His Way Of Thinking


Coca-Cola (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I woke up to blue skies and a chill outside. God has truly made a beautiful day. I woke up late, and my brother was already awake, as I noticed his bedroom light was on. I poked my head in and said good morning brother, did you sleep well? He looked up at me and nodded yes.He was deep in turning the pages of his Bible. I have nothing to say negatively about the bible, just noting that ever since Al had the conversation with God, where God told him he would receive a sign when God was going to take him home, Al spends most waking hours in his word.  If you remember from prior postings, Al is obsessed with coca cola. He spends many hours reading his price guide books and holding coca cola items on his lap and others are sitting on his bed waiting for him to pick them up. He has turned away some what from those items and I always see the bible in his hands. I can not even pretend to know what is going on in his mind. Nor can I even say I have any real feeling of understanding the conversation he and God had, but I do know at this point in his life, this is a wonderful thing. I want him to be able to cling to this hope that he has. I believe it carries him through each day. It is his to own and no one can take it away from him. He wanted eggs for breakfast, and I told him I would go get them ready. I have always bought him frozen breakfast items for breakfast, only for the reason that it keeps his independence. He fixes his breakfast on his own, and I believe this helps him to keep a hold on his pride. After his teeth were taken out Tuesday, he has been on a soft diet. Today is Friday, so I just knew he wanted me to quit making his breakfast meal and he would have his french toast sticks, that he loves. Today is the day, he can go back to his routine, but he said no, he wanted eggs. I am not sure if it is the eggs he really wanted, or the fact that this is another small way that I can show him I love and care about him. I think it is the later. I am finding that I may be wrong. He does want me to do some things for him. This is fine with me. I am the type of person, that I also like to feel needed also, so it is equal on both sides here. If you know anything about mental illness, you will understand what I am about to say, and if you don’t, one thing that is common with mental illness is routine. After breakfast, I went into his bedroom to change his bed sheets. This is Thursday, so we change bed sheets unless there is a death. It is what it is and there is no changing it unless you want arguments and tears, and I definitely do not want to be the one to cause this. He does enough of this on his own with his Parkinson’s. I notice that is dementia is ever more present each day, as there are books and coca cola lined up neatly on his bed. This starts at one end of the bed and continues all the way to the opposite end. It is as if he has already placed in his mind, his whole day, which book to start and end with. Which collection piece he would pick up. Al can tell you about an item he has, and he can tell you on what page it is found in which book, and has the complete details memorized in his mind, so I knew there was great planning in this. I reminded him that this was Thursday. Did he want his sheets changed or maybe I could come back later on in the day and I could do it then. He seemed a little startled, as he realized what day it was. I watched as he lovingly picked up each item, and I am talking about maybe fifty items, and placed them on the floor and in  his recliner. I have always known about patience, but I have been taught by God the true meaning of patience, as I stand by knowing my coffee was getting cold, and I had not eaten breakfast myself yet, waiting for him to do what he needed to do. The time now has come and I take the dirty sheets off, and I start putting the new ones on. He tries so hard to help me. He grabs one corner to put on, but isn’t strong enough to do this and he falls into his bed. I tell him this is alright, I appreciate him trying and that I will help him. I see his face wrinkle and a tear start to fall, and I go to him and give him a squeeze. I tell him it is so important to me that he is still willing to help when he would rather be sitting or lying back down. He gives me a tiny smile. I make a deal with him. I tell him if he wants to take the dirty sheets to the laundry area, that would be a big help to me, and then I will finish his bed. He liked that. So the sheets were changed and all worked out. I gave him his privacy back, and left the room. I started his load of laundry and as I was at the washer I peeked in and he was very carefully, with much love, placing his precious coca cola books and pieces back on the bed. I swear they are placed in the exact order that they had been placed earlier. I will never be able to understand the mentality of his mind, but I know what is important to him. He is able to count on me and he has his love of his life, coca cola surrounding him all the day long.

24 thoughts on “His Way Of Thinking

  1. Excellent post as always. It’s wonderful that you are maintaining the boundaries needed to ensure self-care while also establishing the responsibility he can handle for himself as well. As always, much prayers of ease, happiness, and success for you. Ameen.



  2. This is a beautiful post of love, patience, compassion and respect. God in His awsome ways is guiding both of you in handling the events that have come into your lives. While out doing some street photography in March I came across this old sign. I thought your brother may like it.



  3. Terry, you said it when you said routine is important. To him the lining up of these things he loves is routine. It lets him know that he still is in control of some things in his life. Where some things in his life have been taken away, God has blessed him with other things to replace them…like the ability to remember the things about his collectibles. God has also blessed him with a strong, loving and caring sister, who willingly denies herself things for the good of her brother. Through this God is blessing you too, by making you stronger and teaching you about the fruits of the Spirit, like love, patience and so on. Your post was beautiful!


  4. His way of thinking, order among all things. It is wonderful you encourage him to help then he feels he is pulling his share of the load. He knows you are there to help when it is too difficult for him, yet show him ways he can do his part.

    Walk daily with God at your side!



  5. What goes through Al’s mind is so real to him and he is so methodical in it seems. So the day started out anyway without too much incident…hopefully the rest of the day will be the same…Diane


  6. Oh, happy days…I knew you would have peace soon…because routine can bring us that…I saw you replied on Leslie’s post about all of her adventures…and I think a massage or facial would be a good treat for you when your caretender comes in to give you some time…Make an appointment and it shouldn’t take long…and don’t feel guilty! ~mkg


      • Having observed your energy, talent, and commitment, I’m sure you’ll find a way someday when you have less stress. Make sure you back up copies of all you’ve been writing here.


      • i do, and it is always in the back of my mind, as i say, on the back burner, to wonder what it would be like to see my name on a shelf somewhere, but for now it is a dream only. there would be added stress of editing and people reading and correcting my special words, and i want to just enjoy writing for now, before it becomes a headache, unless someone thinks i do good enough, that too much change would not be required. the ideal way is to have someone notice me and my writing, and offer to go up up and away with it!!!


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