What Did She Really Want?

English: Girl walking in a beach. Porto Covo, ...

Beth stood at the water’s edge, letting the water slip in between her toes. Sun shining on her back where her dress was backless. Winds gently blowing the edges of her dress, rising it slowly to show slender, tanned legs. Any man would turn his head twice if he was looking her way. Her hair formed a silhouette around her shoulders. She was definitely an angel to cast eyes upon.

Beth had come to the ocean for a break from her life. She had just received the house, car and all bills and maintenance that goes along with owning material things. She had also bartered and lost her children.  Her attorney had cheated her out of her children, leaving her with shells for a prize, and  leaving her only with her own bank account she had.

Beth had spent this past week, calling utility companies and having vacation placed on them for the summer months. She had cleaned the kids rooms, and packed up what she could of their clothing and personal belongings. Her ex-husband had ordered a small u-haul to come over the day before she was to leave for her vacation, and had all the children’s bedroom furniture, bikes, and other toys loaded up. She had spent her last evening with her kids, telling them how much mommy loved them, and she had dug pictures out of her and them and had given these to her babies. She hugged and kissed on them, until her daughter said mommy, I love you and we will miss you. Hurry back to us. With a tear sliding down her cheek, she quickly turned away so they would not see her emotions, and went and rechecked their over night back packs. In less than an hour it was over. The house became silent, no more hugs or kisses. The children were on their way to their new homes with dad.

Beth had made a bad decision in her life and had been caught. While her husband traveled for business, and their children were at school, she was having an affair. It was an accident she said to her husband. He was gone too much, and the other man was there to fill the empty hours. She had met him in her office. A smart sassy looking guy, with a flair. A look of confidence and yet a wildness was in him, when you looked deep in his eyes.

He asked her one afternoon, when they had both finished their jobs early for a holiday, if she would allow him to buy her a drink. She knew she should have said no, but she nodded her head in affirmation. They ended up in each others arms that same day, and the passion they brought out in each other, caused them to meet in secrecy every chance they met.

One day, the game was over, as an anonymous  caller phoned her husband and said that as a man to man consideration, he wanted to let him know that his wife was cheating. Her husband hired a P.I. and in no time at all, he called him and they met so photos could be exchanged, verifying the affair.

Beth had no idea, when one day she answered the door bell, that is was a special delivery for her, papers for filing for divorce and custody of their two children.

Now, as Beth stood on the water’s edge, she walked gracefully along the edges of the beach. Catching the eye of a stranger, he walked up and introduced himself, and ask if he could walk with her, and she nodded her head in affirmation.

A Clown With Two Faces

Clown at Parkinson's Disease of San Diego 5k W...

Clown at Parkinson’s Disease of San Diego 5k Walk and Fun Run (Photo credit: gebl)

For my regular followers, you already know that my brother, Al, has Parkinson’s and is getting worse. I have also posted the last couple of days that he has not been acting his usual self. His confusion is worse, which could or could not be dementia. He is much more sad and doesn’t seem to enjoy much of life anymore.

For this blog part, I am not going to place any verbs, or adjectives, to give you a brighter or more imaginative picture. I am just going to be to the point and only put out facts that I know for sure, which is what I have noticed or heard.

I had every intention of blogging on here about the day, some time back when the temperatures were at least 100 degrees. I used to be very bold, and I was a lover of fishing. With the heat being so bad, I decided to go to the lake and rent me a row-boat and get out on the waters for some fishing and cooling off.

I didn’t have a boat motor, the oars and my arms were the only motor I had for use. I went about on the lake about 1pm and rowed myself about a third way out on the lake. The heat was just too bad, and the fish went down into the waters to stay cool. I came back in about two hours later still hot, and no fish.

It was July 4th, and my too independent mind neglected to tell anyone that I was going to go rent a boat, and so I got chewed out by my husband and my parents for doing this activity without letting anyone know.

The reason that I got chewed out so badly, was because at 7pm, that same day, four hours later, I delivered my firecracker baby boy!  That was my part of the national holiday, producing my very own fireworks!

So now today, thinking back to that day, and also seeing Al acting different, not knowing anything other than a few more tears, a few more frowns, and a listlessness, Al comes out to me and says he doesn’t want to keep any secrets from me, and that he has known something for two days.

He sat down on the couch, and started to cry and he said his time was close. I flipped around in my chair and said what makes you think that? He tells me God came to him, two nights ago and told him it is almost time. I asked him if this was just a feeling, or if he felt like he was just so sad, and he says to me NO, GOD TOLD ME. IT WAS VERY REAL, HE WANTS ME TO KNOW IT IS NEAR.

I told him how sorry I was and reminded him of how going to heaven was going to be the best thing that he would ever experience in his life, and I added no more pains or tremors. The tears stopped, and he said, I just wanted to let you know, and the conversation ended.

I am not going to read anything into this, or try to diagnose his comments. It is what it is, and only God and Al know the truth.

So for this day, I am a half-faced clown. On one half, I am smiling because it is my son’s birthday, and I have wonderful memories of this, and on the other half of my face, a big tear falls, a prayer goes up to God for Al, and sadness has sneaked in.