Ever feel like you got up on the wrong side of the bed? I am pretty sure this is me today. I got up after only having six hours of sleep. At my age now, to feel excellent all day and be able to deal with people and Al, I need eight hours of sleep. Nothing major happened today, but nothing fantastic happened either. I did the laundry, hanging the sheets out on the line. I love the smell of sheets hung outside. I did a couple of more loads also. Al has not been done anything out of the ordinary. He has talked to the newscasters on the noon news and still is tonight on the nightly news. A blogger friend had just told me today, that she doesn’t watch the news. I don’t know why I do either. Habit, I expect. It is something we do daily. Al tells them off giving them his opinions. I think he would be a great guest on a television show that is based on arguments. I have to admit news is depressing. In your own home without television, you make the best of your day, minding your own business. Once you turn the news on, you get sad hearing how priests are engaging in sexual ways with children. I heard one guy tonight that was found guilty of killing a young boy. He was found guilty of all fourteen counts. They said he could possibly be in prison for over three hundred years. To me this is silly, but I don’t understand the judicial system. Most of us won’t live to be one hundred, but you get a three hundred year sentence. Maybe this guarantees that this person will never be able to have early release. Now, I hear that a teacher had sex with a high school student. The teacher says it was consented sex. To me, there is no excuse. We look up to teachers, priests, ministers, policeman. Aside, from the news, I have noticed that my blogs don’t do as well as they used to. Have I not prayed hard enough to say the right words? I find myself worrying some what. People come into my blog world and move on their way, replacing old with new bloggers. Somehow I have to get over and done with this stupid insecurity. It is making me crazy. I don’t want to stress out about anything more in life. I don’t want to stress over Al, or my stories, or monies, or bills. I just want to have days of back in the seventies, where the word Peace was the word for the day. I can’t even blame anyone for this. It is brought on by my own doings. I think I need a life like Bird, or Terri. They seem to have it together. They are strong women, who know who they are. Maybe I am just tired and still need that break, the respite break. The nursing home that I contacted for the break is charging between 220-250 dollars per day. I would love to say great! When can I bring him in? The fact is though, I don’t work. I care for him, and he doesn’t work because he is ill. We do alright. We have our bills paid and there is food to eat, but we can not afford this kind of prices. I just need to face the facts. I have tried everything everyone has suggested. Nothing works. No one so far in this city, is able to direct me to someone who can help me. God has me doing this work for Al and I should not question it, but I am tired. I feel like lying down and sleeping for days, but I can not. I rely on my blogs and my comments to keep me going. Bad idea? Don’t become too dependent on other people? I know, I shouldn’t rely on others to lift me up, but I do. Am I whining? Maybe, I don’t really know. All I do know is that I need something, but what…….