They Won’t Go!

Illustration of the Parkinson disease by Sir W...

Illustration of the Parkinson disease by Sir William Richard Gowers from A Manual of Diseases of the Nervous System in 1886 showing the characteristic posture of PD patients (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It scares me when I hear Al speak of the things he would like to do this summer, as it is hard for me to push his wheelchair to outings, that contain a lot of walking. Last night, after a very quiet day, he let me know of a few places he would like to go. I don’t know how to fix this yet. I am going to be calling the scooter store after I write this and see if they can help us in any way. Yesterday, Al was in a quiet mood. Depression was here for him after lunch. It was like shutting off an alarm clock. He was talking and smiley in the morning, and after lunch, he turned from that into depression, and sometime later in the evening he came back to me. When he does this, he lies on his bed, and sleeps off and on. He always wants to read the daily newspaper, but even that didn’t perk him up yesterday. I spent my day stripping off two coats of paint from my family’s child’s rocker. I hate it when a prior company or person paints on raw wood. It slows down the process of removing the paint and causes a lot of extra sanding. I got that finished and let the chair rest in the sun, trying to bleach the wood out a bit for a more even look. In the early evening I put a finish on it, but with so much raw wood, the finish looked good at first, but after soaking into the wood, it looked terrible, so today I am going to go buy a darker stain to put over it and even it all out. When you are working with wood that is not old, companies tend to use cheap woods that are not from the same tree. They realize that they are going to be covering it with a baked on finish that will hide  the cheap mixture of woods, so I have to put a little more creative touch to it to help it look it’s best. Last night, family and I built another fire, and sat around and roasted some marshmallows. I always enjoy looking into the fire’s eyes. Flames bouncing off the wood, providing a romantic, if I was in that position, and a calming effect. Hearing the crackles and pops of the wood is something I truly enjoy. When we were all finished we all got up to part ways for the evening. Al got up and  could not move. I thought it was from sitting on the swing too long, but he kept standing there not moving, even after having adequate time to adjust to the standing position. After many seconds, his feet began to move, but not good. He started to fall forward, and I raced over to him. His body began to have major tremors as his mind tried so hard to get his legs to move. He was having THE FREEZE from his Parkinson’s. His legs didn’t go anywhere again then, and he once again started to fall forward, as if he felt as if he himself moved forward, the legs would follow. I asked my son to come grab him from the other arm so we could keep him balanced until he could move again. It took several moments, but finally they moved. Thank you God! He finally made it and we got him inside. Al was very upset with himself, getting angry at his legs for not listening. He kept saying to his legs, MOVE, MOVE YOU DUMB LEGS! This kind of crap that is from Parkinson’s just makes my blood boil! I also, want to scream at it, but I am forced to plaster a smile on my face, and be encouraging to Al, letting him know it is alright, that we will just take our time, until the legs move. I knew it didn’t help him, as he is not stupid, he knew that his legs weren’t moving, so what was I talking about. So this was our day yesterday. Hoping for a better day today.

25 thoughts on “They Won’t Go!

  1. This is when the old cliche’… “one day at a time”…comes to mind…and then it gets to be “one hour at a time”…until it’s “minutes at a time”…The last days of anyone is so hard…on the person of course…but, the caretender…what a toll it can take on them too…Savor each good moment…and as your blogging friends…we will be here to see you through…~mkg


  2. Terry, this could be an answer to prayer for you. Share this episode with the neurologist, and maybe he will see how serious this is becoming for Al. That will give you the opening for talking to him about hospice. Sometimes God uses the bad to deliver the good for us. I will be praying that things work out for this and for the scooter for Al this summer. You might call the places he has chosen and ask them if they have a program or something special set up for those who are handicapped that will make it easier on you and Al. Sometimes they do, and this will help you decide what to do together.


  3. Just a comment re a scooter..that would be ideal. Now in Canada he would qualify for 75% of it paid by the assistive devices program within the government ..and if one has other coverage it would most likely cover the 25%…but being in the states I don’t know what your healthcare is like. I have a scooter and it is great. I don’t use it all the time as I can walk but for long times or a big store..I use it…Diane


  4. This freezing of the legs (and now the mind) has become the worst thing now. Before when he froze which was at least 10 times a day, I would take his hand and say ‘1,2.3’ and it would eventually work. Lately though, it doesn’t. The other day when he was home it took an hour to get him from outside the front into the house, little step by little step with lots of freezing in between – the absolute pits!


    • do you think this is the last parts of the parkinsons? the freezing? is there anything else i can expect? i feel like he is in the end of stage four, what do you think?


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