Ideas Anyone?

I loved it that Al was chatty today, but I hate what is happening inside. We are becoming quite constricted on what Al can eat anymore. Solid foods are out. puree and mashed is in. Red sauces are out, causing him heartburn because he barely eats. Creamy foods, puddings and ice-cream and milk make his mucus worse, thus he chokes and coughs.

All I seem to be able to feed him is mashed potatoes. Tonight he ate about five bites of macaroni and cheese. He was able to eat it, but it was a bit of a struggle for him. He is so thirsty the past three days. He just can’t seem to get enough fluids.

I was explained to that at this time of his life thirst is a big issue. I am not sure why. If any of you know let me know please.

His arms are contracted so that they always look like he is praying. I keep putting them to the side of his body but they just creep back to the center of his trunk.

He didn’t do bad today. I didn’t hear much complaining. Mainly heartburn and his heels hurting. His heels are constantly on pillows but he is complaining of foot pain. I also was told that at this stage of a person’s life, with his oxygen level being now 74, that he will feel a tingle in his feet from lack of circulation.

What else will happen before he is out of pain? I don’t know, but I am hoping that some of you thinkers out there can help me with a more appealing menu for him. I will be going to the grocery store tomorrow or Sunday.

Thanks ahead of time. I know some of you will give me some great ideas.mashed-potatoes-520

Let’s Go Get Happy

How many of you are truly happy? Don’t really have any issues going on? Everything in your life is going as planned? I was watching this TV show tonight and the man who was in love with one woman  was going to marry the another  woman.

Yes, you get the idea. I was watching a pre-taped soap opera. I know, but give me a break. I have been watching this same show since I was in the 7th grade. It’s kind of hard to give up habits that make me drool and dream about what I wish was going on in my life.

Oh no, I didn’t mean I want to be involved with someone who doesn’t love me. I am talking about the fairy tale dream that I will live happily ever after with that hunk of a man who makes me melt when I see him enter the room.

When the hunk on the soap didn’t marry his love his daughter from another relationship made the comment that sort of hit home with me. His daughter said, ” Let’s go get ice-cream.” The dad replied back, ” Yes, let’s go, let’s go get happy.”

Is that all it takes to get  happy? Just one frivolous thought, a simple gesture like getting ice-cream? Of course, I could replace ice-cream with any word I want, but is it truly just a mind-set. A turn of the mind and everything is on its way to healing?

If this is true, then why don’t I toss my values out the window and go have some fun. Like getting in my car and going to get ice-cream.

ice cream wallpaper


Another Old Day

Please forgive me for continuing on the same topic day after day. I try adding some variety by writing poetry because I know I am digging the bucket deeper in the sand speaking about Al so much, but it just seems I can’t help it.

This morning I got him up and he had that stare face again. He didn’t motion to try to get up. No body parts moved. I immediately asked him if he was alright and would he like to stay home.

He must have feared staying home because he tried real hard to move but nothing went. It was like someone poured cement over him through the night. I pulled him to the sit position and changed his brief and out to the table we went.

I sang a silly made-up song maybe partially to deter my own sorry mind, but also to try to get a response out of his masked face.mask

Once he was seated at the table the first words out of his mouth were, ” I don’t want any breakfast.”

” Oh bud can’t you find it in yourself to eat something small so you can take your medications on a full stomach?”

He ignored me. I started rambling off a list of things he had choices of for breakfast.breakfast_menu_06 Eggs, french toast, waffles, sausages, fried bologna sandwich, toast, pancakes. Nothing seemed to interest him. Then I had to dig deep, and be creative. I looked to the forbidden sweets list. I named cookies, pound cake, ice-cream, donuts and cherry turnover.

Bingo, he stirred on Cherry Turnovers. I had been to the grocer yesterday and these were on sale so I picked them up for his sweet tooth. I thought, this isn’t good starting off with sweets, but what the hell. If he is wiling to eat it, then so be it.cherry turnover

He ate all of this and a small glass of milk.

I got him cleaned up and dressed.

The weather changed so quickly he had to wear a jacket this morning. I placed him in front of the television so he could bitch about the news. I cleaned up the kitchen and packed his lunch and put his car in his bag for his show and tell and when I put it on the back of his wheelchair, he was sound asleep.

I know there are no real answers about Al’s illness but I have a gut instinct. People say we should listen to our own gut feelings. If I do this now, I would have to say Al doesn’t have much time left. Therefore I will focus my energy trying to dote on him, making him as comfy as possible and I will continue to pray for peace and comfort as we ride this ride into heaven.amber-waves

Are You Drooling?

I sneak upon you

When I know you are weak

I play on your emotions

In hope you will seek

I know you think about me

Every single  night

I know you want me

So please don’t fight

In your vision  is when I come to you

You look at me with wet delight

But then you turn your head  a way

You want me my dear, you know I’m right

I offer you plenty, all you want

I give to you all my cream

You use your finger and take a lick

It is better than any dream

I think I have won, I think I can stay

You rub my rim with gentle hands

You lift me up and caress your lips

Go slow and savor the taste is cream

Written by,

Terry Shepherd


Poor Al

I am only writing because the day has not been good so far. I have kept in touch with Hospice so much today.

Al has had terrible sweats, so bad I have had to do complete bed changes three times already. Hospice also upped his increase of water pills because his swelling has gone from the ankles to leaving pit marks half-way up to his knee. He wets so heavily now that I am keeping him only in his brief for today.

He didn’t want to get up for lunch but I encouraged him anyways. He refused lunch so I offered him an Ensure with ice-cream in it. He couldn’t drink it so I helped him so he could get it down.

He wanted to go back to bed. With all of the pain medications today he is finally sleeping. I hope when he wakes up he is feeling a bit


The Meeting

Deutsch: Präparat zur Therapie der Parkinson K...


Sorry friends for not responding back about the meeting. I have done so much walking getting the two bedrooms finished my feet are burning up all the time. It is just going to take time to get back to where they were, I hope.

I went in to see Al during his lunch time. I realized that I am going to need a divided plate for him. I am not sure where I can get a hold of one of these that doesn’t look like a toddler’s set.

He does pretty good eating on one of these. He had Strawberry Ice-cream for dessert. He must have been getting tired from the main course because his tremors were keeping him from enjoying the dessert.

He struggled and the scooping of onto his spoon was hard. He was making a mess so I asked him a couple of times if he wanted me to help him. His answer was no. He could do it himself.

I was telling him that I would need to get a wheelchair here at home and he asked why. I said because you use that and your walker here so I assume you will want both at home. I don’t know how I said it wrong but he got instantly confused. It ended up with him in tears and wanting a schedule of when he would use what here at home.

The lady showed up for his outing so instead of dragging out explanations and seeing more confusion I left. The meeting came next. I took that deep breath and said a prayer and walked in. The three top office people were there.

I first explained the lunch experience to show his lack of comprehension when you are explaining something new to him. I also wanted to prove my point that Al doesn’t use me out of pity. If he did he would have taken the help with the ice-cream.

I went on to explain about the cookie ordeal where he ate all those cookies and no one seemed to notice. I discussed the issues of the nurse on duty and the chaos she caused the day of the nose bleed. I even blabbed about the dirty brief under his bed, the urine stained pad on his recliner along with mashed food in it.

I ended up making my final point by stating I had not brought Al there to be fixed. I told them Parkinson broke Al and we can’t fix it. I explained about how I wanted him to be social here but now the staff didn’t seem to have time for him.

I talked about the instability of Parkinson’s Disease to cause Al to go from good to bad and back several times in one day possibly. The more I talked the more they wrote their own notes. I told them all in all I wanted Al to have calmness during his stay there and for him to feel like he was worthy of speaking to. I told them that how the nurse disciplines her tough love in her own home doesn’t concern my brother in a nursing home.

The Social Services lady persisted with her idea of letting her bring a Psychologist in to see Al. I said absolutely not. I won’t go into the long story of why I refused. This would be another post in its own. I will say that I have had him to five professionals, top-notch and not one has been able to crack that hard shell enabling Al to release all the garbage that has been stored for years.

In fact it turns Al into a wild animal in a cage. It is dangerous and everyone loses in the end. She argued her point about antidepressants and I said that his doctors and I have had Al on almost all of them on the market. They actually turn Al worse. More drooling, worse tremors, it just isn’t good.

He does take one now and has been for a bout a year. I am for helping Al to see things more peacefully. But at the same time he takes so many medications that at this point when you add new ones there are severe side-effects. I have to weigh the pros and cons and right now because of past experiences I had to say no. In fact I had to tell her no three times before she gave it up.

She made me feel like a huge sinner. Well of course I do sin but in this case she made me feel bad for not approving her idea. Once again I explained I want him to continue his wheelchair therapy and his heat therapy. I hope that I made myself clear about his room and the verbal ways that Al deserves to be treated.

I came home and did a little more of the putting odds and ends in the right rooms, but I was tired and my feet hurt so bad. I just ended up going to bed and stayed there all evening. Now here it is almost four in the morning and I am writing this post.

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Can Anyone Teach An Old Dog New Tricks?

Cherry Tomato Plant with Lettuces. May 23, 2009.

Cream cheese on a bagel.

English: Mixed berries, dollop of light sour c...

I just hate to go to the grocery store anymore. Believe it or not I used to count around five bags of groceries for about forty dollars a week. These weren’t those flimsy plastic bags either, although I do use them for trash bags too. They were the paper sacks that were filled to the brim, like Folgers coffee, remember the phrase?

So I wish that someone could teach me a few things. I live in an area where I can’t have a garden. But I have heard of planting things in patio pots, like clay pots? What can I plant? When should I buy the seeds and start? What kind of dirt will I need?

Also, I eat  too much dairy according to the blood tests. But I can’t take sugars, white, carbs and dairy totally out. What would I be left with to eat? Veggies? Yes, they are good but do I want to live on them on my dinner plate daily? No.

Can I make my one sour cream? If so how do I do it? Can I make my own cream cheese? If so how do I do it? I am just curious. What makes me madder than a hornet’s nest is paying double price for organic foods. To me organic is what I ate growing up. Foods grown in the garden with no chemicals. Now, I have to pay extra to eat the premium health foods. This is why I want to know about the patio veggie plantings.

Can anyone teach me?

Daily Prompt; Ready, Set Go/ The Daily Post

Timer de Cozinha em forma de Tomate

Set a timer for ten minutes. Open a new post. Start the timer, and start writing. When the timer goes off, publish.

What? No time to think. A timer set for ten minutes with no preparation? I don’t know if I can do it? Let me think, no I can’t. I must ramble on and hope that this makes sense in the end.

It reminds me of when I go to an interview or maybe when I go to see Al. I know the correct answers. I know how I want to act but will things go my way? What questions didn’t I think of that this person sitting across from me in his gold-rimmed glasses  might be going to ask me? What kind of mood will I hit when I walk into Al’s room?

I usually like to have a basic plan when I set out to do something. Whether it is having family here for a meal, or dining out like the book reading today. When I have no plan, do I look like a lost puppy? Do my eyes give me a way? AW look at her, she is lost. She doesn’t know her way around or how to get home.

Nope, I like a plan. Even my tiny suppers here at home have mentally been planned for a day or two. Looking through the cupboards and the freezer. Taking mental note about what is maybe reaching the expiration and getting ready to commit freezer burn needs to be used up.

Today on the way home from seeing Al I stopped at the grocery store. I picked up lettuce, Roman tomatoes, some ground turkey and shredded cheese. Oops wait, I need some taco seasoning too and a cheap bag of taco chips. No wait one more thing, back down the aisles I go again to get the mild salsa.

You see I knew in my mind what I was going to feed myself over the weekend, but I didn’t have the paper list, so I ended up going down those lanes over and over picking up items. If I would have planned on paper also, I would have been in and out of the grocery store in a lot less time.

As I was getting ready to check out, I had to stop at the frozen ice-cream section. I read all of the boxes that said no sugar added. Did you know that these special boxes with less sugars actually have more carbs in them? It is almost better to eat the regular good stuff with a couple of more sugars because they have less carbs.

In the end I didn’t buy any. I told myself that I didn’t need it. I may be too tempted at night when I am watching the television and have a huge bowl of ice-cream instead of the normal size.

Well I have one minute. Now do you get the idea of how scatter brained I can tend to be with no prior plan. If I looked more in detail at my life, I would probably find this fault in other areas also. But on the other hand, I wouldn’t have so much fun going back over the aisles saying hi to even more people.

Well, time is up!!! See ya.

Daily Prompt; 32 Flavors/ The Daily Post

Insert Magazine 92 - Sweet Treat @ Chocolada

Daily Post

Daily Prompt

Vanilla, chocolate, or something else entirely?

I am red and white and oh so cold

I come in a cup and if I may be so bold

I do not share what I doeth eat

You will have to get your own sweet treat

I can actually cost a lot

I dig for change and give all I got

I sit in my corner all by myself

Looking as if I am made of wealth

I take a bite and my eyes do spin

I think it’s the lottery I did win

I let it linger on my lips

I know I know it’s going to my hips

I make each bite last oh so long

Inside my head I am singing a song

This is a treat for me today

To ride my bike along this way

To sit here in the booth, just me

This strawberry cheesecake is my cup of tea


Did you figure it out my friends? No chocolate or vanilla for me. It is the Strawberry Cheesecake Blizzard from the Dairy Queen Ice-Cream Shop