Endurance/ The Daily Post


http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_photo_challenge/endurance/

Endurance

Show us what endurance means to you. Is it that high-school diploma, beads of sweat earned on a long run, a treasured family heirloom, or something else entirely?

Memories will always be solid in my mind, burned forever in my thoughts of how we are born in innocence.

pink flowerfly 4moon3

 

baby Easton and Chloe

How Do I Get Through The Lonely Day


How Do I Get Through The Lonely Day


I thought my family was coming today so I made no other plans; but to my mistake I missed the phone call so I began to clean up the mess from painting. It is amazing how you are staying in one room painting. Rearranging furniture, wall photos and miscellaneous and yet the entire house becomes a disaster.

So with three rooms painted you can imagine what my home looks like now. Al would be upset…

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How Do I Get Through The Lonely Day


I thought my family was coming today so I made no other plans; but to my mistake I missed the phone call so I began to clean up the mess from painting. It is amazing how you are staying in one room painting. Rearranging furniture, wall photos and miscellaneous and yet the entire house becomes a disaster.

So with three rooms painted you can imagine what my home looks like now. Al would be upset with me right now. I keep walking in and out of there trying to make the room the way he would like it. He would be trying to listen to Bonanza on the TV and he would say something but then try his best to ignore me.

While putting a way things where they belong I run across other items that go in another spot. I had to find my automobile policy showing I was now covered for the next year. While going through the desk I found many papers on Al.

The tears started rolling down my cheeks. I placed them in an Al pile and will file all at a later time. I had a three-tier, plastic storage cart from which I had used in Al’s room. It held all types of bandages, medicines and such.

I cried like a big baby while sorting out what needed to be discarded. I brought the unit out and placed it in my bathroom. Out of the cupboard I pulled out another container that had medicines. I cried once again disposing of outdated ointments etc.

There was a couple of pairs of finger nail clippers and some files that the caregiver and I used for Al. On one of the pairs of clippers was the smallest of nail remaining. Of course after noticing it I lost it.

I sat down on the bathroom floor and bawled my eyes out. I miss Al so bad today. I don’t think I am ready to deal with anymore than just the painting of his room yet. Especially not today when I am all alone.

The first warm day we have  had and I have no doubt if Al was here we would be going antiquing for sure. Al I miss you so much today. I hope you are seeing plenty of vintage cars and coca cola in heaven. When is this broken heart going to mend? It feels like never.

 

If anyone still wishes to help by donating to the nursing home fund, here is the link.

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/k1d4/unexpected-2-expenses-from-my-brother-s-death

robin

Look Down Upon Me


 

Look Down Upon Me

Is not my heart

Able to be healed

When it has been broken

For so long. I weep into

my hands and my

body trembles

As I see your

Face and your

Eyes say please

Help me

I hear your voice

But can’t make

Out the words

I fall to the floor

And hold my hands

Stretched up before me

Oh hear my cries

Wipe my tears

Take the misery a way

Bring peace unto us

Take a way the old

Bring forth the new

Let the day begin

With the calm of the night

And end with the bright sun light

Oh hear me oh  God

Look down upon me

With love in your soul

And tears in my eyes

Wipe this time a way

But leave memories so dear

Amen

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

03.04.2014

indians

 

 

http://youtu.be/vEBvo8Y4ZIY

The Fields Tell Me a Story


Yesterday brought smiles to my heart

Love flowed freely all around

Life could be no better

Babies on my hips

Bottles on the stove

Supper in the oven

Love flowed easily

Our covers always mussed

Then one day I seemed to notice

The quiet in the house

John buried under the oak tree

The kids all grown

I look out over the horizon

At the fields lined in a row

The wheat whispering softly

Echoing present and the past

I wait here gently rocking

Anxious  for noise to fill the air

And then I see the familiar color

Of the link I once had formed

Three smiling faces and waving hands

Coming to fill my space once again

With love, new memories to build

And I smiled to myself and the tears began to  fall

I am still alive I can feel my heart beating.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

02.12.2014

fields

 

Daily Prompt; The Luckiest People


http://dailypost.wordpress.com, #DP, Daily Prompt

Who was the first person you encountered today? Write about him or her.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us PEOPLE.

The first person my eyes laid on this morning was Al. Yes, he was breathing. I stopped in the doorway and just enjoyed watching those lungs go up and down. I know he will be better off when he is in heaven; but I am on the fence.

The sister in me tells him all the time that he has my permission to go. But there is a little fight going on inside my head. The emotion and the reality. It is so hard to let a loved one go without dragging behind it sorrow and sadness, tears and broken hearts.sorrow

I gaze over the person lying so still in that bed and I stand in shock as I visibly take in at the huge amount of weight loss. My heart skips a beat as I see this MSA winning over his spirit.

Rhino our cat sits by my side taking the view in also. He rubs against me as if trying to comfort me.DSC00159 Rhino spent a few hours guarding Al’s bedroom last night. I know in my heart that he knows the truth as I do. Rhino and I will carry our sadness together one day soon. He will climb in my lap and I shall shed tears on his fur.

Floods of pages race through my mind as I replay all of the fun things Al and I have done the past six years. I will never be able to walk into another auction without thinking Al is by my side. I will smile to myself as I vision him going through all of the items for sale, looking for a coca cola item.coca cola flag

Going past a buffet restaurant will always bring a tear to my eye as I recount the numerous times Al made choices without any help.

I haven’t blogged about Al in a couple of days. There is nothing much to say. Pretty much everything is the same and yet there are slight hints that his time is nearing.

He is sleeping most of the day and nights now. He is eating very little. Each night at bedtime he request I pray for him to have God deliver Mom and Dad to come take him home.

Most of the conversations between him and me are when he is hurting or needing a drink. He rarely ask for food and when he does eat, it is mainly still the ice-cream. When his eyes are open, sometimes I wonder if he is here with me as he seems to stare straight ahead.

There is a peace in his room that I can not describe. It is as if someone other than me is rocking him gently, keeping him warm until the final call is heard.rocking-chair

Every night I give permission for Al to go on to heaven, as long as he saves me a spot. Those big, blue eyes look into mine and I know without a doubt he will do this.Al and Rhino 3

The angels will fly down and take him gently to heaven where he will once again smile.Angel_Wings__Animated__by_Iaenic

Tears will fall as I say my final goodbye, remembering he was and is the best brother in the whole wide world.

I love you buddy, don’t ever forget.