Woke up this morning, to blue skies, warm air. Poured myself my first cup of coffee. Let my dog outside. Doing all the things without thinking, in a routine. I heard stirring coming from his room. He was up already. I needed time, space for me. I didn’t like it when I go from a zombie mode straight to a thinking mode. Blue skies, disappeared as I started preparing his breakfast, tending to all his needs first before I had even gotten to the point that my brain was functioning properly. My nerves started to unravel, and I was unable to get them back in control. I feel so guilty feeling this way. I love him, we are family. No more silence to ponder on today, barely time enough to thank God for letting me have one more day. I need a vacation, a break. I hear remarks about how I don’t work outside of the home, and it hurts, at times, because I do work. I work with my hands, my heart, my mind, patience, love, understanding. This is a 24 hour job. There are no days off. I don’t get paid, but there is no amount of money that could be taken in when you are caring for a loved one. Now, silence surrounds me, as I see him walk out of the house. He is going to on an outing for a while. I breathe in a deep breath, and get my wits in tact. I, wait, in peace and quiet, for my daughter to arrive. I am getting my much-needed break today, right now.
A Caregiver’s Life
Lovely!! I think sometimes that you express my feelings….!!!
Thank you for sharing these writings with us!!! God bless you!!
Although my wife and I do not have the hurdles to overcome that you and your brother do, I think I have a limited idea of your situation. But instead of being the caregiver, I am the one being cared for. From my perspective it is very hard to see all the sacrifices my wife makes for me every single day. But I know she all that she does out of love and concern for my well being. You couldn’t pay most people enough money to do what you do. Only an enternal love and commitment can drive a person to be a caregiver on your scale. I know how much my wife loves me. She has taken the vows of ‘for better or for worse’ and ‘in sickness and in health’ to the extreme. From my perspective I feel certain that your brother feels your love and commitment in the depths of his soul. Speaking for myself, it pains me to know how taxing it is on my wife to take such good care of me and I wish I could give so much more back. But for now I will just accept her love and care with open arms and try to allow her a little more sunshine in the mornings. Thank you for sharing.
thank u mark. i know how much u struggle inside from having a wife help you instead of u helping her, but thank our Lord for giving us special people in our lives. without them, life would be much harder
Reblogged this on terry1954.
I’m glad you’re getting a break today. Over at Zendictive’s blog is a story that might be relevant to you- about how it’s important to not listen to the judgments of others.
Bless you my friend. xxx
thank u so much for allowing me to share with you and i will read your story