Return


Walking down the dirty streets, hands in pockets. Kicking a few pebbles to see how far they could go. Paid his debt to the run-down rooming house he had taken up space in the night before.

He’d been transferred home due to a medical injury. A back injury. An actual stupid mistake. Tripped over his own two feet; coming down hard and twisting the wrong direction.

He could still walk but the column in his back was like a bomb getting ready to explode. The wrong direction, and bam, paralysis could be a new word in his vocabulary. From the diagnosis, he was packed and titled useless, and sent home.

Jim had run a way from home once before now being forced to return to his roots. But what roots were there to return to? He had been a kid when he left. He got a girl knocked up and got scared.

His parents said, “marry her” but he didn’t want to. He wasn’t ready to get married, so he ran. He enlisted, he planned to wipe out those bad things he had done and replace them with heroism.

For years he hadn’t given a thought to his past. Now with money in his pocket and nowhere to go he wondered the streets. Walking past his folks home he stopped. Looking at an x-ray of what once was years ago.

He hadn’t stayed in touch with his parents. He didn’t have any real reason. He just wanted to put it all to rest. Pretend it had never existed. The shame he carried of what he had done to that girl’s life haunted him now as he saw himself walking out the front door and heading down the street to see his girl.

He picked up his stride and ended up leaning against the same oak tree that he had first kissed her. That kiss had melted him like warm, gooey, hot fudge running down ice-cream.  He smiled to himself as he thought back to that moment. He wondered whether she still lived around here. Was she married, what happened to the kid?

He mentally kicked himself. What a coward he had been. He should have married her just like his parents said to do. At least he would have known the ending. A tear fell from his eye as he thought of the kid and wondered boy or girl. What did they look like today.

He stood upright and started to leave when a young girl came running out of that house. Long blonde pig tails, slender, a big smile on her face. Could that be her? Did his girl still live here?

He watched her as she skipped down the sidewalk. Where ever she was headed she was happy to be going. When he couldn’t see her anymore he took off walking again. He walked back towards town.

He went into the same doors that he had bought her hamburgers and malts. He sat down in the same booth they had once shared. He stared out the window as he waited for the waitress to come take his order.

Emotional pain was running through his veins. Being shoved back into the past hurt more today than the day he looked around and whispered goodbye to his home town. A voice said, ” do you need a menu?”

He turned towards the voice and looked into the eyes that he once knew so well. Silence was thick as they each had recognition of each other. Taking her waitress cap off and tucking her pencil and pad into her apron she sat down beside him.

The two were the only ones in the room as the world became quiet. They both opened their mouths to speak at the same time.meeting http://youtu.be/iIpfWORQWhU

 

 

 

The Ruined Summer


” I can’t believe you just said that to me. Go a way. Leave me alone. I never want to see you again.” Rose wept into her hands. Her legs were wobbling and she knew she was about to collapse to the ground. She didn’t want Jason to see her in that position. Crying in front of him was humiliating enough.

Jason ignored her pleas and came over to her and put his arm around her. As his arm touched her shoulder Rose’s body jolted and her hand came up slapping him across the face. ” I said, leave me alone. You are nothing but scum. I trusted you. How could you do this to me?

Oh God, it’s no big deal. People do it all the time. You don’t see any of your other friends acting totally insane like you do you?”

” What? What are you saying? I am not like other people. I am Rose and no one else. I am not trying to win population votes here. I loved you Jason. You said I was the only one and now I find out through gossip that you were with another last night.”

” So, it is no big deal. That other girl means nothing to me. In fact, if you want to know the truth, she sort of forced herself on me. I think she slipped something in my drink last night. You know I would never hurt you intentionally don’t you?”

Once again he walked closer to her and took his arms and placed them around her waist. Rose looked up into his icy-blue eyes. She saw no regrets. Mirrors of laughter reflected back at her. Mocking and laughing at her for being so foolish and the biggest fool.

She gathered up all of her strength and drew her knee up landing him good right in the male  parts. This knocked him down to the ground. He rolled from side to side in pain. Next he came back to his senses and stood up brushing dirt off of his pants.

” No one gets a way with trying to  hurt me. Rose, you will pay for this. You will pay for this good. I will ruin you. I will destroy what little reputation you have. You will regret ever kneeing me. You will see.”

He started to walk a way and he then turned back as he heard her voice.

” No Jason, I will be the one ruining your precious reputation. For if I find out that I am pregnant I will tell everyone what you did to me. I will call the police and have you arrested for  rape. I will tell your parents. If I am pregnant, you will pay dearly for the rest of your life. No, it will me that destroys you. Don’t you ever forget it.”

He turned around and walked a way, shaking his head at her rude comments. Who did she think she was threatening him like this. He was the Captain of the Basketball team. He was on the honor roll. His parents owned two businesses in town. She was such a loser.

Rose walked a way never looking back in his direction. She couldn’t believe she had bought that crap that he loved her. She had been saving herself for the right person. He had told her everything she had ever want to hear. They had spent the entire school year together every minute. To know that he was screwing around on her behind her back was the worst thing that had ever happened to her.

She went through the front door and up the stairs to her bedroom. She threw her clothes off and started the shower. Getting in the hottest water her body could handle she scrubbed until her skin was bright red.

She wanted nothing more than to start her life all over. To wash any memories of where he had touched her. As she stood in the steamy shower she hoped and prayed this didn’t lead to anything worse than the fight they had just had.lily

Chapter 21


John Cena and Mark Henry

Henry walked into the drug store. He bought the supplies needed and paid for them. Driving back home he was thinking about his wife. He would check on her first thing and then patch the wall.

When he walked into their bedroom, she wasn’t lying there. He went to the bathroom and there she was soaking. She looked so cute all covered with bubbles. He leaned down and kissed her on the nose.

“You feeling better doll?”

“Yes, the warm water feels real good on my aching body. Where you been?”

“Oh, I went into the hardware store and bought some patch for the wall. Figure I better take care of the damage before Dad sees it.”

She smiled up at him. “Thanks for rescuing me Henry. I don’t know what is wrong with that guy. He better get it fixed though.”

Neither of them said anything. Henry left her to finish and went to patch the wall. Soon Jane walked in and the two inspected his work. “Looks real good Henry. I can’t even see where the hole was. You did a good job.”

He gave her a squeeze and she pulled back a little. There was still some evidence of the fight left behind.  He led her to the bed and they laid down. He took her in his arms and held her. His body heat felt good next to her and she turned in his direction.

He kissed her nose lightly. She returned it by kissing him on the lips. Parting her lips she let him explore farther and soon the two forgot about the fight and the wall. Afterwards  they lay there both in their own thoughts.

Henry sat up and lit a cigarette. He offered her one but she refused. “I am not going to smoke anymore Henry. I have to do what’s best for the baby.” She patted her belly and placed his hand over her hand. “A wonderful thing happened when I was in the tub. I felt the baby kick.”

Henry put his cigarette out and bent down and put his ear to her stomach. He listened but heard nothing. He didn’t feel anything. “It doesn’t do it all the time silly. I just felt it once myself.”

“Wow, a living thing. I made that all by myself. You know  he or she, is going to look just like me.”

“Um, my dear Henry, I hate to tell you but I had something to do with this too. It is very well that this tiny baby could look just like me. Or better yet, maybe it will look like the both of us.”

Henry started laughing and said,”Well, maybe it will have your eyes and my fine wavy hair.” The two of them broke out in laughter and then they got up and started to redress. They walked out into the kitchen and saw him Mom sitting at the kitchen table. She was having herself a cup of coffee.

“Mom, you alright? Do you hurt anywhere?” Carol replied, “No, I am alright, but if that son-of-a bitch comes back in this house I will call the cops.”

“It’s ok Mom. I already warned him. I don’t think he will have the guts to show back up here again.”

Henry and Jane sat down at the table. Carol looked at Jane and asked,”You alright? Did you get hurt in any of this?”

“No not really. Henry saved me from getting hurt. I don’t know what I would do without him. He is just the best man all around.”

“Well he is lucky. Lucky that I didn’t have a whack at him.” They all had a good laugh over that as they realized Carol couldn’t really hurt him unless she got a hold of her iron skillet first.

Henry looked at his watch and saw he only had an hour before he had to be at work. He stood up leaving the women to sit and chat and went in to take a bath. Carol and Jane sat in silence at the table. Neither of them seemed comfortable in each others presence.

After a few moments Carol spoke. “You know Jane, we never ever had any trouble like this before. I don’t know what kind of friends you have, but I suggest you keep them a way from my house. I don’t allow stuff like that to go on here. We are a nice family and I don’t want any cops around this place.”

“Carol, I swear this Kurt guy, he isn’t any friend of mine. He isn’t even a friend of Henry’s.”

“Then how did he end up here?”

Silence once again fell and Jane got up and walked back to her room. Henry was finishing getting dressed and he glanced her way. She walked past him and laid down on the bed. She was tired. She just wanted to sleep. With Henry going to work, she all of a sudden felt real lonely.

Henry was too busy trying to get out the door and not be late for work. He bent down and gave her a quick kiss, and when he walked out of the door, she never felt more alone. She turned over and wept into her pillow thinking back to what Carol had said.

Chapter 7


Henry and Jane got in his car and drove the distance to his parents. It was awful quiet inside the car as each were deep in thought about how this was going to go. Henry’s parents were hard. They didn’t give a shit about other people. They were always wrapped up in what there was to gain for themselves.

The car engine shut off and the two glanced at each other. Henry reached over and patted her hand.”Come on, let’s go in and get this over. What’s the worst they can do, yell”. He smiled at her with those big blue eyes, and she put a tiny curve at the edge of her lips. They both got out of the car and walked in the front door.

The neighbor was visiting and Henry and Jane walked past them and straight to the kitchen. Henry opened the refrigerator and grabbed a soda and popped the tap off. He took a big swig and then handed it to Jane. She wasn’t thirsty as  much as she was nervous, so she took a sip and then handed it back to him.

George came out to the kitchen and asked, ” What you two up to? Surprised to see you here. Something wrong or are you just stopping by to raid the ice-box”? Henry gazed at Jane and then turned to look at his dad. ” We got to talk dad. We got something important to tell you”.

George looked at him while grabbing himself a beer out of the fridge. He walked past them without saying anything and went back to the living room where the two gabby ladies were sitting. ” Henry says he needs to tell us something real important Carol. You might want to put a lid on this conversation so we can hear what he’s got to say”. Carol looked a little embarrassed at her friend, but suggested they put a hold on this talk and save it for tomorrow. She walked her to the door and then came back and sat down in her favorite chair.

She said, “What’s this all about? You better not have done anything. Are you in trouble with the law Jane”? Jane walked in the living room and sat as far opposite from Carol as she could get. Henry sat in front of her on the floor. ” Nah mom, Jane hasn’t done anything against the law, and neither did I. Calm down mom. You don’t want to cause your heart to flutter”.

“Then what is it Henry”? George said. “Spit it out, we have to get ready here soon. There is a square dance tonight that we want to go to”. Henry coughed and then said, ” I asked Jane here to marry me tonight. She said yes and you and mom are going to be grandparents”.

Carol’s head fell back against her chair and she was fanning her face with her hankie. Her face was becoming pale. George was watching his wife and then looking at the two of them he said,” When ya getting married? Where you two going to live? Henry, your job isn’t going to pay enough to take care of you, let alone a woman and a kid. You best be planning on just moving in here in the spare bedroom”.

Pinhole_Drive_In

Carol was still remaining quiet. Inside she was thinking, this is so embarrassing. What are my friends going to say. How am I going to show my face to the neighbors. Girl knocked up and not even dry behind the ears. I guess I better take a look at those drawers in the bedroom to see if there is going to be enough space for her things.

Henry said,” We are going to get married in two weeks. This will give me enough time to find a better job and get a pay check before we make this thing right”. George nodded his head in agreement then said, ” Your mom and I will move all the things that are not needed out of the spare bedroom and put it in your bedroom Henry. Your room is smaller than the spare, so this will be your new room”.

Carol finally spoke saying,” Jane you are going to have to help out around here. I am getting up in years and I don’t have too many days where I don’t feel good, so I am going to need your help”.

Jane was sitting in a half-dazed moment. Live here with his parents? Live here, in the same house as them? Oh no, I am not going to do this. We can just stay at my house. Anything would be better than living with this woman. He wasn’t bad but her? no way am I going to be in the same house living with her.

With Henry’s drink being emptied he stood up and tossed it in the waste basket. He looked down at Jane and asked, ” You ready to go? They got plans, let’s hit the road”. Jane got up quickly and smiled at each of Henry’s parents and the two exited the house.

“It went pretty well don’t you think”? Henry asked as they walked back to the car. Jane exploded right there in the drive-way.” You can’t expect me to live here with your parents can you? I don’t even get along with your mom! She has issues! She is bossy and is going to just make me her personal slave while I stay here! Henry, you didn’t even ask me first if this would be alright”!

Henry got in the car without remarking to her. He started the car and pulled out a cigarette of his pocket and lit up. He took a deep drag of it and waited for her to get in the car. Jane stood outside pouting. When she didn’t get any response from him, she opened the door and got in. He started the car and then they went to the one drive-inn and parked the car.

The waitress skated up to them and asked what they were going to have. Henry said with no hesitation, “Um, bring me a couple of burgers loaded, a cheeseburger, and a large fry. Bring me a large chocolate malt too with an extra glass”. The waitress wrote down the order and skated off.

Chapter 6


Henry’s cutting up stopped abruptly as the words Jane spoke sank in his mind. “Pregnant? pregnant? How in the world did you get pregnant? Who have you been sleeping with”? Jane burst into tears as she reached over and slapped Henry on the shoulder. ” You dummy! You are the one I been sleeping with! How could you ask something like that? You know there hasn’t been anyone besides you”!

Henry brushed his shoulder off and then took his arm and pulled her over to him.” I’m sorry baby. I guess I was just taken aback when you told me. I thought we used good protection”. Jane raised her head up to him; her eyes locked on his. ” What protection did we ever use? Are you sure it isn’t you that is cheating? You know we haven’t used any kind

Fetus at 18 weeks after fertilization 3D Pregn...

of protection”. “Well, I thought you always went home and took a bath when we got done messing around”, Henry said as he turned his head away.

He took his toothpick out of his shirt pocket and began to chew on it; trying to think of a way around this. Jane tugged on his shirt until he was forced to look at her again. Through teary eyes she asked, “What are we going to do Henry? What are we going to do with this baby? Do you still love me? You are going to stick around aren’t you? You aren’t going to go and run off are you”?

Henry wasn’t going to run off and he told her so. He also realized that he didn’t make the kind of money it was going to take to raise a kid. He looked at her and said,” The first thing we need to do is get in there and tell your mom and dad, then go tell my parents”. Both sat in silence letting this thought roll around in their heads. With a smudge of fear in Jane’s voice she asked, ” Do you really think that is a good idea involving the parents? What are they going to say? What if they kick me out or turn their backs on us”?

Henry chewed on his toothpick again and hesitated before answering then said,” We have to tell them. We have to get that out-of-the-way first. We need to know if they are going to be behind us or against us”. Jane nodded in agreement, but was not looking forward to any of this.

They both opened their car doors and got out and grabbing onto each others hands, they walked up to the front door. When Jane walked in she saw her parents watching television. Henry followed her to the couch and the two sat down. Her parents looked at her odd, because they were interrupting their television program. Silence hit the room like a brick. All that could be heard was the sounds from the box they were watching.

“What’s up with you two”? Dave asked. “We’re watching this program. If you got something to say, spit it out”. Debbie looked over at the two and became a little nervous. She thought, this must be something bad. These two never come in and talk to us. I don’t know if I want to stay here and hear what they have to say. With this thought Carol stood up to go out into the kitchen but Jane stopped her by saying, ” Wait mom, come back and sit down. Henry and me, well us two have something to tell you and you probably aren’t going to like it”. Debbie sat back down and began started playing with her fingers nervously.

“Now what the hell is going on”? Dave asked. ” You march in here and you sit right here so we can’t watch our program and then you say you need to tell us something. Spit it out girl! Quit beating around the bush”!

Jane held Henry’s hand a little tighter. She looked at Henry and then at her parents. She started to say something when Henry spoke up. ” Dave, Debbie, I want to marry your daughter. We are in love and we want to get married”. The two parents looked at each other and then started to laugh.

“Well why the hell didn’t you just tell us when you first sat down? You get us all worried something bad has happened and here you just want to marry our kid”. Dave stood up and walked over to Henry and patted him on the back. Debbie went to her daughter and told her congratulations. Everyone smiled but Jane. She was thinking, What the hell just happened? Did he just tell my parents he loved me? Did he just let them know he wanted to marry me?

Jane looked over at the three of them. None of this was sinking in. My parents are happy about all this. They don’t care if we get married. They don’t even know about the baby yet, and they are still happy?

Then it sunk in. She was pregnant. He was going to marry me. He is not leaving me here hanging! She walked over to Henry and gave him a big hug, and then her dad asked, “When you two getting hitched”? Jane and Henry glanced at each other and then Henry said calmly, ” Soon, very soon. We need to run over to my house and tell my parents and then we will decide on a date. It won’t be any big deal. We can get married at the Justice of the Peace. So we will just pick a day and then let you know”.

With this all being said, Jane and Henry walked into the kitchen with big smiles on their faces. Jane made each of them a sandwich and while they were eating  Jane lowered her voice and said, ” Do you really mean what you said in there? You want to marry me? Does this mean we are going to raise this kid together”? Henry looked into her eyes while he took another bite. ” Of course baby. You know I love you. I just have to get a better paying job and then we will be alright”. With that being said they finished their sandwich and then went back to the living room and  Jane told her parents that they would be back. They were going over to his mom and dads now. Dave nodded letting her know he heard her, and then went back to watching his favorite show.

Chapter 5


Jane and Laurie waited until the waitress took their order. Laurie then bent her head closer to her friend and asked, ” What are you going to do? I can’t believe the test results came back that you are pregnant”!

Jane sucked in her breath. She didn’t want Laurie to know that she was scared. She didn’t want to break down crying in front of strangers. Her eyes began to water as she replied, ” I don’t know what I am going to do. My parents are going to kill me.They are never going to understand that I didn’t mean for this to happen. Should I tell Henry”?

Both girls sat in silence trying to sort out the correct answer. Laurie was the first to speak. ” You have to tell Henry of course! He is the father isn’t he? You weren’t with any other guys were you”? Jane’s eyes got big as she almost shouted,” Oh for heaven sakes Laurie, you know Henry has been the only one. He was always the only one. How could you ask such a stupid question”?

Silence fell around the table as the waitress brought their fries and drinks. They shared a big platter of fries, and ordered an extra-large strawberry shake with an extra glass. Laurie divided the shake into the two glasses and said, ” Don’t be mad Jane. I had to ask. Are you going to tell him”?

Jane sighed and said,” I guess I will have to. What choice do I have? Besides, he will have to help give me money won’t he? He will want the baby because he loves me, right”? Laurie looked at Jane’s face and wish she knew the answer. Instead, she tried to build up hope by smiling and saying, ” Of course he will want the baby. Henry loves you. Never doubt that”.

With that confirmation, both girls dug into the fries, each thinking their own thoughts about how this was going to turn out in the end. They changed the subject and talked about what they were going to do the rest of the day. Summer was almost over and Laurie brought up school starting next month. Both girls looked at each other and the question was answered before it was spoken.

Jane sadly said, ” You will be going to school, and I will be stuck at home with my parents. I can’t go back to school! What will everyone say once I begin to to look like a cow”? Her eyes began to well up, and Laurie got up and went over and sat down beside her friend. She put her arm around Jane’s shoulder and said, “Everything is going to be alright. It will all work out, you will see”. Jane didn’t feel confident in hearing this, as Laurie’s voice wasn’t steady as she spoke.

The girls paid and left the restaurant. They walked as far as they could together, then split directions, promising to call later that night. Laurie found some friends on her way home and she stopped to see what they had been up to. She was invited to one of her friends for supper, so she didn’t get home until late. When she walked in, her mother was furious and worried. Laurie’s mom, Chris started yelling as soon as Laurie walked in the door. ” Where in the world have you been young lady? I have been worried sick! Tell me right now”! Laurie said,” One of my  friends was sick so I went with her to the doctor, and on the way home I ran into another friend who  invited me for supper. Mom, I am sorry. I just totally forgot to call. I love you mom. Can you forgive me”?

Chris let her defenses down a little. She was relieved that her girl was home. She walked over to Laurie and said, ” I can understand you forgetting Chris, but I was worried. Please make sure you call the next time. Don’t worry me like that”. She leaned down and gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead, and Laurie smiled up at her mom.

Jane had run into Henry on her way home. He was driving by and saw her. He pulled up to the curb, and patting the seat beside him yelled,” Hey Jane, come on get in! Where you going? Can I drop you off at home”? Jane slowly walked to the car and opening the door got in. She looked at Henry and tears started to form in her eyes. Henry casually said, “Hey, what’s the matter? You and your mom get in a fight? Are you running a way”?

He started laughing after he had said the remark, but she wasn’t joining in. He slowed down and turned into her drive way. He turned the key off and turned towards her. He looked into her face and said more gently, ” Come on, you know you can tell me anything”.

Jane started to cry and she buried her head in her hands. She sobbed for a few minutes and Henry looked out his window giving her time to get herself together. Jane quit crying enough to begin to speak.” Henry, do you love me? I mean, do you really love me? Would you stick with me no matter what happens in life”?

Henry replied with a little caution in his voice, ” Come on doll, you know I love you. Haven’t I been telling you the past couple of months how much I love you? Come over here and give me a little sugar”. Jane was not scooting near him. She could not move out of fear of what he was going to say when she told him the bad news. Instead, she gazed in his eyes, wanting to remember what he looked like forever, in case he flipped out.

Henry patted the space between them and once again said, ” Come on baby, scoot your little butt over here and plant a big one on me”. Jane felt herself getting all warm inside.

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

She felt like someone was pushing her hands to the door handle. She wanted to reach for it and get out and run for the rest of her life. Her mouth opened though, and she was looking him straight in the face, eyes glued to his. ” Would you still love me if you knew I was pregnant”?

Daily Prompt; Hindsight/ The Daily Prompt 12/03/2012


Fetus at 18 weeks after fertilization 3D Pregn...

 

STILLNESSHe was young when he met her. Their eyes met, and it was love at first sight. They spent every moment available to them being together, holding, touching, kissing, going as far as they dare go. No one said a word to let them know they were treading dangerous grounds. No one warned them to keep a distance. All summer long they went swimming, picnicing, exploring what life had to offer and each other. At years end the enivetible thing happened. She became pregnant. The fear rose in her voice as she stuttered the news to him. What were they going to do? What would they say? Now the parents stepped up. Shaming them, telling them how bad they were. Both were kicked out of the comfort of their homes. Forced to try to figure out how to survive. He got a dime store job that paid little. She went on the system to help her eat. They lived in an ally apartment. He was scared. Sorry he had ever done this to himself, not thinking of her. One day while she was at the doctor, he packed his few belongings and snuck off leaving her with nothing, the same as he gave her when he entered her life. She came home to tell him the baby would arrive within the next 24 hours. She heard silence, saw nothing. She knew he was gone. During the night, the pain was horrific. She got her coat on and went out into the darkness. She tried to walk to the neighbors house to ask for help. Please help me with this pain……….She never made it. She gave birth right there on the grass under the huge oak tree. The cord was wrapped, the color was blue, there was no sound. Silence and chill stayed with her forever more…………terry shepherd

Now that you’ve got some blogging experience under your belt, re-write your very first post.

The above post is the very first one I placed on WordPress. Now, with a few months under my belt, here is my redo of it.

The two eyes locked on to each other. It was a sexual lust, needing to be acted upon. Each time their eyes met, the feelings would return. Donna and Ted  could hold out no longer and with agreement written all over their foreheads, they walked to his car.

They didn’t care that they were out in public. The windows became steamed as he tore at her clothes, lifting her dress. He explored her secret garden. He took her hand and placed it to where his own excitement was growing. Within minutes, the act had been performed and ended.

At every opportunity, this random act of desire was played out. Parents didn’t seem to care. No one asked what each of them did with their summertime hours. The two found themselves sharing the waters, having picnics on blankets, and being in each others arms.

The time did arrive that a change was noticed. Vomiting in the mornings, swollen breasts, and a visit to the family doctor, did prove that she was pregnant. The hardest thing to do now was to explain to their parents what they had been doing all summer.

Donna said to her parents,” Mom, dad, I am pregnant. I didn’t mean it to happen. I swear it was an accident”! Her parents ridiculed her with words being said,” How could you be so stupid? You knew better to let this happen. We aren’t going to have someone like you living here in our house. Now get your clothes and get out”!

When Ted went to his parents and told them, their reply was, ” Stupid, just plain stupid! You made your bed, now you lie in it. Don’t expect us to bail you out of this. You better get yourself a job and a place to live. Now get out of our faces”!

Donna had Ted drive her to the welfare department. She walked in with her head hanging low. She was embarrassed and ashamed. She had no choice, she had to go on the system, in order to survive.

Ted found himself a job. It was a low paying job that would give nothing more than basic needs. Through the help of friends, they were able to move into a small apartment. Not only was it tiny, the entry door was in the back of a dark alley.

They needed no furnishings but what they could carry with them. The box apartment was furnished with basic furniture. The two lived under the same roof, but the excitement of what they had shared the past two months had vanished. Ted went to work, Donna stayed home. She had no education and with being pregnant, the options were almost zero for her obtaining work.

They lived with the routine of work, home, eat and sleep for several months. Donna kept her appointments with her baby doctor, and then the time came for the baby to be born. She raced home to tell Ted that the baby could be born within the next day or two.

When she opened the door, she walked into silence. She called out his name, but only heard echos bouncing from the walls. She walked into his bedroom, seeing nothing. She began to cry. Her gut told her something was wrong. She stood there looking around.

Where was he? I can’t do this alone? Please don’t leave at a time like this. Suddenly, an idea sparked and she walked over to the closet, and found her proof. The clothes that had hung there were gone. His dresser drawers were empty.

She walked over to their bed and threw herself on it. Tears began to fall and soon sobbing could be heard. All of the emotions she was feeling, caused pains to begin in her stomach. She sat up and felt her tummy. It was hard and it hurt. She began to shiver from fear. She could not do this. She wished that she would have never met Ted. She wished that she would never have climbed into the back seat of his car.

The pains became severe quickly. What am I going to do? Who is going to help me? I am so scared. I want my mommy. These thoughts raced around inside of her head, until she had a very sharp pain. She stood up and her water broke. She was not familiar with this and she grabbed her coat and walked out into the darkness of the alley to find help.

She looked around and recognized no neighbors. She needed help, so she began to walk. Within moments the biggest pain she had felt, forced her to the ground. With no love or support, her baby was born.

She heard nothing. There were no cries coming from the newborn. She sat up and looked between her legs, and saw the blue face of the child. A cord was wrapped around the precious baby’s neck. The little girls eyes were closed. There was no movement in the lungs. She reached down and touched the baby.  All around her was silence. Quietness took over her mind and the baby’s tiny soul.

She laid back down and wept. She was weeping for the loss of her summer, Ted, and having no home, and now this, the death of her baby girl. Her life was over, there was nothing left for her. She laid there for what seemed hours, and then a soft blanket wrapped gently around her, and a warm hand comforted her. Soft words were spoken, and Donna saw a glimmer of light.

 

Chapter 4


A picture of a door handle.

Laurie and Jane walked to the clinic, and both girls stood outside for a minute. Jane said, ” I don’t know if I really want to do this. What if I find out I am pregnant? What will I do then”? Laurie put her arm around her friend and said  in a matter of fact tone, ” And what if you find out you are not? We won’t know until we go in there. Now come on silly girl, let’s get this over”!

Jane timidly placed her hand on the door handle and both girls walked in. Jane  went to the seats that were in the waiting room and sat. Laurie went to the receptionist window and announced her friend’s name.

Sally, the  receptionist handed her a clipboard with some white pages attached to it, and  said, ” Have your friend fill these out, and then have her bring them back to me”. Laurie took them from her and walked over to where Jane was sitting and handed her the paperwork.

Jane filled out the paper work, while Laurie rambled on in Jane’s ear. After finishing the required forms, Jane slowly walked up to the window, and as she handed her the completed file, the receptionist asked,” Do you have any insurance Jane”? Jane nodded no, and the receptionist noted this on her file, then asked, ” Do you have any cash on you? This visit will cost ten dollars”.

Jane again nodded no, and then Laurie appeared at her side, and whipped out a ten-dollar bill, and said,” Here is the money, now it is paid”. With this being done, the receptionist told them to have a seat, that they would be called next.

The two girls went back to where they had been sitting, and Laurie started talking about what they were going to do once they left here. They could go to the park, or maybe go get something to eat, but the words fell on empty ears, as Jane was in her own world at the moment.

The announcement was made, a young lady was calling Jane’s name. Jane stood up to go and looked back at her friend. She grabbed a hold of her hand, and said, ” Come with me, I don’t want to go in there alone”. With this the two girls went through the door separating them from the waiting room and the doctor.

They only waited a moment, and then Beth, the nurse walked in. She looked at the two girls and asked, “Which one of you is the patient”? Jane replied, ” I am”. With this being decided, the nurse took Jane’s temperature, and listened to her heart. She made some notations on the new file for Jane. She then reached up into the glass cupboard doors, and grabbed a plastic cup. She took it to Jane and said, ” I need you to take this cup and go into the bathroom. When you pull your panties down, you will see some disposable wipes. Wipe yourself from front to back, and then urinate in the cup. Then leave the cup on the back of the stool, and I will come in and get it”.

Jane’s face turned bright red, as she did not usually talk about going to the bathroom. She took the cup from Beth, and walked across the hall, doing what she had been told to do. Soon she walked back in and told the nurse she was finished, and then the nurse disappeared out of the room.

The two girls sat there quietly. They looked the room over, standing up and walking to each picture hanging on the wall, and looking through the glass cupboard doors at all the strange things sitting in there.

Soon the door opened and this time it was not Beth, but instead if was a doctor. He introduced himself as Doctor Bill, and he took the file of Jane’s and sat it on the counter top, reading the results.

He looked at the girls, and asked, ” Which one of you is Jane”? Jane rose her hand half-way, and the doctor asked, ” Do  your parents know that you are here”? Jane shook her head no. The doctor continued, ” You may want to explain to them where you have been, because the test results for pregnancy are positive. You can have your parents call me if they have any questions”.

Jane’s eyes began to water, and Laurie sat dumbfounded. The doctor walked over to where Jane was sitting and shook her hand and wished her good luck in her future. Doctor Bill then opened the door and closed it behind him, leaving the girls to sit there and digest the news.

Beth came back into the room, and sat in the empty chair beside the girls. She handed Jane some pamphlets explaining childbirth. Jane started to look through them, but when she came to the second page, and saw the diagram of a uterus, she closed the pages.

The nurse explained to Jane that she  had options. She said,” Not every woman is always ready for raising  a child. If, after you talk to your parents about this, and you decide you do not want to keep your baby, there is always adoption”. Beth handed her another handbook, that explained the process of adoption, and then asked Jane if she had any questions, and Jane nodded no.

With the conversation being ended, Beth led the two girls back out through the door, and said,” If you need someone to talk to or have any questions, just come back and see me Jane. I know this is going to be a tough decision for you, and there will be many changes in your life”.

Jane gave a small smile, and turned and walked through the exit door. The two girls went immediately to the soda fountain. They found a booth towards the back of the restaurant. The lights were dim,  and no one sat this close to the door that led to the kitchen. The girls could talk here in private.

Chapter 3


Human embryo at six weeks gestational age

The next morning brought a rush to the bathroom, seeing a girl bent over the toilet throwing up. She finished and got up and looked in the mirror and looking at her reflection, she knew that she was pregnant.

How was she going to tell her mom and dad? How was she going to tell Henry? She washed her face off and went back to her bedroom and laid down on her bed. She didn’t want to live, she just wanted to lay here and die. What had she done to herself?

Fear took over and she began to weep. She buried her head in her hands and cried until there were no more tears to come. She rolled over on her side and reached down with her hand and touched her belly. Nothing felt different, she didn’t feel anything, but inside she knew.

She didn’t know what to do, where to go. Were her parents going to kick her out of the house? Where would she live? Maybe she could get rid of this baby. The first thing she needed to do was find out if indeed, she was really pregnant.

She got up off the bed and got dressed, and went to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. Maybe she would drink two cups, maybe that would make this thing growing inside of her, go away. She sat at the table thinking what she should do next, and then decided to walk over to her friend’s house to seek some advice.

Finishing her one cup she headed over to her friends and knocked on the back door. Laurie’s mother answered the door with a big smile, letting her in, and telling her that Laurie was in her room, cleaning. Jane thanked her and walked towards her friend’s bedroom door and knocked. She heard a voice saying come in, so she opened the door and shutting it behind her, she went over and sat on the bed.

Laurie turned her radio down, and went over and plopped herself on the bed beside her and said,” What’s up? What have you been doing with yourself? I didn’t see you too much yesterday.”

With hearing these words, Jane broke down in tears again, and Laurie put her arms around her and said,” Hey, no matter what’s happening, it can’t be that bad. Tell me what’s going on? Did you and your mom have a fight?”

Jane looked up at her friend and quieted her sobbing long enough to tell Laurie, she just knew she had blown it. She knew that she was in big trouble, she was  pretty sure she was pregnant.

Laurie dropped her arms from around her friend, and stood up, walking over to her vanity and sitting down, looking at herself in the mirror, and asking Jane, “Are you sure? Have you gone to the doctor?” Jane shook her head saying no she had not seen a doctor. How could she go to a doctor? Wouldn’t the doctor call her mom and tell her?

Laurie stated as if she was an expert on the topic, ” No, doctors can’t say a word to anyone. They have some code or something that makes them keep their mouths quiet. Your mom and dad will never know. What you need to do girl, is get an appointment, and find out for sure. Here you are falling apart, and you don’t even know for sure!”

She walked over to her bed again and sat down with Jane, and opened up her bedside table drawer, and pulled out the phone book. She looked at Jane and asked, Who is your doctor? Do you want to go to the doctor that your parents go to, or do you want to go to someone who don’t know you?”

Jane thought it over for a second, and then said, ” What do you think the doctor will do to me? Is he going to make me get undressed? Do you think he will look down there?” Laurie laughed and said, ” No silly, you will go into the doctor’s office, and just pee in a cup. Then they do some kind of test with it, using a bunny, and if the bunny dies, you are pregnant, and if the bunny lives, this is a false alarm!”

Jane thought for a quick second, and then said, ” Well, if that is all that is going to happen, then let’s go to that clinic over on West Main Street. No one will know me there, and I can pee in a cup just as easy there as I could in front of my own doctor.”

Laurie thought that was a cool idea and said, “Hey, they are open today, and I don’t think you need an appointment. Go back to your house and put some clothes on that make you look older, then come back here. While you are gone, I will change my clothes too. We want to go in there looking like we know what we are doing, right?” Jane nodded and stood up and Laurie walked her to the door. Jane turned to Laurie and gave her a big hug and told her thanks for being her friend, and to please not say anything to her  mom about this, and Laurie, crossed her two fingers and promised, she would not say a word.

With this Jane ran back over to her house, and the two girls were busy now trying to make themselves look a few years older. After Laurie felt confident she looked her best, she went and found her mom, and said that Jane had to run some errands for her mom, and was it alright if she went with her.

Her mom said it was fine, and to have a good time, and to stay out of trouble. Laurie promised and went back to her room to wait for her friend. It took a while, but soon Jane was knocking on the door, and when Laurie opened the door, she stood there staring at Jane, and said,” Wow, girl, you look so cool! No one would know that you were only 16!”

Chapter 2


English: A bowl of Raisin Bran cereal shown in...

Jane tried to get up again, and ended up running to the bathroom and throwing up in the toilet. She sat down on the cold floor after finishing and sat there, her mind whirling, as she had heard that this could be the signs of being knocked up.

Her mom was going to kill her if she was, so she kept it a secret, that she had just puked. After sitting there for a bit, she staggered up and washed her face in cold water, ran a brush through her hair, and brushed the nasty taste out of her mouth.

She walked back into her room, and sat on the bed. Was she pregnant, oh God, she couldn’t be pregnant. They had only fooled around one time, and you couldn’t get pregnant after only one time, could you?

She laid back down on her bed again, and pulled her covers up, telling herself she would just lay here until everything on the inside was nice and calm again. When she woke up it was an hour later. She sat up and felt fine, no bad or sick feelings, so she figured it must have been something she had eaten last night. Nope, she wasn’t pregnant. Wow, what a relief that was.

She got up and got dressed and went into the kitchen and poured herself a bowl of Raisin Bran, and dumping some sugar and milk over it, she took the bowl and went over to the table and sat down to eat. As she was eating her mom walked into the kitchen and started the coffee maker.

Lighting a cigarette, she went over and sat down beside Jane and asked her if she had a good time last night with that guy named Henry. Between bites, Jane mumbled yes, it was alright. Her mom asked when she got home, and Jane said around ten, and with that the conversation ended, and her mom went and poured herself a cup of coffee.

Jane got up and took her bowl to the sink, and ran some water inside of it and then left the kitchen and went back to her room. She turned on her record player, playing her forty-fives and sat down at her vanity and put her make-up on and tried experimenting with her hair.

In the end, she didn’t like anything she had done with her hair, so she pulled it up and put a rubber band in it, forming a pony tail, and with that she walked over and flipped the record player off, and went outside.

She went down to the lake to see if there was anyone there she knew, and seeing a couple of girls, she went over and joined the group. They hung out for a while, and then Jane saw Henry and left the two saying she had a good time, see you later.

Henry gave her a good squeeze and asked her what she wanted do today, and Jane came back with she didn’t care, whatever he wanted to do. He grabbed her hand and the two walked the beach, kicking their feet in the sand, stopping every once in a while, to hug and kiss. They walked and then found a grassy area, hidden behind a bunch of rocks.

The two sat down on the grass and looked out over the lake and then they looked at each other, and then they found themselves lying in the grass, touching and feeling each other, kissing and hugging. Not being able to stand the inner crying anymore, they got up and walked back to his car, and he drove them to a quiet spot on the other side of the lake and the two had sex.

Afterwards, they both realized they were hungry, so he drove them to a fast diner, and pulled up and parked. The two walked in and ordered a burger, fries and shake. They sat down and waited for their order, and then began eating like they had never eaten before. The food was so good, that conversation was small and soon they were finished eating, and they got back in his car and went back to the lake.

They ran into the crowd that they hung out with and they all played frisbee, and swam, and just had a fun day with no thoughts for tomorrow. Before anyone realized it, it was getting supper time, so they said their see you later, and they all drifted off in their own direction.

Henry drove Jane home and dropped her off in front of her house, and giving her a kiss, he watched her go to the door and then he drove off. Jane walked in and sat down in the living room. Jane,  her mom, was sitting there  watching the television, and Dave, her dad was nowhere to be seen.

Debbie asked Jane if she had a good day, but didn’t look at her for an answer, but went back to her television program. Jane didn’t answer but instead went into the kitchen to see what was going to be for supper. Nothing was laid out on the kitchen counter, and so she opened the refrigerator door and looked at the half-gallon of milk, and some orange juice.

She went back into the living room and asked her mom what was for dinner, and Debbie replied that she hadn’t really thought about it. She looked up at the clock on the wall and asked Jane if she was hungry already, and Jane shrugged her shoulders. With her mom not making any move to fix food, she wandered back into the kitchen and looked in the cupboards, and grabbed some crackers and a Twinkie, and took this back to her bedroom. She guessed this would be her supper for the night.

What a mom she had, stuck in a television box and not caring about anything going on around her. Her dad was probably already at the local bar, getting drunk. This was a screwed up family, Jane thought to herself. She wished she had a different set of parents, someone who gave a crap about her.

After eating her supper, she went back into the living room and her mom was still sitting in the same spot. Jane sat down and tried to get interested in the dumb game show mom was watching, but grew bored quickly, so she got up and walked outside to sit on the porch steps.

She needed a new life, a new adventure. Why was she the only one on the block that had a boring life? Why couldn’t she live in the house across the street where those parents seemed involved with their own two kids. She always saw them getting in the car together and going places. Their lives had to be better than her own life.

Bored from sitting , she got up and walked back in the house, and went to her room, turned her radio on and changed into her night-gown and got into bed.