Fight or Flight


Panic attack

Panic attack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

She sat hidden in her home, afraid to even peek out the window. Her palms were sweaty, and her breathing was rapid. Her life consisted of being part owner of an antique store and  caring for her dog and two cats. Inside, her four walls, life seemed pretty normal, but if someone came to the door,or she was in the public eye, you could observe her body gently quivering, a paleness white washing through out  her face. Her eyes would become large with fear. Once she was at work, and her partner she worked with had an appointment that  morning, and wouldn’t be in for about two hours. The building they rented became silent. She could hear the creaks coming through the walls. The floors crackled as she walked from room to room, straightening items on tables and shelves. A customer came in. She glued on her nicest smile, and welcomed them to their antique store. After a nice sale, she could feel her heart starting to race a little bit. She immediately told herself to stop it. This is ridiculous. She was at work and she wasn’t going to deal with this. Go away! As she went about her morning  checking on her inventory, she could feel her fingers start to shake and the back of her hair was beginning to cling to her neck. She walked into the bathroom, and took a couple of paper towels and wet them in cold water. She wiped her forehead off, and the back of her neck. She sat on the stool, with her head bent between her legs, trying to get the dizziness to stop. The doctors had told her before that the only thing that was going on with her was inside her head. She was becoming an emotional mess.That if she didn’t get control of this she would end up in some loony farm. The doctors had offered her  nerve medicine, but she refused to fill the scripts, knowing that wasn’t her problem. Another doctor had told her she was having panic attacks, and that she would feel this way, but to just let herself feel each thing that was happening, and she would realize after wards she wasn’t going to die. After feeling like she was going to pass out, and feeling the trembling going on all over her body, it did stop. Her heart started to slow down. She got up from the stool, and forced herself to open the back door and walk outside into the bright summer day. She inhaled the fresh air and forced a smile  back on her face. In about ten minutes, she was back to her normal self. It had worked! She had honed in on the reactions her body was going through, and realized she was not going to die. She fought it! She made it! She still had the panic attacks happen, but each time they did, she would practice repeatedly staying in touch with what has happening inside. Eventually, the panic attacks would only visit if she was extremely tired. She would take control, and often times take a nap, waking, feeling refreshed and able to go on with her day.

2 thoughts on “Fight or Flight

  1. I’ve had a panic attack before..well..I had 3 over two days..and going from zero panic attacks ever to 3 over two days was pretty scary for me..luckily I haven’t had another one since..
    I can totally relate to this..

    Like

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