No Routine Here

Autumn crocuses at Killerton. Growing in the shade of a tree, with Sedum in a border in the background. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you get used to your every day routine? I think I do. I proved it to myself most of today. The sun was out, the weather perfect. I cleaned our home from yesterday’s party. Mopped my kitchen floor. Went outside and finished putting everything back in the shed, that I wasn’t going to be needing for a while. I stopped and sat down, and went down yesterday’s memories. Reliving the time my daughter and I spent on the swing, just sitting side by side, with sometimes no talking. Watching my grandchildren, running and playing. Laughing so easily, no worries or concerns in their innocent, little minds. I watched my son, who I have secretly named my Grill Chef. He flipped hamburgers so easily, as if he had done it his whole life. He split wood and never let the fires get low. He managed to spend his time at the grill and also pay attention to his family. It gives me great joy to see the children I bore, become outstanding adults. I see qualities in each of my kids, that I am so proud of. The friends who came for the party were so kind. The attention they gave to Al was genuine. I am truly blessed to have these people in my lives. I sat on my swing, and laid my hand on the spot beside me, trying to bring back the presence of my daughter. A tear formed for just a moment, as I miss her so much. I got up from the swing and walked around my home, looking at the freshly cut grass, done by my son only yesterday. I see the neighbors homes and know each of them well enough, that if there were an emergency, I could go to them. I feel safe here. There is a peace in our yard as I look at the huge shade trees all around. I see the birds and the squirrels who have come to depend on me for their treats. Today is certainly different. Al has had no tears today. He told me he is emotional at supper. I asked him what he meant, and he said he didn’t know why, he just was. I suppose it may have to do with the silence of today versus the noise of yesterday. I have not had the phone ring once today. I have left the television off for most of the day also. I have heard no swearing. This is not a normal day for me, but a day I have truly enjoyed. It is nice to have a day with out routine.

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They Would Not Listen~

They Would Not Listen~

Feet of poor Vietnamese girl. I took this picture. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Creeping along the corners, catching a glimpse with my eye. Unwanted guests entering  my door, sneaking in without an invitation. Looking up and down I see the swiftness of his movement. I tell him to leave, but he doesn’t listen. I go to the kitchen and take my weapon off of my wall, where it has been resting peacefully all winter long. I ask my brother if he has seen this guest, and he does admit, he has seen several, and wondered if I let them in. I notice that he is already stationed in his chair with his own weapon resting on his lap, ready for action. He is in watchful eye mode. I return to my comfort chair in the living room, and I keep watchful eye on my feet. They seem to like bare feet. Although I took my daily shower this morning, this means nothing to them. As he rests close to me, the thought of him wanting to become closer to me makes me feel so dirty. I pray inside, asking him to go away, and leave me alone. Please don’t touch me. When you touch my hair, it gives me shivers. I wonder what you are doing where I can not see you hiding. Are you calling your friends to come rest on my hair? Do you plan on having a party, without my knowledge? I sit very still, trying to breathe softly. I use my eyes to glance in all directions, fearful of what is coming up behind me, but not daring to move in order to see. It doesn’t matter what room I visit here at home, they follow me. I have seen them sneaking into my kitchen, crawling on my floors. They even visit me when I use the restroom, but the ultimate, is when they visit me at night. Afraid to lay my covers at the end of the bed, when I get too warm, for fear they will attack me. Leaving their mark where ever they land. They try to make me giggle, by softly landing on my nose, or on my finger. I have told them and warned them to leave, but they are not taking my warning. I hate being ignored. Now, I mean business. This game is over. I tried softly speaking. I tried screaming. I even opened the door allowing them to leave with no punishment and no words said. I am out of patience. Now I shall show them who is boss of this kingdom. I stand in the middle of my living room, with a fly swatter in one hand, and fly killer spray in the other. I shall win!!

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Al’ Birthday Party

Al’ Birthday Party

The morning was gloomy and gray, but I was not worried. I had prayed to God to grant us one nice day with no rain, and he did answer the prayer. Around one in the afternoon, the gray lifted, being replaced by sunny skies, a light breeze, and perfect temperatures. I knew in my heart this was going to be a good day, as the day was all about Al. I started my morning off with giving God all my thanks and any concerns I had, then I sat in silence and drank my two cups of coffee. I tried answering some emails, replies on WordPress, and started to become a tiny stressed, as I was receiving more emails than I could keep up with. It wasn’t that I had so many replies, it is the replies from every blogger and all of their replies. This is stressful to me, as I always try to succeed in answering all. When I awoke this morning and checked my emails, it was over one thousand. I am afraid, bloggers and friends will think I am ignoring them, but sincerely I am not. I do not care for this new idea that is happening. I spent about an hour answering comments, and then I needed to get around with finishing touches on Al’s party. About fifteen people showed up. No one from his prior work place came, so I was glad I had not told Al about this possibility and left it a surprise that had dissolved into thin air. No disappointment for him on this part. My son and his family came down and started the fire pit, and he had a very nice fire going in no time at all. We sat up chairs, and I got the table ware set up inside. My daughter came then with her family, and together we finished everything that had been left to do. We then spent good times together catching up with what had been going on in our lives. She lives in another state, and I look so forward to her coming, and the moment they leave, my heart aches, as I know I won’t see her for some time. Soon, other family, and grandchildren, and caregiver, and many friends arrived.  The hamburgers were grilled to perfection, brats and hot dogs, looked yummy. We all were hungry, and all the foods were enjoyed. After cleaning up from the meal, we all came inside and together we wished Al a happy birthday. He opened each of his gifts with great care, and I helped him with some, as his tremors took no rest for his birthday party. He was very excited and happy over them. He received clothing and coca cola items. When the party was over, we all continued to share with each other, good talk, and much laughter. Al took different guests into his room to show them his coca cola collections. It was a great day, just as I knew God would have it be. Al is a special brother, who is loved by us all, and deserved only the best of family and friends who loved him and great weather. I was pleased, and Al had his smile on his face until he went to bed that night.