Just For Today


Deutsch: Rodolphe ist in Eile, denn es weihnac...

Deutsch: Rodolphe ist in Eile, denn es weihnachtet sehr. 😉 English: Rodolphe has to hurry up, Christmas is coming soon. 😉 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think there is a shorted wire in my brain somewhere, that prevents me from what I see most of you doing in your lives. Wow! This is really hard to type the word onto this page, but is it that I am really just plain too lazy? Oh my gosh, that one hurt. I don’t like that word. It puts a knot in my gut. It brings guilt to me and I suck it right in, like there is no tomorrow. I make promises to myself. You would laugh at me if you knew how many arguments I have with myself on a nightly basis. I win each night, and I lose each morning. The best part of my day is not Folgers in my cup, it is the peace. Peace of a new day. Joy of watching the sun rise. The silence of the traffic. The quietness coming from my brother’s room. Yes, the aroma coming through my nostrils of my coffee being made. To look outside my windows and see the calmness in the trees. The cat walking down the road without fear of being hit by a speeding car. Birds at my bird feeder. These non important, tiny little, routine things I do each morning are the basis of who I am. Then the television is turned on as my brother comes out for his breakfast. Instantly my world changes. It is like night and day. Are you an allergy sufferer? Do you have trouble keeping an erection? Do you feel bloated? Does your lipstick wear off before its time? Are you depressed? Have you started your new exercise program so you can be in your bikini by summer? Do you have thinning hair? Do you have enough life insurance, or are you going to be a burden for you family? Do you need to dial lonely chat phone line, because you have no love life? Have you been injured by someone and need to sue? The list goes on and on. With being a caregiver, I am more at home then out of the home. FAMILIAR words that I hear, come from the television. Doubts start entering my once peaceful, accepting world. I look at my face in the mirror, and see the signs of aging staring back at me. I look at myself fully in mirror, and see  more than a pinch in too many places. I look through my kitchen cupboards, and see all too familiar foods, waiting for me to open. I look at my coffee cup, now  filled with disgusting caffeine. My cigarettes are sitting beside my cup, waiting to be inhaled, filling me with black tar. I should change everything in my life. The television has told me so. I am not who I am supposed to be. I have not become a person of a health conscience world. I have not went and thrown everything out of my cupboards and replaced them with complete, healthy foods. I don’t call a plastic surgeon and schedule my Botox appointment. I didn’t call the most popular diet program. I didn’t give up my cigarettes  for today. Instead, I have chosen to do what? Be myself? Be lazy? Worry about someone else besides me? Decide to accept me for who I am? Maybe I am just plain lazy. Maybe I have just made the determination that this is who I am. This is who God hath made. For today, I will be a caregiver. Today, I will try my best to do what is the right thing for me. There is room for improvement, but for today I will accept that I will fail at something. Today, I will try to give comfort and love to another human being. Today, I will try to be proud of the fact, that where I started is not the same as today. Just for today, I will be satisfied with who I am.

25 thoughts on “Just For Today

  1. To me, there is nothing better to look out across the dew covered fields at sunrise and to watch the bees flit from flower to flower. To listen to the happy song the birds sing in the trees. This is another day that God has made, let us rejoice in it.
    There is no room for feeling sorry for the task I have taken on, for God deemed me capable to handle it and has given me the resources needed to complete it.
    The saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder reminds us that we need to see ourselves in a positive light for we reflect what we feel. Let your light shine!

    God loves you!

    Walk daily with God at your side!

    Ed

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  2. Terry, I am going to tell you something that you, obviously, already know… what this world tells you to do, and be, is not what life is all about.
    The real purpose to our life is trusting Christ, helping others and bringing honor to the great Lord we serve. Based upon this definition of life, I contend that you are the one who is laboring and constantly busy… the world is the lazy one.
    Lord bless you today, Terry, We’re praying for you and your brother.

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  3. I too win battles at night only to lose them in the morning. (I hate the word “lose, loose”, never know how to spell it.) I can only imagine what it is like to be a caregiver in the way you are with your brother. Up and down isn’t it. I am glad you celebrate the small but large victories each day such as when the doctor’s visit in your other post went so well. Hang in there.

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  4. You’re not alone with these dissapointing realizations that the material world is ..well out to get us! I get bothered by the little screens in grocery aisles that sense your presence , flick on and start yelling at you! all familiar tag lines.. underlying message, GIVE ME YOUR LAST DOLLAR , GIVE ME GIVE ME GIVE ME!!

    You’re doing a job that is highly regarded – working with another human being on that level is so genuine and real… sure beats working in a warehouse, or trying to sell a product and take other peoples money.

    It’s in those small moments you had in the morning… the birds …the sun rising..the quietness in the street..live for those moments- they are so magical!!! I love mornigns because of the joy they bring.. it’s really a magical time of day.. like my post little golden pockets.. monday morning I felt exactly what you woke up to and it was sooooooo wonderful !!

    Let’s look forward to tomorrow morning, together 🙂

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    • it warms my heart to know that someone understands truly what i have said. tomorrow when you rise, and look out your peaceful window, remember, in shadows you will find me standing with you

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  5. Very nice post! I really appreciate your open and honest way of sharing everyday life through your blog, and I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Please see faithrises.com for more information. Blessings to you! 🙂

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  6. Such a wonderful post!! We all have things we might want or need to change about ourselves, but why? We are who God made us, right? We need to be happy in who we are and the small triumphs we have everyday. Some days just managing to get up and get going is enough of a triumph. I admit that I do watch a lot of television and really get tired of it telling me everything that is wrong with me!! Also, let’s remember that all that so called advice on tv is to get us to give somebody our hard earned money!!
    May God bless you and yours.

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    • you are so right! i need to keep remembering this. i think because I stay home and care for my brother, I am not doing all i could be in the world. thank u for your comment

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  7. Love this post especially as I’ve been sitting in front of the boob tube feeling the same way, like everyone else is ‘normal’, and I’m somehow not accepting that it’s okay to fail at times. I think that really adds relief. That it’s okay not to be victorious in everything. By acknowledging the pain that comes with that, we can move onto the next task, which is, self-perseverance. You articulate this so well. We all want to get healthier (Julie Chen just said this on The Talk), so like, you’re not alone. Much support with you all. 😀 And Sharon Osbourne agrees too with the above. She lays on the sofa, eating ice cream, pouring sweat.

    Apparently, we’re all human. 😀

    Pink.

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    • yes, u r so right, we are all human, we love, hate, and feel pain all alike. it is friends such as you, Pink, that keep me going. i also want to say, i have big issues with getting older, i shouldn’t, i can’t stop it, but i do, and lastly, i love The Talk!!!! Love the stars in it and all they have to say. Then next time I am watching it, your name will enter my mind. You and I are alike in some ways. It is a good feeling when what we feel, we realize that we are not alone,…

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      • Greetings! Yes, Love The Talk! They were so honest about Marky Marks um, short shorts today. Droool…. And thank you for letting me into your circle of friends, I’m happy to be of support as it lifts me out of my own pits too. 😀 We are definitely alike, your strength totally amazes me. If anything, just remember one day, one hour, even just one second at a time…

        Hugs and much love!

        Pink.

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      • i am happy to have u a part of my life. sometimes it is difficult to open your soul to bare all, but knowing that someone understands is worth it. i feel blessed by you

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