Today was interesting. Nothing dramatic, but yet, I am totally exhausted. I went to bed last night with a sharp pain in my one eye. I thought , oh no, another infection. I had just completed a round of antibiotics two weeks prior. I had some how passed this on to the other eye. Of course, on Thursdays, my family doctor is not in, so I had to go to the clinic. I get these infections in the spring, so I am thinking allergy. I had one last spring also. This was not on my brother’s agenda for today, but I needed to go. So after getting both of us around this morning, we headed off to the doctor. I tried talking to him about different things he had interests in, but no movement from his mouth. As I glanced over at him, I saw the tears. I thought to myself, no, not another day, not today, when I have things to do. I had no choice. We kept going. He refused to come in to the doctor’s office with me, so he waited in the waiting area, and I continued back with worry on my mind, that he would still be there when I was finished. No one will keep their eye on him so I can go to see a doctor alone, as they all say it is not their responsibility, and they don’t hire babysitters. I don’t need a freaking babysitter, I need a watchful eye!. OK, whatever, so be it. I got another tube of medicine, and we left. Him slowly behind me, walking slower than any turtle you have ever seen. It is the Parkinson’s. I know this, but sometimes, I just wish I could pick him up and carry him. We go to the pharmacy and get medication filled and pick up his other medications that were waiting for us. We go to Wal-Mart. I had plenty of things I needed to get, part of what I needed was for his big birthday bash, and the other part was groceries, and then odds and ends. Which meant strolling in too many directions for him. He rode the electric scooter, but the speed in which he uses it, I almost wonder if he could walk faster. We got all that we needed, except one thing, and I asked him if he wanted to eat at the Subway inside of Wal-Mart, and he shook his head up and down in a yes formation. When trying to get off the scooter, he didn’t get it stopped, and almost fell to the floor. Then more tears, people looking, him saying too loudly, I couldn’t get it stopped. It wouldn’t stop. It tried to hurt me!. Tears running, nose running, and I trying to run, but standing still. Some older lady was watching all of this take place, and thanks to all of you bloggers, I looked her straight in the face, and asked her, haven’t you ever seen a grown man cry? She said huh? I said to her with a straight drill sergeant face, quit staring, we are doing alright. She got up and left. It’s alright with me, she was finished eating, and I wasn’t going to entertain her for free this time. She had to pay a price. I patted myself on the back for saying what I had always thought, and got him all situated, and we went on to get the grocery part. We finally got done, and went to the register. My heart fell out of my chest, when I saw the total! I knew that we were going to be spending extra, but because my mind is all over the place, concentration is not a number one on my list when we go shopping together. I tried so hard to hang on to my money, but my good part of my mind, forced my hand to direct it to the other hand and lay it where it belonged. The many bags, my cart, me, him and the scooter, a small parade here, made our way to the car. I put all in the trunk and back seat, got him buckled in. Now he starts smiling. Gosh darn! Now? No tears out here in the car. Why didn’t this happen inside the store? We were going home, he was going to be taking his nap. This is where the smiles and chat were coming from. We got home. I unlocked doors, carried groceries, helped him inside the house, made sure he was safely sitting down, unloaded the groceries, put them away, got him safely in his bed, poured me a cup of coffee, lit my cigarette, and am not taking deep breaths, rubbing my sore feet, and talking to you.