Daily Prompt: ______ is the new ______


http://dailypost.wordpress.com/, DP, Daily Prompt

Click over to your favorite blog, and pick out the 4th and 14th words (that aren’t “the” or “an”). Drop them into this phrase:

 

“_____ is the new _____.”

 

There’s your post title. Now write!

 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us BLANK.

I am not going to say which blog I went to. I do not have one favorite, I have many, so I just went eenie meenie mino mo.

The words are; struggled and colors.

Struggled is the new color.

Now this is some sentence to work with. Come on brain, get ticking. I sit here with squinted eyes, staring at the screen, scratching my head thinking.

Oh, well that didn’t take long. I am writing this prompt from my own view on my life.

Struggling with losing weight, not wanting to eat sweets, not wanting to exercise, not wanting to pull a way from my life on the computer, and smoking.

These are my worst struggles and if I should look at a nice new box of crayons I would say the color is somewhere between gray and black.crayons sweetscigaretteaddictedtointernetexercising-cartoon

These are my nasty habits of life. Oh I am sure I have many more, but these are top-choice, prime beef and high rated.

What to do. The media causes me guilt. All of these topics are super sensitive to me because everyone around me is saying, You naughty girl. Shame, shame, shame.

This next statement makes me choke. I am going to go back and read what I wrote and I am going to see the next sentence staring in my face like a gun getting ready to go off.

I don’t want to change anything right now.

There I wrote it, yes, I read it back and it made me want to run for the hills, because guilt is now seeping into all my open crevices. Attacking my conscience and I was  having such a wonderful morning today.

I don’t want to work on these goals when Al is not here. I want to enjoy the computer and write until my fingers turn black. I want to skip the basic food groups and just grab a quickie. I don’t want to waste one moment of time I  have for alone time.

I do get some exercise, I can’t say I am 100% bad. I do laundry. I scrub toilets and tubs. I push Al in his wheelchair daily. I cook and sweep floors. I use my arms and hands to steady Al’s weight whenever he transfers. I sweep dead leaves from the ramp daily so we don’t slip and I fall and while I am down I am watching Al go racing down the ramp. Oh wow, that sentence gives me the shivers. Watch out! Incoming run-a-way wheelchair.

As for my weight, I lost one hundred pounds a few years back, and I just teeter on the totter on the scales. One week I gain a pound the next week I lose it. I will eat sweets, but I do it differently today than I used to.

Now I take one bite, two at the most and stick it in the trash can. I tasted it, I thrilled from it. I screamed with delight. Before, I would have eaten the entire sweet. I also rarely use an adult dinner plate when I eat. I use the medium size. My plate looks full but my mind is fooled. This is a hard one to pull off because rarely does my mind get tricked.

The smoking issue, well that is a dead ringer for it ain’t gonna happen right now. I have tried before because deep inside I really do want to quit. But each time I tried to stop, when I went back, I smoked more. If I continue to keep trying when I don’t want to quit right now, I will be smoking a carton a day.

So I am putting that off. Stress and sadness and  the fact my brother is so ill, is a reason for me to continue smoking for now. So that is case closed, door slammed, and no arguments from me for now.

Saturday my internet shut down. There was a message I had never seen before. It was yadda, yadda, yadda, but all I could see was I didn’t have my computer. With suggestions from my daughter, I turned it off safely.

I waited a while and tried turning it on again only to hear this ticking sound. Louder than any clock. I turned it off again and waited longer. My daughter then got on here and turned it back on and it was like she is in the wrong business. She had it up and running.

The fact is when you think of something long enough, it does happen. I have been pondering on my computer. It is five years old. I did have it rebuilt and updated this past January, but nothing last forever, right? So there, I cursed myself. I thought about it too long and then it messed up on me. I don’t know how in the world I will ever go without my computer.

It is my life, my silly string to the outside world. It allows me to chat with so many, continue to heal through my writing. And the friends I have made, is just so Wow, Wow, I couldn’t give any of this up. I would just need a tower but that is probably the most expensive piece and as far as prices I want a tough one, not a generic one, so I better start saving my pennies.

Well now, I am done stomping on myself. When I go back over my words I don’t see anything so gross that I am going to lay down in my pretty pillow-top coffin. I think I will change those colors of gray and black and change them to a drab blue color.blue rose

 

No More Joking


I swear for the last time I am not going to make remarks or joke about things anymore. It always comes back to bite me in the rear.

One time many years ago I prayed for so long to lose weight. I got my prayer answered but it wasn’t God answering. I got deathly ill. I had a rotten gallbladder, gang-green and too many gallstones. I lost a ton of weight, in fact I almost died.

Another thing I joke about is when you see me skinny or looking just right, I will be sick. Now it is my brother who is losing weight. He lost 7 pounds two weeks ago. Last week he gained three pounds back, and this week he has lost 9.2 pounds.

No one seems to know the answer. Not the doctors or the nurses. I am wondering if it is the new internal tremors along with the outer tremors we see.

Is it the journey of Parkinson’s in itself? I am no longer laughing………….alvin and meLonely_candleI am thankful now that Al has some extra baggage on him. It is allowing him more time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964

 

 

The Meeting With the Top Dog


candle-animated.gifYesterday I called the facility to set up a meeting this morning with the Administrator. He tried to find out what it was about but I told him I would tell him when I arrived. This morning I said a small prayer to act like a responsible adult and not cry or act frustrated in front of this man.

I walked in calm and breathing normally. We shook hands. He smiled and I returned it. It is not hard to look at a young man with beautiful eyes and nice hair. LOL I told him everything. I spoke to him about Al sitting in the bathroom in his wheelchair while he had to figure out how to go pee when he didn’t need to.

I told him about the stolen candy. I mentioned the cookies that the nurse had made such a big deal about. I told him about my unexpected visits and how the two staff members jumped when they saw me there. I added that I want a staff to be near by when he is dressing in case of toppling over.

I spoke to him about the nurse who discussed Al’s weight loss in front of him. I explained how he went back to his room then telling another aide he was going to die because PD was taking his weight a way.

I tried to get my point across for the umpteenth time that no one should discuss Al’s health in front of him unless it is good news, as he builds a case around it for days.

I also reminded him that I had been talking with the nurses and charge nurse and I could get no where. Now I was at the top of the rank expecting help.

He told me to go out and replace the candy and bring him the receipt. He also said with a big smile that he would look into all of this. One thing I did appreciate was he was taking notes about the entire conversation.

So now I sit back and wait to see what happens……All in all I do pat myself on the back because I acted more like a mature caring adult then a hurt sister. But I did get the point across that Al is my brother and I will stop at nothing to ensure he is at much peace as possible through his journey of Parkinson’s.

Impossible or Probable


AI probability density (triangular)

This is a prompt from Plinky.

What are the six impossible things you believe in? (If you can only manage one or two, that’s also okay.)

This is a fine line for me. What do I believe in that is impossible. What do I believe in that is probable.

Impossible may include ridding myself of my Diabetes. I have had this for over 30 years. It is definitely not going anywhere unless I can afford to have a pancreatic transfer. I hear they cost a lot of money, so the probable for me is a no.

I have been heavy my whole life. I blame it on my biological mother, well at least I used to. She gave me whole milk and that’s all I ever had for many months. Today’s research is that the fat in the milk is very bad for you. This is not impossible that I will never be thin, but improbable. Maybe I have gotten used to the weight I live in.

There are many things that affect our work to lose weight. Mostly though it is our outlook on our lives. Maybe if I had a boyfriend, it would be probable that I would lose weight. When I look at my age it then turns to impossible. Why bother, I am just getting old and having aches and pains anyways. You can now see how I have argued with myself after I lost the initial 100 pounds. If I lost 35 more pounds I would strut like a fine Peacock.

Some of the world would like to convince me that believing in God is an impossible dream. I have seen proof with my very own eyes. He exists. Even with Al walking today it is a  miracle. It may have stemmed from the pain patch. But where did the pain patch come from? Who gave the scientists the knowledge to be able to make these? God did.

I don’t think that living here in Indiana that it would be probable that I could have Florida weather. Now that Spring has sprung and we still have cold weather and a big snow storm coming Sunday and Monday, warmth all year is impossible.

These are just a few things I have thought of. I am sure there are hundreds of other ideas I could think of but I am hungry for my supper, so I am now stopping at number 4.

 

 

Daily Prompt; Shoulda Woulda Coulda / The Daily Post


Hershey's Christmas Kisses

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Tell us about something you know you should do . . . but don’t.

Wow this is one prompt that forces me to look at how bad I am. I like it better when I look at the positives in my life. I have worked very hard at not knocking myself down. I used to be very bad at it and had little confidence. I don’t even think the word was in my own personal dictionary.

Now here I am looking through my mental list of bad things I have let slide through my life. The number one thing I do that I should not is smoke. You can give me all the reasons in the world as to why I should not smoke those packs of cigarettes, but the real truth lies with the fact; I am not ready to quit.

The number two thing I should do but don’t is lose weight good or quickly.  Every year I can count on the numerous commercials on the television to pop-up as soon as New Years is over. This is almost bigger than the toy commercials for kids at Christmas. It preys on our minds and feeds our guilt over not being as totally fit , healthy and skinny we should be.

I imagine that there is more money made in the first three months after the new year than the entire year in total. I think it is a darn shame that these companies feed on our self-worth.

Do you know how sick and tired I get of hearing these actors state how they lost thirty to fifty pounds in just three months? You get to see the before and after photos of these people.

It reminds me of the men who portray themselves as bald men. They use the expensive treatments to grow more hair. Before and after photos. I have studied these photos for months. I swear on my mother’s life that some of the before and after men are not even the same man. There are slight changes I have been able to pick out to prove to me they are two separate people.

When I became too fat for comfort and my diabetes was out of whack I made a decision to change it. I followed Dr. Gott’s words and ate nothing that was white. No white sugars, bread, pastas or rice. Everything had to be whole wheat, whole grain.  It worked and it was fairly easy. I lost almost 100 pounds. I could never be on one of those diet commercials because it took me almost a year and a half to lose that weight.

My doctor told me in one of my visits recently that the old-fashioned way of losing weight was the best. He said it was and still remains the counting of calories. I usually have counted carbs and sugars but I have changed. This has allowed me to still lose but the plus was I was able to eat a little bit more of a variety of foods. I now feel like I am not being cheated out of the food enjoyment area as long as I continue to lose the weight. I am allowed 1500 calories each day. This is easy for me now. I still don’t eat regular sugar and I try hard not to use sugar substitutes because of cancers. I just divide 1500 into 3 meals and I get 500 calories per meal.

I don’t snack usually through the days and I allow myself up to 7 Hershey Kisses as my bed time snack. I go by the carbs on this snack. I have a tendency to have my sugars drop too low through the night if I am eating correctly through the day. Eating sugar at night helps keep me safe.

I am sure I have many more shoulda woulda couldas but these two are my biggies in my opinion.

Update on Exercise Class and Walking Track


Year 5~Day 34 +5/365 AND Day 1495: Senior Stru...

Well catching up here with you about my exercise class and walking. I did go, yeah! I went in and paid my dollar for my class. I borrowed a locker key and they held my purse as ransom.lol

I put my coat and boots in the locker and put my clean dry shoes on and walked to the room that the class was to be held at. There was one lady there. She was much older than I. Completely white-haired. I asked her if this was the right room and she said yes. She told me that they usually walk the track for about fifteen minutes, so I went to the track. It isn’t a big track. It takes 19 laps to make one mile. I walked three times around it then saw others were going into the class.

I found two, three pound weights and grabbed those along with a stretch band. Eventually about 9 people were seated. One man, and the rest ladies. The man was white-haired also with a long white beard. He was 85 years old and had, you will never believe this, he had Parkinson’s!

I was the baby of the class. The only one with any color in my hair, of course the secret is hair dye! I looked around and felt a little uncomfortable being so much younger, but stayed. A hottie guy came in. He was somewhere in his twenties. He was the teacher. He spent about ten minutes chatting about New Years and such. Then we got down to the hard work.

I had worn my spandex pants with a spandex top and a T-shirt over it. I was ready to sweat it out, but it never happened. We mainly sat on straight chairs and did stretches. We used the weights maybe twice. We used the stretch bands about five minutes. There was no music and it was very quiet in the room.

I asked why there was no music and he asked,”Why should there be”? I explained that when I was in Florida I belonged to a senior fitness group. We did mat exercises and foot movements and light aerobics to some hip hop music. It was up beat and really got us all going. He said, “oh, isn’t my voice enough”? I didn’t say anything more.

Inside I was thinking,this isn’t going to work. This class is not for me. They don’t do enough because I am not even breaking a sweat. You get what you pay for, a dollar for class, a dollar’s worth of stretches. I think I expected more.

When the class was about over he had us walk three more laps. All together I walked six laps, so what is that? Six out of nineteen makes a mile. Maybe I walked a third mile? After class I spoke to the director about a harder class. The next class level up was 30.00 more, so I would have to pay 50 a month and I just can’t afford that.

I left the building wondering if I should go back next Tuesday. This class is on Tues and Thurs. I stopped at the pharmacy and got my medications and then came home. After I was home about an hour, I thought, I wonder if the little bit I did helped my sugar numbers at all. What the heck, I will check them anyways.

I have been fighting with my sugars ever since Al has been placed. They were constantly in the two hundreds. It isn’t outrageously high, but too high, and high enough to be on insulin. I was shocked, totally buggy eyed. My sugars were 98. 98 in the middle of the day! Wow! I didn’t sweat but my body responded to the work that I had done and the few laps I took of walking. So I am going back. For now, as long as the mild exercise works I will  pay the dollar. If I get to the point that my body becomes plateau, I can continue the walking as much as I like. I do better in a class situation with other people though, so I hate to give the class up. Exercising here at home alone never works. I make it about three days then I quit.

So all in all, I was very happy. I didn’t sweat, I wasn’t in  pain, and yet my sugars were way down. I did it!!!

 

Stress And Fat


 

I was so excited this morning, when I discovered for the second day in a row, I did not have

 

Florida

 

to do a complete bed change on Al’s bed. Yipeee!!! I was able to sit down and drink my hot coffee and linger over my emails right away, while Al ate his breakfast of Toaster Streudals. He loves those things, and his favorite is Strawberry and Cream Cheese. I so wish I could have one, but they are loaded with carbs, sugars, and fats, but for him, it is alright, since I don’t want him to keep going with his weight loss.

 

I didn’t get any smiles this morning, but I did not receive tears neither, so I was content. After breakfast, he watched his divorce court show and part of The Price is Right, and then he decided to get properly dressed, as I had a doctor’s check-up for labs that I had drawn last week.

 

When the time came to leave the house, we headed for the doctors. He was doing well enough, that I left him in the waiting room and went back to the small doctor patient room by myself.

 

I had gained two pounds, and this is so disappointing to me. When I moved here from Florida, I had lost so much weight, but I was involved with the YMCA and Al went to a daycare, and the sun was shining, and I swam most of the year. Now that I am back, my physical activity is pretty narrowed down to cleaning the house, and once a month, rearranging furniture, to get that heart beat moving, and of course, my fingers get their work out on the computer and also lifting the fork to my lips.

 

The doctor said all of my tests were good except the usual culprit, the cholesterol, which I refuse to take the medications to lower it because of my mother’s warning, and the doctor knows exactly how I feel and how important it is to me what my mother told me. He said my sugars were better than last test time, my triglycerides were wonderful, kidneys were good, in fact, all was great. So, I looked at him and asked him why am I gaining weight? Is it because I get hardly any activities in?

 

He said he didn’t think it was what foods I was or was not eating as my sugar levels were acceptable. He said there was one area that was causing me weight gain more than anything else, and I asked, what was that. His answer was something I did not care for, because I can’t seem to beat the odds in that area.

 

Do you think you know what his answer was? The dirty culprit helping me to gain weight is STRESS! Yes, stress, he explained how stress causes a hormone change and causes weight gain. He also went on to explain that at this point, he did not want me to get overly concerned, because he knew what I was dealing with at home, then he smiled. He said everything will be back to normal one day, just be patient with life.

 

Stress? I never knew that could cause weight gain. Do you think I was stressed when I came through the birth canal? Because I have seen my baby picture where I had a couple of rolls of baby fat. Do you think I was stressed when I was in elementary school, maybe kids picking on me, or teachers that didn’t like my constant chatter. Maybe I was stressed as a teenager. Experts state that teenagers have to find themselves and where they fit in with life, and I would think this would cause much stress. Maybe, I was stressed when I got married, divorced, and did stupidly repeat that process one more time. That surely causes stress.

 

I think from now on, I will not blame that ice-cream cone, or that hamburger on a white bun from McDonald’s, and I won’t even blame my weight gain on that one little pumpkin doughnut, that I popped into my mouth for breakfast. I will blame everything on being a woman with hormones, who stresses out easily.

 

Now that I know who I am and why I am who I am, I decided that Al and I needed to celebrate my good report and finding the answers to being fat. So we went to the KFC for lunch and we had that new little sandwich, the Chicken Little sandwich? Yes, they are fairly good. They come with too large of a miniature sub-bun, with mayonnaise and two pickles with one long chicken strip. They are alright, but not that great for cheating on my carbs. I should have went to Ruby Tuesdays and had a fish snack pack. Now those carbs are worth eating!

 

Then after we finished lunch, we went to our favorite little thrift store, and Al immediately scanned the aisles for coca cola, and found two tin type signs, and I bought two car air fresheners and a tiny pair of baby satin shoes to match the baby dress I had purchased there last month. They are Victorian, and you already know how crazy silly I am about Victorian era. I also found another lamp that is small with crystals hanging from it, with one single bulb socket. It is more like a night stand light. It was the right size, right price and so I claimed it.

 

We had a good time and  now we are  both home, and Al hit the bed for his nap, as his nurse is coming at 4pm.