Dust in the Wind


http://dailypost.wordpress.com

DP, Daily Prompt

Have you made your bucket list? Now’s the time — write about the things you want to do and see before you become dust in the wind.

Bucket list? No, I have not. I think the bucket is full but I can’t see what is in it. This has made me sit here for a few moments and ponder on what it is that I would like to do before I kick the bucket.kick the bucket

Now that my birthday is tomorrow, I am worrying more about what will happen to me. I was a mommy more than an employee when I was younger. Now that I am all alone the pay back from not working too much is at the bottom of the bucket, says the government.

I worry since my son will be moving farther away who will cut my grass with my bad feet? Will I be able to pay the person? Will I run into any outrageous expenses? You see, if I get to thinking about too many what ifs, I will drive myself nuts. The next best thing is to put the worry list in God’s worry bucket and let him deal with it.

So taking away the worries leaves more time to ponder on the happy thoughts. Hmm, let’s see, hopes and dreams of filling the bucket at least half-full.

I would love to go see some of my blogging friends. I would shop til I drop if I went to see Vivi. I could watch all the beautiful birds if I went to see Julie. I could see with my own eyes what Al sees.

I could have tea with Ute. Go antiquing with Sheila. There are just so many  people and things to do I just want to see at least part of them before I sit my big butt into that rocking chair.rocking-chair

I want to teach the world to sing? No, not really, I want to teach the world about MSA. Too many people who don’t know anything or very little. Of course neither do I, but I do have seven years on many doctors in the MSA  category.

I would give anything to own an older but well running VW bug. I learned to drive my first stick shift in Germany many years ago. I was hooked on those adorable little cars.

I wish I could find a walking partner so I could get out more. I love to take walks but not alone, I am a big scardy cat. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know the answer.cats

I would love to go camping again if I  had someone to go with. I love to fish also.

I hope that I get Al’s book done before anything happens to me. I am working on it almost every day. It is going to be called, I think,,,, Al, his life and MSA.

So these are just a few of the toppers I can think of. You have to realize I am not able to think deeply yet. I just had an invisible brick thrown at me yesterday. Maybe I had been in shock land, I don’t know; but it hit me that I will never see Al again. Wow, what a blow to my mind. I started crying and pretty much have cried most of the weekend. Thanks to many that I spoke to with over the phone until wee hours in the night.

Maybe when my brain is more clear and the tears begin to fade a way I can come back and read this again. I bet I will make some minor, or maybe major changes to that bucket list.

Jesus Has Risen


Originally posted on Brian's Blog:

Luke 24

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’

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His Sacrifice For Me


Easter is something I could let pass me by this year; if it were not for Jesus Christ. The decorations, candy, the ideas that go along with kids is pretty much at ground zero in my home.

I think of Al even more as I walk through the store. It reminds me of last year when Al was still at the nursing home. I had visited him and brought with me Easter cookies, a case of diet coke, and lots of candy.

At the time I knew  I was foolish buying him all that unhealthy stuff, but this year I smile big as I am so thankful I did what I did. The good thing is Al is there now. It is so amazing to know that he doesn’t have to go to the movies to watch Easter themes. He is right there, walking beside Jesus. Oh how lucky he is.

For the umpteenth time I am repeating myself. I love you Buddy and I miss you so much. You enjoy your meal together with the highest of family and I will pretend that Easter for kids is magnificent.

My son and his family will be here tomorrow. We are having what I call a laid-back lunch. Sloppy Jos, chips and salads. I just don’t have the oomph to make that big five-course meal this year. My two grandchildren will hunt for all the hidden, colorful eggs and I shall smile, knowing I am making wonderful memories with them.

You all have a blessed Easter. Make great memories and do something you may not normally think of this year. Remember when I talked earlier about the diet coke and Easter candy for a grown man? Well, I am glad I did that out of the normal thing.

Happy Easter my friends and God bless each of you on this magnificent day.

 

Invisible Love


Invisible Love

 

For God so loved the world

Did he choose  the lucky ones

What about the poor

Did he only see the beauty

Or all that came through the door.

 

Did he leave us and then part

To make it on our own

Did he wave to us goodbye

Or has  his light but always shown.

 

Did he give us a heart

Did  he give us eyes to see

Did he give us all our senses

Or do you think he forgot about me?

 

I know in fact we are special

He gave his all to fill

The love he knows we need

If only we do his will.

 

Although we feel alone at times

And like no one really cares

I know that he walks beside me

No doubt he really cares.

 

So the next time I am down

And feeling all to low

I will kneel down on my knees

Asking him to lead where I must go.

Written by,

Terry  Shepherd

04.18.2014

lost

 

 

Take A Chance On Me


http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP,

What’s the biggest chance you ever took? Did it work out? Do tell!

What’s the biggest chance I remember taking? I guess the answer would be myself.

Growing up with parents who loved me but I couldn’t hear or see it until I was grown myself didn’t help me to soar through life.

Being in a marriage that didn’t end happily ever after fed fuel to the fire of no confidence. Add to this bowl of life being over-weight and considered chubby plus just an ordinary kid equaled low on the totem pole for me.totem pole

The jobs I mainly have held have been inside people’s homes or right here at my own home. This didn’t give me much to go on with building new relationships. It also allowed me to stay sort of hidden from view.

Through learning so much about health and medicine, I dug into books and googling. People started asking questions. I wrote my first book and published it, called Dahlia.

I started coming out of my inner shell and began to look closely at myself in the mirror. I really didn’t see anything spectacular but I did see eyes that showed I was a caring person.

I decided to take a chance on me and let others know I was eager to teach and show what I had learned throughout my years. Now I have friends once again. I meet many strangers that turn into friends quickly.

I get up and get dressed. I thank God for making me who I am daily. I splash some make-up on and I try to live each day the best way I can. I cry and I smile for what Al has given to me and I always tell him I love him at least once a day by looking up into the heavens.

I think I had to live and experience the sad times of health with Al in order to start to become and do what God put me here for. I don’t know what will happen but I do think I am worth taking a chance on.

God Answered Two Prayers This Week


 

When Al, my brother passed away three weeks ago, I never had a doubt from the moment I sat in the funeral that somehow I was going to make a difference. I knew that I wanted, no I needed to help others.

I have always been the one who loves to reach out to others, but now I knew I was on a mission. I never want anyone, friend or stranger to ever have to go through what I did. I learned by taking care of him mainly alone, I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.

God walked me through that seven-year journey. He wiped my tears. His hands were my pillow. The days are still very tough for me. When I am home alone, the tears fall easy. The house echos with my own thoughts.

With the help of Peggy, Sue, and other friends they are encouraging me to get out of the house when I can. Learning to smile again is like a toddler taking steps. I am stepping out in darkness but I am slowly seeing the light.

When I speak of Al my heart burst. Not only from tears but with an anxious energy. Like a horse jumping at the bit, waiting for the rider to say go. I prayed, and I still pray daily to be of use to someone.

There is someone out in the big world that needs me. I want to be there for comfort and help. I want all to know they are worth caring about.

Well God has been guiding me ever so gently and I had two things God gifted me this week. The first one is I am working again. I am helping others in their home. It is part-time, but this is alright.

I am working on Al’s book. I have several chapters written that tell the story of his life and now I am beginning to fill up the empty pages with the story of MSA, so I need that extra time.

The second gift was a phone call I received last evening. I had a lady message me on my Facebook page asking for my phone number. She stated she wanted to talk to me about Multiple System Atrophy.

Last night she called. I believe we chatted about half an hour. She asked questions and I did my best to answer her. I don’t know too much yet, but I did learn that she works for a Hospice in another state near by.

She invited me to be a speaker to the staff, teaching them what I have learned about MSA. I don’t know how soon, or exactly how it will be handled, but I felt wonderful. A chance to let Al live on through the lives of others.

I looked up at the heavens and thanked God immediately after telling her I would love to help in any way I can. God did this for me. He isn’t done with me yet. I have much to share. God is opening doors so that I may be his tool for this terrible illness.

cropped-al-and-rhino-nov-1.jpg

Don’t Forget


 

 

 

Don’t Forget

 

There is never a time

Even when standing in line

That my thoughts don’t drift to you

And a tear may drop too

How could I ever forget those eyes

And all the times that you asked why

How can I ever rest those tears

And my new-found fears

Do you remember me

High above the sea

Do you remember all my words

And the sound of chirpy birds

Do you remember when I read

The Psalms when you lay in bed

You are forever in my mind

As my days ahead unwind

I love you brother dear

Don’t you ever fear

You are always in my heart

The two of us will never part.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

04.17.2014

The Stranger on the Street


Do you see her over there? Yeah, that lady, the one who looks like something that was dragged out of the trash.

People stared in the direction that Peg was pointing to. There on the sidewalk was an older woman. She had hair of gray that looked like it hadn’t been combed in some time. Her coat was ragged. The ends were fringed from wear. She wore old tennis shoes that had the small toe sticking out on one of them.

The small crowd watched the old woman staggering. Some of them were snickering. Others were gawking. Some just shook their heads and went on about their business.

One person from the small crowd had said nothing. He made no gestures about the woman. Instead he walked towards the woman. He remained behind her so as not to make her aware of him.

He followed her through the streets. There was no end. Once she reached the end of the city blocks she crossed the street and walked in the direction she had started. The young gentleman was in college and he found this to be very odd yet quite interesting.

Ideas were going around in his head how he could turn this into a paper that he knew he would need at a later time for classes. He continued to follow her and then she suddenly sat down on a park bench. He remained in the background watching. He pulled out a pad and pencil and started jotting down notes.

He watched her get in her over-sized coat pocket. She pulled out a clear, plastic bag. Then she proceeded to toss what seemed to be bird seed. Birds from out of nowhere began to flock around. Bob walked closer to the lady and standing close enough for her to notice him, he asked if he could sit down.

She didn’t reply and he took this as a positive note. He sat down beside her. He watched the woman’s face break out into a wide smile. He opened his hand and held it out to her. She looked into  his brown eyes and placed some seeds in his hand.

Together the two fed the birds until the seed was gone. ” Do you come here often mam to feed the birds?”

” Call me Maude. That’s my name. Yes, I do come here almost every day. There isn’t much in life to enjoy when you are an old woman like me, but I sure do feel good when I know I am doing something useful for others. Feeding the birds makes me feel useful.”

Bob nodded his head in understanding. He knew what it meant to be feeling proud of what you are doing and to be there for others. He had never thought of it really; that a flock of birds could be put in this category.

” What do you do with your time other than feed birds?”

” Well, I do spend a lot of time just walking through town. I love to people watch. Do you ever just sit and watch the people go by? You have to wonder where everyone is headed and they most times always seem in a hurry.”

Bob laughed. ” Yes, I watch people too. It does seem our world operates in a fast paced world. Do you live near here?”

” You sure are a nosy one. Ask a lot of questions. But the answer is yes. I live close by. I got a car, but I prefer walking. You get to see more when you walk.”

Bob looked at his watch. His stomach was beginning to growl. ” Have you eaten yet Maude? I am sure getting hungry. What about me taking you to lunch in that cafe right across the street. Would you think I am too forward by asking you this?”

Maude looked once again into those brown eyes. They read honest and likeable. Trustworthy and safe. She placed the empty bag back in her pocket and stood up. She held out her arm for him to place his arm within. Bob took the next move and stood and the two walked across the street.

Entering the restaurant doors, the cook looked in their direction. ” Bringing another one in Maude? This is getting to be a real habit. Nice to see you though. You two take a seat and I will send your waitress right over.”

Maude smiled and Bob wondered what that was all about. The two sat and picked up the menus. Bob asked her what she would like to have adding this was his treat. Maude looked over at him and said, ” No this is my treat. You see, I am an old woman. I don’t have many friends. I know a lot of people, but who doesn’t? My dead husband left me a little money but I have got no one or nothing to really spend it on. What brings me happiness is finding a kind soul out there on the streets and doing something good for them. Today, I picked you. You have kind eyes and you spoke to me. It didn’t matter what I was wearing, you still spoke. You didn’t judge.”

The waitress came over and asked to take their order. Maude said, ” Give my new friend here whatever he wants on the menu. It’s going to be my treat.”

The waitress smiled and winked at Maude. Bob started to speak but first placed his hand over her frail, wrinkled hand. ” Thank-you Maude for doing this.”

” No, thank-you son, for helping me to want to live one more day.”

old lady on streets

Your Smile


Your Smile

 

Sitting under the skies

On a blanket oh so soft

Arms used as pillows

Legs resting flat-out

I look up at the sky

And gaze at midnite black

Something catches my eye

And I turn to study the view

Then a tear begins to fall

And I blink to clear my way

I see a vision of stars

And their form is in a smile

I whisper I miss you

As I wipe my tears a way

I have no doubt it is you

My angel, Alvin watching over me.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

04.14.2014

star--background-seamless-repeating1

When You Accept Everything You Are, And Are Not, You Will Succeed


Terry:

Excellent

Originally posted on A Mixed Bag:

Monday is the start of another week for the majority of people. Some people don’t want to get up to go to work or do what they do on a Monday, but there are those who want to but can’t. Some people walk out of their house and say that they hate their home, but there are some who sleep on the streets. Some people don’t like what their partner cooked them for breakfast, but there are those that are starving. Some people argue with their spouse and say they wish they never met, but there are some who want to feel love. Some people say they have too many friends, but there are some who are lonely.

Just because you don’t like something, don’t wish it away, look at how you can use it or give it to someone who can. Just because you…

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