Al’s Words In My Writing To His Family


English: Two angels

English: Two angels (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tonight after supper, I sat down with Al and told him that I would rather write a letter to his two aunts, telling them what he wants to say. I told him that since my visit with Julie did not go as planned, that this may be the best way to go.

He started to cry. A lot of feelings came to the surface as the first thing that was stated from him, was they do not care about him.

Here is the short note, that I will now place in envelopes and mail tomorrow at his request.

 

 

I am writing this on behalf of Alvin Jr.  I have asked him to tell me what he wished for me to say in this letter. This is what he requested. He wanted me to reach out to you. He wanted me to speak on his behalf as he believes he may be nearing death.  Alvin is in the comfort care part of Parkinson’s.  Alvin is afraid you will be surprised when you find out that he has passed on, and this is the reason for this short note. He says,

Tell them that I am sick. Tell them that I have Parkinson’s and I don’t think I have much time left. God has told me my life is almost over.

Tell them that I love them.

Ask them if they still love me

 

This is what he wanted me to say, and so I have honored his wishes.

Alvin has been making last-minute preparations for his death. He had me take him to the cemetery so that he could speak to mom and dad.

He has had several conversations with God and he believes that God told him that his time is near.

Contrary to what people are saying, thinking, choosing truths or non truths is none of my concern.

Each birthday and holiday that came and went Alvin always cried because he feels no one loves him from the family.

I am not God, but thankfully God has taken me through this journey of caring for Al these past four years. I would not have traded this for anything that is available in this world.

Well, I have stated what he wanted me to state.

Thank you,

Terry Shepherd

 

 

As soon as I mail them, I will feel that I have honored Al’s wishes. I don’t know what else I can do for him, but if there is anything else he requests, I will try my best to honor it.

It will be an honor, joy, and privilege, to go to heaven and see Al there walking, running, and smiling, pain-free. We will both never remember these days of struggles, tremors, crying, tears and pain. Even if I go first, I know that I will recognize him immediately upon his arrival, and we shall embrace each other with loving hugs.

84 thoughts on “Al’s Words In My Writing To His Family

  1. Wonderfully written and worded! Now the ball is in their court. I just hope, for Al’s sake, they soften their hearts and come visit with him and you sooner rather than later.

    God bless both of you!

    Ed

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    • i hope so too Ed. One of Al’s mental challenges is jumping ahead, having two sided conversations, so now tonight he is playing it out with the letter. sad thing, and i am trying to help him understand that god will deal with them and we can have a little bit of hope, but not too much so we are not disappointed

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  2. Terry, as I read, something occurred to me with regards to family/and/or friends and love for one another that isn’t reciprocated. I am the kind of person that is always trying to figure out why things are the way they are. Obviously, I don’t always succeed. One of the great mysteries of life is the reason some are driven to unexplicable intolerance of others. The conclusion I come to is that when God puts us on the receiving end, I think that it is not about us. We are his tools, and it is more about the other person being tested to find tolerance and love. Sadly, they fail. For gentle souls like Al, it is difficult to comprehend this, but God’s love for him, and his for God will not fail him. His reward is waiting for him. As a friend of mine said to me just today, this is Satans world. It is not for our reward. That comes in Heaven.
    Hugs to you.

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  3. Wow. That speaks his thoughts with such feeling and simplicity. This is a fantastic letter Terry. I hope for Al’s sake they rise above the differences, and the right thing for him. ❤

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  4. I’m glad you got this done, because as someone else said it is on them now to deal with it. You’ve done what Al asked and notified those he wanted notified. Now take time to breathe and let the stress of it go.

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    • i had to think of this for a moment. good question. i think it is habit for me. i am always trying to defend my self with these people. i have always had to try to show people i am a good girl. dad used to always tell family when us kids made errors or stupid things. family always remembers these things

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      • you don’t have to 🙂 you don’t owe them that, i am just learning the same thing in regards to my family. i will gently say, it is Al’s letter. does that help? i hope you’re not offended.

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      • yes i see it now, but at the time i was writing it, i could picture all of the things they were saying. my sister told me last nite that Al wasn’t as bad as i say, and i wasn’t there for Al that i was there for myself. i guess the defense kicked in once again, to protect me

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  5. oh my God Terry, I just want to start off with, I am so sorry. I know I’ve been your biggest “nay-sayer” with you and Al. My stomach feels so sick right now for trying to convince you to leave him :(. I am fully convinced you are doing the right thing and that you MUST not give up. I just became a fan of your blog all over again, does that make any sense? 🙂

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    • yes, it makes total sense. i always appreciate your comments, and i love your laughter also. i look forward to your snappy comments, but in the case of Al, i have to keep him with me as long as possible, to keep him safe from the world of nasty people and so that he knows someone loves him. don’t feel bad, it is not always easy for me to explain through words alone. u r a wonderful friend to me, don’t forget this

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  6. You have done everything that you could possibly do and I pray Al doesn’t dwell on it and necessarily expect any answer from his aunts. If they have a heart at all they will somehow respond even to say if nothing else, that they do love him…..Take care…Diane

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    • thank you Diane. unfortunately he is dwelling on it. we went for a walk tonight with his scooter, but he was slower than ever. i don’t think he was concentrating on the walk nor enjoying it. hoping tomorrow is better for him. so glad u r my friend

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      • I hate to think about it but if the aunts do not respond at all within a certain amount of time….and he keeps dwelling on it you’re maybe going to have to come up with a reason that he will accept as to why they haven’t such as ‘it’s not you Al …it’s me they’re upset with…or the like…but God may touch them and motivate them to send some kind of response to him…I’ll pray that way….Diane

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      • this is a good idea because i am already having to think what to say. i just don’t want to hurt him. i never want him to think no one cares. it must be a terrible thing to think you are dying and no one cares………..i will keep your advice in mind. thank you

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  7. I think if you don’t get a response back… just write another…. Just keep them going… Just tell Al to just say what he feels and you will write… I think 1 a month if they don’t answer or do??? Tell Al if they don’t write back at least he is a good guy trying to communicate! What ya think?

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  8. I think you have done a wonderful thing. Al has been able to show he doesn’t hold grudges against them by telling them he loves them. This will benefit Al even if you don’t see the results. I don’t see how they could not respond even if it’s just a few words on a “Thinking of you” card. I too will pray that they will quickly respond in a positive way – not self-defence or trying to vindicate themselves but to just simply respond to Al’s love.

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  9. Terry, wonderful written – you have done what you can now – and if they don’t want to know after that – it’s their lost … Al has said what he wanted to say and that will help him too.

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  10. All I can do or say to you Terry is that I am continually praying for you and Al. I have never been in your situation but I know the power of God. My prayer is that you consider Him in all you do. He will guide you in every way. Your answers are in His Word I hope you continue to seek Him out.

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

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  11. Terry, do you have any good praise and worship music you could play to help disburse the negative atmosphere? It might even get through to Al if he can hear it too. Just a suggestion.

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    • we have tried that and church, it is a disaster. he cries harder, blames himself more, goes almost hysterical, cries so hard that he can’t concentrate on his walking and fell into a pew. we gave up church. i watch it at home and sometimes he watches along with me

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  12. Terry,

    I believe you were wise in writing a letter, as apposed to calling them. You did a great job in wording the letter. The Lord was glorified, you were kind, you did relate to them what Al desired and you left the door open for them to respond. Well done!

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  13. Terry,
    This broke my heart. Tell Al I love him very much, and I do not have to meet him to love him. I also have an uncle suffering from Parkinson’s Disease, and I know the suffering that goes with it, and for the care givers as well. How blessed Al is to have you. You and Al, as well as the Aunts are in my prayers. God Bless, SR

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    • thank you so much SR. i don’t wish this illness on anyone, but i find comfort in knowing you understand all that goes along with this. Thank you for the prayers. I believe in prayer so much

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      • Wow!! Thank you so much. Where do I pick it up at? Will probably be next week, as hubby will hopefully be home tomorrow and I spend time with him. Thanks again for your kindness. God Bless, SR

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      • i wrote a blog about it, called illuminating blog award. i just posted it. this is where u pick it up at!!! just follow the instructions. if u need any help just ask

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