Where Are The Tremors? I Heard They Leave In The Final Stage


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Hi to all of my blogger friends! I had a couple of good friends ask where I was. I know I post too much, but you are the ones I talk to in my life, so I can not help it. Yesterday, I was barely on the internet, just popping in to see if there were any fires or emergencies. LOL.

I was down, and let me tell you, I hate it when I get down, and most of the time, I don’t even know what took me down in the beginning. I was fine when I woke up, and I think it may have started when I had to strip Al’s bed down to the mattress, as he had soaked his bed good. He had done this the night before also, and even today, during his nap, he wet, but I didn’t have to strip the whole bed, just had to make surface changes.

Yesterday, before I could start drinking my coffee, I had the complete bed change, Al to wash up and shave, and then fix him breakfast, and then drink my coffee. I spent the day floating from then on, but not really having my mind anywhere particular.

I switched out Al and my summer clothing and replaced with all fall and winter. I could see that I am going to have to purchase some smaller pants for Al,  just by comparing him to his sweats, there is much difference in sizes. I did laundry, and then felt so pooped half way through the day, that I ended up taking a nap.

I should not be feeling this way. I am middle-aged but I am not ready for the rocker on the porch thing, so I don’t know why I am so darn tired all the time.

This Parkinson’s is a tricky business. While Al can go from sad to happy in ten seconds, his tremors have slowed down immensely for several days. I read on a couple of web sites, that the final stage can bring a slowness in tremors, so while they are slowing, I am having to face the fact, that he is definitely becoming incontinent permanently. He is wet all through sleeping times, and he does not soak through the day usually, but he does wet, so while some things are slowing, others are speeding up.

Last evening, I was still down, but a very good friend of mine pushed me back to normal by talking to me through emails for a couple of hours. She is just what I needed, plenty of laughter, and complaining about our days, just girl stuff, you know??

I woke up still in a good mood today, so I am glad the sadness has left for today also. I changed his sheets and bathed him, got his breakfast, and then sat here at the computer with my hot coffee and wrote a writing exercise, and did a couple of quotes, and even played a game, that I love on FB.

Al has continued his calm tremors today and I have seen plenty of smiles, and a couple of laughs. He even refused his noon pain medications, but by supper he was freezing a little and staggering, so I gave him two of his pain meds.

I fixed lasagna for supper with biscuits and corn, and he acted like he had not eaten for years. He gobbled it up in no time at all. He is sitting on the couch reading the paper, and I don’t even hear the paper rattling like I usually do from his tremors.

All in all it has been a good day today. I can’t figure out the PD, but I am thankful for a good day and laughter from Al.

40 thoughts on “Where Are The Tremors? I Heard They Leave In The Final Stage

    • i get so excited when i see the smiles and a couple of laughs, but part of me worries because the tremors are calming down, and i know what that means. it is so hard to take one day or one hour, but if i do this, it would make me more grateful for each moment. thank you for this wise comment

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  1. Don’t wonder why you’re tired Terry..Aside from all the physical things you need to do…like the washing and cleaning Al and his bed clothes and his other laundry…make meals etc. you have the emotional reasons for tiredness to deal with.Perhaps you’ve mentioned but I may have missed it but why can Al not wear ‘a man’s undergarment’ like Depends? The new ones are just like regular briefs…I know because my husband has a prostate problem and sometimes has to wear them. I know Al also sweats profusely but if one of the issues was helped it may give some relief. Just a thought…Diane

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    • he does wear briefs during the day, and managed to wet right through it at nap time, but he does not wear a brief at night because the nurse thinks he will give up being continent for good, but gosh, I am getting tired of changing complete bed changes. Al has an enlarged prostate also. I am going to make him an appointment tomorrow with a urologist, as he can sometimes go every half an hour, and then normally he has to wait a minute or two before any action finally takes place. Yes Al sweats terribly, and the dr. says it is from his PD

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  2. Terry, I’m glad today was a better day. It is hard to do what you are doing and thus you get tired and depressed. You are doing wonders considering how hard it all is! Dad wears depends briefs now (in colors) car and night without complaint. He doesn’t usually wet in the day but this works well and he doesn’t complain.

    If you’re tired, it is ok to nap, but sometimes when I feel like that it helps me wake up if I can get outside for a short walk. Otherwise I nap. Mom used to nap every day except when she was working and she felt it gave her more energy for the rest of the day. It makes me groggy to nap sometimes though, so I try not to. Other times I just give in to it. I do have more energy later but it takes awhile to totally wake up! Today I took a short walk and that gave me my energy back. It was so dark and overcast all I could think of was sleeping. After my walk I was able to get more paperwork done.

    Take care of yourself, and no guilt if you nap. It may be just what you need!

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    • do you think maybe i should think about having Al wear briefs around the clock? the nurse says he will give up his independence, but i am wearing out the washer. your thoughts please? are there different ones for heavy wetting at night and lighter ones for day hours? so it must not be uncommon to not wet through the day much and soak through the night. i do feel groggier after a nap, i admit, but Al also doesn’t go to bed very early, so i can handle staying up later until he is safe in bed

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      • Yes, Terry, you might ask if he is willing to try them for a few days. With my dad, they didn’t give him a choice, they just removed his underware from his bureau. Still, dad uses the depends shorts as if they are underware and still runs to the toilet during the day. They are like kids pull ups. My dad wears a small size, so I don’t know about other options. I did look online once and one could order a trial kit of different types of Depends for free. I think you can look around at amazon or just on google and see what is available. I get dad’s now from amazon on a schedule of 4 boxes every 2 months. I haven’t been doing it automatically like this before so I might find that is too much or not enough. I just try to not let him run out and he takes them out and puts them on himself if I leave them in his bureau. I really don’t know how often he has a daytime accident, but sometimes he does. Sometimes they have stomach bugs go around and then he will mess himself. He removes it himself and leaves it in the bathroom. They do shower him twice a week but I know of only a few times when he was so messy they had to clean him up. That was when he had the UTI and diarrhea both and woke up in a mess in his bed. I could be wrong as I don’t clean him myself, but he only gets a shower twice a week and even less if he refuses to let them shower him.

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      • thank you for sharing with me, it brings me comfort. i will check around web sites. i didn’t realize i could order briefs online, and it would be nice to sample to see what he needs. so far the days can be a light brief but the nights we need a heavy brief. thank you so much for caring and helping me

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  3. Can you get those adult nappies for Al. That’s what Anthony wears all the time now. Plus you can get this thing called a kylie to put on the bed so you don’t have to change all the sheets.
    No wonder you are tired!

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    • the nurse doesn’t want him to wear them because she is afraid that he will give up trying to pee on his own, but i want to place him in the adult briefs all the time. it just makes it easier for me. what is a kylie? I have a big thick bed pad i lay on the bed with a blue chux pad on top of that and he still soaks

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      • I would be putting him in those pants all the time. Take it from me – it isn’t going to get better and it’ll make it so much easier for you. A kylie is this waterproof sheet thing they use in nursing homes – not sure if that’s what they call it over there. It is brilliant.

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  4. Terry,u try Depends.com and order a sample kit. They have small and large sizes for men. There are other brands too so you could just look at adult diapers.

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  5. Terry,

    Do you ever get any respite? My husband and I took care of my mother in law for a year and a half. She had dementia and was quite a handful! You and I both know its our love for the person that keeps us going, but I also know having regular breaks helped a lot and was quite necessary. Blessings, Jan

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    • no i do not get respite, but i need it. home health care comes but it is for him and not for me, and i don’t know how much longer they will be coming, not much from what i have heard. there is not anything they can really do to help with PD, they just try to strengthen his muscles but i don’t see improvements in this as he is so weak

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  6. There certainly are may ups and downs with Parkinsons.It is a “one day at a time thing”. Speaking for myself, it is this type of situation that is hardest for me. It takes patience, love, and faith to get you through all the uncertainty. You are displaying all of these in your life. Thanks for sharing your experiences and how you are continuing to deal with them. May the Lord continue to bless you with added strength and grace.

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  7. When things are bad…we seem to understand it…but, when things get better…with no explanation…we seem to worry…worry…worry…
    I found this…because I was always anticipating that something worse was about to happen…
    I’m glad Al’s tremors are better…that he can smile…laugh…read his paper…Just try and enjoy these moments with him…mkg

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  8. It’s never easy taking care of a sick love one but remember God is your source He will give you what you need for that day. And thank you for coming over to my site today,

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  9. Well it is good he is eating well. When my husband was ill and hospice came in, they told me the appetite will go and they may request one final final meal that they really like. And as long as his appetite is well he is still with you. They also told me that the hearing is the last to go. He lost his eyesight almost first and for most. I hope and pray for you guys daily and will continue to do so. Maybe if the wetting his bed every day maybe talk to a doctor or hospice about inserting a catheter. I know it sounds horrid, but it would save a lot of work for you and his emabarrasment as well. I will continue to pray for you sweety

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    • the nurses brought the catheter up in conversation, but nothing was actually done with the idea. right now he is wearing a brief at night. Al still eats, sometimes barely, and other times like he has never eaten before. thank you for the prayers Tracy. We both appreciate them, i want you to know. Al’s sight is less than it used to be and they can not correct it, they say it is from his heart but could it be the PD instead? he can no longer read fine print or too small

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  10. Hello Terry,
    I thought that I might weigh in on the discussions regarding the Depends. While it is not my intention to second guess any advice you are getting from the home care team (nothing replaces a hands on assessment so they will know best), I am not sure I understand the value of avoiding the Depends at night. First, with the progression of his illness as you describe, incontinence is typically inevitable. Second, if I were to recommend going for periods without the Depends in order to promote Al’s urge to urinate in the toilet or the commode, I would recommend that he wear the Depends at night and avoid using them during the day. It is not likely that Al will wake up out of a sound sleep and recognize the need to use the bathroom if he is not doing this during waking hours. If you find that he soaks through the Depends at night, there is additional absorbent padding that can be placed in the front in order to avoid leakage. What is most important is Al’s comfort and dignity and your ability to rest and take a break from constant laundry. I don’t see the harm in using Depends around the clock as long as you are sure that they get changed often and that he washes well in order to avoid skin breakdown.

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    • that is an excellent idea! i will try using them at night only and if we go out through the day. he can wear his own undies here at home through the day. I did use briefs last night, and yeah!, I did not have a bed change this morning, and I think he even slept better. He does have accidents during the day but not as many as at night, so this is why I think he could wear his own undies through the day..thank you so much for this creative idea! i get aggravated when I don’t think of them myself. I felt sort of bad for not listening to the nurse, but i thought hey, she is not doing the bed changes, and he will not get better or improve wetting from having PD. Thank you so much!!

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  11. I think you are wise to use the Depends during the night especially. You need to find ways to relieve some of the burden on yourself because if you wear out, who is going to look after Al, or after you for that matter? 🙂

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    • I have gotten to the place, where I look for ways to make life easier for me, and this was one area. it was taking away from me waking up with my coffee, changing his bed, cleaning the commode and urinal so the smell of urine does not permeate the house. now at least I can put a clean brief on him and then drink my coffee before cleaning him up. i hate to sound selfish, but gosh, i have to be once in a while

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      • Don’t look at it as being selfish, just caring for yourself. We all need to take care of personal needs or we would get run down physically and emotionally. You have enough things to cope with that cannot be overlooked, so you have to spare yourself wherever and whenever you can.

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      • two days in a row, Diane, no wet bed and no bed change, due to depends at night. I am so glad i chose to go this route!!! thank u for your wise words, i tend to feel selfish by having him give up his independence, but in this case, it has been easier on both of us, so i got rid of the selfishness in this case!

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  12. Terry, this with logging too much – just do it … what ever you feel for – but of course I worry when nothing comes from you suddenly and with your situation taking care of Al – anything can happen to either of you. Great post … about some less restrained days. So happy for you. both.

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    • i am just thankful for the tremors calming themselves for four days in a row now. i am trying not to figure out why they are stopping, just being thankful they are. a big hug to you from me!!!!!

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