I Don’t Want To Be Reminded


self portrait of sadness

self portrait of sadness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How can a person proclaiming to be a Christian, who believes in the almighty God, feel so low one day and up the next. Where is the smooth running hours that turn into days? Why do we not lean on the word of God more? A problem arises and instantly the mood has changed. Word was just received, as I was sitting here writing this, that former friends and family are saying rude remarks about our lives. Explaining a bit further, without boring you, when a parent passes on, although it is very hurtful, sometimes people change towards the children. Wills, estates, monies, finances can cause great problems, and friendships to drift apart. Suddenly you find yourself separated from this or that person by no choice of your own. This is something that was experienced in our family. The reason I bring this up, is that all of these people were close friends for at least twenty years. All attended the same church, went to the same church activities, camped together in the summers, spent holidays together, and proclaim to be strong, devoted Christians. What once was beautiful memories of long time past, is now a hurt felt memory. I am sorry. You must be thinking to yourself, what a pity, but move on, get over it. It is done and over with. I had done quite well for some time, but now with my brother’s dementia and Parkinson’s becoming more aggressive, talk of the past is part of our daily lives. Constant reminders are thrown in my face more than I want to admit. It takes one phone call, someone letting you know the stories are still an ongoing thing. All of a sudden the bubble is burst once again,and the pains come roaring like a lion all to surface again. This mood shall also pass, the hurt being hidden in the back of the mind, today concentrating on a new problem my brother is dealing with. Only to be dealt with again, at some point. I want to take this bucket of painful memories and  put it in a coffin, and bury it in some over grown  field, to never rise again.

13 thoughts on “I Don’t Want To Be Reminded

  1. Nothing hurts more than the betrayal of a friend. Pray for them. Think about calling them, if you are ready, and extend more trust. Extend the Lord’s loving arms from your pain, and you might witness a miracle.
    Remember though, you are human. And you are blessed.

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  2. i have forgiven, i did that a couple of years ago, but it doesn’t stop them from trying to hurt me. this is the hard part for me. i just wish they would leave us alone.

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  3. Oh God I can so relate – without going into a long explanation – my mother had Alzheimer’s and a family member who claimed to be supportive was spreading and saying hurtful things about me – talk about kicking someone when they are down! I hold no grudges nor am I angry and I completely forgive – however, I don’t want these people in my life anymore – I’ve moved on and from what I’ve heard – these people have not!

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