shook hands and introduced ourselves. He told me what church he was minister over  and I explained I was late for a job interview.

This was thirty years ago. My husband and I still laugh at this when we think back to the days of how we met.

A Stress Day Made Me Do This


I saw these things on my Facebook, so had to share with you.

I almost peed my pants reading this. !!!!

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on
salesmanship.

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A Stress Day Made Me Do This


I saw these things on my Facebook, so had to share with you.

I almost peed my pants reading this. !!!!

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on
salesmanship.

Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30″ she said
proudly. “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit
and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good”, said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next.”I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I
explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

“Very good, Debbie”,said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of
cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467″, he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes”, said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough
tooth brushes to make so much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town”, said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip
& Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

“They all said the same thing, ‘Hey, this tastes like dog poop’!”

“Then I would say, ‘It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?’ I used the
President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks
good, telling you it’s free and then making you pay to get the bad taste
out of your mouth.”

Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment.

 

Best Presidential Joke of the Year

President Obama walked into the Bank of America to cash a check. As he approached the cashier he said, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?”

Cashier:
“It would be my pleasure sir. Would you please show me your ID?”

Obama:
“Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA!!!!”

Cashier:
“Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the Dodd /Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing your ID.

Obama:
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”

Cashier:
“I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

Obama:
“I order you to cash this check!”

Cashier:
“Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.

Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check.

So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”

Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, I can’t think of a single thing. I don’t have a clue what to do.

Cashier:
“Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?

 

Subject: Fw: Honesty and where it will get you” this will make you smile<<

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”

She said I wasn’t funny, she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, “Colonel Sanders.” Guess where I am now…

 

What Do You Do?


A comment was made to me today and I started thinking about it. Maybe more than I should have. But sometimes I am just in the right train of thought, the mood is perfect and I will dig deep. And so this is what happened on this very nice day.

Do you ever run into situations that make you feel uncomfortable?

I should say right here that I am in no way pointing fingers. You can all relax and take a deep breath, put your smile back on and hopefully enjoy this post. No, what I am talking about is the phrase, out of sight, out of mind.

In the way it was used when speaking with me was one that I didn’t see sticking out at me at first. I had to think about it, tear it apart, take into consideration who said it and then solve the sentence.

For me it was used as a protector. It was said to not have to stop and think about reality. The real situation that is going on in life. A  way of protecting the heart. Pretending something isn’t really happening can be a way of saving a person from being depressed.

So I wondered if this is what other people do. Do I, we, you turn our backs when we see the less than desirable body walking down the street? Do any of us turn our heads if we see someone with a different color walking towards us?

What about kids in public that are crying, do we look or turn a way? Do we  hear our friends really speaking when they are trying so hard to tell us they are being beaten at home? What about the teen girl who was raped last night. She feels so ashamed and yet she tries so hard to not come out and actually tell what happened, but she needs to say something. She is hoping you will pick up on her actions or words or hints.

Maybe it is the neighbor kid who used to be so friendly and now you never see him outside shooting baskets. Does it ever make you wonder if something odd or wrong is going on within that house?

What about the A student who suddenly within the same year drops down to D’s and F’s. Or maybe that little child that backs off when you try to talk to her, or covers his head when you approach. Is everything alright? Has he/soul 2Blog of the Year Award 6 star jpegbook4msa logoshe been hit or beaten.

We all know and realize that this is a very big world we live in. Inside the marble is thousands of different homes with different life-styles. Different rules than ours. Different everything and yet we have one thing in common at the very least. We are all human. We react to good and bad news on all sorts of ways. So after dissecting the comment I am alright with it. I can’t say I wish things were not different, but I understand.

How do you handle situations that make you feel uncomfortable?

1. Head on?

2. Walk a way?

3. Out of sight, out of mind?

4. Ask for help of others?

 

Temporarily Nutso


Can you believe that I am just now posting my first blog today? Yes, I pressed a few articles this morning, but to chat with you I have not. I think it is a first for me. Well my friends gather near and get ready to do a visual in your mind. Here I am, Ms. Innocent, minding my own business.betty boop

Yesterday was not really a bad at all. Other than tears and the usual pains, Al was pretty good. I had a nice calm day. It got later and it was time to give Al his snacks and his medications.

After he finished I changed him and put him in bed, said goodnight and don’t let the bed bugs bite. I turned the ceiling fan off and the lights and headed down the hall to my bathroom.

My hall to my bathroom is dim. It has little miniature lights that put off a soft glow. They are little cows and horses. Yeah, they are so cute. Well anyways, I was barefoot, which is very rare with my bad diabetic feet. farm animals

I went in my bathroom and was sitting on the throne. I was just looking around and then I noticed something at the edge of the doorway. Right where I had just walked past in my bare feet.

It was a spider. Oh my gosh, a spider!spiders_4aI freaked. I hurried and finished my business. If it isn’t a tree-toad in my toilet water it is now a spider. I don’t know how these two buggers got in but they are not welcome. I looked around because I was too scared to walk out the door now with that huge thing standing in the way.

Yes, in my eyes he was huge. I may be taller and bigger but he was huge in my vision. I grabbed my hair spray can. I got as close as I dare get and sprayed him. That sucker jumped and ran for my bedroom door.

Oh no you don’t. I am going to bed. You are not welcome in my room under any circumstances.

I ran past him without thinking and grabbed my fly swatter. Racing back to him I knew that I had stunned him with my frozen stiff spray. I went to swat him and I missed. That stupid sucker jumped again and this time he went under my dresser.

Now I was on a mission. It was him die or me, and it was going to be him. I had nothing at all to defend myself so I just kept swatting at the darkness hoping to bop him a good one. I saw him, YES, I see you and now I am going to beat you down. I swatted a good one. Strike! You are out. I was chalking one up for me.

You have to realize by now it is almost one am and I have to be up with Al in the morning so he can get on the bus. My bedroom lights are not bright. I have a lot of low glows in my room. I like a soft-looking room, a comfy look.moon 5

I looked up after I crushed him and there was Rhino looking at me.  What a lazy cat. He should have had his rear down here smacking that spider silly instead of me. For heaven’s sakes, I have to get up in the morning.rhino on Alvin's bed

I got up and went into the bathroom to get a nice big wad of toilet paper to dispose of the hideous creature. When I got back you will not believe this. That spider was gone. Oh no, I can’t go to bed with a spider on the loose.

Now I was on the war path. I went and got my big tomahawk flashlight. Guaranteed to locate anything in hiding. I looked and I looked but nothing. Where was he, he had to be dazed and dizzy as much hair spray as I had given him. I had even sprayed him with Glade air freshener. So he was dazed but at least he smelled good.

Well nothing and by now it is almost two am. I had to be up in six hours. I had no choice but to go to bed. I asked God to keep that creature a way from me, but just to help myself too, I left the lights on all night and my big flashlight and my fly swatter in hands.

When I woke up this morning I was still holding my weapons and I was tired. It was time to get Al up. I woke up about five minutes before the alarm went off. I cursed the alarm. I wanted more sleep.

I got Al up and fiddled on the computer while the shower girl gave him his shower. Then I had some coffee and a doughnut stick. I got dressed and as soon as I waved goodbye to Al on the bus, I was off to the grocery store. On the weekends it is hard to get out because it is difficult to take Al out, so I try to get everything in hand before he hops off the bus on Friday nights.

I came home and put everything a way. Then I started the JOB. The job of cleaning every nook and cranny looking for the hopefully dead spider. I cleaned the corners, the cobwebs, anywhere a sweeper or hose could reach. I moved my little pieces of furniture.

Nothing, no spider, nada, zip, zero. He was gone or the cat ate him. I was just putting the last of the loose ends a way when it was time to get Al off the bus. A day shot to the winds. No blogging, no goofing off, no chatting. But the good thing is; my room is spotless. But, where is the spider? Will I see him tonight?