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What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?
I have heard more than once that my posts are inspirations to some of my readers. This warms my heart that I can do this from my soul to your heart. I am not usually a comedian in my writing. I am mostly a writer of actual life. I feel like I can slip my soul into another human and understand a little of what they are feeling, but things were not always like this. I am not a mind reader or a psychic. I just believe I have the ability to feel with compassion from my own lessons in life.
One particular lesson is what I want to talk about this morning. I was brought up in church. I did the common things that other kids do. I accepted Christ. I went to church camps. My parents made sure my friends were church going families. Then I grew up and drifted in and out of church as a drifter rides the prairies.
I am not proud to say that I have been married twice and divorced twice, but it is what it is. The first marriage broke my trust in men especially and the second marriage pushed my limits on who I was in the world.
My second marriage was a long haul of misery and disappointment. Emotional and some physical abuse. I played tag with God constantly. I would pray when things were so bad that even tears would not relieve my pain. The next day I would toughen up and believe that I could fix everything by myself.
I had started at the top of the hill with a home and a family and ended up in the banks under the bridge. I had let this second marriage destroy all of the confidence I had in life. I allowed this second husband to help me believe that I was a worthless wadded up piece of paper tossed along the side of the highway.
The only thing I did that was repetitive was to play the tag game with God. Each day I walked into the mornings believing this was the day the changes would occur. I had figured out the problems and I was going to fix it. But you know what? I couldn’t do it.
By the time I finally had the guts to leave the marriage it wasn’t me making the decisions. It was my three children and although I didn’t realize it, God had a helping hand in this also. When I moved out I took all of my belongings. I had no furniture unless you want to place my little shelf stereo in this category. I had no food but I had the cookware. I had no car but took the so-called car that my husband had said he bought for me but he later argued the point.
I moved into a box size apartment and from that moment on everything fell into place. I was able to purchase food and take a shower. I had a couch and a bed and even a kitchen table. I acquired a job that paid my rent and utilities. Then there was the beat up old car that didn’t fit in my tiny drive way and didn’t run very often.
I still needed help. I needed something dependable to help me keep my new job. This all happened when the PT Cruisers came out on the market. Every time I saw one I would stare at it until it was out of sight.
I knew I could not have one. I had no credit. I had no real money yet. I had recognized by now through my foggy eyes that God was truly my father and he had helped me to escape this marriage and put me where I was.
I started watching Joyce Meyers on television. I loved her and still do. I ordered her books even though I didn’t have the extra funds. I read and read and started reading my bible again. Every word she said sunk into my soul. I started believing in God again with full force. I started to believe in myself again.
One day I got on my knees and I prayed with an open heart and mind. I poured out my thanks to God. I poured out my sins to him and I asked for his forgiveness. At the end of the prayer I explained to God how I felt I needed a different car. Not a new car, just a dependable car.
The selfish part of my human mind added a little joke in their with some laughter. I told him that if I could have the car of my dream it would be a silver PT Cruiser. I ended my prayer and felt better than I had in days. I felt so close to God. I trusted him.
It was one of my days off from work and the weather was crappy. Christmas had just ended and in a couple of days it was going to be New Year‘s Eve. I felt restless in my little box. I needed fresh air. I needed to see life. I got in my old car and prayed it would start and it did.
I was driving through town and out of no where a thought came into my mind. I was just getting ready to pass this big car lot. The thought came so fast that I almost missed my turn for pulling in.
The long story made short is after a few hours I walked out of the salesman office with a silver PT Cruiser. The keys were in my hands. The payments were in my range. There has never been a day since then that I have turned my back on God.
I won’t lie. With the illness my brother suffers from there have been times I have questioned God. Not that there is a God but why wasn’t he making things better. But I refuse to ever believe there is no God. This is not because I got the car of my dreams. It is because he took a broken soul from under the bridge and lifted her up into his hands. He guided me, strengthened me and led me to a point I knew I was worthy once again. I will always be in his debt. I can never do anything to thank him enough for bringing me back to him.
This was a surreal experience for me. One that has changed my life forever. This is one of many experiences that allows me to write short stories and poetry that to some can be an inspiration.
- Daily Prompt: Whoa! It Was Awesome (layedbacklife.wordpress.com)
- Take Time to Pray (christianstepmom.wordpress.com)
- Whoa! (rolbos.wordpress.com)
- Daily Prompt: Whoa! (jdcgzm.wordpress.com)
- Daily Prompt: Plead the Fifth (prettywitgla33es.wordpress.com)
- Sitting in the cockpit of the Eurofighter!!!! (livelovelifealways.wordpress.com)
- Grumpy Pants (themoosehouse.wordpress.com)
- Daily Prompt: Childhood Revisited (angieinspired.wordpress.com)
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