Understanding A Sister’s Love For A Brother

With Al receiving his new Candy Apple Red scooter, I have spent my morning redoing my house to make room. I guess it is officially spring, so I can combine two goals in one. I can sure tell  my body is getting older. Pieces of furniture I used to be able to scoot or sometimes actually pick up, I can no longer do. I use every main muscle to scoot, shove, pant and groan to get it moved one inch. I started with Al’s room, by changing his bed sheets, having him stay in there in case he would like to help, but no help was offered. After changing the sheets, I saw piles of news papers on his bed. I questioned him on why he was saving them in here, and also asked him why I had been noticing that he was taking the papers to his room to read. He had always read them in the living room, but I have noticed he has been giving up his routine of watching his favorite TV shows after supper, taking the newspapers to his room and staying in there. I should have known something was up,but because we have not had some of the issues from years ago, I didn’t put two and two together. One of Al’s mental issues is women and naked women. I understand the whole concept of everything, and also don’t mind if he has a magazine or two in his room for his private times, but he doesn’t do this. As I started going through some partially empty bags and papers, I found that he was hoarding again. He had been saving each newspaper that had a picture of a woman on it. Every ad that was promoting women’s clothing. He had a huge stack, and was hiding them in empty bags, boxes, anything he could find. We have an issue first with his room. His room is very crowded, including walls, floor corners, wall to wall, with his coca cola collection. There is no where else on the walls to even place one nail. I have done my very best to accommodate his wishes on hanging on to each piece of collection, but his room is only so big, so now with saving every paper he can get a hold of and any sacks, boxes, bags, the room is now unsafe, for his unsteadiness. I hated to do it, but with him being in the room, I had to explain that we could not keep this amount of papers, boxes, bags, as it was much more risky for him falling over something. I brought a huge trash bag into his room and making sure he was watching me, I cleaned out the bedroom. Storing some glass items in his boxes, throwing away the papers, and other empty containers. I talked some about how God would feel with him looking at women in an untasteful way. He began to cry and I knew I was hurting his feelings, but sometimes talking to him about God’s wishes is the only way to get him to understand . You may think that I do not understand, or I am being mean. but in earlier postings I have explained the tiny snow flake becoming a huge snow ball with this. It causes him problems with himself, the law, and other people. I have to stop it once again before it grows too large. I have also noticed that when we are all sitting around the camp fires at night, his chatter becomes more adult. I understand that he is trying to fit in and be accepted in his own way, but he will more and more use distasteful language about women’s chests, or use the word freaking, when I know he wants to use the more ugly word.He has been talking about beer and alcohol. I don’t know for sure what is going on, but I do notice it and once again I talked to him about hurting others feelings making comments about their chest, especially when they are sitting right there, and that there is no alcohol allowed in this house, period, so I don’t want to go in that direction with his talk either. Yes, you probably would not enjoy living with me. I try to live with God’s rules and not society’s rules. I never want God to pay me a visit, and see anything here that I would want to run and hide it away from his eyes. Al and I finished his room, and then I tackled the living room. Sweeping, cleaning off window sills, rearranging furniture, so that he can ride his scooter in the house. I am pooped now, so I took the break time to write this blog. I am finishing up laundry and I still have to sweep the rest of the living room and place clean sheets on my bed. I fixed Al’s lunch and am taking a small break.

Last night, I was like a concerned mother hen. Al took his scooter and took off for a ride. He was gone for some time. My mind started to wonder, as I realized he does not know his phone number or address, but I relaxed some when I remembered I had placed this information in his wallet.He was gone for about an hour and did come back. Yes! He was home, back with me again. I was relieved. I asked him if he had a good time, and he nodded yes. I asked him if he missed me, and he smiled and said no. I looked at him and I told him I didn’t miss him either, and then we both laughed because we knew we really did miss each other in just knowing that if help was needed, we each were a hand length away.

A digital picture of a candy apple, taken by L...

A digital picture of a candy apple, taken by Loui Andary, DaemonDivinus 2005-09-24. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

47 thoughts on “Understanding A Sister’s Love For A Brother

  1. Can people still make those little lisense plates with last name on it? The small ones? That would look cute on the scooter. You could put a dog tag with name and address on the scooter somewhere.


  2. oh my goodness, it must be so difficult to deal with these adult issues especially with your own brother. It makes me think about the future when my cute little boys will grow up and eventually be involved in this sort of stuff 😦 My wife and I talk about it and she does not feel comfortable dealing with it. Our current plan is to just pretent we don’t know about it.


    • i remember going through these stages with my own kids as they were growing up. i did one thing that helped save my kids future. i always had my kids friends at my home. we had a name tag on the front of our house called Teen Hut. Any of their friends were welcome, and if they needed comfort, they came over also.
      there were plenty of late night talks with them and me about growing up, boys, all that good stuff. it was so laid back that the ease of asking those timid questions kids want to know was made easy. we would all fall asleep on the floor and couches. I was involved all the time and a part of most of the activities and chats. they always said i was a Cool Mom!!! will always remember this Chris


  3. You could use the Bible to explain to Al that we are to follow the example that Jesus set for us, including the way men treat women and women should treat men. The Bible tells a husband to love his wife like Christ loved the church, and that goes for how men should treat women as a whole, not with lust or disrespect, but with love, respect and compassion. Let him know that is how Jesus treated everyone, and that is the way Jesus wants him to treat others too. Then ask him if he wants to live for Jesus, or for the Devil. I think putting this into his thoughts for review, might be the thing he needs to understand. I’m so happy that he got his scooter! I’ve been praying that it would come through quickly for you both.


  4. I agree…being a sister is hard in “Man” issues…but, who better to tell him right and wrong…I think of it as teaching a young child…And also remember it’s human nature to be intertested in the oppiosite sex…And from working with mentally challeneged kids for 30 + years…It was delt with every day…Maybe exprtess that you know he has feelings in that area…don’t shame him…but, explain the consequences as you say…and where and when it’s appropriate…
    I’m sure you have heard it all…I sometimes think you probably get tired of all of the advice sent your way…Just decipher through …You’ll know what works best for you and Al…Glad he took a ride…practice sure doesn’t hurt…and that means he likes it!


  5. I think you handles the situation very well. I would never think of you as mean and I understand where you are coming from. From the sound of things so does Al and that is the most important.
    If I lived closer, I would come over and help you move the furniture and clean up, but unfortunately I am about 1200 miles away, but I will pray for your strength.
    This is my weekend to sing at our two assisted living homes. Today at Reunion Inn I noticed how much several of the residents aged over the past month, man it is hard knowing they are aging so fast and they may not be there next month. I can only pray they are peaceful.
    I keep both you and Al in my daily prayers and hope for your comfort and daily understanding. Have a peaceful weekend my special friend!




    • thank you Ed. You enjoy every moment of your sing. look at the good things you are bringing to someone who can not get out or let alone have any company. this is why i fight so hard to keep brother with me


  6. What a wonderful post again – and wonderful to read how excited Al are over his mobile …. Think it’s brilliant idea that with a sign with address, name and phone number .. as a registration plate. You’re a fantastic … sister and he loves you to bits. Regarding his view on women .. let him keep it with his magazines – it’s not going to harm anyone in the end.


  7. Ya know, I don’t think it’s a question of not liking to live with you. These are simple rules you will have to insist on because he doesn’t understand. Hoarding is a fire hazard. You mentioned law enforcement- crude talk could bring on legal trouble. It’s simply a matter of you being responsible.

    It must be so hard to have to be so responsible all the time.


  8. Angel Terry, you just so bless me. What stood out to me is that you know . .you know Al and you know what may not seem to be a big deal to others, can be for Al and you. That is Holy Spirit and discernment at work for you dear lady! 🙂 love and prayers!


  9. You handled that really excellently. It is my opinion that especially with issues like these, we never shame them, or make them feel that their struggle is somehow worse than what we would consider “regular” sins, and yet, the very fact that it isn’t a secret sin now is really powerful. Al has a lot of things he is struggling with, and I kind of really understand his point of view on this. But he seems to really love the Bible, and the Lord, and he will eventually be thankful that you gently poked him towards the right path again. Beautiful, Terry! Congrats on the scooter!!


  10. You certainly worked very hard..and I admire the way you handled the situation cleaning out Al’s room…Now Al has some new-found freedom that he probably likes..but it will tend to unnerve you when he goes off on his own..understandably… Diane


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