I was woken up from my sleep by my phone going off alerting me to receiving a text. I rolled over and put my glasses on, and looked at the new message. It says, I am sorry, I am not feeling good and am on my way to the ER. I won’t be able to come today.
It was from the caregiver. At first, I was mad, then I became real, and realized I had made the choice to hire a very nice lady to watch over Al, who happened to have health problems also.
I have made a mistake, not thinking of me first, in a way. I thought of me first because I want a break so darn bad, that I hired a nice lady. I made a mistake though, by not being smart enough to realize that this could affect certain dates of her not being here, due to her health.
This is not the first time, nor the second, that my plans have gone down the tubes, but it is my last time. I can make choices. Although, I wish her well, and I hope her health becomes stable, I need a break.
My heart is feeling some sadness still at not getting out, but I placed an ad in the local newspaper to get a new respite caregiver, who is healthier. My gosh, what if something happened to her while Al was in her care? I guess that statement is made in hind site.
This getting tougher around the edges and thinking in the priority level is difficult, but I am doing it. I would normally have just accepted the fact that she was not coming, been sad, and hoped for another chance to have my break, but this time, thanks to so many of you saying to me, that I need to be a little selfish for my sake, I have placed the ad which will start tomorrow. I will get my break, I do need my break, and I think Al could use a break from me too. Let’s hope I find another nice lady with better health!