05 | September | 2012

Today, I wrote a nice blog about how I got to get my time out, blah blah blah, remember? Now, I shall write about the flip side of the coin, so that hopefully, my brain will calm down and I can get some rest tonight. What is the topic of interest? My brother, who I really did not want to write about tonight. I get tired of pouring out my heart to all of you sweet people who are trying to find posts that are enlightening but tonight’s post is frustration and a sense of losing the game once and for all.

While I was out relaxing, Al did pretty good, but the caregiver did have to work a tad harder as Al could not get up off the couch and she had to help him. It was no shock to me when she told me she had to assist him, I do it all the time in one way or another.

When she left, he was napping, so I had some extra minutes to spend with each of you. When he rose from his nap, he barely made it to the couch, and almost landed on the floor at dinner, missing the mark of the seat of the chair. I have told him so many times that he has to back up to the chair, and once he feels it to his legs, he may sit down. Remember the game we played when we were little, Mother May I? This is what I play now as a grown up.

He refuses to back up to any chair, because he wants to do it like he used to, just flop the butt down and scoot yourself to get comfy. I finally got him seated, and gave him his plate, and then I came and sat at my own little table, and he says to me, he can not eat.

I leave my plate behind for the wandering flies, and go to him. His tremors are so bad, that he can’t use the fork or spoon, and he decides he is not hungry any longer. I offer him an Ensure, which he did drink the entire drink, but then he changed his mind and wanted his dinner, but asked me to feed him, so I did, but he ended up eating about a fourth of his dinner. He was even struggling chewing the bites I had cut up. So glad I had the ensure.

After supper, he asked me to load up his tooth-brush, because he could not squeeze the toothpaste out, so I did. He asked me to help him get washed up, so I did. Then he came to the couch and sort of fell into it, like I would if I was so tired and I was going to be lying in a nice soft fluffy down feathered bed.

I left him there with the television on and went next door to the neighbors for a short time. When I came back he was still sitting in the same spot, and this is good. I played around on the computer for a while, and before I knew it snack time and medication time was here.

He could not get off the couch all evening, so I helped him each time. His knees have been freezing, a side effect of Parkinson’s for the last three days, not freezing as in cold, but freezing as in can not move. The freezing has continued in strength each of these days. He could not get the lid off of his snacks, so I opened it. He could not get on the chair so I had to physically place him in the correct spot.

Along with all of this, he is bitching because he thinks he is losing weight, which I am sure he is, then he was cussing at his shorts, because when he was being helped to his seat, his shorts dropped a little. Time for a third set of clothes due to weight loss this year.

Now snacks are over and I have told him about the depends that I bought today, and I want him to try them for tonight, just at night-time. I explained that since he is freezing so bad that he is going pee in his pants, that this might help and in the mornings he could take them off. I expected a big argument, but he said alright.

He is now sitting on the couch, tremoring and crying because his shorts are too big.

It is 11:30 at night, and I can see it is going to be another long night for the two of us. So I think you can understand why the title says, I See It Coming. Placement is going to be decided for me, I will not have to think about choices.