Dear Lord, I Have Been Busy Today


Dear Lord, I have been busy today, but in the back of my mind, I have thought of you many times.

Al woke up this morning, in pain once again Lord. This is breaking my heart, and I am asking you to bless him once again. His tears start as soon as he tries to get out of bed, and he struggles so hard. He is proud Lord. He refuses my help, as he wants to prove to himself that he can do it. Give him strength Lord, dry his eyes. Let him know that you are with him.

The day went without incident, and I thought we were going to go garage saleing with family, but we did not end up going, maybe tomorrow. Al rested on his bed most of the morning, so that he would have the energy to be able to go. Lord, I pray that you give Al strength.

My son and his family did come down in the early afternoon. They looked at the pool that had been leaking water, and found the hole and patched it. I wondered if the raccoons had been trying to get into the pool to get a drink, since the hole looked more like a tear than a regular hole. My son worked on his toys, his car, and lawn mower, and his girlfriend and I decided to build a fire in the pit. Lord, I pray that you help me to stay smiling while family is here, and not let me yawn, as this has become the time of day, I have gotten used to taking a nap with Al.

From the fire being built, we decided to cook supper over the coals, so I wanted to go to the grocery store while the girlfriend stayed here with her son. I came into the house to check on Al and to let him know I was leaving for about a half of an hour. I stopped dead in my tracks, as I looked in. He was lying flat on his back. His arms stretched out to both sides. Al never changes his sleep pattern. He always sleeps on his stomach. I waited a few seconds and then moved closer to him wanting to make sure he was breathing. Just as I got a foot away from his still body, he let out a huge snore. I just about jumped out of my shoes! I think I let down a tiny trickle also! LOL. Lord, I thank you for letting Al catch up on some much-needed sleep. He gets so little sleep anymore Lord. You know his tremors act out so much at nights that he finds it hard to settle into sleep. Lord, I ask you to bring his tremors to rest, at least through the nights.

At the store,  I picked up some nice ground beef, some corn on the cob, frozen peas, zucchini, and yellow squash, a fresh pineapple, and a discounted box of chocolate cupcakes with white icing, and some diet sierra mist. The bill for these few items almost made me gasp, but I think I am getting used to going into shock at the grocery store, so I think the cashier didn’t even hear me take my medium inhaled  breath. Lord, I thank you for helping make it possible to put this wonderful food on our table, and for letting no one here go hungry. I pray that you help others as much as you help  Al and me, and that there are no empty tummies tonight.

I took the corn and pulled back the husks, and took all of the hair off. I sliced the zucchini and yellow squash and washed them. I cut up the fresh pineapple into chunks. The corn and the vegetables I soaked in cold water for thirty minutes. After the soaking was done, I rubbed butter, salt, and pepper on the corn, and wrapped the husks around their bodies, and twisted the tops tight. The vegetables, after soaking I dried off and poured a little olive oil, along with salt and pepper and some greek seasoning. The hamburgers were formed mixing A-1 sauce, salt, pepper, and some garlic seasonings. The hamburgers went first on the coals, and then the veggies, and lastly, the pineapple. Thank you Lord, for allowing me to see and to read. Without the help of Paula Dean’s summer menu, I would never have been able to grill our entire supper.

Everyone was hungry, except Al. He is eating less and less. From what he tells me, he is tired of fighting the tremors. His facial tremors are probably the worst for him, as it affects his eating and speaking. He spills food or can’t get it into his mouth. He can not get any closer to his plate than what he already does. He ate one hamburger in a bun, and some fresh peas. He ate no desserts nor nothing else. Everyone else ate hearty. We all thought the grilled veggies and pineapple could not have tasted any better. Lord, I thank you for allowing some food to get into Al’s body. I ask you for your help on how I can get him to eat more. Please give me some ideas.

After supper and clean up was done, there was very little chit-chat as all were full, and Al had went back into the house and to his room. We all decided to call it a night.

So you see Lord, as I said, I was pretty busy today, but you never left my mind. You know my troubles and concerns Lord. Give me strength to carry out your wishes, and guide me each day. Help me to lean and trust on you Lord. You know the reasons that you are waiting to heal Al. I do not know, and I do not want to keep trying to figure it out. I have done this, and it does no good. I thank you once again Lord, for giving me this warm, sunny day. I thank you for letting me have one more day to spend with family and Al, and I thank you for the peace and quiet that I have at this very moment. Amen

43 thoughts on “Dear Lord, I Have Been Busy Today

    • they have tried him on all three of the parkinson’s medications, but for some reason his body does the opposite. his tremors go wild and he drools like a baby, so they have taken him off all parkinons’ meds,and now Al is on his own to just put up with them

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      • we have seen three total and the problem is his delicate balance of medications for his other problems, his heart, and his mentality. he takes so many medications now, it is sad, but i do wish one of those would have worked for him. i sit and watch his life disappear before my eyes. he is losing hope and wanting to give up. i had fixed the eating problem for awhile by buying him weighted silver ware, but after a couple of months, his hands could not hold the extra weight and he constantly dropped his fork or spoon, so we went back to regular forks and tablespoons instead of teaspoons. he is just giving up, and it is killing me

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  1. It is indeed difficult to watch someone we love deteriorate…at least appearing to do so. And you’re right, asking yourself all the why’s only ends up in frustration for not being able to understand God’s ways and reasoning….I’m glad you have some ‘quiet’ time…Hoping the weekend is better ….Diane

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    • i always look for those little things in our lives that God is blessing us with. i want the big blessing though, Al’s pain gone. i keep praying and waiting for his answer. i do enjoy the quiet time, this is for sure. do you think it is because i am getting older, that i love the quietness?lol

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      • Well I do think when we get older that we do cherish our quiet time more…we’ve been through..(and you are still going through the ‘busyness’) of life …I can understand you wanting Al’s pain to be gone but as you know our ways are not God’s. I didn’t understand His ways during my mother’s illness and deterioration during her last years and it was very difficult…so I know where you are at…May the Lord give you His peace….Diane

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      • it makes me feel not so alone when you tell me you have gone through the same type of situation. i wish you would not have to, but i like knowing you understand me

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  2. God bless you my friend. You were doing the Lord’s work today. We are called to serve, and serve Him well you did. I would have loved to have been at your table tonight. Sounds so yummy.

    Al is in my prayers as always. You too. I agree with Diane. It’s hard to watch someone we love lose the best parts of who they are. (((hugs))) to you both. Sandy

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  3. Your gratitude towards God is refreshing. You have a hard road that you walk upon, yet it is not complaints you speak, only gratitude. You are an inspiration to us all. May your wishes be granted and may joy follow you daily. Blessings. 🙂

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    • this comment meant the world to me. i am so blessed, but i am weak also, i want my brother to be pain free. he has suffered enough in my eyes. thank you so much Bigs………

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  4. sistah, always know that God loves you, and he gave you Al, because HE knows you can do the job, he had given you in flying colors. = ) love terry, be well, kiss Al for me, and goodnight = )

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  5. Al just sounds like he was worn out. I understand though. There are day when I just feel like staying alone in my room. I understand his getting frustrated at what his body can’t do or keeps doing. Sometimes it is best to let him go to his room, and just check on him now and then. But it sounds like you had a good time with family.

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    • we did have a nice busy day. family is so important to me. i have gotten to the place that i do let Al just go to his comfort zone, his bedroom. there he reads his bible so much, and he cries alone, and when he is ready, he will come share a small tidbit with me about what he read. i have to let him do his own thing, he is in pain each day and i know when i don’t feel good i want to be left alone. hugs for you For, for being such a good friend with so much understanding from within your heart

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  6. Terry, I’m so glad you had a good time with your family, and some quiet time for yourself, too. Don’t worry about feeling weak sometimes – we all feel that at times. But the Lord told the Apostle Paul that it’s those times when we are weak that He can take over in His strength and see us through. He is faithful and He has both you and Al in His hands – safe from harm. He will see you both through this trial. God bless you both. I pray for you both almost daily.

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    • thank you Success. to know that you care enough to pray for us almost daily, is the greatest gift you can give us. i thank God for your friendship. you mean the world to me

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  7. Angel Terry, you were busy, but always thinking of Him and others. And God is so pleased with you and your life! love and prayers, for you and for dear Al.

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  8. Father, thank you for all the blessings You have given this family today and thank you for Your ever present strength. Father I ask You to place Your hands of comfort on this special family and give them wonderful peace. Allow the tremors that Al is having to go into remission and give him some relief, then give him the strength to enjoy the love of his family.
    Father I ask for strength and comfort for my special friend, Teresa, that she can continue to enjoy the blessing You send her each day. Bring sunshine and pretty flowers into her life once again and a peace she has never seen before. I ask all these things in Jesus name. Amen

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  9. Busy bee … you, Terry and Al doesn’t make it more calm. I’m feel so hopeless when I read about your situation and where you’re in life – still you’re so full of creativity and so strong. Admire you so – and that your strong believes and your God help you through every hurdle.
    You’re remarkable, Terry – so happy for I have met you here. Pity it’s such long distance between us.

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  10. Pingback: FEELING THE LOVE « Francine In Retirement

  11. Love having meals with the family…but, so sorry to hear about Al’s tremors being so bad…I’m learning a lot about Parkinsons that I didn’t know through reading your blog…It sounds as if you are doing
    all that’s possible…I can feel your frustration sometimes…We feel so helpless…and hurt for those hurting…Wishing you a good Sunday…~mkg

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  12. Terry, I was thinking about how you could get more nutrition into Al and that perhaps you could give him a smoothie once in awhile. It would maybe be easier for him to drink from a glass or a mug than try to wrestle with a fork and more solid food.

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    • yes, i agree. i have been thinking on this for the weekend, and i think the smoothie or the Ensure drinks would work best for him. what is happening, is he is hungry but is not eating very much as it is getting too difficult to eat, and so he is leaving the table, so i must do something to replenish his body. thank u for this suggestion. we are going to the store tomorrow

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  13. heart wrenching, puts all my problems and whining into perspective and – what a fantastic photo! Definitely would like to know who took it,to give credit where credit is due.

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    • i can not remember where i got this photo. i have had it for a long time. i do take a lot of photos though. you can see them at my facebook page, under terry shepherd, or tellmenolies2004@yahoo.com
      believe me, as you continue to read my blogs about my journey, you will see me whine. it is tiring and stressful, and i try to grasp any good moments to hang on to. thank you so much Jane for stopping by and reading my story and leaving me this wonderful comment!

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