The Secret’s Out


I brought in

Your favorite meal

In hopes that it would

Make telling you easier

For me. I smiled

When I saw you

But you never

Smiled back

As the pain was

Overpowering your

Will to live

I choked and

I swallowed hard

And after we ate

I told you the

News that it was

Going to be yet

Another month.

Your shoulders dropped

And your tears did fall

My own heart

Fell and shattered

On the floor

I held your hand

And professed

That I care

That the day

The second that

I could take your arms

And help you into

The car I would do

It. We both shed tears

Although I promised

I would not but when

Yours fell so did mine

Baby brother I promise

You it hurt me more

To tell you of this delay

You wanted me to stay

But your spirits had dropped

I sat you in your chair

And watched you drift

Off to sleep then

I tiptoed out

Whispering

I love you Bud

I truly do.

Terry Shepherd

05/16/2013Blue_candleanimated-candles1.gifcandle-animated.gif

Can You Love Somebody Too Much?


I have a pain in the pit of my gut and my heart is hanging around my ankles. I have to tell Al some disturbing news. On the flip side I am trying so hard to realize that I have heard all good news. I am doing everything right.

Everyone on the government level is looking out for Al’s best interest. So I am having mixed emotions at this very moment. I don’t want to sit down and cry because it will do nothing but give me one of those headaches that hang around my neck like a sore thumb until I sleep it off.

The meeting went fine. In fact I would say the representative and I hit it off fine and it was a piece of cake. I had all the documents he wanted here.

The bad news that I have to tell Al, is it is still going to be a month to a month and a half before the services take effect.

This rep has to enter all of the data given from the two meetings today. He stated he was swamped with work and it will take him some time. Then he has to send it in to the State and they have to check to make sure all is in order.

This small list of things to do can take so long. It is out of my hands now. I have done as required. All is finished. Everyone signing on the dotted line is now up to someone else to do in a timely manner.

I can deal with it. My heart will heal. Al could come home on June 1, but there would be no services for him. He wouldn’t get to go to the Day Program. I would not receive any help with his care here, he would just sit and stare at the TV, just him and I.

I see that for him, at least in the facility he can still socialize with other residents and staff. He can still go to the Day Program through the disability program. He can still go play Bingo.

I just dread the pitiful face I am going to see when I tell him not yet Bud. I do know that have learned from this tragic mistake of mine. Don’t take anyone’s word and set it in stone. If only I wouldn’t have told Al what others have told me. He wouldn’t have to go through this disappointment.

Can you love somebody too much? To the point that you can feel their pain and live through their emotions? I guess so, because I am right now.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

alvin

Just Call Me Gabby


English: Ad for I Love Lucy baby doll.

English: Ad for I Love Lucy baby doll. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, I have all my yard stuff, crap, things, hehe, all priced. Wow, that is a tedious job. My living room looks like a child’s bedroom. Stuff all over the floor.

I found more of Al‘s short-sleeved and tank-top shirts and a few more pair of shorts. I put all those a way in his chest of drawers.

I test drove his wheelchair. I wanted to see if it would fit through the bathroom door, and thank-you Lord, it fit. I can fit it right up to the potty.

I made this fabulous meatloaf recipe for supper. I found the recipe on Facebook. It is so super easy, a child could make it. Want to know how to make it? Sure you do.

One pound of ground chuck

One egg

One cup of water

One package of Stove Top Dressing.

Mix and put in loaf or small square pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

For me, I added some crumbled real bacon pieces I cooked up extra this  morning. I also added a small can of mushrooms.

Oh my gosh, this was so perfect. The entire time it was baking I could smell it throughout the house. My mouth was watering. When it was done I noticed it held together perfectly. The taste, well let’s just say my taste buds were throwing a party.

I swept all of my floors. I hope that the man tomorrow coming to see me will recognize that I am having a yard sale the next day and take pity on my messy floor. Hey, I left plenty of room for him to walk through. Who knows, maybe he will see something that catches his eye and he will just have to have it. LOL

I have had my shower, dishes are done. I played my favorite game on Facebook, Candy Crush Sega. Do you play it? I am so addicted to it; it is pathetic.

Well I am ready to close my evening. I will sit in my comfy chair here at the computer and play until I tire of it and then  head to bed.

This meeting tomorrow is going to be two  hours long. It is the only thing I can not prepare for. What do you think he is going to ask me about? My life is so simple, hopefully I will pull all the right answers out of the rabbit hat.

I would just utterly die if I was the one who kept Al from coming home.

One more week I think for American Idol. I usually watch it each winter. I like both girls that are remaining. Now it is over for the evening and You Think You Can Dance has started for its season. I usually don’t watch competition shows. My TV consist of Golden Girls, I Love Lucy, Young n the Restless, Antique Roadshow, News and the rest I don’t mess with.

I have the TV on most of the time but just for the noise. Ok, well I am done chatting. If I say anything else, I will bore you. So have a good night all. Big hugs

Daily Prompt; Art Appreciation


Painted Doll

Antiques Sign

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Daily Post,   Daily Prompt, DP

Do you need to agree with an artist’s lifestyle or politics to appreciate their art? To spend money on it?

I believe beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I love antique paintings and wall hangings. I would never find myself in a modern art museum. I can’t understand the crazy swirls and blotches.

I have seen them before on TV and imagine myself just taking a paint brush and throwing paint on a canvas. Or maybe dipping my hands in a rag or even my bare hands making something according to my mood.

I like the Victorian era as I have stated before. Give me some children, or kittens or maybe dogs and I will be happy. Victorian houses with wide molding speak to me as I venture through each room.

Give me some history about the photo. Who painted it? Was the beautiful house ever lived in by some famous poet at one time? Is the house said to be haunted? The history is something that to me is the icing on the cake of the picture.

If I happened to be somewhere and saw a man sitting on a stool putting his talent to work I would stop and watch in awe. If he had a sign that said he was trying to feed his family, I would be more eager to buy it. Not for the picture but to help not let his kids to starve.

So to me, it is the history, or the situation of the art piece. There are various reasons I would buy it. Even if my friends didn’t like it or some mocked it, I would remember in my heart the story behind the work.

So no, it has nothing to do with agreeing or politics for this gal.

 

Remigiusstrasse Viersen - Victorian house (1)

Daily Prompt; S/he Said


The cast of Roseanne. (from top left to top ri...

The cast of Roseanne. (from top left to top right) Glenn Quinn as Mark Healy, Johnny Galecki as David Healy, Martin Mull as Leon Carp, Estelle Parsons as Beverly Harris and Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris. (From bottom left to bottom right) Michael Fishman as DJ Conner. Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner, Roseanne Barr as Roseanne Conner, John Goodman as Dan Conner and Sarah Chalke as Becky Conner. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt, Daily Post

Pause whatever you’re doing, and ask the person nearest you what
they’re thinking about (call someone if you have to). Write a post
based on it.

There was no one to ask so I looked at the TV that was playing noise in the background. It happened to be the Roseanne Show. This episode is about her husband having lunch with an old-time ex girlfriend.

Whoa! I used to be a regular visitor to this show. I would watch and laugh all the way through it. Inside somewhere deep in me I always wished to be like her without the rudeness.

I have a hard time speaking my thoughts when I am standing in front of another human. My goal in my life has always been to show love and kindness without hurting your feelings ever.

To this day I find this is a terrible way to live. To not be able to voice my thoughts in a nice way hurts me in so many ways. For one, I give people the idea that I go along with what they are trying to convince me of. I will give until the one that hurts in the end is always me.

Now I am to the point that I worry about my own future because of fear to speak up for myself. What is wrong with speaking the truth? Why am I afraid that I will lose relationships if I don’t agree with others? Am I really being fair to them or to me?

I do enjoy helping others but there is a line that should not be crossed. For in the end when I am in need I realize that I am on my own. I have gotten better by speaking up more, thanks to many friends here at WP.

But it has also caused issues because I am not the same person that others thought I was. I don’t want to be considered a push over. I don’t want others to think just go  hit her up. Use the right words and you can get what you want.

If I was trading places with Roseanne my words would not be so kind and gentle. My words would not tremble out of my mouth. My hands wouldn’t sweat and the fear of losing friends and family would not enter my mind. My knots in my stomach would be gone.

Roseanne would say, This is the way it is for me. These are my thoughts and mine alone. If you don’t like it tough. If you don’t agree with me, fine. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt as you fly out of my house. I will be  here waiting for you when you cool off and we can continue with our friendship.

Then she would go about her business of running her day and loving her family. She has a way with words. I think she is a little rough around the edges but in all, she does get her ideas across. And let’s face it, she must have done something right, because she was a big hit for several years, she is on syndicated stations every day, and she lives on her own island today. Retired and growing nuts. Her bank account will take care of her until death over takes her.

He Heard Me


The only thing you can do when a cardboard box...

Every morning Jake followed the same routine. He took the cardboard box and folded it neatly and tucked it in his special hiding spot. He picked up any trash and papers he found and placed them in the dumpster.

He would walk the two blocks to the nearest gas station. He splashed his face with cold water. Pulled his comb out of his pocket and went through his hair and beard. He scrubbed his fingers.

Leaving the restroom he would walk to his favorite corner carrying his guitar. Finding a clean spot to sit he would take his hat off and place it upside down on the curb beside him. He would begin to play hoping to draw a few coins in his hat.

Every day all three seasons Jake did this without fail. The change he would collect would help to feed him for the day. Jake’s life didn’t used to be this way. At one point he was living in his own home. He worked at a factory in town. He played his guitar whenever he wasn’t working. He had begun to pick up odd jobs playing at different bars.

Life wasn’t something to talk about but it was good. Then one day he walked into work. As he took his time card to punch in he saw the white paper clipped to his card. He opened it and read the most dreaded words. Friday is your last day Jake. We are sorry to have to do this to you. We are downsizing and you are one of the older workers so we have to let you go. Please stop by my office for any questions. Signed, Management.

Jake was never able to put money a way. He lived week to week. By the time he paid his rent and his utilities, he had enough to buy his food and gas. What was he going to do now? What was going to happen to him?

He went ahead and clocked in and worked his shift. After work he went to the office and knocking he entered and was told to have a seat. ” Jake, I am so sorry we have to do this to you. The company is beginning to lose a little money so we had to downsize. Please understand that we think you are a great employee, but this is out of my hands. There will be a two-week compensation check along with your regular check. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I will try my best to help.”

” Thanks Mr. Boss. I appreciate you being so honest. I know you can’t help it Boss. You are just doing your job. Thanks for the extra money. It will really help.” The conversation was over. Jake had two more days to work. He went home and instead of preparing his meal, he prepared his future by sitting at his table and praying to God.

Dear God, I have been given some bad news today. I don’t want to get all mad over this. I wish it wasn’t happening but it is. I don’t know what to do next Lord. I really need your help. Can you show me what a man my age can do now? Who will hire someone my age? I am old Lord, you know this. I may have not been a good servant and saved my money faithfully enough. For this I am sorry God. Now I have to lean on you to take me to the next place. Help me find a job Lord. I love you and praise your name always. Amen

Jake got up and started to fix his supper. After he ate he went in and bathed. He watched TV for a little bit but his mind kept going back to the Boss’s words. Finally after realizing he didn’t even know what was going on in the program, he flipped it off and retired to his bedroom.

He finished out his next two days of work and then it was over. He received his check and after cashing it he paid his rent a month ahead and bought as many groceries as he could afford to tidy him over.

He went to the different bars that he played in and asked if they had any extra hours for him but the answer was no. Just not enough business, sorry friend. For a few weeks he went out each work day and looked for a job but the answer was always the same, no, sorry.

His food was going down little by little. He still played for a few extra dollars at the bars but it wasn’t enough to help him stay a float. Each day he got down on his knees and prayed to God for help.

The day finally arrived he had been fearing. His money was almost gone. His food was low. His rent was now due and he had nothing to pay it with. He went to the local Salvation Army for help but they were out of funds.

Dragging his feet he walked the streets trying to figure out what to do. He saw the flower cart on the corner. A man was selling flowers. This gave him the idea to play his guitar hoping to get money.

Faithfully he did this every day. But the lack of nutritious food and restless nights took a toll on his body. He began to cough off and on. His lungs felt tight. He knew he was getting sick but he didn’t have any money to go to the doctor. He had been evicted from his home and now he slept in his car.

The weather was changing. It was  about a month before winter officially kicked in. Still he moved forth going to his favorite corner each day. On a chilly and windy day he was playing his guitar. He had gathered a few near him who stopped to listen and throw money in his hat.

He was taking a break and I think his body did too. He collapsed on his corner. One of the gentleman who had been listening pulled out his cell and called 911. Soon Jake found himself awake in a hospital room. An IV was hooked up to him. A nurse was taking his vitals.

” What happened to me? Where am I” Jake asked.

” You are in the hospital. You have pneumonia. We have you on antibiotics. You will be good as new before you know it”, the nurse spoke.

Jake relaxed a little and rested back on his pillow. I am going to rebuild my strength while I am here. I will be warm and out of the snow. I will get fed three meals a day. I just have to give this some time.

A couple of days after he had been in his room the stranger who stopped by to listen to Jake play made a visit to him. “Hey, I remember you. You were one of the people listening to me play. You put five dollars in my hat. I am so glad you stopped by so I can thank you proper for that nice donation” Jake said.

Kenny said, ” You must have been real sick Jake. You passed out right there in front of me. I am glad you are here getting help. What happened that put you to playing on the street?”

Jake explained his loss of job and home. Kenny listened without interrupting. After the story was told Kenny said, ” You know I am just a visitor in your town. I was checking out some stores in your area when I heard the strumming from your guitar. You play real nice Jake.

You know,,,,I think maybe we can help each other out. I need a guitarist who has a lot of experience and you need a job. Would you be interested in helping me out?”

Jake’s body began to tremble with excitement. A job offer, and doing what I love to do most of all.

” When would you need me Kenny?”

” As soon as the doctor releases you. I will make all of the arrangements to have you sent to my place. You will come stay with me in my hotel and then we will just go from there” Kenny said.

Jake shook Kenny’s hand so  hard it made Kenny laugh. ” Hold on there Tiger. You don’t want to get all worn out and have to stay here any longer than you need to. I will be back each day and see how you are. I want to thank-you for helping me out by taking the job. I will be back tomorrow. Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest” Kenny smiled and said.

After he left his room Jake cried from joy. He was going to be alright. He wasn’t going to be left to the streets to die. He was going to play his guitar, the love of his life. He looked up towards the ceiling and said, Thank-you Jesus. Thank-you for hearing my prayers.

Jake was smiling as he fell asleep. It was less than six months later when some people were standing in front of the appliance store. They were looking at the newest models of televisions being sold. One of the people pointed at the TV and asked, ” Hey, isn’t that the man who used to play here on the streets?”

Doctor’s Day


Hi neighbors, friends and family. I was picking out some music this morning to post. I realized I have never really let you in on the secret. I have two other WP pages, did you know that? I didn’t think so. I am so sorry for being rude. LOL

 

The first one is called My Music That Calms Me

 

http://mymusicthatcalmsme.wordpress.com

 

The other page is called Quotes For Me and You

 

http://quotes4meandyou.wordpress.com

 

 

 

I didn’t sleep worth a hoot last night. I think it was because I had to get up earlier this morning. My brother Al has a doctor‘s appointment at 10:30, which is not at the crack of dawn. But a lady has to get herself all prettied up.

 

Al and I share the same doctor. I am not sure how old he is. I believe he may be around my age. He has the best sense of humor. I appreciate this quality when it comes time for an appointment with Al.

 

This morning he will receive a physical and the doctor has to also fill out a diagnosis form. This will be an important step to the moving him out of the facility process. Yesterday when I was having lunch with him I told him about why we had to go to the doctor.

 

I explained that we didn’t have a date to when he would be leaving his temporary room but he did good at processing the information. He did so good that every staff that walked by he was smiling and saying I am going home in a couple of days.

 

Immediately I would correct him and remind him I wasn’t sure when this would happen but he would say,”I just want to tell them.”

 

It was pretty foggy when I got up, but now the sun is shining and it is a whole 17 degrees. Today’s high is to reach 38 and even better tomorrow. I think I will pick up Al tomorrow since it will be nice and take him to Dairy Queen since it is buy one blizzard get another for 99 cents. Those are pretty good deals to us.

 

Just out of curiosity do any of you watch American Idol? Did you see it last night? I was happy with the contestants that made the top ten but I was so disappointed in the way Mariah Care

 

Mariah Carey during red carpet interviews at t...

y looked.

 

Her dress had a nude netting covering the breast area but I am not sure as to why. The dress was so revealing that her big knockers were all I really noticed. I am not stating that I love looking at big boobs, lol, but gosh it was hard not to stare when she was talking when the centers were the only parts covered. Maybe I am just getting to darn old for fashion statements.

 

When I was a kid in elementary I was sent to school in most often white cotton blouses. It must have been the rage back then or knowing my dad, he considered them to be long-wearing sturdy clothing.

 

Of both my parents it was always Dad who checked out my school attire. He would make me hold both arms straight out in front of me. Then he would check the back of the shirt to see if it was pulling. If it wasn’t I was good to go.

 

Dad had a keen eye for my skirts too. Sometimes he would get the yard stick and he would measure the length of the skirt to the knee cap. If it wasn’t to his liking I would have to go change. Now that I look back on it, he was protecting me from what,,,,,,I don’t know for sure. Maybe naughty boys eyes or maybe he just liked being proud of me. What ever the reason I survived. What Dad never knew is when I was in Junior High, I rode the school bus. When I boarded the bus I would roll my skirt waist so that my length fit in with all the other girls. I had to get by with some stuff when I was growing up!

 

Well, better go fix my breakfast, I don’t have much time before I see Al.

 

What is Your Opinon?


Sweet Valentines Candy

Tomorrow is the big day. A day for sweethearts. Are there other relationships that you can give candy to if you don’t have a sweetheart?

I am considering stopping tomorrow at the store and buying my brother a box of candy. Not one of those mushy heart shaped thingys, but just a nice box. Do you think he would think he would think I was nuts? Or do you think he would just enjoy the sweets?

Give me your thoughts so I don’t make a fool of myself. LOL

Daily Post;Stroke of Midnight/ Daily Post


Kelly 017

Deutsch: Erbeerlikör

Where were you last night when 2012 turned into 2013? Is that where you’d wanted to be?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Where was I last night when 2012 turned into 2013? Well, you see this picture beneath? This is where I was. I was being fat and sassy in my own comfort  of the bedroom. I had taken my bath and glossed my hair.  I was cuddling in  soft materials, nuzzled on top of a feather topper.

The only fireworks that were going on were outside my home. Others wanted to hoop it up in the freezing cold, but not I. Was I drinking it up? Did I look like I was having an early hangover? Nope, not at all. I don’t believe in making myself crazy.  I am already that without the drink. I guess that explains why I have nine lives and you don’t.

I had my special treat. A bowl  of milk and some bite-size snippets. My master turned her  favorite programs on. Before I tell you the name of the station she watches, I have to remind you that part of her  mind never caught up with time frame we are in now. She is  still partially stuck in reverse in the eighties. She watches TV Land, yes, you understood me. That show that plays all the oldies before I was born?

Her  favorite programs are on Nick-At-Nite. King of Queens, Happily Divorced, Golden Girls. You get the drift don’t you? Well  personally, I would rather be watching the cartoon Tom and Jerry, but I humor the owner of this den, because she feeds me good.

I’m  sure she won’t be  smacking you with the baseball bat hiding behind the door if you did go out and party. If you drank, I hope you drank responsibly. If you left in a car, I hope that a good friend drove you home. If you woke up in a strange bed, I will pray for you! LOL.

I didn’t even watch the big ball drop. I am a real dud, right? Boring boring, but I was safe, happy, content and comfy. What else could I possibly want or need? Well maybe someone to rub my belly. Scratch behind my ears, and how about throwing me an extra tuna treat for heaven’s sakes! I see you heading for the fridge again!

After Dorothy's departure, Blanche, Rose and S...

Fireworks on New Years Eve 2009

Pearl Laying on Bed

So What Makes You Laugh


So What Makes You Laugh?

 

Question #1TV Show you watch because it makes you laugh each time?

 

Question #2 – Movie you watch because you always laugh? 

 

Question #3 - Book you have read that made you laugh?  

 

Question #4 – Do you laugh at funny animal pictures? 

 

Question #5 -  What joke always makes you laugh?

 

Question #6 – What made you laugh today? 

 

Question #7 - Who is the one person who always makes you laugh and why? 

 

http://tadams4u.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/so-what-makes-you-laugh/

This was in a blog I just read, and the idea behind it is to provide laughter in people’s lives, so I am willing to try this, by answering the questions she has posted. This will be good for me personally also, going back in time to my own funny memories.

 

Question 1 answer The Golden Girls. I laugh through this if I am watching and concentrating on the show. Sophia is my favorite. She has some smug remarks for others that are younger than her!

Question 2- Home Alone, and A Christmas Story. These two movies always make me laugh my butt off, no matter what kind of mood I have been in. The crazy things that happen, getting hit by an iron in the head, paints falling all over their faces, sticking a tongue to a frozen pole. Makes me laugh now as I am sitting here thinking about them.

Question 3- I don’t laugh from books. If I read books they are about slavery, or trying to rediscover who I am, or true stories about people who have been hurt or abused and how they triumphed

Question 4- I do not laugh at funny animal pictures, but I do laugh sometimes until my eyes water, when I see the child in Al making funny remarks over animal commercials or a cartoon, and The Three Stooges

Question 5- Jokes that make me laugh. After thinking about this for several moments, I will have to pass on it, as I have not heard funnies for years, but I do remember the first joke I heard as a young kid, and was proud to repeat it. My mother slapped me for saying naughty things. It was, why is the school-house always red? If you had six periods a day, you would be too! Whack, that is when she slapped me.

Question 6- What made me laugh today? Nothing so far

Question 7- My best friend Lezlie. We have been friends for over 30 years, and she and I will laugh so hard when we go back in time and talk about all of our memories together, especially if we talk about the horse at midnight! You will have to ask me about that silly story later.

Thanks for allowing me a chance to go back in my memory box!!!!

Cover of "A Christmas Story (Full Screen ...