27 | March | 2012

Mother and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Nobody wants bad news. You ask me how I am doing today, and I smile briefly, and say fine. I turn quickly so you don’t see the tears starting to fall. A lump forms in my throat, as I still see you sitting beside me, like it was yesterday, us both talking and laughing over iced tea. You combed my hair after my bath. You bought me pretty ribbons for my hair. You tucked me in at nights and told me beautiful bed time stories. We went school shopping and I tried on lots of dresses. We went and got ice cream afterwards. You cried when you saw me receive my kindergarten graduation diploma. Learning to ride my bike wasn’t that bad, because you ran the whole way with me until the tires didn’t wiggle anymore. Kissing boo boos and big hugs was your specialty. The smell of chocolate chip cookies drifting through my nose as I came home from school. Vacations to Disney World will never be forgotten. I whispered in your ear, that I was in love. You helped me buy my first prom dress. You held me when my heart was broken. You were there when I said I Do. I saw another tear, a tear of joy. You were the first to hold your grandchild. Another tear streamed down your face from joy. You ask me how I am doing today, and I smile briefly, and say fine. I turn quickly as another tear begins to fall, and this time it is mine. My mama has been gone one year ago today.

Dedicated to Trina

Azul 5 meses de edad (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The pitter patter of little feet could be heard walking down the hall, heading to the back bedroom to see her daddy. She walked in and tugged on the blankets as she tried to crawl up on the bed. She couldn’t make it, so she walked around to the other side, and touched his arm. Stirring him he awoke to look into the eyes of his little girl. Two teeth were showing as she smiled at him and said daddy. He sat up and brushed the covers back, lifting her up and laying her down beside him. Pulling the covers up over them, she flipped them back and reached up and gave him a big squeeze.Sleep was over. Time to start the day. He sat up and grabbed her and put her on his shoulders, and they walked down the hallway to find mom. Mom was sitting on the couch with newspaper in hand resting. He put her down and let her play as he went to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. Looking out the window he knew it was going to be another beautiful day. Sun was bright, blue skies. He loved these summer days. He sat at the table drinking his coffee, listening to his little girl jabber while playing with her dolls. He decided to read the paper before thinking about what he had to do for the day. He called to his wife to bring it to him, but she didn’t respond. He walked over to get it and noticed that her lips were a light blue and her face pale. He called her name with no response. He shook her, she was lifeless. He hurried to the phone and dialed 911. Within minutes the EMS arrived. She was alive, but she needed to go to the hospital. Neighbors came out to watch and wonder what was happening. One of their closest neighbors came over allowing him to explain. She took the little girl, and waved him to go on. He got to the hospital, to find his wife having tests done. They told him it would be about a half an hour.That he should go down to the cafeteria and get himself some breakfast or coffee. He didn’t want to go. His feet were felt like cement blocks on the floor, but he knew he didn’t want to wait alone. He went to the cafeteria and bought himself a cup of coffee. When he had found a place to sit, he proceeded to call family. Before he could finish that one cup, the first family member appeared. They talked and pondered on what was happening up there. Time went by slowly, then he heard his name being called over the speakers. They got up and went back to the ER room where the doctor was waiting. The doctor said to him that he wanted to go to the office across the hall. Once inside, the doctor explained that his wife had just had an aneurism. She hadn’t felt any pain, but she was gone. Gasps could be heard, as the words came out of his mouth. Tears flowed, bodies shaking. The doctor patted him on the back, and said if there was anything he could do, just let the nurse know, and he left the room, softly shutting the door behind him.Minutes turned into hours, and before he realized it, funeral plans had been made, and he found himself standing in front of his wife’s casket. He was holding his little girl in his arms, hugging her and they were saying goodbye to mommy. He awoke the next morning with numbness completely surrounding him. He heard the cries of his little girl, letting him know she was ready to get up. He went into her room, and she raised her hands to him, showing two white teeth. He walked over to her and lifted her in his arms, hugging her close to him. Daddy and my little girl.