I Changed my Mind


DILO 3-21-07 Listening to Joyce Meyer

I changed my mind, as when I had accepted the last award today, I was writing no more, today,but I am sitting here in awe. Yes, I think my mouth is actually dropped and open, and it isn’t taking any food in.

I just watched Joyce Meyers, and I swear she knew me. It was like she had somehow received a letter from me or someone close that knows me because the entire message was for me!

I am sitting here with jaw dropped because, she made it very clear that I am beautiful, that God made me beautiful and in his own image, and that I am just what he wants me to be.

Now, I have gone through here stating to all of you that I have lost myself, and this is what she has talked about. Being a people pleaser, forgetting who I am, trying to do for others. She didn’t say I could not do for others, she stated that I am doing TOO much for others.

How can a three-letter word,too, be so darn important? Ask me, I know, I am that person. I have lost myself, and am trying to find out who I am, and who God says I am. I know that I am a caregiver for my brother, and I know I love to write, but other than that, I have no idea. I bet you all know more about me than I do about my own self.

I am going to have to ask god tonight to show me who it is that he hath made. What is special about me. What is it that he liked about me when he made this creature that sits here in front of my screen sometimes laughing, sometimes crying and sometimes questioning life.

She made me realize that God is crying because he knows I am crying and that I am not happy. I don’t think it is all about Al either, but he does have a huge part in it, because I ALLOWED him to over take my life.

So, I have work to do, lots of work. I need to kick this slight depression in the ass and toss it out the door! I amΒ  a child of God, and he loves me! Why did it take her lesson to get me to see it? I don’t know. I almost missed the show, and then I was mentally kicked in the rear, turn it on!!!!!!

I am glad I did, and now to start finding out about what I am all about. I don’t have any idea why I am even asking this, but I felt the need to, please, help me find me again through prayer. I know there is something else about me that is worthy besides being a caregiver.

This blog page is sort of sad, but yet I am a little happier, because, I can, with your help and God’s help, quit trying to please parents who no longer are living, I can quit trying to please my children, who will always love me in the end, I hope. I can start to relax, and enjoy this life that God has given me, instead of stressing out each moment, wondering if I am doing enough.

Geesh, I love God and Joyce Meyers……………..

43 thoughts on “I Changed my Mind

  1. Praise the Lord! He knows when and what we need to hear. He feeds us “from the finest of the wheat”. I am asking the Lord to give you dreams and visions that will reveal Him, His love for you and His purposes for your life other than the caregiver role. You are so important to Jesus.

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    • thank you so much my dear friend. i feel slightly silly that I don’t know me by this stage of my life, but i think i used to and have just forgotten.. i so appreciate the prayers, u know how much i believe in them

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  2. Terry,
    One would think that we already knew this… but sometimes we need to hear it from someone else to get the message. I’m glad you got it and forwarded it on to me, and anyone else who needed to hear it. Thanks!
    ~ Lynda

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    • Lynda, I am happy to spread it around that we don’t always know who we are. in my instance, i used to know me fairly well, but with being a caregiver every single hour, i have lost who i am and the love for life i should have. i am hoping getting these times away, starting this week really helps me bounce back!!!! thank u for this wonderful comment.

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  3. it seems that is all i truly have is my faith. i can’t have too much faith in my own decisions, and i can’t have faith in other people. there have been people in my life that i have loved dearly for years, and they ended up hurting me the most, one even taking my first husband, so i do keep my faith, but you know that i understand where you are coming from also, and will never judge you, but only love u as my sweet friend

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  4. What a God moment! I’m so glad that you got this message and am praying with you for all that He is going to show you about you! πŸ™‚ love you, angel Terry!

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  5. I will be praying for you….now that you have asked God I know He will answer. 4 years ago I asked and not only did He answer but God led me to an awesome Pastor who is also my Spiritual mentor. The journey we are on!!!! WOW – it can only be from God. May God’s blessings shower down on you. πŸ˜€

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    • the thing that most bothers me is, is it him speaking to me or is it my own selfish desires. i struggle with this most of the time, but then there are a few times i do know for sure, it was god

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      • I am finding answers to that questions through Spiritual Disciplines and Spiritual Formation – 4 years and still seeking but no longer struggling. I think it will always be something we are praying and thinking about. But that is a good thing right? By struggling with it, you are seeking answers and turning to God and isn’t that what He wants from us? To go to Him in our times of confusion, troubles and sorrows….also in our joys!
        Blessings!

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      • i never looked at it like that. i always thought i was disappointing him by being confused, but the way you are explaining it tells me i am always searching and clinging to my faith. Thank you!!!!!!

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      • I felt the same way until my Spiritual Director told me in ways I could understand. It is a wonderful world of discovery! πŸ˜€ Blessings and spiritual hugs! Patty

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  6. “I can start to relax, and enjoy this life that God has given me, instead of stressing out each moment, wondering if I am doing enough.” AMEN! Lord bless you as you continue ot trust Him each day!

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