Reality At My Door

My Circle of Friends

Not all of us, but plenty of us, including myself, never truly appreciate our very own unique lives that our creator has given to us, until we are almost on death’s row. How can we move through out each day, giving our best, drawing from the naturals of life, and yet not truly understand how precious a gift life is.

As I said above, I am so guilty of this myself, and I wonder at how I can drift through each day, observing the days turning into weeks then month and finally years. What is it in each of us, that we hate, but we constantly place it on the back part of our mind, shoving it so far back, that we can go for long periods of living without thinking twice about the real issue.

For me, smoking and my weight are my personal triggers. I know it is unhealthy, but do I really understand how unhealthy it is. Is some of our ideas brought on from our society, or do we know for a fact, that all that we hear and see is true. Is it not true, that we are all created uniquely? We have different bone formations, different genes, our bodies are not all slim in structure. Can this play a role in whether we are healthy or not, or is it a game from within our brains that we must conform to what society believes.

My weight, has been on my mind for the past month or so. Now let me state, that although, I shove my weight in the back part of my mind, the front part remembers it socially. When I see the new swimsuit line come out, or the cute little winter dresses for the holidays, there is a part of me, that kicks myself, because I have too much weight on me to be able to feel comfortable and to look my best in an outfit like that.

I could have done something about this, but I didn’t. Now in less than a month away, I am meeting a blogging friend for the first time, and I am not so much nervous, I will save that for the day this person arrives, but I am kicking myself for not taking my looks more seriously.

I have allowed my environment to get the best of me. I stay in the house 80% of the time. I have fooled myself with explanations of who cares, who is going to see me, I have no one to impress, but I have realized, for me, these are excuses. Don’t I want my own body to be a place that is the best it can be for Jesus to want to live in? Don’t I want my body to be the best it can be for those unexpected times of meeting that new friend, or how about running accidentally into a gorgeous looking man at the store? Would I really want him to see me with rollers in my hair and wearing those cute sleeper pants, that can pass for public wear, no one realizing that I slept in them last night? Or would I rather take the five minutes to get dressed, wear that bra, put a dash of blush and mascara, and at least run a brush and comb through my hair?

Why does it take a near death episode of a family member, or a close friend, or maybe a co-worker, to snap us into reality. You know what I mean. You or I or someone you know, loses a parent to lung cancer, and all of a sudden, no matter how hard it is, we throw that partial pack of cigarettes away in the trash. We were snapped into reality, quicker than you can say blink! We realize at that precise moment, that we all live on borrowed time. It is not ours to choose our ending date, but Gods.

I am so guilty of not laying down the rotten, addicting smokes. I am the first to say that I am highly addicted. If I accidentally leave them at home, my heart starts racing, I can feel the beat coming through my clothes. I will sometimes race back home to retrieve them, or maybe I will just stop at a gas station and grab a pack. I must have them with me, I may need them.

It sounds so utterly ridiculous, but this is my addiction. The same goes for my weight. I know it is hard on my heart to pump harder. Hearts are only made to work properly for so many years, before it begins to show signs of wear and tear.  I know the statistics are that over weight and smoking can and may cause early deaths, so why do I choose to ignore it.

Why does it take a near death to make me change my ways. Are any of you with me here on this topic? You may be able to replace the words weight and smoking with your own personal struggles. This may be a better way to relate better. Ask yourself why you put off what you do.

What can we do to change this pattern that we have let ourselves slip into. Can God help us to better our vision? Must we wait until we see death at our neighbor’s door? Let any of you join me in prayer, praying for God’s blessings and asking him to help us to realize that we belong to him and him alone. That we want our temple to become the best home it can be for Jesus to live in. Let us come together as a group of people, acknowledging our own faults, and knowing we are humans, and that with the help and guidance from God and each other, we can learn to conquer what we have hidden in the back of our minds. We can not make miracles happen over night, but we can take the back burner where simmer is on, and turn it off, bringing it to the front burner, and force ourselves to bring it into reality of now. With our own faith, and desires, and the help of each other and God, we can at least make a start to even better lives. We can show God in this way how much we truly love and respect him, and we can set examples for our youth so that they do not follow in the same patterns.

I wish I was smarter, because if I was, I would create some type of web page, that all can come to for support. To be able to talk without fear of ridicule, to open our hearts sharing our frustrations, to be able to bond with another human that is suffering in the same way. Together, we could make a change, a difference, a start.

22 thoughts on “Reality At My Door

  1. Terry,

    We all have issues that need to be dealt with in our lives. What a blessing it is when the Lord shows us the issue and places on our heart to burden to deal with it By looking to the Lord and purposely giving the issue to Him, submiitting to HIS Lordship in that specific area of our life is one of the most important steps in getting victory over whatever our issue maybe. You are well on your way my friend. My prayers continue to be with you. Lord bless you.


  2. I have a weight issue…and it seems attempting to do something about it keeps being put temporarily on hold for one reason or another. I definitely want to do something about it but I will wait until my motivation for doing so and making the full-time commitment. is full steam ahead. Hopefully it will be soon. Right now my focus is on our move and selling the house. I hope you are able to find the right time for yourself….Diane


    • is there really a right time to lose weight or anything else that is bothering us. I tend to ignore it until something happens and i realize someone new will b looking at me. lol, maybe i just don’t want to lose bad enough, or as you say the motivation is not there. i will say by your photo, you look like u don’t need to lose any weight!!!!! hey, good luck with the move and selling the house. what area are you going to be moving to?


      • Oh..looks can be deceiving ..if you take a picture from the waist up lol I want to lose about 10-15 pounds…I should lose more according to my height but at my age I just want to lose what I consider the ‘excess’.

        We’ve been here in a small town since my husband retired 12 years sister and husband lives here, but we’re finding that we miss not being closer to our children and grandchildren…We don’t see them near enough and our sons have been telling us they would love it if we were closer…also for the support factor as we age…So we’re moving after hopefully selling our house to another small town only west of Toronto instead of east of Toronto…Thanks for asking…Dianae


  3. To take on changes to yourself is a massive step – not easy to change things when you’re not have a chance to leave the house. You can join Weight Watchers online and you don’t have to go to any meeting – have a friend that did that – she lost 32 kilos. I have my Zumba class – it starts again on 26th. I moved to a town that didn’t know one person … I had to do something that I met people through. Terry, it’s all down to you this – it’s just to take that step and keep on going.


    • when i lived in Florida, Al went to a day care through the week and I used to be in classes such as Zumba, i loved it and it paid off too!!!! thanks for the tip of weight watchers………………..


      • My friend she did her weightlost all on line – she just put in what she had in the fridge and loads of recipes came up and she could follow her weightlost online too. Check it out. Zumba is a fanastic and so fun.


  4. Every day I think …if I had kept to my diet plan… by now I would be where I want to be…I find my emotions are my down fall…they get the best of me…and it doesn’t take much for me to get off track…I know I really do not consider looks as much as the person’s personality…but, inside I feel all are judging me…You are not alone…if that helps…~mkg


  5. I can relate to this so well. I was supposed to quit smoking on Monday and failed for the millionth time, then I got asthma so couldn’t and as soon as the asthma went away (yesterday) I went and bought a pack. Argh!
    Re the self-image thing, you’re worrying too much. That blogging friend of ours is probably gonna tell you off – heha!
    Great post that so many of us can relate to in one way or another!


  6. Fortunately I have never smoked in my life and no longer have a weight problem. I used to be some overweight, but after doing some long fasts with the church at the beginning of the last few years, my weight has been relatively stable. Of course, that isn’t the answer for everyone and not everyone can physically do a long fast. I believe now that you have made your thoughts public you have a better chance of following through with these issues. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. And sometimes it seems failure is lurking around every corner, but as you persevere with the support of your friends, you will eventually win these battles if you keep moving forward one step at a time. And don’t allow discouragement to set in when you have a set-back. Keep looking forward to your goal and upward towards the Lord.


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