Reality At My Door

Not all of us, but plenty of us, including myself, never truly appreciate our very own unique lives that our creator has given to us, until we are almost on death’s row. How can we move through out each day, giving our best, drawing from the naturals of life, and yet not truly understand how precious a gift life is.

As I said above, I am so guilty of this myself, and I wonder at how I can drift through each day, observing the days turning into weeks then month and finally years. What is it in each of us, that we hate, but we constantly place it on the back part of our mind, shoving it so far back, that we can go for long periods of living without thinking twice about the real issue.

For me, smoking and my weight are my personal triggers. I know it is unhealthy, but do I really understand how unhealthy it is. Is some of our ideas brought on from our society, or do we know for a fact, that all that we hear and see is true. Is it not true, that we are all created uniquely? We have different bone formations, different genes, our bodies are not all slim in structure. Can this play a role in whether we are healthy or not, or is it a game from within our brains that we must conform to what society believes.

My weight, has been on my mind for the past month or so. Now let me state, that although, I shove my weight in the back part of my mind, the front part remembers it socially. When I see the new swimsuit line come out, or the cute little winter dresses for the holidays, there is a part of me, that kicks myself, because I have too much weight on me to be able to feel comfortable and to look my best in an outfit like that.

I could have done something about this, but I didn’t. Now in less than a month away, I am meeting a blogging friend for the first time, and I am not so much nervous, I will save that for the day this person arrives, but I am kicking myself for not taking my looks more seriously.

I have allowed my environment to get the best of me. I stay in the house 80% of the time. I have fooled myself with explanations of who cares, who is going to see me, I have no one to impress, but I have realized, for me, these are excuses. Don’t I want my own body to be a place that is the best it can be for Jesus to want to live in? Don’t I want my body to be the best it can be for those unexpected times of meeting that new friend, or how about running accidentally into a gorgeous looking man at the store? Would I really want him to see me with rollers in my hair and wearing those cute sleeper pants, that can pass for public wear, no one realizing that I slept in them last night? Or would I rather take the five minutes to get dressed, wear that bra, put a dash of blush and mascara, and at least run a brush and comb through my hair?

Why does it take a near death episode of a family member, or a close friend, or maybe a co-worker, to snap us into reality. You know what I mean. You or I or someone you know, loses a parent to lung cancer, and all of a sudden, no matter how hard it is, we throw that partial pack of cigarettes away in the trash. We were snapped into reality, quicker than you can say blink! We realize at that precise moment, that we all live on borrowed time. It is not ours to choose our ending date, but Gods.

I am so guilty of not laying down the rotten, addicting smokes. I am the first to say that I am highly addicted. If I accidentally leave them at home, my heart starts racing, I can feel the beat coming through my clothes. I will sometimes race back home to retrieve them, or maybe I will just stop at a gas station and grab a pack. I must have them with me, I may need them.

It sounds so utterly ridiculous, but this is my addiction. The same goes for my weight. I know it is hard on my heart to pump harder. Hearts are only made to work properly for so many years, before it begins to show signs of wear and tear.  I know the statistics are that over weight and smoking can and may cause early deaths, so why do I choose to ignore it.

Why does it take a near death to make me change my ways. Are any of you with me here on this topic? You may be able to replace the words weight and smoking with your own personal struggles. This may be a better way to relate better. Ask yourself why you put off what you do.

What can we do to change this pattern that we have let ourselves slip into. Can God help us to better our vision? Must we wait until we see death at our neighbor’s door? Let any of you join me in prayer, praying for God’s blessings and asking him to help us to realize that we belong to him and him alone. That we want our temple to become the best home it can be for Jesus to live in. Let us come together as a group of people, acknowledging our own faults, and knowing we are humans, and that with the help and guidance from God and each other, we can learn to conquer what we have hidden in the back of our minds. We can not make miracles happen over night, but we can take the back burner where simmer is on, and turn it off, bringing it to the front burner, and force ourselves to bring it into reality of now. With our own faith, and desires, and the help of each other and God, we can at least make a start to even better lives. We can show God in this way how much we truly love and respect him, and we can set examples for our youth so that they do not follow in the same patterns.

I wish I was smarter, because if I was, I would create some type of web page, that all can come to for support. To be able to talk without fear of ridicule, to open our hearts sharing our frustrations, to be able to bond with another human that is suffering in the same way. Together, we could make a change, a difference, a start.