The Battle

I hate you! This is what I heard as I was coming out of my bedroom. Darn things! Stop it! He was talking to them, but they were not listening. Frustration was covered all over his face. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He looked at me for help. I went and sat beside him, not knowing what to say, as everything I had thought of to say was said many times before. I tried changing the subject. I turned the TV on, surfing to find a comedy or an old-time show that I knew he would remember from past years. I tried talking him into going out and sitting on the porch and watching the birds and kids playing. He wanted nothing to do with it. With my help, he got up from the couch, and with cane in one hand, he slowly walked back to his bedroom. I heard the TV come on, and heard the flip of the recliner going back to lift his legs. My heart was ripped apart once again. I carried a helplessness inside of me. I have cared for many patients in my life, but caring for a family member is something I wish on no one. Feelings of love, hatred for the disease, anger, pity, can all overcome you at the same time. It is exhausting for him and for me. A daily battle is what we both fight constantly. Tonight was wonderful though. A friend dropped by. We started a fire in the fire pit and chatted for a while. Soon, my brother came outside also. He sat with us. He chatted about anything and everything, sometimes not making sense, and often forcing my mind to change directions in its train of thought. I didn’t care though. He was smiling for now. He and I were able to take this time and forget about the Parkinson’s and dementia.

51 thoughts on “The Battle

  1. Oh, Terry, it must be really hard for you! I used to do home healthcare for a woman in a wheelchair who had mid-stages Alzheimer disease. It was hard but I really enjoyed it too. Required a lot of patience at times and I’m sure it would have been much harder had it been a family member. My prayers are with you in this journey!! blessings, Terri


  2. Hi Terry, My Dad suffered from Alzhimers. It is so hard to see a loved one slip away. He stayed at home with my Mom, who was over 80 years old at the time. God Bless. Thanks for your articles.


  3. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I am discovering your blog now and how much we share in common. It is not easy to care for a family member. But there is much we can learn from each other. Thank you for sharing.


  4. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I have a brother with Downs Syndrome who appears to be in the early stages of dementia. Brian has been the light in our family…a beacon of unconditional love. Thank you for sharing your journey.


    • thank u for allowing me to share with you. dementia is not fun. my brother is mentally challenged, has heart, parkinsons and dementia. i have been caring for him for four years since our parents died


  5. Terry, I have experienced this through members of our organization and with my family. It’s hard to look at the same face and be able to accept that it’s not the same person. It breaks your heart. Many prayers and thoughts to you and your brother. Keep blogging, stay in touch with people.


    • thank u, i just didn’t want people to think i m whining. i believe in prayers in numbers. maybe god doesn’t want my brother to get better, but i am praying for him to have peace thru this journey in his life. thank u for allowing me to share with you


  6. that surley is a painful thing, i cared for my dying Grandmother, and held her as she took her dying breath, i will never forget that.


  7. Taking care of sick loved ones can be very draining. It’s not the physical as much as the emotional that wears on us. Thank you for sharing your story. Your words are beautiful.


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