Versatile Award

I have once again been nominated for this wonderful award, Versatile Award.

I am not going to say anything new about myself on here, as I have told anything news worthy about me already. If you have a question for me,,,,,,,,feel free to ask. I don’t know if I have ever mentioned this before, I probably have, lol, and if I have please bear with me, and if not, this is new readings for you. For many months and months I had prayed to our wonderful Lord to make me useful. You see, in my eyes, it is not a normal thing to stay home and not do anything. Of course, I care for my brother, tending to all of his medical needs, but in society’s eyes, this can be looked at as lazy, and no good. I prayed for God to help me be useful to someone else. I thought that what I was doing here inside these walls was not useful. One day, God lead me to this blog site. I prayed for him to help me to help someone else. He did answer my prayer on March 6th, 2012. He has made me understand that the care I give my brother is very important work in God’s eyes. He has helped me to reach out to others and share , allowing others to not feel so alone. Sometimes when we are looking for the miracle, or the answered prayer, we are blinded by not seeing it right in front of us. I don’t have to be a star on TV, nor a cheer leader for a sports team. I just have to be me, a child of God. It was too simple, and I never realized it until all of you started responding to my stories. I thank God for each of you every night when I lie down to go to sleep. You have made me feel needed, and you have provided me comfort through my journey with my brother. I thank God for small miracles.


The person who nominated me today is

Thank you for this nomination.

I always hate choosing someone for a new nomination because I don’t want to leave anyone out, but for tonight, I am choosing one.

This is a wonderful blogging site. I am lifted when I am down, and when I am frustrated there are verses given to me

Thank you again,



I Made Myself Walk Out The Door

I am back home. From a day of mixed emotions. The new caregiver showed up promptly. In fact, she was ten minutes early, and I was not the one who was quite ready. You know how it is when company is coming to YOUR home, and you don’t really know them. You get up in the morning, and you have already made preparations for this morning, the night before. Your clothes are nicely laid out. You have had your shower the night before also, saving much time in the morning. This morning, I got myself my first cup of coffee, and sipped on it savoring every drop. I listened to the news for a while, only wanting to know the forecast for this coming Saturday, the big birthday party. What? Rain? A chance? Oh please Lord, I ask for so many things, but please, just one more thing, don’t let it rain this Saturday for Al’s birthday. I will handle gloom, heat, and humidity, but please no rain. This will be a high priority on my prayer list  this week. I read some emails, which now seeing my email box, I wish I had read faster and more! It is alright though, don’t worry, I love knowing someone thinks about me through out the day. After drinking my coffee, Al got up. After he was seated and safe, I went in my bedroom and got dressed. I then hurried around straightening up and cleaning up the kitchen a bit. I didn’t want this new lady to think I was a slob. I made myself sit and eat my Cheerios, and just as I was taking my dirty bowl to the dishwasher, the door bell rang. There she was! I had not brushed my hair or teeth. I let her in and took care of the rest of myself. She was sitting on one side of the couch, and Al was sitting on the opposite side. All was silent. I felt small butterflies become active  in my tummy. Nerves were kicking in. I sat down and started a surface conversation. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and knew I was to have been out of here by now. Something kept me seated. It was as if I was dropping my kids off at kindergarten all over again, except I was leaving my brother in a strangers care. Fifteen minutes went by, and we sort of just looked at each other. I stood up and cleared my throat. I pasted on my false smile, and told her my phone number again for the second time. I forced myself out of the house. Got in my car, and off I went. Turned my radio on, and by the time I was out of the addition, I had my window down half way, had the tunes turned up, and I was smiling. I went to the beauty salon and got my hair reshaped, and talked non important chat with the beautician. After that relaxation was over, I picked some items up, most of them being for the birthday party. I picked out Al’s birthday gift and wrapping to go with it. After leaving this store, I went to Al’s favorite restaurant. It is a pharmacy store with a luncheonette in the back. Everyone that worked there asked where my second half was. ( This store has known my brother and I since we were five and four years old.) I told them all the same thing, that I had hired a caregiver. You would have thought that I had a cheering block all around me. Everyone was happy and excited for me, telling me that I needed this break each week. Telling me how much better I would feel when I got back home to him. I bought Al the new shower chair we needed. He can no longer pick up his legs to lift them over the tub, so I bought the four-legged one where two feet sit outside the tub and two feet sit inside the tub. Hopefully, with the caregiver’s help, he can sit down on the shower chair, and with help can be turned in the chair to sit straight in the shower. I think this will be easier than him standing and leaning and almost falling each time trying to cross over the tub into the shower. I ate lunch there, and then went to the grocery store and picked up everything off of my list for foods for Saturday, and of course, some added extras. I am always bad at this. Are you? Or do you go by the list exactly, or do you not use a list? The five hours flew by. I am now home, and have put all groceries in their place. I am sitting here relaxing and drinking a cup of coffee. I have 15 minutes to spare, before he is up and wanting his supper. Back to my routine once again, with a very nice break in between

Example of an American grocery store aisle.

Example of an American grocery store aisle. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My First Day Of Alone Time

Although, the eye awoke to total gray, there was an excitement stirring inside. Anxious feet jumped out of bed, making their way to the bathroom for morning business. A splash of water on the eyes, to pop them open, a spot of toothpaste on the brush, to chase the over night cotton mouth away. Back in the bedroom, there was much thought put into the clothes to be worn this day. Comfort had to be a priority. There would be much walking today, and there was no desire to have any extra aches and pains from wearing the uncomfortable clothes. When I am home all day, I tend to throw on something, anything for casual wear. With not expecting any company, nor planning to go anywhere, who cares what rests upon this body? Today, though is different. Comfort and attractive. I am not a thin person, but I do believe I can dress for the opposite eyes to gaze my way, with careful planning. I want to stop the thought process for a moment, and tell you of my dream I had last night. I would really appreciate your input on this. My brother worked for a linen company for many years. They were a laundry company, cleaning linens, mops, changing out mats, pretty much anything a company or restaurant would use and need cleaned. The owners  of the company were a very nice Christian family. They thought a lot of my brother through-out his life work there, and they worked very hard to accommodate my brother’s medical issues. When my brother had his heart attack, and it became time to return to work, they gave him more chances than anyone should have  to try to do the work, but unfortunately, he had slowed down in his body and could not come close to the percentage work rate, so they had no choice but to let him go. Many tears were shed that day between office personal, bosses, and my brother. In my dream, I saw some of the people coming to our home to wish Al a happy birthday. This morning, the dream was still with me. So the question is, should I call the company and issue an informal invitation to come stop by for a moment to wish him a happy birthday? It would be very informal, no plans to stay, just a run in and out visit, with a few minutes of chat. It has been five years since Al has worked there. When we moved back here from Florida last fall, Al wanted to go visit. We just dropped in on them unexpectedly. They seemed so genuinely happy to see him. They held his arm and walked with him through a short tour of the plant, allowing him to see all his old work friends. As we were ready to leave, they presented him with a T-shirt, with their logo on it, and some trinkets. So with all this information, I would appreciate your honest input. I am not the one who should decide, because if it were left up to me, I would scream it to the world, hey world! it is my brother’s birthday! come say hello to him. I will need this decision by tomorrow, as time is running short. Alright, so now that dream part if over. I pick out my clothes. A pair of skinny white stretch pants with lace on the bottom edges, a blue tank top with a built-in bra, so I don’t have to mess with a regular bra, and a peach colored long-tailed cotton shirt. I slip on my socks and shoes, spray on some of my perfume, and go comb my hair. I glance in the mirror,and the reflection glancing back at me, is never the one I actually see in my mind, but I look alright, am clean and cutely dressed. I will have five hours all to myself. I plan to get my hair trimmed, by Al his birthday gift. I have a written list ready to go with me, of foods I need to get, and odds and ends, I don’t want to have to return to the store later to get, so they have stars beside them.  It will not be a day of leisure for me, but it will be a day of less stress. I am looking forward to my first day of alone time.

Balloons over World Rowing Event

Balloons over World Rowing Event (Photo credit: possumgirl2)

My Brother’s Birthday Surprise From You to Him

May 3rd, is my brother’s birthday. To me this is a very special birthday, as he is not feeling that well any longer. His Parkinson’s and Dementia have slowed down his life quite a bit. I am no longer sure if he will be with me next year here at home or not. For this reason, I have made a special Facebook page dedicated just to him. I am going to print it off after his birthday is over so that he can keep it and read all the birthday wishes from so many loved ones. I want him to be able to look at it when he is feeling sickly and realize people care. Won’t you please help me by stopping by at the link I am providing and wish him a Happy 57? Just call him Al. Here is the link


This will mean more to me than him I am sure. The memories will be for me to cling to in later times. Will you all please do this for me?

Thank you,


A blogger friend


Ice skating in Montreal, Canada.

Ice skating in Montreal, Canada. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two white washed, wooden rockers sat on the porch. A small plastic table sat between them. A potted plant, resting on the table. As you  walked across the wrap a round porch, the loose boards would creak from the many steps that had been taken through the years. When you walked to the other side you could see a muddy pair of mens  boots, that used to be black in color, and a pair of worn gloves with the index finger missing. Beside these were a smaller pair of rubber boots, gray from mud, and water streaked from where they had been rinsed off with a  hose. A pair of green printed gloves lay atop of the boots, and there was a garden hoe, standing to the side.  As you looked out over the porch, you could see the trees reaching up to heaven. If you looked a little further, they blended as one. Rows of corn could be seen for what seemed to be miles. The corn was up about six inches. Off in the distance, there were deer running about. Families were together, running to and fro through the woods. When you shifted yourself to the side, the old family barn with chipped paint stood standing. Representing generations of the family name. Chirping birds could be seen and heard fluttering in and out of the guttering, where they had built their tiny nests. Many good times could be brought to the fore front of the mind, with no hesitation of days gone by, swinging on the rope swings and falling into  hay mounds. Stepping away from the house, making your way down the gravel path, you could see where  families  had come together to work the ground, sow the seed, and harvest the finished product. To the side of the barn the black kettle leaned against the barn, waiting to be used once again for home-made vegetable soup to be made over the open fire, in the fall. A picnic table sat close by, waiting to be adorned with lots of laughter and food. A pile of wood lay next to the barn. Many a hot dog and marshmallow  were cooked over the open fires.  About twenty feet from this rested a copper kettle, that after most of a day, the best tasting apple butter could be eaten. Looking straight out from this spot you could see the lone acorn tree, standing tall and erect, with memories of Susie and Missy, the family dogs, now  resting in comfort, keeping the tree company. When you continued to walk a little further down the gravel path, the smell of lilac bushes  would enter your nose. There was a large garden of all types of colorful flowers  blooming. On one side of the garden was a pear tree. Memories came flooding back from the many times pears had been  picked, and washed off by  the arm, and with the heat of the sun, were warm  and delicious.. At one time, years ago, this garden replaced a large dip in the earth. This dip held many rains in the spring and the fall. With the fall rains, brought cold temperatures, and magically produced a wonderful ice skating rink. Much laughter was heard, as beginners and experienced skaters would slip on their Christmas skates and go skating on the pond. Twirling and speeding and sometimes falling and tears could be seen. As you walked on through the gravel path, coming back around to where you started you could view many lilies, planted with love by the woman of the house. Each flower represented a child that had been born in this family along with the parents and grandparents. They were a breath-taking sight. Delicate, and yet strong enough to hold each white petal. Everything looked the same, and yet all had changed. The familiar cars that always took over the garage, were no longer there. Now replaced with newer  models of a younger age group. The garden area was now covered with weeds, and there were no beautiful vegetable plants pushing up to God. The black kettle and the copper kettle were no longer seen. The name on the mailbox was foreign. A part of the land had been turned from corn, and was replaced with a bare earthen path, that made a circle, which now held four wheelers and bikes. When you glanced at the house, it looked the same, but peeking through the windows, the old, familiar window coverings had been changed to more modern, colorful, country plaids. Standing there alone, in a familiar setting, taking in the flooding of memories, brought mixed emotions of smiles and tears. Shielding the sun with my hand, looking in all directions, were wonderful memories, that would always be cherished. This is where I was raised. This was where I was taught about God, and learned about how God’s earth feeds the body. I kissed my first date out on the porch. My first car was parked in the drive. I brought my first child here to be held and loved. I mourned the loss of loved ones here. This is where I came when life was out of control, being able to talk to parents, who would help set me on the right path again. This was my home. My home that now belongs to a brand new family. I got in my car, and started the engine, refusing to move, taking in every view and smell, boring them farther into my memories. Time does not stand still. We are forced to accept change. I drive out of the drive way, not looking back, never wanting to touch this ground again. I would leave with my thoughts, savoring each precious memory, realizing this was no longer my home.