Today


Praying for help

Praying for help (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This morning I woke early. the daylight was just beginning to appear. I felt shame as soon as my brain allowed me to begin thinking. I am ashamed because I am weak. I must be playing games with myself, believing to be this strong christian woman, but showing the world that I need help and prayers. Instead, I should be on bent knee, with silence all around, talking to God, and letting him know how I feel. Asking him for a miracle, or an understanding of why this is happening in my brother’s life. I go through out my days, talking to God like he is my best friend. Many times I do not start out our conversations with Dear Father. I start them like I would if you and I were sitting here sharing a conversation and drinking our coffee. Maybe I am not respectful enough to God. Maybe I have become to comfortable, and am doing all the speaking and forgetting to listen to the answers he is giving. I am guilty of being so involved with caring for my brother, that I do not take that few moments of my day in the beginning, to just sit and humble myself in his eyes. I have grown accustomed to just talking to him like an old friend. I had many dreams last night, most I do not remember this morning, but there must have been one that entered my sub conscience  strong enough to make me feel like I have given all of you the opinion that I am not a believer, and that I am very weak. Today, I will try harder. Today, I will ask God for more help. Today, I will start to write more stories that will entertain you instead of making you feel pity for me. Today, I will make changes.

24 thoughts on “Today

  1. I speak to God as if he is sitting across from me with his cup of coffee. He is our best friend. And he understands where you are. Relaxed, comfortable enough to do as you are is something God enjoys and loves. He is not this stiff, ogre sitting on a throne laughing at our mistakes which is the great deception of the enemy. He is far from this and wants to show us his true character. Hang in there; keep doing what you are doing. Your answers will reveal themselves in those cries of your heart. He wants your brother well. Blessings for your honesty….

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    • thank u for your uplifting words. i thought maybe god wasn’t bringing peace to my brother because i was being too informal when speaking to him. i just don’t understand why he allows this suffering for my brother. what can be gained?

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  2. Terry, you don’t have to feel pressured to entertain us. You don’t owe us a thing. You have opened yourself up and allowed is into your life, the good and the bad, the struggles and successes, the joy and the heartbreak. I feel that we blessed because of it. Thank you for sharing and if I personally can be of any help to you at all, please let me know. My brother has my number. feel free to call anytime. Take care and God bless.

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  3. Terry – I talk to God like he’s my friend all the time – I think he likes to be invited in for coffee – what you are going through with your brother is so much and you are such an angel taking care of him – this blog is giving you an outlet to share and hopefully relieve some pressures – use this blog as you need – be that blogs about your brother or blogs about anything and everything – God knows more than anyone what you and your brother are going through. God bless both of you on this journey.

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    • o you have no idea how much your words mean to me. it brings tears to my eyes, to know someone understands me, and that it is ok to talk to god as my friend. i thought maybe i was being to formal with god and he was ignoring my prayers to bring comfort to my brother. god bless

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      • I’m so glad – I know God is there – just sometimes you don’t know it and what I’ve learned about prayer is that so often I pray and pray and I don’t get the results I want but then somewhere down the line I understand that even though things did not go as I would of liked, or rather, liked I prayed – God knew exactly what I needed and he took care of me and my family in the end – hang in there and keep talking to God as your friend – he’s listening!

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  4. I believe God would rather you talk to Him as a friend! We were created to have fellowship with Him and to grow closer to Him as we mature in our relationship. He is our friend and comforter and you are fine talking to Him as you would any other friend.

    Being a caregiver takes a special person and you should be proud of the task God has given you. I was the care giver for my mother-in-law during her last years of life. At first I did it because no one in her family could handle it, then I realized how God was guiding me through the process and how she would light up when I walked into the room. I was a very important part of her life – she called me Joe Angel – and she became an important part of my life. As her caregiver I made sure her last months were rich with joy and we were blessed in that experience. I think if you were to count your blessings, one of them would be – you are there to help your brother and he is blessed because of it.

    Walk daily with God at your side!

    Ed.

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  5. You’re a joy Terry. Speaking with God is welcoming Him in to your day and your circumstances. Over a cup of coffee, driving in your car, laying in your bed, anywhere Terry, God welcomes conversation. And quiet time. Never doubt the value and wisdom ‘you’re’ receiving when you include God into all of your day. Continue to look at your brother as a blessing, because he is.

    God is doing great things in the lives of believers, removing and replacing, tearing down and building up, closing doors and opening new ones. All for His glory.

    Keep the faith Terry. God bless you.

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  7. I can think of no better way to pray than to talk to God as though He is your friend. I’ve been reading a couple of Psalms each day recently, and that seems to me exactly the way David approached God’s throne.

    What an honest post you have shared here, but do know that your humble heart, your desire to connect to God, and your confession that He alone is your strength is all the evidence needed to know that you truly are seeking to live a Christ-centered life. Nonetheless, I completely understand your post 🙂 It’s so easy to feel this way about our walk with God when we feel out of sorts about other areas of life.

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  8. i talk to God like he is right here sitting by me..which i hear he is..its great that you have all these people that care for you and your brother..God is there..a lot of times i feel he isn’t but his word says he is..that a lone is what we stand on..

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