The Cold Bed

A Hill-Rom hospital bed

A Hill-Rom hospital bed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lying in the cold bed, feeling the cold plastic under the sheet when I move my leg to a more comfortable spot. Kleenex in hand.  Looking out the window, seeing nothing. Back hurting. In need of a different position. Try scooting myself up, but too weak to do it. No one in here. Light is out of my reach. Having to use the bathroom, but not able to let anyone know. Glancing up at the wall clock. Lunch is in two hours. Will someone come by before then? Bed is wet, I couldn’t wait. Cold was touching my bones.Feet were peeking out from the end of the bed, where I had shifted my legs too much. Burning sensation. Help me, someone please come in and ask me how I am doing, do I need anything. Eyes closing, but not tired. Restless. Wondering how my kids are doing. It was going to be Easter this Sunday. Would they come? Would they bring the grandchildren? I got to paint a couple of eggs earlier this week. I have been saving them for the little ones.  Lunch time. They are here to get me up into my wheel chair. I heard two of them mumbling together about how they were going to be late to the dining room, because now they had to stop and change my clothes. They didn’t realize I could hear the nasty remarks they were saying about me. My hearing is still very good. They told me to roll over. I did the best I could, but required help to finish the request. All done now, and up in my chair. A feeling of dizziness as my head was now in an upright position. Dining room was filled with chatter. People were talking about how they had been outside, or they had played bingo, or made a craft. Sitting across from three others, no one spoke, and so I also said nothing. Not recognizing lunch, no one explained what it was. All foods were mashed. An hour has passed and I am back in my bed. I prayed for a quick death. I didn’t want to live anymore. 90-year-old female, time of passing, 1:14pm. Tuesday, April 2nd, 2012. Services, no visitation, burial at Oakdale cemetary.

10 thoughts on “The Cold Bed

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