Where Are We Now?

Screaming. Swearing. Things I do not hear through out the day. An evil lies somewhere in the inner layers of his mind. This is what I woke up today. The profanities that were being heard were words I have never heard spoken from that mouth. Hatred was definitely the topic for this night. Bitterness, anger was added to the list as moments went by. Is there two worlds we each live in? The reality and the unknown? When he is awake, I can observe wide ranges of mood swings. Smiles, sadness, depression, overly chatty, talking about one topic all day long, to talking about things that happened over forty years ago. Confusion sometimes enters, becoming the ruler of the day. Announcing its debut. Not less than five minutes ago, I heard the wild mumblings, and now he has risen and is standing here beside me with a smile on his face and waving at me like this is the first time he has ever seen me. I was prepared for the worst, and he comes out with his best. How can the mind switch modes so easily, drifting in and out of different worlds, causing so much frustration, bringing along with it every feeling that we as humans can have, and then leave quickly as in a blink of the eye. For me this is exhausting, trying to be prepared for anything that is thrown at me, to only find it wasn’t this or that in the end. For him, the mental exhaustion he must go through is beyond my comprehension. It is a Dr. Jekyll  and Hyde simulation. The world is full of fix it medications. We lean heavily on the reality that if we have an ache or a pain, go see your doctor, and poof! we are healed. In the mind of a mentally challenged person, there is no quick fix. You are left with years of trying to figure out the cause, the reason, the fix. You become a robot, going from doctor to doctor, hearing the same words coming from each one. This is an inner fight, that is unbeatable, fixable, most unlikely. The positive thing in living with this person, is that although there is great suffering, God, says, when I call you home, there will be no more pain and suffering. You will live here with me and sing songs of praise. Joyous will be your attitude for ever and ever. I get on bended knee, and ask God to help him and I through out this new day, and I praise his name for the good things to come.