I Changed my Mind

I changed my mind, as when I had accepted the last award today, I was writing no more, today,but I am sitting here in awe. Yes, I think my mouth is actually dropped and open, and it isn’t taking any food in.

I just watched Joyce Meyers, and I swear she knew me. It was like she had somehow received a letter from me or someone close that knows me because the entire message was for me!

I am sitting here with jaw dropped because, she made it very clear that I am beautiful, that God made me beautiful and in his own image, and that I am just what he wants me to be.

Now, I have gone through here stating to all of you that I have lost myself, and this is what she has talked about. Being a people pleaser, forgetting who I am, trying to do for others. She didn’t say I could not do for others, she stated that I am doing TOO much for others.

How can a three-letter word,too, be so darn important? Ask me, I know, I am that person. I have lost myself, and am trying to find out who I am, and who God says I am. I know that I am a caregiver for my brother, and I know I love to write, but other than that, I have no idea. I bet you all know more about me than I do about my own self.

I am going to have to ask god tonight to show me who it is that he hath made. What is special about me. What is it that he liked about me when he made this creature that sits here in front of my screen sometimes laughing, sometimes crying and sometimes questioning life.

She made me realize that God is crying because he knows I am crying and that I am not happy. I don’t think it is all about Al either, but he does have a huge part in it, because I ALLOWED him to over take my life.

So, I have work to do, lots of work. I need to kick this slight depression in the ass and toss it out the door! I am  a child of God, and he loves me! Why did it take her lesson to get me to see it? I don’t know. I almost missed the show, and then I was mentally kicked in the rear, turn it on!!!!!!

I am glad I did, and now to start finding out about what I am all about. I don’t have any idea why I am even asking this, but I felt the need to, please, help me find me again through prayer. I know there is something else about me that is worthy besides being a caregiver.

This blog page is sort of sad, but yet I am a little happier, because, I can, with your help and God’s help, quit trying to please parents who no longer are living, I can quit trying to please my children, who will always love me in the end, I hope. I can start to relax, and enjoy this life that God has given me, instead of stressing out each moment, wondering if I am doing enough.

Geesh, I love God and Joyce Meyers……………..

Super Sweet Award

Kay at

http://funandmorebykay.wordpress.com/

has nominated me for the Super Sweet Award!

I have already had my turn at accepting this cute sugary sweet award, and will not waste your time on repeating all of the answers I did before, but I wanted to make sure Kay got her recognition for she did not have to choose me for this. There are thousands of people out there who also would love it! I just want to pick up one of these little cupcakes and lick the frosting off! LOL

Here is a little bit about Kay, and hey, if you have the time, hop on over and take a look at her blog!

am a full time working married Momma of 2. My kids are 5 and 3 and they try my patience sometimes, but I love them dearly. My husband and I have been married 9 years. We have been through a lot together, but we are stuck together with a love that will never break or fade. Everyday we learn new things about each other.

 

As for me I love the color purple. I think everyday should have it’s own soundtrack. Life should come with it’s own soundtrack. I love music with a passion. My favorite animal is a panther. I can be shy and I do get jealous. I try to admit when I am wrong. There are days I want to hold my head high and be myself and proud of who I am. Then there are days when I get blue and dwell on the past. I am finally trying to learn from my mistakes so I don’t repeat them. I have had a lot of people come in and out of my life for a reason and a season. Very few last a lifetime.

I have established this blog to kind of put a record down of my life and my thoughts. I want to have some fun writing it. I have started other blogs before and never kept at it. I am going to try to commit to this one. I am hoping to add to it everyday and watch it grow. Thanks for reading and bearing with me as I try to get this right.

Thank You so much Kay for this fine award!!!!

I would like to make a  nomination to a person  I know that has had a lot on her plate lately. I hope this cheers you up!!!

Bird
birdmartin.wordpress.com

Picture and Write It, August 19,2012

Come to mama, she whispers in the winds, that roll of the bare branches, into his heart and soul. He was fighting it. She was evil, and he didn’t want any part of this life.

She had tricked him before, breaking his heart, and stealing his virginity, only to leave him standing alone in the dark.

He had fought depression over a figure of his imagination, drawing the wildness out of him and pouring it into hidden desires. He had started out reading the books, and looking at magazines, and ventured farther into dreams of wild ecstasy. He had crossed paths between dreams and reality and let it take over his waking and sleeping hours.

He hadn’t realized it had gone too far, until the doctor announced that he was in a deep depression and he had to seek help to figure out why he had this obsession with bad girls. He realized something was wrong, when he had started to lose weight, and wanted to sleep more than his usual night-time hours. It had begun to affect his work performance and had been verbally reprimanded by his boss, to get his shit in order. This was no place to goof off, he was not going to pay him for no work.

He made an appointment with a doctor who would help him sort out his evil desires and to figure out why he felt this way and how to get help to lay it to rest. It took several months of meeting twice weekly to come to the realization that this was his imagination being worked, and none of this was real.

He went to his best friend, who he had confided as much as he knew to, and the friend asked him if he would like to go to church with him one Sunday. He didn’t jump up and say yes, but because it was his best friend, he did consent to go the following Sunday.

At church the sermon was on the devil’s work, and how Satan could wiggle his way into a human’s conscience and have his way with him. Convincing him that the only way to live in the world was through Satan himself.

He sat and listened, and after church was over, he and his best friend, talked to the minister about the problems he was having. The minister asked him if he had ever accepted Jesus Christ to be his savior, and the boy said no. The minister went on to explain how Christ was the only answer to fighting off the devil.

After much talk, the two boys thanked the minister and went out the doors of the church.The two didn’t speak much about what had been said inside the church doors and went on to talk about the following weeks activities.

That night, as the boy slept, she came to him once again, inviting him to be with her. She would feel his wildest fantasies, please come to her, follow her. He could hear her whispers in his ear, even as he was sleeping.

He woke up startled at the reality, and felt his clothes that were soaked with sweat. He was afraid and he wanted this to stop. He didn’t want to live like this anymore. He got out of bed and kneeled on his knees at the bed side, and asked the Lord to come live in his heart.

He poured out his fears and his need to be free of this evil over taking him. He cried as he called out to God to heal him, and stay with him and never let this evil speak to him again in any form.

He felt a quietness come over him, and his sweat was dried with God’s hands. He was picked up by the arms of Jesus, and cleansed with the blood of Christ. A heaviness was lifted, and he felt a peace flow through his veins. God gently laid him back down on  his bed, and covered him with his blessings and love. God took his fingers and closed the boy’s eye lids and sleep was brought upon him. After this night, the evil dreams never appeared again, and God had even made sure there were no memories left to arise ever again.

http://ermiliablog.wordpress.com

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