Wedding Vows


Wedding Vows

I come to you

My groom

I promise to

Love you

For all times

I promise to

Understand

Although I

Don’t agree

I  promise to

Stand by you

No matter

What tails may wag

I promise to love

You more than

I love you today

This very minute

I promise to

Make you feel

Always as

Important

As you are today

I promise this, I do.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

Oct.09/2013

 

bride_and_groom_changing_wedding_rings_outdoors

I Know This Kid


She sat behind the chair hiding. Messy blonde curls, thumb in her mouth. Listening to the two of them arguing. Frightened and not understanding she began to weep but no one heard her.

Someone was going to take her away. Sally was afraid. She didn’t want to leave her TigerAngelmommy. But, why were they both saying they were her mommy? She moved a way and hid in the shadows fearing the two women would know she was there.

” She is my child and you can’t have her.”

” You don’t have custody of her anymore. You gave her up. Now get a way from here before I call the police.”

Why was that lady talking to my mommy like that? Why can’t I go have my mommy hold me? I want my mommy.

” I am her new mother now, please remove yourself from my property.”

Sally wept harder. This lady was being bad to my mommy. Too afraid to move she huddled even deeper into the dark. Soon the door slammed and the new mommy was yelling at my daddy.

” What in the world did you ever see in that bitch? You must have been drunk when you slept with her. You produced not one but two kids from a woman like that. Were you out of your freaking mind?”

” Tone your voice down. Do you want the kids to hear you?”

” Not the kids, your kids. I married you, not your kids.”

I saw daddy hanging his head down. I saw him get his hanky out of his pocket and wipe his eyes. Mommy is sitting down at the table. She is drinking her coffee and looking out the window.

My mommy wants me but they don’t want me to be with her. My new mommy doesn’t want me and yet I have to stay here.

Sally came out from her hiding place when the room became quiet. She crept up the stairs and laid down on her bed. Sticking her thumb in her mouth she cried herself to sleep.

This my friends is something that happens so often in lives of children today. Marriages ripped apart. New marriages glued together in hopes of lasting a long time. Children not understanding grown-up things get very confused. Some feel like they are to blame for what ever is wrong. Some kids go into themselves and others escape by what ever means they can find.  A child can feel this pain and carry it deep within their hearts for years to come. I know, because I am this kid.

 

#FWF Free Write Friday; Fall Word Bank


http://kellieelmore.com/2013/09/06/fwf-free-write-friday-fall-word-bank/#respond

foliage – amber – wicker – aroma – sweater – cocoa

Rebecca sat on the big, white porch. Sitting in the wicker rocker, looking out over the lush lawn. Foliage of dark green everywhere her eyes wandered.  So many shade trees, too numerous to count. Long, winding pebble drive, throwing layers of dust as the rider raced up the path.

It was her beau. Coming to court her. Thomas was going to escort her to the afternoon picnic. There was a dance following. Rebecca was wearing her prettiest party dress.

southern bellShe could see him in his white pants. The ones that fit so snug.

Shivers went down her spine as she was going to be his wife very soon.man on horse In less than two weeks the front lawn would be transformed into a beautiful ball room. Streamers would hang from the trees. Soft orchestra music playing in the background as couples danced cheek to cheek. Champaign  being  poured like waters flowing from a fountain. Gaiety would be heard from miles around. . Here is where she and Thomas would commit themselves for the rest of their lives.

Her Papa was at the stables. He was gearing up the carriage that Thomas would be leading her to the social event.

Thomas  came in front of the manor. Looking up into her eyes he smiled. A beautiful picture framed his mind and he jumped down from the horse and went over and took her hand. Holding it in his, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

Rebecca could smell the aroma of his strength. His statue and power that he held when he spoke held her captured to his every word.

The buggy was brought to Thomas and he taking her hand, helped her on to  the black, leather seat. He jumped in beside her and taking the reigns led the way to what everyone had been talking about for months.

As they neared he paused the horse and leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Looking down at her delicate, long fingers, he caressed the amber ring he had placed their six months ago. He touched the soft dip in her neck.

” I want you to know darling, that I am the luckiest man in the world. I can’t wait for our wedding to be over so I can take you in my arms and make passionate love to you. I want you to experience what a man can do to show his love for his lady.”

Rebecca quivered as his breath whispered into her ear. He took the reigns again and drove on until they reached a place to park the carriage. Lifting her down and tucking her hand in his he led her to where the tables were.

Lined with white linens and colorful appetizers greeted them. Pouring her a cup of tea he led her to a seat in the shade. The over sized oak tree would keep her milky skin safe.

The two of them separated for a while. Mingling amongst the crowd. The music started playing and Thomas came to her and offered his hand, showing he wanted the first dance with her.dancing

Holding her tight around the waist the two danced to the music. So much in love.

Everyone was having a grand time. The weather was perfect. Blue skies with no clouds. Just a hint of breeze dancing through  her locks of hair brushing against  his face.

Time was ticking so quickly. Drinks had been poured. Foods were sampled. Drowning in romance and music.  Was it time to leave already? It seemed like it had just begun.

Thanking the hosts and kissing cheeks everyone said their farewells. Thomas helped Rebecca back into the carriage and together they rode following the stars until they reached once again the front porch.flashing star

He helped her down and took her sweater from the rear passenger seat and wrapped it gently around her shoulders. Cupping her face in his he bent down and kissed her full lips. This immediately caused a stirring within and he kissed her once more and then led her up the four steps until she was safely standing.

Their hands reaching for each other, only letting go as he turned to walk down the steps. He looked to her one more time, smiled and got on the horse he had ridden here. Riding away; Rebecca watched until he disappeared.

She caressed her neck and then touched the ring on her finger. Dreaming of what was to come she opened the front door. Her Papa was sitting at the fireplace in his favorite chair. He patted the seat beside him, motioning for her to come sit by him.

She seated and he handed her a cup of his famous cocoa and said, ” tell me about your evening. Was it everything you hoped for?”

buggy

Daily Prompt; Groundhog Day


http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/daily-prompt-repetition/, DP, Daily Prompt

In the comedy “Groundhog DayBill Murray experienced the same day again and again, stuck in a time loop until he got the day “right.” What day would you choose to repeat until you got it right? Do you think it’s ever possible to get life “right”?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us REPETITION.

I am going to speak on this topic from experience. I am stuck with the feeling of wanting to be perfect. The perfect child, perfect sister, perfect wife. The house must be perfect.

It sounds crazy when I sit here and read it back. I look in the mirror at my reflection and I can definitely see there is no perfect face looking back. I give very little to myself. I cut my hair shut so I don’t have to mess with it.

I used to wear make-up but when I think about it the reasons were for dating or going out with my husband. Now that I do neither of these, I guess I don’t care.

I can see my problem clearly but I don’t know how to fix it. In order for me to fix myself I need to be accepted first.

Acceptance that I needed and lusted after when I was a kid didn’t come. A broken marriage twice. My kids are great but it isn’t the relationship I so wanted and dreamed about. I wanted phone calls, home visits, get togethers and it isn’t there or barely there.

I work so darn hard at proving I am a worthy person I forget or distract my thoughts today a way from me. I figure I failed, so why bother.

I place all  of my energy in caring for others. I get a satisfaction from this. It makes me feel worthy and this enables me to keep moving forward each day.

I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to look in the mirror and smile back at myself. I don’t know how to accept my body for what it really is and not what the magazines say it should be.

I see wrinkles appearing and have a huge fear of death. It doesn’t matter that I get to go to heaven, I am still scared.

Dealing with Al‘s death approaching I heard him tell me Friday that he is ready to go. Will I get to that spot too? Will I feel comfortable in my own skin to ever be as bold as he is? Facing the stages of death has been a learning experience for me.

I see what Al struggles through with thoughts of the unknown. I would think this would make me stronger. Maybe it does but not in the right areas.

I have a lot of fixing up to do and time is running out. We never know our day of final breathing will be and I know in age I am getting older by the year. So many things I can not control.

Cleaning my house trying to make it spotless will never happen. We live within these walls. I can clean and go back and clean and nothing changes. It will be dirty again in no time at all.

I am really trying to change this. I haven’t swept for two days. I only dusted once this week. These are major changes for me and a real challenge to accomplish.

So there is no day of the week that I will be perfect. God made me and he knew from the beginning I would never be perfect. So why keep beating myself up for a goal that will never happen.

What I need to do and am trying to do is accept that I am who I am. Period, no questions asked. Life sure would be a lot easier and probably calmer.diamonds I would say that I am a diamond in the rough. I can shine through. I am a little rough around the edges. But I need some extra polishing.

Picture It & Write


http://ermiliablog.wordpress.compictureitandwrite2copy-1power-of-words

Being young and innocent

Free of all cares

In the presence of love

Nothing to stress

Life is good

Life is free

Love is wonderful

Alive every moment

Money in the bank

Jobs are secure

Isn’t life grand

The day after

You are married?

Terry Shepherd

06/02/2013

Mama Always Taught Me


Mama always taught me

To never be rude

To keep my mouth quietrose

Too eat all my food.

Mama always taught me

To turn the other cheek

To let mean words pass me by

To turn and retreat.

Mama always taught me

To be a lady and smile

To keep my elbows off the table

And to only weep for a while.

Mama never taught me

That life could be cold

That friends could  turn

That I would one day grow old.

Mama never taught me

How to stand on my own

To stand up for my rights

Honestly, I was never shown.

Mama never taught me

That my heart could be hurt

That the marriage could break

That I should stay awake and alert.

Mama never taught me

About sickness and death

How worry makes you old

That I should turn right and not left.

Mama always taught me

To love each soul

To help when I can

To make me a whole.

Mama never taught me

How I would feel when she would die

How empty I would feel

Or how to keep the tears out of my eyes.

Terry Shepherd

05/21/2013

Daily Prompt; Unconventional Love


Love, Wedding, Marriage

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Dp, Daily Post

Over the weekend, we explored different ways to love. Today, tell us about the most unconventional love in your life.

Photographers, share a photo that says unconventional.

In my generation it was common to grow up and plan on getting married and having some kids. Moms worked some but for the most part they still worked more inside  the home instead of outside for someone else.

The conventional love. The one everyone followed suit on. Even people who weren’t crazy about being married, got married because it was the right thing to do. Not uncommon in some countries but very unlikely here where I live was the arranged marriage.

You had your spouse chosen for you. A lot of figuring and planning went into those marriages. Many times they didn’t love each other, let alone know enough to be saying I do. Can you imagine what that was like letting someone bed you at night and you had no deep feelings for them. I can imagine that they grew to love each other, or they suffered their own hell.

Love and marriage has advanced so much today. People can love each other for a one night stand. Even say the words without feeling them for the passion of a fleeting moment. Some are infatuated with thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. They will fantasize about another married person, thinking if I was only married to them.

Others waste so much of their life by living a dream, hoping that one day that person will be come available, only to end up an old spinster, all alone.

I did the common thing. I married fresh out of high school. It lasted for several years and a lot of the years were good. But we are thrown rocks and feelings change. We become more mature and our needs and desires change.

Sometimes this leads to divorce or cheating for some. Others suffer through the relationship for the sake of the children.

I ended up being divorced, and married a second time, which was even a bigger mistake on my part. Now I define love totally different from  when I was in my twenties.

I have room for many types of love. I love my kids. I love watching the birds and feeding the squirrels. I love my brother. I love caring for others. I love knowing that I made someone’s day special.

I would love to see a man come driving through in his car and pick me up. I have given up on the knight and shining armor on a white horse. That is fairy tale to me now a days. Now I think I can love someone for who they are. What they bring to my life, how I add to theirs. Sharing some laughs and tears a good cooked meal or movie; is something I can love unconventionally.

I have learned I don’t have to follow that yellow brick road. I can be myself and learn to let my feelings lead me. Accepting ourselves for who we are is a major thing to do today. Not feeling like I have to be like everyone else is a big thing that took me years to learn.

Can I learn to love unconventionally? Yes, I think I can, and I have in many ways

I Pray


Same-sex marriages Foreign same-sex marriages ...

Same-sex marriages Foreign same-sex marriages recognized △ Unions granting rights similar to marriage ▽ Unions granting limited/enumerated rights Statute bans same-sex marriage Constitution bans same-sex marriage Constitution bans same-sex marriage and other kinds of same-sex unions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For the last few days gay marriage has been on the news and in talk shows. I listened and watched to the Katie show this afternoon. It had several gay families on it along with their children.

I listened intently to the reasons that gay marriage should be recognized in more if not all  states. It was heart-felt for me as I heard couples stating that they lived  the same normal lives that heterosexual families have.

I listened to them state that they want equality as regular marriages have with all the benefits of health coverage etc. I heard them profess long-term love for each other.

I heard one child state that he was pretty sure he was gay in his teens and tried to end his life.

The debate is huge and could be a large stepping stone in our century. It would bring around many changes.

I am not here to say whether it is a good thing or bad thing.  I don’t know if I can truly understand most of it since I am not gay or lesbian. I imagine love is love. Pain is pain and we all hurt in the same ways.

I pray for our country. I pray that God will allow what is good to happen in our life time. I trust that God always knows best. He knows our future as well as he knows our past. I pray for the President and the entire congress as the decisions that are about to be made are what is in all of our best interest.

 

Chapter 16


A spoon containing breakfast cereal flakes, pa...

The newlyweds went to their favorite diner and ordered. Friends came to their windows to chat. Jane was telling the girls,” We are on our honeymoon. Look at my wedding ring”.

“Married? Wow, you sure kept this a secret”.

“Let me see your ring. What are you two doing out of the bedroom”? a couple of friends asked.

“We got hungry. We have to eat you know. Just because we are married doesn’t mean we don’t eat”. All the girls started giggling.

The food came and the friends left them to eat. Every once in a while Henry would run his fingers up and down Jane’s leg. This sent shivers down her spine and she wished they were back in their motel.

He must have been reading her mind. He finished gulping his shake and started the car. She gave him her empty wrappers smiling at him. The car hop came and took their tray and then they took off for the motel.

Once inside the room his eagerness for dessert over took him. He went to her and stripped off her clothes. Laying her down on the messy bed he breathed in to her ears.” I love feeling your skin next to mine doll”. The rest of the evening was spent in passion and they fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning they slept in too late. They hurried and got up and showered. Gathering their things together they just beat the clock and made check-out in time. ” Wow that was close Jane. I didn’t have anymore money left to pay for another night”.

“I wish you did Henry. I had such a neat time with you. I never wanted it to stop. Thanks for a great honeymoon. I am starting to get nervous though. I really don’t know your parents and here I go right into their house to live”.

“Oh don’t sweat it doll. They are just like any other parents. Everything will be fine”. He patted her belly as he headed for the house.

The two walked in the front door. Suddenly Jane became quiet and let Henry led her by the hand. She stood waiting for him by the door as he carried their bag in from the car. She followed him to the kitchen. Carol was seated smoking and drinking her coffee. She was still dressed in her robe.

She glanced up at them and said,” Surprised you two are back so soon. Honeymoon over”?

“Mom I only had enough to pay for one night. Check-out was at eleven. We are both starving. We got up late and didn’t have time to eat breakfast”.

“There’s cereal on top of the refrigerator. Oh over there on top of the television is mail for you two”.

“Do you want cereal or I can fix you some eggs Jane”?

“Um, just cereal will do. I don’t want you to have to dirty up the dishes” Jane said.

” Smart girl there you have Henry. She already knows the rules. You dirty, you clean”.

Henry put the filled bowls down and went and got the mail. As they ate Henry opened two wedding cards. Money fell into his lap.”Hey look at this. We got more money. This sure will come in handy”.

Henry started to hand the money to Jane so she could put it in her purse.”Better hang on to that money son. The man handles all the  money in a house. The woman does the cooking and cleaning and wiping runny noses”. Henry glanced at his mom and started to open his mouth to respond. Jane gave him a sharp look and then turned to Carol. “You are absolutely right. The man is in charge of paying all the bills”.

” I say it again. You have a smart girl on your hands here. Better take her advice. You will have plenty of bills to pay living here. You have to pay your share for bringing in an extra mouth”

Jane motioned to Henry to put their money in his wallet, and Henry did this without further speaking. The two finished eating in silence. They watched the circles of smoke rise in the air from Carol’s cigarette.

After wards they went to their bedroom and shut the door. ” What’s up with her? I haven’t ever heard her talk like that about money before. But I guess I haven’t ever heard her mention money before. Dad just gives her money and she goes and buys the groceries”.

Jane sat on the bed looking at him. She was thinking, boy this is sure different from my house. Mom handles all the money . I see her give Dad an allowance every Monday.

The two laid back on the bed and watched television. During the time of commercials they kissed and fondled each other. Working themselves into a heat of passion Henry got up and walked to the door and locked it.

They were both naked and he was getting ready to score when a knock came at the door. “I need to talk to you Jane. I need to find out what you don’t like to eat. I need to figure out what we are having for supper. Henry? Do you have any money to help out with the food this week? We have another mouth to feed you know”.

Hearing his mom talk ruined the mood. He climbed off of Jane and covered himself in the blanket. “We will be right out Mom. Just give us a minute”.

Daily Prompt : Erasure


High School Sweet 16 Toast

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt

You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as though it never happened. What would you erase and why?

It seems in my opinion that the Daily Prompt forces your mind to go way back in your time. To dig up pain, hurt or embarrassment. This is not always a nice or fun thing to do.

As I sit here reminiscing on my past I wish I would have done one thing differently. I am sure there are several things I wish I could change. But I see it as mindless thinking and a waste of my time as I can not change the past. I must accept what I have done prior to today.

For this prompt exercise I will go back to the one highlight that I do ponder on at times. I wish I would not have given up on my furthering of my education. Why in the world was it so important to have a boyfriend? Or even think of marriage and bringing children into this world.

I chose the moments over the future. I know as a kid we don’t take the time to think a head. I am very proud of the schools today that encourage thinking and planning and keep with the idea until graduation day of high school.

I can remember going into the counselor’s office. Sitting down and discussing my tentative plans for my own future. I expressed my interest. He told me what classes to take and that was it. It was done and over.

It was such a small minute of my time that interest of boys was much more on the top priority of my list of things to do to make me happy. I did have sex younger than I should have. I did get married when I had plenty of time to do that. I love my kids to death but I would have waited. What was the rush?

This is what schools are teaching now. Wait, get your career. It is not a sin nor a crime to wait on settling down and bearing children. Now that I am older I could go to college, but I choose to be the caregiver I was trained for.

It is the monies, the financial stability that I lost. I get great satisfaction out of caring for someone. But let’s face it. It doesn’t pay enough to keep up with the changes in the world. Today you need to have a career behind you. You can not count on the happily forever married life any longer. Cancers have become a fear word as more and more young people get this illness. Partners and lives are taken swiftly and leave much sooner than we anticipated.

Now I have no one to lean on in my life. I have no big bank account holding all of my monies I have saved. I don’t have any insurance benefits tidying me through each month. For the first time in my life I am scared. Afraid I will be homeless. Fearful that I will end up in some state paid nursing home.

Why oh why wasn’t this taught in the high schools? I am not blaming them but kids need to be taught to not only look for a partner in life to share with, but also a way to protect yourself when you become old.

So in finalizing this prompt, I would say this is the biggest mistake I made. I can’t go back but I can hope that some young person reads my posts and learns something from it.