Merry Christmas From Me To You


I am sneaking in here on the computer for a few minutes to touch base with you. Al has not changed at all. He is constantly talking but most of the time I can’t understand him. His latest words are 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,dead.

Imagine listening to that all the time. He has asked to be taken to Indianapolis. Of course he is sort of out of it. He has said that his taxes are behind, and they are not. He is so scared of the dark, that he request to have his light left on all night.

He says if he sleeps he will die, so he does everything in his power not to sleep. I was up most of the night last night. It is hard to even sleep through the day because when you do not respond to him he starts yelling.

I don’t want to be this way but the thought of Christmas doesn’t bring a smile to my face. I just want it over. I am looking forward to seeing my kids but that’s it. I want to tear the tree apart. Shove it in a box along with all of the happy, pretty decorations and just call this year a mess and hope for a better year next year.

But to all of you, my wonderful friends, I want to wish you each a Merry Christmas. May your day be filled with joy and love and peace.

Hugs,

Terry

dancing snowmensnowflakestwinkling treenativity-scene1

Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge Round Up Week 3


http://hopethehappyhugger.wordpress.com/2013/09/26/michelles-weekly-pet-challenge-roundup-for-week-2-start-of-week-3/

Thank you to all who participated in our first week of the Pet Challenge.
For those who are interested in joining in, here is how:
All you need to do is to create a post with pictures/picture of your pets and link back here.
You can post pictures of your pets or even your friends and families pets,
or you can post pictures of animals that you have photographed such as wild life pictures.  
I have feeders in my front garden, and often birds will come and eat the fruit I have left for them –
such pictures are also totally welcome.  Basically, anything to do with animals will be perfect.
Please link back here and head your post as
Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge.”

rabbit

Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge Round


http://hopethehappyhugger.wordpress.com

All you need to do is to create a post with pictures/picture of your pets and link back here.
You can post pictures of your pets or even your friends and families pets,
or you can post pictures of animals that you have photographed such as wild life pictures.  
I have feeders in my front garden, and often birds will come and eat the fruit I have left for them –
such pictures are also totally welcome.  Basically, anything to do with animals will be perfect.
Please link back here and head your post as
Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge.”

Al and Rhino 3

The Sounds Of Silence


I know the reason

It’s called Respite

Needed for people

Who are caregivers

The air feels stale

The walls seem bare

The sounds of

Silence are deafening                                                  empty_house_by_scarlettletters-d3fenj7

What is not

Normal I do crave

The ticking of the clock

Pierce my ears

My eyes are heavy

But sleep stalls

As I lay silently

Waiting to go to him

For he needs me

But for now

I must rest

I must get ready

For the new day

When hopefully

He will once again

Bring these

Walls to life.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

09/17/2013

 

It Won’t Work, Now This Topic is Dead


I have went on and on trying to please this one and that one. Afraid of hurting feelings. Trying to do what was right for Al.

In the end I got the final results this morning. Al is too sick. His body and height are out of the guidelines.

I have deleted the fundraising post and the explanation post.

I will continue to tell Al that I will look and that I am aware of his wishes, but in the end unless a miracle from God takes place the topic of his donating any part of his diseased body is dead.

Thanks for listening to my frustrations, my ideas, and my apologies. I am sorry to ramble on. I was just trying to help someone I love.sad-face

Do I Have That Right?


Sometimes, like now

I feel like I have to

Know all answers

But do I really

Have that right?

Am I special?

Am I  God?

Why is it I

Can not be satisfied

That things I pray for

Are being answered

In ways I do not see

To be content and

Live the life I

Have been granted

Is more than

I deserve

So I come to

You my God

And pray for

Acceptance, to

Acknowledge that

I do not understand all

For only you

The almighty

Have all the answers.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

09/2013v_10_unsolved_mysteries_of_the_world_001_4fd4855e01ab2

Daily Prompt; Luxurious


http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/07/daily-prompt-luxury/, DP, Daily Prompt

What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us LUXURY.

There are so many luxuries in the world. I can think of some right off the top of my head.diamonds Diamonds,car show 10 nice cars,cinema owning a business,gold frame pic antiques,castle travels,Log cabin on a snow covered landscape, Steamboat Springs, Colorado, USA and vacations.

But then I had to break it down even farther. Now I am thinking luxury that I can’t live without.

What is it that you can’t live without? What about me? What can I live a full life without having in my life?

I keep coming back to the same things over and over.

I need beating heartmy heart and soul so that I may be able to interact with others. I need 101_0765101_0719-2my children in my life, so that I can watch them experience some of what  I have.

I need walk on trees skya sense of peace surrounding me so that I not only feel safe but can think.

But most of all, I need satanGod taking care of me. Protecting me from evil in this world. I need God to give me strength and patience, love and tenderness, compassion and rest so I can continue my care of my brother, Al.dscf4206book4

Dianne Cogar and Her Poetry


Diane wrote another prayer that I found so emotional. I feel she has so much talent. I can’t help but share her works with you. I believe she read my post about Prayer From My Heart. I didn’t ask, I am just thinking so.

Here is the poem she wrote after I posted mine.

Wish I Could Help You Though…

Wish I could help you through this sorrow
And calm your fears through each new morrow
And show you life beyond this pain
To ease your worries, to keep you sane

When loved ones leave they never go
Their memories stay and ever grow
But what we miss are tender things
Like a long warm hug and what love brings

I’d tell you life will be alright
To comfort you through each long night
But deep down in my concerned heart
There’s nothing sure that I can part

For you must feel the test of time
And believe that God will show a sign
That He is with you night and day
He feels your pain, and hears you pray

And never will He leave your side
For all His children he loves with pride
I only wish I could help you flee
From this broken heart to set you free

But I will leave that up to God
For by your side He’ll always trod
His tender touch will help you heal
Just embrace His trust and know He’s real

~D. Cogarlakeside_cabins-1749

The Cow Jumped Over The Moon


When we were little and couldn’t go to sleep we were told to count sheepcounting-sheep-karen-aune. If that didn’t work we could be asked to count the cows jumping over the moon.cow-jumping-over-the-moon While we laid there believing that what our parents said was gold, we would see shadows bouncing on the walls.shadows on walls Or maybe we would see big scary things under our bed.

Now that we are all grown up, what can you think of that we could do or see when we can’t sleep?

Maybe it could be images of bills.scary bills Maybe it would be stress at work.stress at work

Or maybe we would dream of a vacation together.laying on beach Or maybe a trunk filled with gold coins.TREASURE_CHEST_s Or maybe we would dream of our wedding dress we would wear one day.wedding dress

What would put you to sleep quickly and have a restful night?

Weekly Photo Challenge, Theme of the Week


catching-fly-12919722I spend a lot of time at home. I admitted yesterday on a post that I wrote that I can get deep into my zone by cleaning. Yes, I know it still sounds just as crazy today as it did yesterday.

But, I will have to let you in on a little secret, I don’t get off on cleaning the entire time I am at home. Sometimes I will bake some cookies and take them in for Al to munch on. But that idea is fading a way. Most times when I go in now and check his drawer of sweets, they are still sitting there.

The day I see that Al has not touched Pop Tarts, one of his favorites, I know the Parkinson’s Disease has truly consumed him. They are still sitting there unopened.

Sometimes I like to get on U Tube and listen to songs. If I think they are pretty awesome, I will transfer them to my web blog, Music That Calms The Soul. There are other times that the stress of Al and the sadness he endures just plain old makes me tired, and I will nap my afternoon a way.

But, now, I have someone else to keep me company. Rhino, my 25 pound cat. He is so fat and I have to say lazy, that if he wants something; it has to come to him within paw’s reach.

Last night he shocked me. I heard my antique bells on the front door. My first thought was that my son’s children had sneaked in to surprise me. I flipped around from my computer desk and lo and behold it was Rhino.

The flies must have really gotten on his cat nerves. He had tried to attack them through the screen. Luckily for me he didn’t indent the screen. He just knocked the front door back a bit and made the bells ring.

Gee, I hope he doesn’t find this entertaining and learn that he can make bells go off and make my own bells go off in my head. It was a quiet night. I had Mash on the television in the background. It was just Rhino and me.

I didn’t realize it but for at least a half an hour I watched and waited for Rhino to do his magic act and let me see him in motion. This is something I don’t see often. He either meows for wanting to be petted, or he is eating.

Even you can get some joy from this. As Ma says in the Golden Girls Sitcom, picture it, 2013, a very quiet house. No noise but the keyboard and Mash. Bells go off and as I flip around I see a 25 pound flying cat doing the disco song to , I’m gonna get you nasty fly.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com,Weekly Photo Challenge ,“postaday″