What I Saw Today


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning I was to meet a friend, which did not work out, so instead I snapped two photos as I walked outside my front door. I  forced myself to go out alone. I have a hard time doing this, and don’t know why, but I ended up at one of the new jewelry stores that opened up and decided I wanted to boost myself up, so I bought this little Sapphire ring. It made me feel better, like getting a new hair do, but yet, tonight, I still feel down. I don’t get what is happening to me. I never used to be like this. I had a caregiver here this morning, and yet did not want to go. I got to get with the day and snap out of this mood!!!!!!

 

30 thoughts on “What I Saw Today

  1. I totally get this. For two years I was unable to go anywhere unless I took Anthony, or unless Ming was home to look out for him. Now I am free to get out I still feel strangely trapped. Thinking of you Terry.

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      • I don’t know. I am very much a homebody – in some ways this is good ie I am contents, but in other ways it is a rut and not a good thing – we will get there Terry!

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      • i am a total homebody because of his illness, so it makes going out awful, plus i don’t feel right going out so nothing looks good in the stores

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  2. Love you and thinking of you. It’s not as easy as it seems, to just take off on your own and enjoy yourself. Praying for more friends and people close to you, that you can do things with or meet up with at these caregiver times. Praying for Jesus to lift you up tonight and encourage your kind heart!

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  3. things are changing and that brings with it grief. don’t be too hard on yourself and tell yourself you should snap out of it, maybe you just need to feel what you’re feeling and let that be okay. letting yourself feel brings with it some answers and some relief. xo hugs

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  4. Terry,
    I’m new to your blog and don’t yet know your story, but I know what it’s like to live in self-imposed isolation due to thoughts and feelings that make the thought of facing people unbearable. I’m sorry you are going through this and don’t be so hard on yourself, there are probably a complex set of biochemical and neurological factors interacting with whatever the changes and triggering events in your life are. Know this, however alone you may feel, you are not alone.
    Blessings,
    Kina

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    • Hello Kina, so nice to see and meet you! I care for my brother who has multiple medical issues. It sometimes gets the best of me, sucking me into the sorrow of the illness. Isolation is something that has slipped into my life and now it makes me feel uncomfortable when I go out. I am sure there are many that do feel as I do. I don’t like what is happening, but do not know how to fix it

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      • Thanks for that explanation. At the risk of trying to offer a “fix” instead of just “listening” have you considered seeking local support groups for caretakers? I know in my area the local hospitals and medical centers offer groups and classes to help loved ones and family members cope with their feelings and learn how to do self care while taking care of another suffering from illness.

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      • I so wish there was a group here because I would be there. There is one PD group, but it is on what the disease is, and it is directed by my brother’s doctor who has placed himself as a PRN doctor from now on. I don’t feel like i need to know what PD is, because I do. I have often thought of offering a group here at my house on support for caregivers etc.

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  5. Leaving your home requires a forward motion that’s tough to muster when you carry a burden that constantly pulls you backward. You were rewarded with lovely leaves for your efforts! Bless you.

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    • thank you Sheila, I love the colors of fall!!!!, you do so understand what I felt yesterday, and it is a comfort to me, because I know for others it is so easy to pick up and go, but for me it was difficult

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  6. I’m glad you bought yourself this lovely ring…And I rellay liked the orange, yellow and peachy colored Autumn leaves…We saw some Maples turning a bright burgundy on their tops yesterday…Just so beautiful!…Slumpy times will go away…so just hang in there like you always do!

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  7. I pray that the changes of the season help to refresh your soul….The leaves that are in your yard speaks of God’s hope that what is now a season of feeling despair, will in the next season lift you up and restore you and make you once again whole. Hugs….Patty

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