My Awesome God


Twilight in the Wilderness, (1860), Cleveland ...

Oh, alas I cry out to you

Oh my God how

Awesome are you

That you have listened

That you have responded

To my many prayer

Request. I get down

On bended knee

And thank-you

My awesome God

For never leaving me

Nor straying from  me

In a wilderness so bleak

And naked with no clothing

To cover my bared soul

For thou has promised

Over and over

That you love me.

Oh my awesome God

How can I ever thank-you

For no words do I have

To show my humbleness

And my deep feelings

For you my Lord.

Thank-you from

The deepest of my heart.

Terry Shepherd

05/15/2013

Life Sucks


"Kellogg" brand "candle stick&q...

I have sat down here two days in a row to write and can not. I am brain-dead I think, too much drama going on.

Al is having worse tremors than before. If he isn’t asleep the tremors are at full force. He wants to come home, and I can’t make it happen any quicker. Each day I wait for that phone to ring for the appointment to be made. This is the last appointment before he comes home and the phone remains silent.

I had a phone call last evening after business hours. It was from some collection agency wanting to speak to my brother. I explained that I was his guardian and he couldn’t speak for himself.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

They said they wouldn’t talk without the legal papers showing who I was. I said I would fax them, but then she told me it would go to another office and would be looked at this morning. I explained to her about the Hipaa laws and that I didn’t want just any eyes seeing private things.

She told me to fax it anyways but I refused. This morning I called this business and they had me on hold for quite some time. When they finally came to the phone they didn’t show any collections for him. They told me to call the hospital and doctor’s office.

I did this and still nothing. I know when I got off the phone last night it only took that one phone call to stress me to the max. I couldn’t do anything until this morning. I started fretting about what could be wrong. I always pay his bills, so what was up?

As I became more agitated I sat here at the computer and cried for no reason. I asked God, God can I put this in the worry basket of yours? I just can’t deal with anymore. I am tired Lord, oh so tired.

I don’t know if God took care of this or if this was a spam call, but there is no evidence of owed bills today.

I rearranged my living room and moved furniture into funny areas to make our home as open and wide as possible for Al’s wheelchair. My family is having issues that I can only be a good listener and a devoted Mom but I can’t fix anything.

I am just overwhelmed I think. The straw that broke the camel’s back was I do not usually go out after supper unless it is about Al or I am a tag-along with my son. I made special arrangements to deliver one of the pieces I sold from my antique site and the person was a no-show.

The gas was wasted and so was my mind and time. I came home and wrote an amendment  that from now on they have to pick-up. If they don’t want to show or have the guts to say they changed their mind, at least it isn’t my gas and time being wasted.

Wow, I sound like a harsh mean old woman. I am not really. I just get sick of crap, as Al would say. He says I am so sick of this crap. Parkinson’s doesn’t care if it ruins me. It doesn’t care if I spill my food all over me and the floor. Darn old Parkinson‘s.

I have to agree with you Buddy, some days life sucks.

Path of Life


A very dear friend of mine has shared this song with me. I love that some of you have come to my Facebook and asked to be a friend of mine. It gives me a chance to reach out and chat with others who may not suffer with PD. We all have problems of some kind. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but there has been a time that you need your friends surrounding you. A shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen to your woes.

I cried like a big baby when I listened to the words to this song. This is something that I try very hard not to be selfish, but darn, it is the most difficult thing I have done in many years. To sit back and not think of what I want.

I am weak and yet I have days where I am stronger than my worst enemy. But there is someone stronger than me. His name is Al. I have the opportunity to sit behind this screen and pour out my heart to you. Who does my brother have? He has his God. When I was cleaning his room the other day I was surprised at the wear and tear that is showing on his Bible. He uses it every day, several times a day.

This book that he goes to for comfort has torn edges and turned back pages. I imagine that if my brother goes before me I will treasure this Bible along with my hidden memories. I will pick it up from the shelf it rest upon and I will  hug it to my bosom. I will cry for missing him and I will cry for  his release from pain.

This song reminds me that each day Al lives he is nearing his wonderful journey home. To even write that sentence I felt the worst stabbing of pain. It branded my heart and sent tears to my eyes without my even realizing.

To lose someone is something we have all experienced. We send flowers, we show our love by going to the funeral home. We send cards and give hugs and words of encouragement.

But when it is all over, we sit in our own corner of life and we are forced to begin the healing process or we die inside. For me I am trying to start the reality of his journey ahead of time.

I have been in denial for a long time. I listen with intense burning at others words. I light candles for hope of a cure. I pledge myself for the cure of PD and I beg others to pledge along with me.

I look back to when my own Daddy was dying. I talked to every non-profit organizations. I walked for Light The Night for Leukemia. Yet God wanted my precious Daddy and he left this earth anyways.

This is the fight that is within me. The fight to never give up until the last breath is taken. This is where my pillar stands tall and the light on my candle shines brightest. I am going to lose this game, I know it deep in my pit. But until that day, that moment, that second arrives I will not give up. I will always have a glimmer of hope.

I will look at the heavens and cry for help. I will continue to come to my friends here at WP for added fuel. To God it is a blink of an eye in time, but for me it has been 57 years so far. If it be thy will Lord please let me have a few more years. But if you want him more than I do, I promise I will step aside and not stop you, but the tears will fall and I will be on bended knees and my heart will hurt.

https://www.facebook.com/michaeljfoxfoundation?v=app_448952861833126&rest=1

Type Terry in the Search Views and please vote for my brother. Help cure PD. You can vote once every hour until the end of this month.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/view.cfm?l=eng&c=18304661

Please go and light a candle in Al’s name, a group you will find with his name. Please light the candle in Al’s journey.

candle3path of trees

I Don’t Want to Walk Alone Through This


Alone in the Middle

Al has been dismissed from the hospital and back in the nursing home. There is nothing more anyone can do for him. They upped his nitro to the maximum does in order to try to keep his heart at rest.

Al’s heart is suffering from the tremors. He has CAD, and it is getting tired. On the way back home from the nursing home it hit me what the doctors had said. I started shaking so bad I had to pull off the side of the road and I cried like a baby.

I cried for my selfishness in the thoughts of  losing my brother. I cried for all Parkinson’s patients. I cried because I feel so helpless. The emergency push to get approved for him to come home has been given. The state called me today while I was at the nursing home. Now it has to be signed by a different area of the State and then a Caseworker is put into play.

I want him to pass a way here at home. I don’t care how hard it is to take care of him, I will not let him die in that nursing home or any other.

The doctor ordered a bed alarm for him. The nursing facility called me at the hospital and said they don’t want to use it because he will get mad at them. I told them, “This isn’t for your convenience, this is to alert you when Al stands up.”

“We just don’t want to use it.”

“Sorry, I don’t want Al to fall anymore than he is.”

“He has only fell here once.”

“Bullshit, he has fallen at least four times that I can think of immediately.”

“He didn’t fall two days ago. He was found on the floor.”

“Oh really? What was he doing on the floor?”

This argument went on for about five minutes and then I said,”I am his guardian and I say use it. No more arguing.”

His heart is suffering and he kept breaking out in clammy cold sweats all day. Many partial baths were given. When we got back to the facility an aid asked Al if he had to go potty. I guess he told her no. Five minutes after they laid him down on his bed he wet his brief, clothes and bed. When the aid found out he had done this she looked at me and said,”I just asked him five minutes if he had to use the bathroom and he said no.”

I told her it is the PD and not Al. I apologized but said,”He is wet and he needs to be changed.”

She got some help and the two changed him. The put a pad between the bed covers and Al’s bottom. She said she had a shower to do so she would change the bed later. To me this was wrong, but I let it go, he was dry for the moment.

He cried because he was embarrassed about wetting himself but I told him, “You can’t help it bud. If you could I know you would get up and go to the restroom. Please try not to feel bad.” I know my words fell on deaf ears.

It has been a bad day. I didn’t receive good news at all. Al life is being cut sooner than later. I am tired. Al is tired. I am sick to my stomach and I keep feeling the tears at times. I love my brother. I know he is suffering but I don’t want to lose him.

If anyone wants to help another PD patient not have to go through what Al does, please go to this website. Look under search or view entries and find Al’s photo with my name under it. He is in his famous red coca cola shirt. Here is the link.

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/2013/04/07/16-the-michael-j-fox-foundation-for-parkinsons-research/

You can vote one time every hour. Please help so others don’t have to suffer like Al  is.

 

 

How Much Louder Should I Scream


A Renault Kangoo that is able to carry a wheel...

The facts are simple. I know more at times than staff. I have 23 years of care giving experience. I have schooling for Pharmacy Technician. Experience in working in the pharmacy. CNA training plus five years of Hospice work experience. I can give shots. I can use an aspirator. I can take all vitals. I can give temperatures orally and rectal.

I can bathe you in a tub or in your bed. I can wash your hair and never get your clothes wet if you are laying on a bed. I can do a complete bed change without you ever having to rise off the bed. I can help you transfer to the commode or I can get your butt all nice and clean from a dirty brief.

I can soothe your soul by brushing your hair. Promising you I won’t leave you alone. I can sing your favorite songs while you are going home to be with the Lord. I can wipe your brow and wipe your tears. I will hold you while you look into the bright light.

I will fix your meal and if need be I will gently spoon feed you. If you are on a Tube Feeder, I will make sure it is clean, refilled and flushed. I can push you in a wheel chair or hold onto you while you use your independence walking with your walker.

For all of this experience and love and comfort I bring to you, I am not a nurse nor a doctor.

I called into the facility a few minutes ago to let them know I would be picking up Al tomorrow at 1pm after his lunch. I explained I will not be bringing him back until after the supper hour.

I have cleaned and scrubbed and  have the house as germ free as possible for your arrival tomorrow my brother. I have filled an Easter Basket full of your favorite goodies. I am now tired and the thought of picking up that forty pound wheel chair tomorrow makes me more tired.

When I asked how Al was doing they said alright. She told me, “We are going in twice every 8 hours to check on him. We ask if he is in pain, and we tell him to put his light on if he needs us.”

One of my blogger friends suggested I ask for a transport chair to bring him home and take him back, so I thought I would ask while I have her on the phone. She asked,” What’s that?”

The reason I gave you all of my experience is to  not brag or boast. I don’t do that. I wanted to prove a point that not always do you need a license in your hand to know two things. Number one is, What is a transport chair? With your license behind you do you really not know what that is? Number 2, how many times have I said over and over that Al doesn’t use a call light? Not because he refuses, but because he has already forgotten what I taught him two days ago.

If and when Al gets to come home I am going to ask Medicare to help us to get a Transport Chair. It will be much easier for me to transport him and not take up so much room in the car. Believe me, if I could afford it, we would have a SUV or something like it as the regular wheelchair barely squeezes in the trunk even with the seats laying down.

I Promise You I Do Swear


one fish, two fish, red fish ...

I know you promise all your strength

 

But tonight I am so tired

 

I look out my window and see the empty trees

 

And try to calm my body so wired.

 

I know that you my Lord have suffered

 

Ten thousand more times than me

 

But I feel weak and oh so tired

 

Can you see me Lord on bended knee?

 

I really try to do all that I can

 

To be a rock for him

 

To show him how much I really care

 

But to them I am no longer their fan.

 

They run and hide when I walk in side

 

I know they fear my face

 

But who will stand up for my brother

 

Who in this human race?

 

I put the world on hold for now

 

As I target in on your care

 

I will do what needs to be done for you

 

I promise you I do swear.

 

The guidelines do not match your case

 

You are in a league of your own

 

Why are my eyes the only to see

 

I will call in the troops that I now know…….

 

I promise you, I do swear.

 

Love you brother.

 

Terry Shepherd

 

03/28/2013

 

 

He Heard Me


The only thing you can do when a cardboard box...

Every morning Jake followed the same routine. He took the cardboard box and folded it neatly and tucked it in his special hiding spot. He picked up any trash and papers he found and placed them in the dumpster.

He would walk the two blocks to the nearest gas station. He splashed his face with cold water. Pulled his comb out of his pocket and went through his hair and beard. He scrubbed his fingers.

Leaving the restroom he would walk to his favorite corner carrying his guitar. Finding a clean spot to sit he would take his hat off and place it upside down on the curb beside him. He would begin to play hoping to draw a few coins in his hat.

Every day all three seasons Jake did this without fail. The change he would collect would help to feed him for the day. Jake’s life didn’t used to be this way. At one point he was living in his own home. He worked at a factory in town. He played his guitar whenever he wasn’t working. He had begun to pick up odd jobs playing at different bars.

Life wasn’t something to talk about but it was good. Then one day he walked into work. As he took his time card to punch in he saw the white paper clipped to his card. He opened it and read the most dreaded words. Friday is your last day Jake. We are sorry to have to do this to you. We are downsizing and you are one of the older workers so we have to let you go. Please stop by my office for any questions. Signed, Management.

Jake was never able to put money a way. He lived week to week. By the time he paid his rent and his utilities, he had enough to buy his food and gas. What was he going to do now? What was going to happen to him?

He went ahead and clocked in and worked his shift. After work he went to the office and knocking he entered and was told to have a seat. ” Jake, I am so sorry we have to do this to you. The company is beginning to lose a little money so we had to downsize. Please understand that we think you are a great employee, but this is out of my hands. There will be a two-week compensation check along with your regular check. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I will try my best to help.”

” Thanks Mr. Boss. I appreciate you being so honest. I know you can’t help it Boss. You are just doing your job. Thanks for the extra money. It will really help.” The conversation was over. Jake had two more days to work. He went home and instead of preparing his meal, he prepared his future by sitting at his table and praying to God.

Dear God, I have been given some bad news today. I don’t want to get all mad over this. I wish it wasn’t happening but it is. I don’t know what to do next Lord. I really need your help. Can you show me what a man my age can do now? Who will hire someone my age? I am old Lord, you know this. I may have not been a good servant and saved my money faithfully enough. For this I am sorry God. Now I have to lean on you to take me to the next place. Help me find a job Lord. I love you and praise your name always. Amen

Jake got up and started to fix his supper. After he ate he went in and bathed. He watched TV for a little bit but his mind kept going back to the Boss’s words. Finally after realizing he didn’t even know what was going on in the program, he flipped it off and retired to his bedroom.

He finished out his next two days of work and then it was over. He received his check and after cashing it he paid his rent a month ahead and bought as many groceries as he could afford to tidy him over.

He went to the different bars that he played in and asked if they had any extra hours for him but the answer was no. Just not enough business, sorry friend. For a few weeks he went out each work day and looked for a job but the answer was always the same, no, sorry.

His food was going down little by little. He still played for a few extra dollars at the bars but it wasn’t enough to help him stay a float. Each day he got down on his knees and prayed to God for help.

The day finally arrived he had been fearing. His money was almost gone. His food was low. His rent was now due and he had nothing to pay it with. He went to the local Salvation Army for help but they were out of funds.

Dragging his feet he walked the streets trying to figure out what to do. He saw the flower cart on the corner. A man was selling flowers. This gave him the idea to play his guitar hoping to get money.

Faithfully he did this every day. But the lack of nutritious food and restless nights took a toll on his body. He began to cough off and on. His lungs felt tight. He knew he was getting sick but he didn’t have any money to go to the doctor. He had been evicted from his home and now he slept in his car.

The weather was changing. It was  about a month before winter officially kicked in. Still he moved forth going to his favorite corner each day. On a chilly and windy day he was playing his guitar. He had gathered a few near him who stopped to listen and throw money in his hat.

He was taking a break and I think his body did too. He collapsed on his corner. One of the gentleman who had been listening pulled out his cell and called 911. Soon Jake found himself awake in a hospital room. An IV was hooked up to him. A nurse was taking his vitals.

” What happened to me? Where am I” Jake asked.

” You are in the hospital. You have pneumonia. We have you on antibiotics. You will be good as new before you know it”, the nurse spoke.

Jake relaxed a little and rested back on his pillow. I am going to rebuild my strength while I am here. I will be warm and out of the snow. I will get fed three meals a day. I just have to give this some time.

A couple of days after he had been in his room the stranger who stopped by to listen to Jake play made a visit to him. “Hey, I remember you. You were one of the people listening to me play. You put five dollars in my hat. I am so glad you stopped by so I can thank you proper for that nice donation” Jake said.

Kenny said, ” You must have been real sick Jake. You passed out right there in front of me. I am glad you are here getting help. What happened that put you to playing on the street?”

Jake explained his loss of job and home. Kenny listened without interrupting. After the story was told Kenny said, ” You know I am just a visitor in your town. I was checking out some stores in your area when I heard the strumming from your guitar. You play real nice Jake.

You know,,,,I think maybe we can help each other out. I need a guitarist who has a lot of experience and you need a job. Would you be interested in helping me out?”

Jake’s body began to tremble with excitement. A job offer, and doing what I love to do most of all.

” When would you need me Kenny?”

” As soon as the doctor releases you. I will make all of the arrangements to have you sent to my place. You will come stay with me in my hotel and then we will just go from there” Kenny said.

Jake shook Kenny’s hand so  hard it made Kenny laugh. ” Hold on there Tiger. You don’t want to get all worn out and have to stay here any longer than you need to. I will be back each day and see how you are. I want to thank-you for helping me out by taking the job. I will be back tomorrow. Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest” Kenny smiled and said.

After he left his room Jake cried from joy. He was going to be alright. He wasn’t going to be left to the streets to die. He was going to play his guitar, the love of his life. He looked up towards the ceiling and said, Thank-you Jesus. Thank-you for hearing my prayers.

Jake was smiling as he fell asleep. It was less than six months later when some people were standing in front of the appliance store. They were looking at the newest models of televisions being sold. One of the people pointed at the TV and asked, ” Hey, isn’t that the man who used to play here on the streets?”

Project


can you burn your feet while walking through a...

can you burn your feet while walking through a sunset? (Photo credit: Marc (alias willy whopper))

It is almost 6pm. My body hurts and my feet burn. I am getting older and I want to break down in tears and yet have no reason to.

I have this huge mess in the living room. Both bedrooms are torn up. I was to have help moving the bedroom furniture but as of yet no one has shown up.

I want to cry because I can’t do this work anymore myself. I get mad because I am so used to doing things on my own.

Please give me back what I had

I don’t like being broke

Body stiffens up feet don’t work

Then I think about my brother

Who’s almost wheelchair bound

And I dry my eyes as I realize

Others have it so worse than me

Oh I wish I was beautiful and outgoing and had zillions of friends.I would call them and tell them to come help me.  I have to get this project done or Al will have no where to stay when he gets here. You are right, I don’t know the date yet. But I don’t want to do this they day before because I can’t carry the heavy load in one day, let alone two.

Give me strength Lord

To make these feet move

Do what you do best

Give me a miracle

Give me the Impossible

Terry Shepherd

03/09/2013

It’s My Time


lost

She was lying on her bed surrounded by green drab walls and dimly lit lights. Staring out the small window surrounded by dingy white curtains. Willing herself to die. Only days prior she had given up on her life.

Filled with  tears spilling  over her heart she cried. How had things went from joy to sorrow. She turned her head when she heard the knock at the door. The nurse came in and suddenly tears flowed from the bedridden patient‘s eyes.

The nurse sat her chart down and stepped close to the bed and took Allie’s hands in hers. “It’s going to be alright honey. I know you are hurting right now. But you are not alone deary. I am  here and God is standing to the side of you”.

Tears poured from Allie’s eyes. “I feel all alone. No one cares about an old lady anymore. I just want to die. I have nothing to live for.”

“Oh please don’t talk like that dear one. Please don’t say those things. You’re going to make me start crying and how will that make me look when I go into the next patients room?”

The nurse checked the IV‘s hanging to see if the drip was still going at the correct proportion. She took Allie’s vitals and checked the entrance of her IV needle to make sure it wasn’t turning red or swelling.

“Are you comfortable little one? Do you want another blanket?” Allie shook her head no and then turned towards the lonely window again. As the nurse began to leave she said,” How about if I come back and sit with you after I get off of work this afternoon? Would you like that?” There was no response.

The room silenced again except for the occasional carts going down the hall. The television was on but she paid no attention. Every once in a while she would see a bird fly by.

She must have drifted off to sleep because when she came around she heard voices. She didn’t open her eyes but listened. Don’t we all wish we could change the way things end up in the end? It’s so sad when they are brought in here. By the time they arrive in this room it is just a matter of time.

I know what you mean. But the truth is that people just don’t know how to act or what to say at this stage. Their tongues get tongue-tied. They aren’t used to seeing their loved ones like this.

I know, I know, but it just isn’t right. These people shouldn’t be laying here dying all alone. It’s just a damn shame. I just want to shake the shit out of the families. This is one time that they need to step up to the plate and be here.

Allie laid there crying inside and out. She was so scared. Scared of dying alone. She didn’t want to leave her children and grandchildren behind and yet she couldn’t take the pain of barely seeing them.

The bell began chirping on her monitor. Nurses came running in. A call from the station was made over the intercom. Stat  code blue room 200. Stat code blue doctor needed in room 200.

In only seconds Allie’s room was filled with quick-moving staff. Blood pressure was taken and noted. The doctor said in a take charge voice,”Get the cart and hurry”. For several minutes they worked competently trying to save this life.

God wasn’t ready to let her come home yet and she was saved. After the staff was assured she was stable they left with instructions that she be monitored every half hour.

Allie must have been dreaming. She dreamed that she was going to see Jesus. But when she opened her eyes the drab green welcomed her back once again. Please Lord, please hear my cry. I am ready to come home. Please don’t make me stay here.

The clock on the wall slowed down and minutes snailed by. A minister walked into the room and for a moment stood at the end of her bed. He wasn’t sure if she realized he was here. Allie’s head turned in his direction. She recognized him from her church. Maybe he was coming to tell her it was time.

“Hi Allie. I wanted to stop in and see how you are. I wondered if you would like me to pray with you.” She nodded and he walked to her side and took her hand and the two of them prayed together.

It seemed like doves came into the room as peace fell over her. The drab green room turned instantly to a pale blue. She thought she saw the curtains blowing gently in the breeze. She looked towards the ceiling and thought it seemed brighter.

The doves cooing gently rested around her body as if waiting their cue to lift her to the heavens. The minister laid her hand back on her blanket. He smiled at her and she returned it with words, ” I am ready.”

“We all love you Allie. You worked hard for the Lord. I believe you will be rewarded in heaven for all of your good deeds.”

Saying he would come back the next day he left her room. As she drifted in and out of this life she saw vivid colors of the rainbow. Stars shone brightly over her, forming a path for her walk home. Arms of loved ones were held out waiting for her.

Allie smiled and her last words spoken were,” I love you kids.”

She was gone. The nurse came in after her work shift and noticed what had happened. She walked over and turned the monitor off. She closed Allie’s lids and straightened the sheet and blanket neatly, pulling the covers up over her patient’s face.

She walked out of the door and leaning against the wall she wept. Good bye my dear friend. Thank-you for giving me a few moments to see what a beautiful person you were.

She dried her eyes with her arm and walked to the nurse’s station. Room 200, she just passed a way.

Daily Prompt; First Light/ The Daily Post


Cover of "Guinness: World Records 2009 (G...

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Remember when you wrote down the first thought you had this morning? Great. Now write a post about it.

The very first thought I had when I sat on the edge of the bed was God. I have had some  problem solving to do the past few days. As usual it involved my brother Al and me and my own life.

The first thing I did when I awoke was pray. I asked God,” I still need help God. I need your guidance. You know how lousy I am at making some decisions. I want to be fair to Al and me. I know that I need to move forward, and I also understand where Al is at this moment. I pray dear Lord that you help me”.

I went about my morning. Making that first pot of hot fresh coffee. Using the lady’s room. Brushing my teeth, combing my mop of hair. I waddled out to the kitchen and poured the first cup of coffee. I lifted it close to my nose and inhaled the aroma that would kick-start my day.

I didn’t turn on the television. I always did, but for some reason this week I have left it alone until the mid-day news comes on. I sat down here at the computer and played my game first of all.

You know what? I think I am addicted to it. It is a free Facebook game called Candy Crush Saga. I just love games. I always have. Card games, board games, games where you challenge your mind. Hey, I have to keep my brain exercised at my age, right? I may just end up having the biggest brain in my nineties. Maybe I will go down in the guineas book of records.

I was answering comments here at WP and the phone rang. I looked to see who was calling and it was the call I had been waiting on for two days. A nice friendly chat started the conversation and then BINGO, God answered my prayer.

I was lucky and blessed. Sometimes I go days, weeks, months and years before I get an answer. We hung up both knowing we have an upcoming meeting next Tuesday. As I rested the phone back in its cradle, I immediately thanked God for answering my prayer.

I had no doubt if it was me or God’s answer. It was Gods. I felt lighter as I walked. I smiled as I went back to my comments. I thanked God one more time for making this chilly snowy day brighter.