FWF Free Write Friday


http://kellieelmore.comalien-homesick-outsider-quote-road-sad-favim-com-66010

I feel homesick for you

I don’t know your name

Or where you reside

I can see your smile

And the twinkle

In your eyes

I feel your gentle

Touch caress

My cheeks

Your lips

Cause the

Hairs on my

Arms to rise

Your soul

Penetrates my

Very core

And when I see

You walking

Towards me

My skin sheds

And melts into

Pooling ripples

Of love

I am homesick

For love a soft

Cushion

For me to fall

Gently and you

Take me in your

Arms and my

World is safe.

Terry Shepherd

05/17/2013

 

free-write-friday-kellie-elmore

For Always


What you feel

So do I

A love for you

From my heart

To yours

I feel your pain

I hug your thoughts

Although we are two

Our hearts intertwine

My thoughts

Are with you

For always.

Terry Shepherd

05/16/2013

English: Brother and sister sitting in flowers

Daily Prompt; Unconventional Love


Love, Wedding, Marriage

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Dp, Daily Post

Over the weekend, we explored different ways to love. Today, tell us about the most unconventional love in your life.

Photographers, share a photo that says unconventional.

In my generation it was common to grow up and plan on getting married and having some kids. Moms worked some but for the most part they still worked more inside  the home instead of outside for someone else.

The conventional love. The one everyone followed suit on. Even people who weren’t crazy about being married, got married because it was the right thing to do. Not uncommon in some countries but very unlikely here where I live was the arranged marriage.

You had your spouse chosen for you. A lot of figuring and planning went into those marriages. Many times they didn’t love each other, let alone know enough to be saying I do. Can you imagine what that was like letting someone bed you at night and you had no deep feelings for them. I can imagine that they grew to love each other, or they suffered their own hell.

Love and marriage has advanced so much today. People can love each other for a one night stand. Even say the words without feeling them for the passion of a fleeting moment. Some are infatuated with thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. They will fantasize about another married person, thinking if I was only married to them.

Others waste so much of their life by living a dream, hoping that one day that person will be come available, only to end up an old spinster, all alone.

I did the common thing. I married fresh out of high school. It lasted for several years and a lot of the years were good. But we are thrown rocks and feelings change. We become more mature and our needs and desires change.

Sometimes this leads to divorce or cheating for some. Others suffer through the relationship for the sake of the children.

I ended up being divorced, and married a second time, which was even a bigger mistake on my part. Now I define love totally different from  when I was in my twenties.

I have room for many types of love. I love my kids. I love watching the birds and feeding the squirrels. I love my brother. I love caring for others. I love knowing that I made someone’s day special.

I would love to see a man come driving through in his car and pick me up. I have given up on the knight and shining armor on a white horse. That is fairy tale to me now a days. Now I think I can love someone for who they are. What they bring to my life, how I add to theirs. Sharing some laughs and tears a good cooked meal or movie; is something I can love unconventionally.

I have learned I don’t have to follow that yellow brick road. I can be myself and learn to let my feelings lead me. Accepting ourselves for who we are is a major thing to do today. Not feeling like I have to be like everyone else is a big thing that took me years to learn.

Can I learn to love unconventionally? Yes, I think I can, and I have in many ways

Please


Standing in front                                                          http://youtu.be/JXmUYdOVJtc

Of the mirror

Seeing someone

I have visited before

But now red eyes

And teary stained face

Look back at me

As I miss

My baby tonight

Come back my love

Forget what I said

Words were spoken

Before it was thought

I don’t want to

Live another

Night without you

Please forgive

Me for hurting

You so

Don’t make me suffer

As I have suffered

Enough for the

Two of us

Don’t make me

Reach out to

An empty pillow

Please my baby

Please come home

Terry Shepherd

04/24/2013

 

green teary eye

Visions of You


If I could feel your tears

On my face

See you standing

Where you once stood

Hear your voice

Saying one more time

I love you, I miss you

I would smile

Just one more time.

Terry Shepherd

04/15/2013

Give Us a Beautiful Day,My Flower

I Don’t Want to Walk Alone Through This


Alone in the Middle

Al has been dismissed from the hospital and back in the nursing home. There is nothing more anyone can do for him. They upped his nitro to the maximum does in order to try to keep his heart at rest.

Al’s heart is suffering from the tremors. He has CAD, and it is getting tired. On the way back home from the nursing home it hit me what the doctors had said. I started shaking so bad I had to pull off the side of the road and I cried like a baby.

I cried for my selfishness in the thoughts of  losing my brother. I cried for all Parkinson’s patients. I cried because I feel so helpless. The emergency push to get approved for him to come home has been given. The state called me today while I was at the nursing home. Now it has to be signed by a different area of the State and then a Caseworker is put into play.

I want him to pass a way here at home. I don’t care how hard it is to take care of him, I will not let him die in that nursing home or any other.

The doctor ordered a bed alarm for him. The nursing facility called me at the hospital and said they don’t want to use it because he will get mad at them. I told them, “This isn’t for your convenience, this is to alert you when Al stands up.”

“We just don’t want to use it.”

“Sorry, I don’t want Al to fall anymore than he is.”

“He has only fell here once.”

“Bullshit, he has fallen at least four times that I can think of immediately.”

“He didn’t fall two days ago. He was found on the floor.”

“Oh really? What was he doing on the floor?”

This argument went on for about five minutes and then I said,”I am his guardian and I say use it. No more arguing.”

His heart is suffering and he kept breaking out in clammy cold sweats all day. Many partial baths were given. When we got back to the facility an aid asked Al if he had to go potty. I guess he told her no. Five minutes after they laid him down on his bed he wet his brief, clothes and bed. When the aid found out he had done this she looked at me and said,”I just asked him five minutes if he had to use the bathroom and he said no.”

I told her it is the PD and not Al. I apologized but said,”He is wet and he needs to be changed.”

She got some help and the two changed him. The put a pad between the bed covers and Al’s bottom. She said she had a shower to do so she would change the bed later. To me this was wrong, but I let it go, he was dry for the moment.

He cried because he was embarrassed about wetting himself but I told him, “You can’t help it bud. If you could I know you would get up and go to the restroom. Please try not to feel bad.” I know my words fell on deaf ears.

It has been a bad day. I didn’t receive good news at all. Al life is being cut sooner than later. I am tired. Al is tired. I am sick to my stomach and I keep feeling the tears at times. I love my brother. I know he is suffering but I don’t want to lose him.

If anyone wants to help another PD patient not have to go through what Al does, please go to this website. Look under search or view entries and find Al’s photo with my name under it. He is in his famous red coca cola shirt. Here is the link.

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/2013/04/07/16-the-michael-j-fox-foundation-for-parkinsons-research/

You can vote one time every hour. Please help so others don’t have to suffer like Al  is.

 

 

Chapter 17


English: Morning mist on Lake Mapourika, New Z...

Henry and Jane went out into the kitchen where his mom was writing a grocery list.

“What don’t you like to eat Jane?” Carol asked as she looked up from her list.

“Oh don’t worry about me. I eat about anything except liver and spinach. Those two things just give me the shivers thinking about them.”

“You don’t have to worry there. We don’t eat that shit either.” Everyone laughed and this relieved the tension a little. The two ladies put their heads together and picked out food choices everyone liked. Henry stood in the background listening and chomping on an apple.

“Are you eating again?” his mom asked him.

“I’m a growing boy Mom, give me some slack.”

“You are no longer a growing boy. You are a man with a wife and a baby on the way. Get used to it.” Henry and Jane exchanged looks and then asked if Carol if she needed anything else.

The conversation ended and Carol got ready to go to the store. Henry and Jane went out back and sat on the porch. They talked about when he had to go back to work.”You have to go back tomorrow already?”

“Yeah baby, we gotta have some money. Going to cost to feed us and the new kid coming.”

The two fiddled with each others fingers and started poking each other making laughter ring in the air. Carol came out and said, “See you kids later.” After she left Jane slid her hand down her new husband’s leg. He did the same to her. Soon hands were being placed and the two got up and walked in the house. Once inside their bedroom he slid her blouse off and then her skirt. He laid her back on the bed and for the next half an hour time slipped a way from them.

Getting dressed Henry asked her,”What ya want to do today? Anything special?”

“I don’t care. Whatever you want to do is fine with me.”

He grabbed her hand and led her out to his car. Giving her a smack on her butt she got in and the two took off. They parked at the garage where his buddies worked and they both went inside.

“Hey guys, look who I brought with me. Guys meet Jane. She is now my wife” Whistles were heard through the garage as his friends gave their approval. Once again they gathered around the famous table and talked.

“So you’re the gal we always hear about.”

“He never told us you were so darn pretty. Guess he was afraid to? Everyone laughed. One of the workers there couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of Jane. Jane could feel his stare burning into her flesh. She pulled her shirt collar a little closer to her neck and when she glanced at him he smiled at her.

“Is there a bathroom I could use?” Jane asked.

Kurt, the guy who couldn’t take his eyes off of her jumped up from his seat and said, “Ya back in the corner. I will be glad to show you where it is.” Jane glanced down at Henry but he missed her look and she ended up being led by Kurt.

When he stopped they were standing in front of a tall narrow door. Kurt said,”Henry never told us how gorgeous you are. You sure are a looker. Don’t worry I won’t try anything. There’s a lock on the other side of the door.” She looked at him and then went through the door and immediately locked it.

When she opened the door there he stood. “I thought I better walk you back up front. In case you forgot how you got back here.”

“I would have been fine. I think I know my way, but thanks for waiting.” The two walked back up to the group of guys. Before sitting down Jane tugged at Henry’s shirt. “My stomach feels a little funny. Do you think we could leave?”

“Sure baby. Well guys I will catch ya all later.” The two left the garage and when they were in the car Jane turned in her seat and asked Henry,”That guy Kurt, is he a good friend of yours?”

“Why do you ask? I don’t know him that well. He works here and he always hangs with us during break times. I don’t think he has worked here very long. Probably about as long as I have been at the bowling alley.”

Jane didn’t say anything. “Did something happen Jane? Did he make a move on you? By God he better not have. You are my wife and I would hate to have to show him who’s boss.”

Jane didn’t want anyone fighting, especially over her. “No, no nothing happened. I thought he just looked familiar to me. I must have run into him somewhere, maybe the grocery store or at the burger joint.”

If her voice sounded unsettled or strange, Henry didn’t pick up on it. “Hey, about going down to the lake for a while. The lake should be pretty quiet now. The weather is beginning to change. Maybe it will just be us. Wanna have some fun?”

Jane looked at him with that special smile and Henry pinched her cheeks. “Come on, let’s go have some fun.”

To Dream


Hand In Hand

 

To dream to be able to heal

To wipe the tears and sorrows

And bring hope to the world

For a better tomorrow.

To take a way all sickness

To take frowns and turn them to smiles

To walk this earth barefoot and naked

To be accepted for us just for a while.

For wherever we roam

Through what ever door we walk through

We can walk in with our heads held high

You will greet me and I will talk to you.

For each of us to have our individuality

To be able to say as we feel

Would be such an honor

And our mask we would peel.

We are here to love and be loved

To heal broken hearts and minds

To walk together step in step

Our lives becoming entwined.

This is my wish for the world for today

My friends and visitors who pass my way

To put fighting and blasphemy aside for a while

As we walk together mile after mile.

Terry Shepherd

04/02/2013