He Is Too Young


Respite Care Day Camp

Respite Care Day Camp (Photo credit: The Neenan Company)

Do you have any idea what it is like hearing the words, you aren’t old enough? Alright, I admit, we are seniors, my brother and I, but yet we aren’t. We can get discounts at restaurants, but if you try to get help from an organization, then you are definitely NOT a senior. I decided this morning, that I was going to spend my free time finding me someone in this city to help give me the break I so need. I am thinking at the least, two hours a week. This isn’t asking too much, do you think? When you count the hours in a week, this isn’t even worth mentioning. I started off by calling the Parkinson’s Foundation, first thing. They had no help, they don’t offer any type of respite care. They actually do, but Al doesn’t fit the criteria, because he isn’t old enough. For heaven’s sake! What other rules are out there that we have to abide by? They told me when he was sixty-five, they could set him up with some help. The advised me to call Real Services, and ask for the aging department. I hung up and dialed the number I was given. When I got to the right department, I was informed, this had nothing to do with his age. Wonderful! They would love to be of help to us. Great! The program they once had for volunteers was over. Darn it! They told me that they have reached out and no one will volunteer anymore. Everyone wants paid, and there is no funding any longer due to the changes from the President. Programs are being cut left and right for the people who actually need them. Now I don’t know if I fall in to the category of actually needing them. Need? That is a powerful word. Will I die if I don’t get some relief? Most likely not. Could this affect my health by being run down constantly? Probably. If anything should happen to me, then my medicare would gladly help me out in a hospitalization situation, but who will care for Al while I would be in the hospital? Well, I need not go further in to this discussion, because I know in my heart that God will keep me safe for Al’s sake. I am just frustrated right now, so I am venting. This is what WordPress is for, right? To vent, to get emotional support? Real services told me to contact a church. There is a church that we have attended, and Al has attended many more years than I have, so I decided to give them a call. I spoke to Kathy, who is so very nice, and knows Al well enough. She took down some information, and is going to try her best to help, but said there was no promises. I can appreciate this. I am just happy that she is making an effort to help us. I wish mom and dad were still here.

49 thoughts on “He Is Too Young

  1. My sister and I just had this same talk…She is taking care of her husband…He’s had heart surgeries…leg amputated…lung cancer…Esophagus problem…eye problems…Need I go on…and now has terminal idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis…She is at her wits in…for help…like yourself…We all try to do our part…but, the main decisions are hers…as yours are…We all feel helpless!…so I do sympathize…but, have no answers…Usually circumstances come along and the decisions will be made without you having to…not good…but, true…God Bless! ~mkg

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  2. It is so difficult to get the support that is often advertised, but the bureaucracy of it isn’t. It’s ridiculous how many conditions there are to support the conditions you want care for, and it’s great that you even picked up the phone to call. One of my friends with a child suffering from cerebal palsy went through the same hoops, and I was surprised to hear how many of these organizations aren’t really there to help everyone so much as specific someones. Sigh. It’s totally frustrating, and may you keep your wits, humor, and patience with you always. 😀 Cause goodness knows how trying this is. 😀

    Pink.

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  3. I sometimes wonder what people think, that illness only happens to people over 65? There has to be help out there for you. Don’t give up, Terry, have faith God will work it out.

    Ed

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    • i actually got upset tonight thinking over today’s conversation. people upon people give to these foundation, so there is monies to help the needy, and they set age limits? should people who donate, set age limits also, giving their funding to certain age groups. i don’t think this is how it is supposed to work. the P. foundation said that the government doesn’t have programs for him because of his age. i wasn’t asking the government, i was asking the foundation for help.

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  4. I don’t understand you care-system or what ever it’s called – should have to do with age – it’s all about support and needs. Here is cuts too over in Sweden, at least the system works – even if I have read and heard about some scary stories about people don’t getting the help they need because some “asshole” in administration don’t think the person needs help, but at least nobody is too young or too old here – to get help. So, so .. SO, sorry for your situation. And I think wordpress is a fantastic tool for you to let the steam and frustration flow. It’s important to ventilate – and wordpress is the right tool, if nobody reads or answer – who cares, so long you get it out of your system. Girl, just do what you do.

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    • thank you Viveka. I did feel better after ventilating. I hope someone from the church helps me out. other wise we sit and wait it out. i could not believe they put an age limit on illnesses. this is sad as many people young and old get cancers and other illnesses

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  5. I will be praying that someone ( or a few someones) from the church will be willing to help once in awhile. People are so busy these days, but I think in a lot of cases they are busy with some things that are totally unnecessary. And for those who are too selfish to share their spare hours with someone in need, they are depriving themselves of the wonderful blessing which accompanies giving freely. God bless and answer your prayers for this situation quickly.

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    • thank you for the prayer Success. that is the only thing we can count on anymore. maybe this is why we struggle, to make sure that we turn to God, but i think it is rediculous, as i stated above, age has no limits to illness

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  6. Terry, looks like you got a clear view of the political side of all that is going on, especially with cuts to important things while funding other things more because they are politically helpful to the election or an agenda. It shouldn’t be this way at all! Help should not be age defined either, because their are parents with autistic children who need the same break you need, and that those over 65 need. It irritates me that the medical community isn’t seeing this…guess the human lobby isn’t as busy as AARP is. Funny thing is unless the lobbyist see an issue giving them great amounts of their groups money coming at them they won’t fight for what their group needs or work for them at all. Everything is based on greed and power now, so those who really are in need of help get none. I will be praying that this church finds a way to help you out. You know if they could even give Al a special job for a couple hours a weak, greeting people at the office of the church, stuffing envelopes or something like this, it would give you a couple hours and make him feel like he is doing something for the Lord at the same time. It might even make him feel useful and hopeful. Sometimes a little feeling useful, breeds independence, and this will make him see past himself and onto being helpful while he can. I hope the church comes through for you and Al.

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    • I agree. it is all political. i am counting on God to come through this for Al and me. I will not give up. there has to be someone out there somewhere! thank you Apple for your support. it is much appreciated. even on the P. foundation site, it states that there is help for the caregiver, and there is, if i am willing to drag Al and hour away to sit through a support group meeting. i don’t see after dark very well, so do not want to go that far, and it is hard for Al to travel that distance. in my own town, there is nothing but yet this town is 45,000 people

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      • In a town like that, you might find there are others who are looking for a support group too. Maybe it is worth talking to Al’s doctor about and see if he has suggestions or knows of others who are going through the same thing, where you would trade some time with…2 hours for you on one day, and 2 hours for them on another day. It’s an idea!

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      • i have let the doctor know many times that i need help. he makes it clear that he is a medical doctor, and for me to call home health care, but home health care doesn’t do respite care. sad when doctors can’t go outside the box

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  7. Praying for you the help you do need, angel Terry. I’m sorry it is sooo hard to find anyone able to do this kind of care. I am listening and learning from you, for while I have been able to do the care needed, there may come I time when I can’t. Trusting God with you!

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  8. Terry I realized when I was reading your post that, you are “one of those” people. You probably don’t even recognize it, but your tolerance has be stretched to the limit for so long you question your need! Girl, you definitely have need. I fear that you will give til you drop! Don’t question whether you truly need help, or care. You have demonstrated so much toughness, and responsibility, that if you have even an inkling of a feeling that you need help then you most certainly do. I’m saying my prayers that you get an angel. And if I come across helpful info, I will let you know! Hugs!

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    • thank you so much All. i need all the prayers i can get. i hated saying out loud that i need help, but i do, i have admitted it. i am tired, exhausted, and i imagine sitting on a lake pier, just looking up at the skies and hearing nothing but peace. God promises that he will answer, i am hoping it is very soon.

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  9. It is a shame your doctor won’t do something if only professionally refer you somewhere. Here we need the doctor to recommend us to an agency if it is government supported. But it seems you don’t have any government support for this type of thing. What a shame. We do have a great system in Ontario. We don’t have to pay for our general healthcare.

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  10. I appreciate the faith you are exhibiting while you are going through these difficult times. You are being a wonderful testimony to many of how to continue, in faith, despite so many seeming setbacks. Im continuing to pray for you and Al. Lord bless you and you search for some necessary help..

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    • that is what they told me, whether it is an excuse or not i don’t know. there are many dollars given to these organizations, and i would like to know where that money goes. i didn’t want government program helped. i was looking for a volunteer system

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